Chapter 15: Reconciliations
All was confusion and darkness.
Luna became aware of her existence. At first she had not much more than the bare fact of her identity. Then that she was alive. This fact was surprising to her, but she couldn't remember why.
Her head hurt. Her body hurt. She was bathed in a sort of pins-and-needles pain, as if everything had gone to sleep, as if her heart had stopped for a time, and she was being roughly returned to life.
She wondered if that was exactly what had happened.
Sensory channels slowly returned. Her eyes were closed, but through them and from all over her skin she could tell that she was bathed in light. Warm, golden sunlight. This was both comforting and terrifying, emotions she felt but the reasons for which she could not recall.
She began to hear a voice, powerful and gentle..
"... Now if only another will as well."
It sounded very familiar. The associations were confusing ... both love and fear, strangely combined.
"Princess Luna!" the voice said. It had just a hint of anger.
Luna quivered, opened her eyes, gasped, and trembled, as she fully realized who she was, and who was addressing her. She turned toward her sister, raised her head.
Celestia seemed impossibly tall, impossibly beautiful, like the Sun rising above the horizon as she stepped toward her. She filled Luna's entire world.
Luna struggled to rise, but her body was as weak as a newborn foal's. She was helpless: she knew that Celestia could kill her. Anypony could kill her. And she'd given them ample reasons to do so. She deserved death.
"It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this," continued Celestia. Her face was stern, looking down on Luna from a great height.
Am I about to die? Luna wondered. Maybe I should. I've done terrible things. She stopped struggling.
Celestia almost touched her. Luna cringed, eyes closed in fear and shame.
"Time to put our differences behind us," Celestia said, kneeling down next to her, deliberately reducing her advantage of height as her voice becoming gentler.
Luna looked up in amazement. She can't be saying what she seems to be saying -- can she? Offering forgiveness?
Do I merit forgiveness? Luna wondered, looking aside in shame. I rebelled against her. Wrecked our castle. Tried to kill her. Yes, the Shadow possessed me, but I invited the Shadow. I chose to become the Nightmare. I am not a good pony.
"We were meant to rule together, little sister," said Celestia. The glow and scent of her rainbow-hued mane flickered around Luna, a warm and comforting presence.
Luna's eyes widened. She can't mean that! She can't possibly still trust me, after all I've done! Can she?
"Sister?!" gasped the champions.
Until now Luna had not even noticed that they remained in the room. I can see why they find it hard to believe, she thought.
Then Celestia stood up again, and said something that really surprised Luna.
"Will you accept my friendship?"
Luna looked away again in shame. She still ... cares for me? After all this? She wants me again, not only as sister, as ally, security for her power, but as her ... friend? No ... it can't be possible ... I don't deserve ... She lowered her head, eyes shut, ears down, withdrawing from everything, trying to make sense of it all.
She remembered her sister looking up to the Moon with longing, singing to her. She remembered those few brief moments of warmth, of contact, of sanity in a cold and lonely millennium of madness.
She remembered the many centuries before she had become the Nightmare, spent at her sister's side, growing up together at Paradise Estate, wandering the world with her during Discord's dominion, fighting together against all evils, overthrowing Discord, establishing Equestria ...
She remembered loving her sister. And her sister loving her. Always loving each other.
Maybe she remembers all this as well. Maybe it means as much to her as it does to me.
Her heart and mind overflowed with the answer. The only possible answer.
"I'm so sorry!" Luna cried, leaping up and running over to Celestia, stretching up to rub her head against Celestia's broad breast. Tears ran down her face. "I've missed you so much, big sister!"
"I've missed you too," said Celestia, in a tone that those who did not know her well would have thought merely polite. She rubbed her check across the top of Luna's head.
Luna, who knew her elder sister very well indeed, was not entirely surprised when she felt moisture fall upon her head from above.
She really did miss me! she thought happily. She still loves me!
I don't deserve this, but I am still glad of it.
Behind Celestia, Pinkie burst out into her own tears at this sight. "Hey," she said. "You know what this calls for?"
Luna looked at her, wondering what strange and arcane ritual the reality warper would now attempt to perform, and if -- in her current state of weakness -- she would be able to survive.
***
The "Welcome Back Princess Luna" party that Pinkie Pie threw back at Ponyville later that day was really not all that arcane a ritual, though she found it amazing that the little pink earth pony was able to bedeck the entire town in ribbons and streamers in just an hour or two. Celestia had taken Luna back to the Palace of Canterlot by Day Guard pegasi-drawn carriage to clean up and rest, dropping five of the champions off at Ponyville while taking Twilight Sparkle back to Canterlot with them.
Luna no longer felt half-dead, though she was a bit shocked to realize just how badly she had been depleted by the combination of that internal struggle and the Rainbow's cleansing. Her physical form had shrunk to that of a little filly; even after resting, she was only slightly larger than a normal mare, and looked as if she were in early adolescence. She was pale by her standards -- a purplish hue -- and her mane was an only slightly spectral blue, and entirely bereft of its normal stars.
Her memories of being Nightmare Moon were confusing and frightening ones. She knew that she had called upon something terrible, that it had possessed her, that she had fought her sister, lost and been banished to the Moon. She remembered stray moments from her exile: being angry and hungry and insane, but not the details of these. There were images of the old landing site, of a few other places. She distinctly recalled her sister singing to her.
She knew she had been tormented by Shadows, but the specifics of these creatures were hard to bring to mind. She had a memory of their malice, and her inability to escape them. She could not remember what they truly were, or where they came from, if she had ever truly known these things. Such information had not been in the lore that Sombra had taught her well over a thousand years ago. She supposed that more Shadows must still be roaming her Moon, a thought which disturbed her greatly.
She remembered most of the details of the fight against Celestia's champions. She knew now that Nightmare Moon had wanted to kill them, and would have done so had not there been enough of Luna inside there to hold back the monster from its full malignity. She well recalled the capabilities of those champions, and in particular the anomaly that was Pinkie Pie. She remembered who Rainbow Dash really was.
And she did not forget Dusk, and who he was now. She knew that she could never forget Dusk, not if she lived a thousand more lives to come.
She only dimly remembered the rest of that final fight, though. She supposed that her short-term memory had been badly-affected by the shock of the Rainbow. She counted herself lucky that she still had a sane mind left at all. We Alicorns are tough. She knew that any lesser being would have been dead, or utterly mad, after such an experience.
Still, there were things she wished she could better remember. She knew that at the end she had broken free of the Shadow's control, that she had fought a desperate battle with it in the confines of her own brain, with neither retreat nor quarter possible on either side. She could well remember -- unfortunately -- that horrible moment when the Shadow had tried to rape her very soul, and still shuddered when she thought about it. She supposed that would be bothering her for a very long time to come. She deeply hated the Shadows.
But she wished she could remember the specific things the Shadow had told her. She knew that it had boasted of its power, gloated of its triumph -- and in the process had doubtless revealed much of its nature, purpose, and capabilities.
If only she could remember just what it had said! Intelligence was a force multiplier in any war, and she knew that this was not the first time, and feared that it would be far from the last time, that she would have to fight the Shadows. Her knowledge could save lives, save Equestria -- and it was locked away where she could not reach it.
She'd explained this to Celestia, and her elder sister had simply soothed her, told her not to worry too much about it, that the memories would come back to her in time, if she still had them.
As they rolled to a stop at the center of town, Twilight Sparkle hopped off from the carriage. Her little purple dragon -- Spike, as Celestia had told Luna -- ran up to her and leaped up to wrap his arms around her neck in a loving embrace.
Hatched a dragon egg by magic, Luna thought. Raised him as her little brother. Is there anything this new Dusk can't do? Does she even know how impossible this is supposed to be?
She wished she could talk to him -- her -- about this, about so many things. But that, of course, seemed even more impossible right now than was hatching and rasing a baby dragon.
How can I even let her know? she thought sadly. 'Greetings! We were married in a past life! Would you like to go walking on the green with me?' She'd think me mad, bad, and dangerous to know. She'd run and hide!
And what do I really want from her, anyway? Friendship? But how can I be her friend, and keep such a secret from her? I know I've done some bad things, but I was Honesty. I can't long keep up a false front -- and certainly not with Dusk -- or whoever he's become.
Carnal love? That would be a -- well, fruitless endeavor. She could not bring herself to laugh, even inwardly, at the pun. It would be strange. Would she accept that? She seems something of a sheltered maiden, despite her courage.
Would I want it? She did not know. Suddenly she remembered something, a taunt the Shadow had made about her love being a "misdirected reproductive urge," and she sadly wondered if, regarding this one matter, the monster had been right.
Celestia and Luna debarked more sedately, after the carriage had come to a full stop. The other five champions -- the new Element Bearers -- bowed to both of them. Luna smiled to see their calm respect, and even more so because it seemed that they bore her no ill-will for the Nightmare's actions. I nearly killed all of you, she thought. And you don't hate me?
They clearly had nobility enough of spirit for any champions in any age.
She was even more surprised when two little pegasus fillies flitted over and draped a rose wreath over her neck. Even the little ones don't fear me any more? she thought. This is good. Red and white roses, alternating -- for myself and Celestia. Symbolizing our reconciliation. That's nice.
She looked toward her sister, then past her to Twilight Sparkle. I can't keep my eyes off her, she scolded herself. Keep this up and I might as well be proclaiming my obsession on an embroidered tabard! Then she noticed something. She seems -- sad?
Celestia followed her gaze. She walked over to Twilight.
"Why so glum, my faithful student?" Celestia asked her. Her voice bore a studied innocence with which Luna was well familiar. "Are you not happy that your quest is complete, and you can return to your studies at Canterlot?"
She's going to manipulate you, Luna thought, with some resignation. Might as well let her do it, Dusk. Her games generally turn out well, at least for ponies she likes. Anyway, she's hard to resist. Trust me on this one.
Twilight hung her head sadly.
"That's just it," the young mage said. "Just when I learn how wonderful it is to have friends, I have to leave them."
Oh no, thought Luna. You won't be leaving them. You really don't fully understand how the Elements work yet, do you? You'll find out! She supposed that Celestia would summon the other five to attend her apprentice at Canterlot.
"Spike, take a note please," ordered Celestia, with the tone in her voice that Luna well knew meant Heh, I just got exactly what I wanted!
The little dragon produced a parchment and quill, and prepared to write.
"'I, Princess Celestia," she dictated, "hereby decree, that the unicorn, Twilight Sparkle --" she raised a hoof portentuously, getting into her own oratory, "-- shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must continue to study the magic of friendship; she must report to me her findings; from her new home in Ponyville!"
Twilight looked ecstatic as the other five huddled around her, rubbing against her, congratulating her on what they considered their mutual good fortune.
"Thank you, Princess Celestia!" Twilight said happily. "I'll study harder than ever before!
The town cheered. Flags were waved. Confetti and streamers drifted past. Clearly, Twilight had in a short time made herself quite popular here.
And Luna thought:
She's stationed you here to command this post. And ordered you to report everything that happens here.
Why? She could watch you far more easily from Canterlot.
She wants you to get some experience at leadership, without making it too obvious what she's doing. She's grooming you for something.
But why here? she wondered. It's not all that big a town, nor is it centrally-located.
It's between Canterlot and the Everfree Forest, Luna realized. And right on the main road to the southwest.
The Everfree. Our old castle. The Tree of Harmony. Paradise Estate. The Nexus. There's a lot that could happen in there.
She expects trouble out of the Everfree. She's put you here as a picket. As her first line of defense.
And made you like the idea!
Luna looked at her sister, then toward the old castle, ears forward, expression inquiring.
Celestia imperceptibly nodded.
What, sister? What do you fear? What is your deeper purpose?
She knew better than to expect a straight answer here and now.
***
The rest of the party was merry enough, but tiring. Luna was overwhelmed by the light, the color, the life after a thousand years with only Shadows for company.
The ponies of the town were nice and friendly enough -- though some seemed a little cautious of herself, something for which Luna could not find it in her heart to blame them. There was a kindness and joy about them that touched her heart.
They seem so happy, she thought. So innocent. Yet they live on the edge of a haunted forest -- their lives can't possibly be free of all cares.
She remembered the Age of Wonders, how happy ponies had been, peaceful and prosperous, before their world had died and they had been cast back into Iron Age barbarism.
But no -- there's something different about these ponies. In the Age of Wonders many were greedy, selfish, corrupt -- even cruel. There is a genuine kindness here that I have rarely known.
Could it be that all my sister's plans have worked? That she has created not merely a rich and technologically-advanced kingdom, but one with fundamentally-better moral character than existed before? As she saw these ponies, the last vestiges of her belief that Celestia meant evil evaporated as the Shadow had under the Rainbow. Only a wise and good Alicorn could have made a world like this, she realized. For all her tricky ways, my sister is a very good pony.
She knew that she herself would not have done so well alone, even without the Nightmare.
With the Nightmare, Luna supposed that at best she would have made Tartarus on Earth.
At worst, she would have murdered them all.
***
After the party, Celestia took her back to Canterlot.
Luna had so much she wanted to say to her sister, but she was too tired for most of it.
"You know who Twilight is ...?" she started to say, at one point.
"Yes," Celestia replied slowly, softly. "I hope that .... " She paused, then said more briskly. "I know whom they all are. And were."
"Even Pinkie ..."
"Especially Pinkie," Celestia said with a big smile. "Remember, I knew her in that world, as well."
"You don't fear ...?"
"No," said Celestia firmly. "I trust her completely. And Pinkamena Diane Pie has a good heart. Trust me on this."
And that was that.
Her chambers were well-appointed, as befitted one of the two Ruling Princesses. She quickly bathed again, then sank gratefully onto the well-stuffed mattress and silken sheets.
She was asleep almost before her head hit the pillows.
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This has been an incredible ride. I've loved every moment!
I so love this chapter with Luna's tale on everything. And especially this line!
She'd think me mad, bad, and dangerous to know.
Heh, Luna as Byronic heroine? Though the famed lines from that poem certainly can apply to both her and Nightmare Moon: She walks in beauty, like the night/of starless climes and sunless skies...
I did a quick Google search for antonyms for "manipulative." One of the top responses was "foolish."
Heh.
Others included "honest," "naive," "open" and "artless."
Interacting with someone involves changing them. If you have a big enough goal, and can see far enough to know how to reach it, then any informed interaction you make will involve a choice between how much you benefit others, and how much you achieve your own goals. Of course, if your goal is to their benefit...
You know that comment about manipulative and good not being opposite is the first thing you've written that I disagree with.
I despise Dumbledore for the way he acted.
The Arisians on the other hand were part of their own manipulations, their Visualisation of the Cosmic All included themselves, and by it's very nature forced them to act in certain ways to elicit certain reaction and achieve a desired outcome. Also, where they could, they explained themselves.
Dumbledore on the other hand could have chosen a thousand more productive strategies, but instead he set up the Potters death to create the 'hero' of theprophecy, and had the Longbottoms as a back-up, did nothing to interfere with Sirius going to the dogs, or at least Askaban, so he wouldn't be around to complain, and put a baby in the worst possible environment to learn love, the so callled power that Voldemert knew not and that Harry therefore needed to understand. Not to mention that his screw-ups were responsible for Voldemort in the first place.
But that's neither here nor there. This story has to be the best retelling on the Mare in the Moon I've ever read. You make all the plot holes, all the Fridge Logic niggles I had make sense. And it's part of a larger story of epic scope. I salute you.
3704672
IIRC, that was originally said by someone later became Byron's lover, and after he dumped her, more or less his stalker.
It is well-written, but suffers some of the same issues as the Lensman series.
Or maybe that is just the Nightmare speaking.
Ah yes, benevolent chessmaster Celestia is my favorite interpretation of her character.
Chaos. Shadow. Magic-draining centaur.
Along with some she doesn't even know; love-draining shapeshifters. Cutie mark-stealers. Time travellers. Vines. Theft of the Element of Magic. The dimensional barrier being breached and destroyed.
SHOOKETH
Seriously though, I’m shook.