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Applejack and Twilight have a heart-to-heart after Winter Wrap-Up.
A huge thank you to Bookish Delight for prereading this for me. You were an incredible help and clearly have the patience of Celestia herself considering what a mess this was before you gave it a look.
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Heartwarming is indeed a good way to go about it. It's a good story, nice concept and executed well. AJ's accent, despite being so overly present, doesn't distract from anything, which is tricky to do. From a technical perspective, there's a few occasions where an extra comma wouldn't hurt, but it's not a gamebreaker for this story. The only real error I found was: "To poines there it's just another day".
Some of the dialogue also feels a bit unnatural, but that might just be me reading it too quickly. Get a second opinion on that one. All in all, the story's heavy on tell and exposition, which is definitely not a bad thing when done well. (Not that my own stories tend to be heavy on exposition ) The real trick is adding enough emotion and weight to the revelations so the reader is willing to go along with it. While that is the case for the explaining part, I think some of the dialogue afterwards might be a bit offputting. Then again, this is early in Twilight's stay in Ponyville, so there's definitely some leeway there.
Yeah, enjoyed it.
explaining
Second paragraph.
Other than that, cute little story. I always like the episode-based ones.
I think there should be a Winter Wrap Up fic where Spike is near death thanks to the prank (Dragons are cold blooded... and icy waters are hazardous to their health)...
Short and sweet.
The characters acted the way they should and it felt like a fitting continuation of the episode it's based on.
There wasn't any off the wall plot that doesn't fit which is what you'd usually see with fics based around a single episode, this more feels somewhat like something that could actually have happened on screen if the episode was a few minutes longer.
Have a thumb up.
Have you ever wonder why Twiight's friends weren't shocked the fact that she has a brother?
I have been toying with the idea of writing a fic around this issue for ages. Of course, I'm lazy so I doubt I will anytime soon (I still am glad this wasn't quite like the direction I planned to take it though). But its nice to see someone else thinking that that was a bit harsh.
Well you got that right, it's definitely a heartwarming story. And it does solve the inconsistency between winter wrap up and family appreciation day. Plus it's a nice bit of backstory.
...oh wow, I can actually read this now. Thanks for cleaning this up! Now everyone can see its joy, love, and other cliche super-happy feelings that I know I can't get enough of.
PROTIP: Get a cover. Screencap WWU or something. Once you do, I'll take care of the rest~
The main thing I liked about it was that this story cleared up the continuity error of how long Ponyville was around for.
A good read short, simple and to the point.
3587053
Cold blooded creatures lack internal mechanism to both raise and lower their body temperature. If dragons were actually cold blooded, Spike would have died from jumping in the lava pool.
I'm all for stories that expand on headcanons like this one, and actually, this makes a lot of sense. You managed to tie it in with Family Appreciation Day quite nicely (as well as tie up other loose ends), and both Twi and AJ sounded very much in-character. Applejack's suggestion to abandon the tradition is a bit odd seeing how stubborn she usually is, but in this circumstance, I can buy it. I accept this headcanon into my own, and for that, I salute you.
This was great!
It's a nice epilog to winter wrap up
3587962 Well it was all thanks to your notes and suggestions. Took me a while to get things just right but it's so much better than it was.
I've been looking for a pic to use as a cover for a while, and for some reason my computer can't screen cap. I was hoping to use the image of AJ and Twilight bumping hooves near the end of the episode but I can't find a cap of it anywhere. I'll keep looking though, thanks. ;)
Edit: nevermind. Friend of mine walked me through it. How's that look?
3590863
Pfft. Is that all? Could've just told me.
This is PERFECT! This is exactly what needed to happen in the episode. It was the one thing that really bugged me about it was that AJ never apologised for how she went off at Twi. Also the ammount of time that Ponyville existed thing bugged me too, you hit two problems at once, BRILLIANT! You have no idea how happy this makes me.
I loved this. Both Applejack and Twilight felt in-character to me. While Applejack can be stubborn, she's not unreasonable and can actually be quite sweet, and Twilight is really nice and does have the tendency to blame herself even if she's not at fault. I don't really blame Applejack for getting mad. I love Twilight, she's my favorite character, but part of that is acknowledging her faults, and I acknowledge Applejack DID have reason to be annoyed. Still, having Applejack apologize isn't out of character, as it shows she's thinking about how Twilight feels, and I do think she's the one among the Mane Six who has done the best job at actually being a friend to Twilight.
So yes, you kept them in character, addressed some notable inconsistencies, and truly heartwarming to boot! Yes, this deserves a favorite
I think you made the right choice
While there are times the characters deserved to be chewed out, I do prefer they actually work things out and make amends given what the show is supposed to be about.
I'm glad you didn't, it would have been out of character for Twilight, and it would have been hypocrisy on Spike's part, considering HE'S the one who goaded Twilight into using magic, and then forced her to take the blame.
Before the event
Spike: Right, because there's no magic. Why don't you just use magic, Twilight, and get it done the right way?
Twilight Sparkle: No, Spike, I have to do it the traditional way. Ponyville has never needed magic to wrap up winter.
Spike: Well, they never had you here before, either. Think how much quicker they could wrap up winter with your magic.
During the event
Spike: That's my girl, following my advice.
Applejack: And what in tarnation does that mean?
After the event
Applejack: Nuts, Twilight, you used magic.
Spike: The nerve. Can you believe her?
So that's why magic isn't allowed. Great explanation as well, it didn't feel as forced as another fic that I read.
It's already been said, but I'll say it again.
This is a perfect wrap-up to the Winter Wrap-Up episode.
AJ's harsh treatment of Twilight seemed out of character, but necessary to the plot. How else do you get Twilight to give up trying and sulk? Also, your explanation to the Ponyville's slavish adherence to "No Magic" is a wonderful example of, 'we've always done it that way' getting out of hand.
Excellent.
I love these types of fics~
They give a nice after story and usually dole out info that makes me go all "Oh, yeah, that did happen, didn't it?"
I think you definitely made the right choice with the more heartwarming approach. In all honesty, fanfics lose me quickly when they address issues the author had with the show in a way that is completely against the spirit intended. I admire stories that make an episode work more smoothly by adding to them, however.
Spike should have been called out, not Applejack.
This is now headcanon in my book. Congrats, an awesome fic
Now this is absolutely perfect. Great work on this fic.
A smart bastard you are. I never thought of it like that how they weren't following rules, but blindly following tradition. Keep it up ese, you've got talent that well surpasses a lot of other writers I've seen on this site, including my own.
I love this. There's a couple episodes I feel like had loose ends that needed to be tied up: this and Dragonshy, both, interestingly enough, concerning ponies never seen apologizing for their actions.
I believe a heartwarming approach is the way to do it. I hate it when people try to respond to a fight with more fighting. It just makes me feel even more bitter about the whole thing.
You really nailed the season one characterizations.
I'm really glad you went with this version of the fic. I probably would have hated the original idea-- even if I felt bad for Twilight, that's no excuse to try to sneak around and ignore something other ponies have requested. There are two sides to every story, and by letting the two most reasonable ponies be reasonable about it, you wrote a sweet fic that reinforces the value of seeing others point of view.
Thank you for taking the time to do that yourself.
5348852 Thank you for such a nice comment. And that was pretty much the idea. We could clearly see in the episode Applejack was upset when Twilight ran off so just spewing my anger out didn't seem right. So, I wanted to come up with a good reason behind the no magic tradition that wasn't just "earth ponies were here first." Judging by some of the reactions I think I accomplished that. Thanks again.
nice recon of Ponyville's true age and the no magic issue.
This was the perfect fanfic to read at the end of a long winter.
This scene feels like it could have been part of the actual episode if the writers had more time. I love how you made Ponyville's history fit "Family Appreciation Day" - the last half of that episode remains one of my favorite moments in the entire series. And I'm really glad that you decided to go with the heartwarming route; it shows that you put actual thought and effort into it instead of just a ranting "author mouthpiece" fic. Applejack was abrasive at times, especially in the earlier seasons, but she also usually apologized without much prompting, and in S3 and S4 she's shown a lot more sensitivity towards others' feelings.
(And as others have mentioned, Spike's as much to blame as AJ in "Winter Wrap Up", but I guess he has the excuse of being younger.)
This was a great FIC. It certainly serves as a way to bring some form of reconciliation between AJ and Twi on the matter. This was well executed and I have no complaints. I give this my David Crespo stamp of approval.
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This was a sweet story, and more world building is always good.
6648471 Thank you very much. I'm happy that you think so
This is like a delete scene
Lovely bit of friendshipping. Still as good as I remember it. I love how AJ explained to poor Twi that she wasn't in trouble. I could see Twi panicking about that.
In my opinion going for the heartwarming approach was the right choice!
A fantastic little story to address something I don't think gets a lot of addressing.