• Member Since 7th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 21st, 2017

Dreamscape


"1/4 hipster, 3/4 kawaii"

Comments ( 46 )

very well written. :pinkiehappy:

Was it twilight, fluttershy, or soarin 8D at the door?

3645321 I'll go with Twilight, since she's the only other character to make an appearance. But that would be too obvious, so I'm not betting all my bits on it!

3645376 yeah but I was thinkin soarin because threesome daring on her side soarin on his

Woohoo, a well written post-Daring Don't DaringDash clopfic :rainbowkiss:
Nice work, mate :yay:

Ew, no Soarin. Get out of here with that mess. Spitfire with a strap-on! Let's get some Daring Dashfire up in this.

3646542
I totally agree with the no Soarin part :raritywink:

HOLY SHIT THIS IS EPIC, I actually have some interests in Daring Do as well, so I must say, this is a real piece of work you have.

3646553

Why?! Why the prejudice against penis?! :pinkiecrazy:

Anywho, great fic, duder. Very intimate and well-written. Can't wait for more. :ajsmug:

Oooh. I like this. Cute, well-written, and cheerful. Good work!

THAT...WAS...SO...AWESOME:heart::heart::rainbowkiss::heart::heart:

3646923 3647558 3648334 3649110
Thanks all of you! And its only going to get more AWESOME! :rainbowkiss: :rainbowwild: :rainbowkiss:

...her mouth contorting violently as she as she attempted...

"as she" repeated

"...That's a lot closer than a get to most ponies."

Methinks you're looking for the word "I"

“Thanks for the offer but, I like to snuggle."

The comma should come before "but"

There are a hooffull of mistakes dotted around, three of which I've highlighted for you above; might want to have your story proofread for future reference.

All in all, this is a bit lacking as far as substance. You essentially brewed lemonade without the -ade; there's little to no story element here. That's great for those readers who just come for the sex scenes, but anyone who wants a plot to follow (pun acknowledged) is really going to have to dig(two puns for the price of nones!).

Your writing isn't bad, I just wish you'd put some more meat in the exposition. It seems we have a cliffhanger here, though, so let's see where that takes us. Adding as a favourite at least for now, because I want to get updated.

3655042
Well thanks for pointing those out and I will fix them as soon as possible. As for having a proofreader, I don't have one and proofreading my own story doesn't work. I read through it at least five times after I finished and still missed stupid errors like that sooo, if you want you can do it. If not, I can't really fix them considering the fact that I can't find them myself. Also, as I've told others who said what you did, this story is specifically meant as clop and only clop. I could easily have written more of a story if I wanted to (look at my other works here), but since this is specifically meant for that reason, I didn't. I love an epic story line, who doesn't? When I wan't to read something like this though, I wanna get straight to the good stuff. Now if it was a romance story or some other genre with some sex scenes in it, then yes, it would've had a much better story.

Hope you guys like pony related fetishes because part two has a lot of them.

We JUST figured out what to call a Daring-Rainbow ship, and now this? -throws stack of papers in the air- I'M DONE. No, don't stop me. I'm resigning. This is all your fault.
... Thanks. :heart:

Aha, it was Luna invading Dash's dreams all along in order to have hot lesbian three-ways while shape-shifted into Daring and Twilight! Now we've caught the villain. This was almost the perfect crime. Too perfect.

3655866
I see. Fair enough. Thanks for clarifying your intention. Perhaps I'll check out some of your other works at some point.

God this is childish but...... 69th like! haha rainbow, rainbow, rainbow.... she gets all the bitches.... or not :trollestia:

....i killed 7 people to read this:scootangel:is that a bad thing....anyway now we have the darinf dash clop fics storming up...cant wait for flutterbat to come along

Comment posted by shadow wolf1573 deleted Jan 10th, 2014

As dash was getting ready to head out with tank on a flying trip twilight and daring walked inside a bag flouting behind them in twilights magic "hey rainbow we got some things for you"daring said with a grin twilight put the bag infrount of dash. Rainbow took the back and turned it upside down making a 3 way dildo that takes the cum from one mare and shots it into another 2 bottles of lube and a few dick growing pills fall on the ground. Rainbow didnt look up from the toys infrount of her but said "tonight well be so awsome...i might have to call in another day off"
Thats an ending im happy with..great story the adt ending i hated but the rest was hot as hell my.phone is burning my fingers

3763791
Hmm, you want Flutterbat clop? Check out my latest story then

3763791 Yes it is very bad thing to kill seven people, unless they had it coming anyway.

3768224 yes...they knew i was comming for the souls they have inside the meat sack the call a body it was only a matter of time

3764752 is it just clop or a story with plot and clop?

a3x

Pretty Fucking AWESOME!!! just as juicy and descriptive, as it could probably get.

We need more stories like these

3659618 Daring-Sparkle-Dash, right?

Awesome story. Can't wait to read more.

Great story. If you think about it this could be the actual ending and use part 2 as a dream but I see where you could use both as an ending. Keep up the good work in future stories.:twilightsmile:

This was an excellent read. Good show, old chap.:moustache:

when she noticed another figure standing in the frame of the open door in front of her.

Busted

I understand this is a clop fic, but the pacing of the pre-clop parts seemed rushed. It lacks foreplay, in the literary sense.

"Come on in, Daring." "Thanks, Dash. Now let's have the sex." They have the sex, suddenly Twilight. "Oh sorry I didn't mean to." "Is okay, let's have the sex." Then the three of them have the sex. The ends.

Maybe I'm just picky, but I felt that the sexy bits came on too quickly, and it made them feel unnatural and even forced. There was hardly any flirting, let alone romance. So the intro bits seemed very rushed and really took me out of the story.

Clop bits were really well written, though.

DaringDash. Second best pairing after AppleDash.

Anal , tit play and cum-play...

Man you got it all!!!

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