Male Favorite Pony: Fluttershy Favorite Villain: Discord
Rainbow loves all her friends, but when they all want to be with her romantically she must find a way to cope with her feelings and choose which of her friends to be with, but a crazy idea that just might work may let all her friends be with her.
This is my first fanfic story so I hope you all like it, and feel free to comment on what I should do better.
Page generated in 0.068 seconds
Total duration
923 users online
488,405 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
That awkward moment when you realize that the entire description is one sentence...
This is not a good first sentence. This is not a good sentence. Actually, this isn't even a sentence. This is at least three sentences put together.
No, that's not what you say. You can apologize for shortness but not length.
One author has even made 30k word chapters.
Just.
No.
Other errors:
-Incorrect capitalization
-Missing punctuation
-Poor sentence construction
-Quite a bit of "Telling"
To name a few.
Altogether not a bad first attempt, but you need some grammatical help. Try looking for an editor to help you.
i like it
Thanks i'm working on fixing all the errors. Yeah, I desperately need a editor.
I'm glad to hear that you like it.
3596648...
1. The point-outs about technical writing errors (spelling, grammar, structure, etc.) has already been covered, so I will not add to it further to it, other than to agree with NightWolf289 that you should find yourself an editor &/or proofreader(s) (ideally you want both).
2. On the Chapter 1 Author's Note...
Never apologize for having long word-count chapters. Never.
If anything, long chapters are a positive sign, it generally shows the Author is putting in the time + effort to writing out the story, giving the readers something to invest their time in. Conversely, overly short chapters (barely 1000 words, or less) are often a warning sign that the Author just put a bowl of cold gruel & tap-water on the table expecting the reader audience to think it is eggs, ham, toast, & orange juice.
So do not ever feel afraid or guilty at writing out a hale & hearty word-count chapter (5000+ words per chapter is closer to be "long", by the way). In this way, it also acts as a buffer to you the Author; people may not particularly "like" what you had written, but they will generally respect the effort that you clearly put into it.
Hope this helps.
3596160
no kidding
even though i haven't actually read the story yet, the description makes the story seem interesting (i added the fic to my "read it later" list)
Eventhough it he’s terrible writing, overall it sounds like a good story, I think I’ll add this to my tracking