Twilight Sparkle
"What would you do with a drunken sailor? What would you do with a drunken sailor? What would you do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning?" The pirates sang their shanty, drinking mugs of rum and making merry. Meanwhile: Discord, Pinkie, Derpy, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were all tied to the mast of their ship with their hooves off the ground.
Derpy sighed and said, "I'm really sorry I got you all involved in this chaos. I just wasn't prepared I suppose."
"And who could possibly prepare for chaos?" Discord said in a sing song tone. "The best part about chaos is it's unpredictable! Besides, at least we're not Celestia."
The alicorn princess was tied to the bow of the ship like a figurehead with a rather annoyed look on her face. "This is the most humiliating situation I've been in my entire life."
Discord rolled his eyes. "Must you always be so negative Celestia. Look at the brighter side of things! For example, at least we get to listen to a good pirate shanty before we die. And they might even feed you if they like having you as a hood ornament!"
"You're not helping!" Celestia snapped.
Pinkie glared out of the corner of her eye at Discord and said, "I'm still stuck on you not telling me about your relationship with Celestia."
"Do we really have to start the chapter with drama and a backstory? The readers wanna laugh." Noticing her persisting glare, Discord sighed and admitted defeat. "Me and Celestia were an item, yes. We had Derpy, or Ditzy, a thousand years ago. The only reason why you got to grow up with her is because she randomly regresses her age to grow up all over again. I think she has reason in it but she doesn't tell me." Derpy just stuck out her tongue looking silly. "Me and Celestia broke up when I attempted to spite her..." He trailed off for a moment, looking towards the bow of the ship.
Celestia looked over her shoulder and said, "Don't look at me Discord. You started the story and you can finish it."
"FINE! Cake bottomed harpy."
"What did you just call me?!"
"The idol of little girls everywhere! Now where was I? Oh yes! I was mad at Celestia for never taking the time for our child, so I had another one, and it wasn't with her... It was with Luna." Everyone around him gasped, and the pirates paused in their singing. "Why are you gasping, Derpy? You knew!"
Derpy stuck out her tongue again as her brow furrowed in thought. "Oh yeah! I remember now! Cousin-"
"Moving on!" Discord interrupted. "As you know Celestia is currently with a stallion who bore her Scootaloo." The young filly grinned big hearing her name. "But you know, after Derpy and before Scootaloo, Celestia had another daughter."
With a loud gasp Celestia cried out, "No! Back story is over now!"
The pirate captain Rainbow Dash held her sword to Celestia's neck shushing her. "Silence cake butt! This is getting interesting."
"Why does everypony keep calling me that?!"
Discord continued, "She had a relationship with a member of her royal guard. Unfortunately, he passed during a battle with an invading country. Even so the seeds of a child were planted within her! When the filly was born, she feared what happened with Derpy would repeat itself, and she had close trusted friends adopt and raise that pony as if she were their own." He yanked one of his arms free of the ropes, and trailed his pointing paw-finger along the pirate crew. "And that pony is... Twilight Sparkle!"
Everypony stared at the pirate Twilight, while Derpy added a, "Dun Dun Duuuun!"
Celestia sighed and said, "Yes, Twilight Sparkle is my daughter. That's part of the reason I took her on as my student. So that I could have an excuse to look after her and help her grow, even if she never knew the truth."
Pirate Dash wrapped a hoof around her Twilight and said, "How do you like that Bookworm? You're royalty! Suppose this makes you princess of the seas around here."
"Speaking of which," Apple Bloom finally spoke up. "What is your deals anyways? I mean, I get that y'all are pirates, but what about them?"
When Apple Bloom pointed to the two extra Rainbow Dash's they gave each other a quick glance before the short haired grungy one stepped forward. "I've had a rough life and it molded me into a punk. I don't care what anypony thinks of me anyways. I don't answer to nopony!"
Sweetie Belle chimed in innocently, "Then what's with the Fluttershy collar?"
The question made the rough Dash blush. "I-It's nothing! I can just take it off!"
As soon as she started to remove it, a rather angry looking Fluttershy burst from the supposed captain quarters of the ship. "Dash you put that collar back on right this minute young lady!"
"Yes mam!" she yelped as she quickly refastened it.
Scootaloo looked at the stitched up Dash and asked bluntly, "What about you, Zombie?"
The rather pale Rainbow Dash chuckled and said, "Let's just say I'm a zombie, kid."
"Enough chit chat," Cpt. Dash stated. "These land lubbers ain't got no booty, so let's make em walk the plank!"
Discord gulped and said, "Wait, we've got plenty of booty! If Celestia's isn't enough, I know Pinkie has plenty! All that tutti-fruity goes straight to her booty!"
"HEY!" Pinkie protested with a huge blush. Then she got an idea and said, "Wait! If you make us walk the plank, then we won't get to hear the story!"
The pirates looked amongst themselves before their captain asked, "What story?"
The mischievous pink pony giggled at how she had got them intrigued. "Why, the story of when Discord first babysat Twilight!"
"A story about the Bookworm of your dimension as a child?" Pirate Dash looked to pirate Twilight and got a goofy grin. "You've sparked my intrigue with your promise of adorableness and humor. Okay Discord, tell your story!"
Discord looked to Pinkie, who had a smug grin. "This is payback for not telling you about my past relations isn't it? Well if it delays the inevitable and gets the story in a more humorous direction I'm not one to complain! It all started when Princess Cadence suddenly vanished..."
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"What do you mean you can't find Twilight's usual foalsitter?!" Celestia was glowering over the unfortunate guard who had the privilege of delivering this news to her. "Are you telling me both Shining Armor 'and' Cadence are both missing?"
The poor guard gulped and nodded. "Yes mam! All we found was a note stating they were going on a... picnic."
Celestia face-hoofed and said, "Oh you got to be kidding me. I have very important business to attend to! Where am I going to find a responsible foalsitter on such short notice?"
"I'll do it!"
Celestia looked behind her to see Discord, throwing out some jazz hands with a big grin. "I repeat, where am I going to find a 'responsible' foalsitter?"
"But I am responsblablah!"
"You can't even SAY responsible! I will not trust you!" Celestia trotted off and found a phone book on a table with a potted plant by it. She flipped through the book with her magic. "There's got to be somepony I can contact that can respond immediately."
Discord's face burst from between the pages shocking her with a yelp. "I can do it!"
She slammed the book shut and stated, "No, Discord!"
His head emerged from the nearby potted plant. "But I can do it!"
Annoyed, Celestia smashed the potted plant with the phone book and stomped off. "Isn't there anypony else I can ask?!"
A spotlight shined down on her from above. Discord floated down in a white gown, playing a harp as he sang, "Celestiaaa, I can do iiit."
Celestia glared at him for a moment before clapping her hooves to make the light turn off. "Fine Discord! Give me a good enough reason aside from me being pressed for time to trust you with babysitting Twilight Sparkle."
Discord tossed off the gown and tossed the harp behind him. "Considering I'm a babysitter, I have FIVE reasons!" He reached behind his back, and took out five little fillies. "Celestia, I want you to meet all the girls I'm 'already' babysitting today. If you let me babysit Twilight here in the castle, then not only will I have plenty of space to look after them all, but it could help Twilight make some friends outside of all her books!"
The Alicorn princess looked at all the fillies surprised, and then to Discord. "You know, that's not a bad idea. Just because I don't like you, doesn't make you any less of a good babysitter, and Twilight really needs some friends." She bit her lower lip, beginning to sweat, and sighed in defeat. "You win Discord, you can babysit Twilight. Just remember, if anything bad happens to her, or my palace, I hold you responsible!" Celestia looked behind herself and whispered, "Come on out, Twilight. It's okay."
The small filly Twilight peeked out from behind Celestia's leg with a curious expression. "That's not Cadence."
"No it's not. I'm sorry Twilight, but Cadence isn't available today, so Discord will be looking after you. Don't worry, he's not as scary as he looks." She watched Twilight crawl over and stare up at Discord in awe. "You be good now."
Discord smiled and said, "I'm sure Twilight will be a little angel."
"I wasn't talking to her." Celestia shot Discord another glance. As soon as she turned to leave, he began making faces at her.
Once Celestia was gone, Discord set down all five fillies he had with him. "Girls, why don't you introduce yourselves to Twilight?"
One of the fillies wearing a cowboy hat dashed over immediately and began shaking Twilight's hoof so hard, she shook Twilight with it. "Well howdy there, sugar cube! My name's Applejack!"
The next filly was a pegasus with a rainbow mane who pulled Twilight free of Applejack's handshake. "Sorry, she doesn't know her own strength. My name's Rainbow Dash!"
Rainbow Dash set her down on the ground in front of another filly who was a unicorn like Twilight. "My name is Rarity darling! And I must say, I love the highlights in your hair Twilight!"
The next two came over, the pegasus being pushed by her pink friend. The pink pony peeked around her nervous looking friend and said, "My name's Pinkie Pie!" She got back behind the shy filly she was with and began to open and close her mouth for her. "My name is Fluttershy, and I want to be your bestest friend. I also keep my collection of chewed bubblegum in my hair."
Fluttershy squeaked and broke free of Pinkie. "I don't have a collection of chewed bubblegum! Pinkie, that was mean!"
Pinkie giggled and said, "It got you talking, didn't it?"
The shy pegasus blushed and looked at Twilight with a soft, "H-Hi."
Twilight shuffled her hooves shyly and said, "My name is Twilight Sparkle. Nice to meetcha."
"And I'm Discord!" Everyone looked up to their babysitter quietly, making his grin turn into a frown. "What? Don't I get to introduce myself too?" The six girls giggled a little. "There we go! Now that cake butt is gone, why don't we all have a party!"
All the girls cheered, except Twilight who stated, "But Discord, Celestia wouldn't want us having a party! We'll make a mess!"
"Nonsense Twilight," Discord said patting her head. "I'm responsibacabra, and as such, I know how to have a party without making a huge mess of things. I'll summon the party god! He'll help us have a wonderful party!" Discord's eyes glowed with magic power as he waved his hands in the air. A powerful wind started to blow, and storm clouds grew above. The six girls huddled together worriedly, as a portal opened in the storm clouds, letting what looked like a large green monkey fall forth from it. It landed on its feet with a big yawn as everything seemed to clear up. "Tada! I'd like you all to meet the party god!"
The green monkey looked between Discord and the little filly's, and got a mischievous grin on his face. He took out a big pink frosted cake on a plate, making all the girls gasp and smile. Then he turned it upside down and let it drop and splat on the girls, burying them in cake. Before Discord could react, it took out a bottle of seltzer and sprayed Discord with a blast of water so hard he hit a nearby wall. Then it began to ook hysterically before running off, bouncing off walls and throwing anything he came across to the floor.
Pinkie Pie emerged from the cake and gulped it all down, licking her friends clean who looked a little disgusted. "Discord!" Twilight ran over to her babysitter, the other five girls rushing after her. He was stumbling about rubbing his head. "Discord, are you okay?"
"And now, introducing our next guest... the floor." Discord face planted into the ground.
Twilight rushed around to his front and flared into his swirling eyes. "You said you were responsibacabra! You said you know how to have a party without making a mess of things!"
The god of chaos blinked away his dizzy state. "Well, to be fair, I do. Sadly, I don't believe the party god does."
"Ya think!" Twilight wined and began to pace. "What am I going to do? Celestia might get mad and punish me with grounding, or extra homework! Or a spanking!"
"Celestia isn't the punishing type. She's more of a scolding type."
"That's even worse!"
"How is that worse?" Discord grabbed the purple pony to keep her from pacing. "Besides, if she's gonna be mad at anyone, it's me. I'm suppose to be responsibongo for you fillies." He rubbed his chin with his freehand, and a light bulb appeared above his head. "I know! This can be an activity! Lets all work together to hunt down and capture the party god! And when we do, we can send him back from where he came!" He then grabbed the lightbulb above his had and took a bite out of it. "Mmm, that's a good idea. Now everypony, let's go after that monkey!"
He set Twilight back on the ground, who rushed off down the hall, following the trail of destruction as all the others followed. They came to a series of halls, all with destruction down them. "Looks like we'll have to split up!" Discord split into a deer, a goat, a serpentine dragon, a lion, a eagle, a pegasus pony, and a bat pony. "That's not what I meant."
"My way is more productive," all his separate parts chimed at once before pulling themselves together. "Okay girls, we'll split up, but be safe! If you see the party god, just scream out 'MONKEY MONKEY MONKEY!' You got that?" All the girls manes were windswept and their eyes wide and beady. "Good. Now let's roll!"
As he flew down one hall, Rainbow Dash and Rarity rushed after him. Pinkie and Applejack ran down another hall, and Twilight and Fluttershy the last one which was in the middle.
Pinkie and Applejack were the first to spot him, holding a bag of confetti and streamers which he was randomly tossing about the area. Applejack picked a lasso off her side and said, "I'll wrap this polecat up tighter than Granny Smith's girdle, lickety split! Yeehaw!" She threw the lasso, snatching the god around his waist. He yelped and glared back at them. "Uh oh."
The god beat his chest and made a run for it, dragging Applejack with him. Pinkie jumped on her back just in time to go for a ride. "Weee! Isn't this fun Applejack?"
"I can't hold on, he's got too much momentum! Pinkie Pie, do something!"
"I got just the thing!" Pinkie reached behind her back and yanked out a rubber chicken. "Let's see. No." She tossed the rubber chicken and pulled out an anchor. "No." She tossed the anchor and pulled out a cupcake. "Hmm?..." She munched down the cupcake enthusiastically.
"Pinkie, focus!"
"Oh right! AHA!" She yanked a piko hammer from behind her back. "Hold him steady!" She rushed up the rope and leapt towards the party god with the hammer raised over her head. "In the name of Asguard!" The monkey saw her coming and swerved out of the way, flicking Applejack into her as both girls went flying and crashed into a wall. Pinkie sat up and said, "Do that again! Do that again!"
Applejack laid on the floor dizzy eyed as she said, "No Pinkie, the same thing we do every night... try to take over the world." She fainted, giving Pinkie a giggle fit as she bit the cowpony's tail and dragged her in the direction the monkey ran off in.
Meanwhile Discord, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash were searching every nook and cranny they could. They all looked in shock as it came running around a corner. "Looks like it found us!" Discord picked up Rainbow Dash and put her in a slingshot. "Rainbow Dash powers activate!" He launched her, and she cheered excitedly as she shot through the air and smacked into the monkey's face, clinging to it.
The monkey screeched and banged its fists on the floor trying to shake Rainbow Dash off. Rarity said, "What do we do now Discord?"
"Rarity powers activate!"
"Rarity what?" Rarity squeaked as Discord picked her up and slipped her into the slingshot. "Wait, Discord-"
"Just aim your horn at him! Don't worry, I'm responsiwubwub!" He launched Rarity screaming and flailing at the monkey. It heard her screaming through the air, and caught her in mid-air. "Rarity! Think destructively!"
Rarity gasped and said, "Like burn things?!" She concentrated, and the party god's hands lit ablaze. He screamed and dropped Rarity, dropping to the floor and rolling around, smacking and waving his hands about. Rainbow Dash jumped off him in all the confusion, and rushed over to Discord with Rarity.
The party god blew out his hands and glared at the trio, taking out a large party popper. He pulled it's string, a a loud blast of wind, streamers, and confetti exploded in Discord and the two fillies direction. The party god ran off while their ears were ringing, and Rainbow Dash shouted, "His party popper was too loud! He's getting away!"
Discord held a hand to his ear and shouted, "What?! I can't hear you! I think the party popper was too loud!"
Twilight was walking around slowly, for Fluttershy's sake who was flying just as slow, looking around worriedly. "Don't worry Fluttershy. When we find the party god, all we have to do is give the signal, and everyone will show up to protect us."
The yellow pegasus gulped cutely and said, "Are you s-sure Twilight?"
"I'm positive! And I've been practicing magic, so I know I can protect you!"
With a sigh of relief, Fluttershy said, "Oh thank you Twilight. That makes me feel so much-" The party god burst through a wall ahead of them with a loud screech, and Fluttershy squealed loudly. "MONKEY MONKEY MONKEY!"
Down the hall behind them, Discord emerged, holding Rarity and Rainbow Dash as if they were a pair of pistols. "Stick em up party god!"
Down the hall ahead of them, Applejack emerged with Pinkie Pie swinging her piko hammer above her head. "Valhalla!"
Twilight looked between everyone and analyzed the situation. "Wait, I have a plan! Everypony needs to work together! Someone distract the Party god!"
Pinkie stepped forward and said, "I'm on it!" She took out a ukulele and an inflatable ball, which she began to roll around on top of while playing the instrument. "Well when you wanna hula belly with me, you should know that hula belly is free! Just shake your tummy and wiggle your toes, and if you don't have any hope that some grow!"
The party god blinked, and then happily began to clap his hands, ooking in entertainment. Twilight nodded and said, "Rarity, do you know how to tie a rope?"
Rarity's eyes twinkled and she nodded. "I think I know where you're going with this!" Her horn flashed as the rope that was still around the green gods waist wrapped around his arms and tied him up. He howled angrily in shock.
"Success!" Twilight clapped her hooves and then looked to Rainbow Dash. "Applejack is strong! Do you think you can give her enough momentum to knock him down?"
"You got it, Twi!" Rainbow Dash flew to Applejack and picked her up, flying towards the party god as fast as she could before letting the earth pony go.
"YEEHAW! Boot to the head, y'all!" Applejack's hoof slammed into the party god's head, knocking him to the floor.
As the god groaned in pain, Twilight looked to Fluttershy. "You seem like the calmest one here. Could you keep the party god calm?"
"Are you crazy! I don't wanna get near-" Fluttershy stopped when she heard the monkey whine in pain. "Huh... oh no, you poor dear! Are you hurt?" She hovered over and kissed the part gods head, hugging him and muttering comforting words to him.
Twilight turned to Discord and said, "There, he's taken care of! Now send him back to where he came from."
"Discord stroked his goatee and said, "I can't do that."
"What?! Why not?!"
"He's a chaotic god summoned with chaos. The only kind of spell that can vanquish him is an order spell, and I don't do order. But, I can teach you how to use the spell!"
Twilight sighed and said, "I hope my magic is strong enough. Just tell me what to do."
Discord nodded and snapped his fingers, karate gi appearing on both of them. "I won't just tell you. I'll rap!" Karate gi appeared on all the other girls, and Pinkie smacked a gong. Discord made some karate esque noises and poses while the other girls gathered behind him and Twilight. "Kick, punch, it's all in the mind! If you wanna test me, I'm sure you'll find, the lesson I teach ya, is sure to beatcha, but never the less you'll get a lesson from teacher! Now stand!" Twilight wobbled to her feet. "Kick!" She raised her leg but flailed to keep balance. "Punch punch jab!" Twilight punched at the air with her front hooves, and slid forward jutting her shoulder out. "Now twirl!" She spun in place and managed to pull off the twirl with out falling, a boost of confidence evident on her face.
With a nod of approval, Discord stated, "Oh, yeah, I see your getting better! Now let's see if your moves are to the letter!" Pinkie hit the gong again. "Here we go, Twi! Punch punch buck!" Twilight jabbed her front hooves forward one after the other, and then dropped down on them and bucked her back hooves. "Roll and duck!" She rolled forward and crouched low to the floor. "Scratch your nose!" Twilight raised her brow at this one, but did as she was told. "Now turn and pose!" She spun around, and raised one back hoof and one front hoof in an elegant pose.
"Now goddess we sheek, with our moment so bleak! Hear our message, and find your passage! Listen to the rhythm and follow the light, we summon you forth through filly Twilight!" Twilight's eyes glowed as well as her horn, and she floated into the air. A beam shot from her horn, opening a portal in the nearby wall. Discord stared in awe and said, "I could sense the aura in you. This is magic on par with a god. That can only mean..."
As he trailed off in wonder, a large feminine looking canine with long vampiric fangs emerged from the portal. "Party god! What are you doing in this dimension?!"
The monkey groaned and said, "Oh no! It's my party pooping wife! The punishment god! Go away punishment god, things were just starting to get fun!"
"Don't you talk to me like that, party god! I'm taking you back to the astral plane and your gonna have a long time out!"
"Noooo!" The dog bit his tail and dragged him into the portal.
When it vanished, so did the magical aura surrounding Twilight's horn and eyes. She floated to the ground and rubbed her head. "What happened? I think I blacked out."
All the other girls cheered and rushed to hug Twilight. Discord smiled and said, "You see! I took care of everything! I told you I was Responsibooty!"
"DISCORD!" Celestia was red in the face as she stood just feet away glaring at the scene. "There are party decorations, and destroyed ornaments littering my halls! And now I get here to see you all... wearing karate outfits next to a hole in the wall?! Just what happened here!"
Discord began to sweat, until Twilight stood between him and Celestia. "Wait your majesty! Sure, Discord made a mess, but he helped clean it up! And... we all had fun, right?" The other five fillies cheered in agreement. "So maybe he's not the best babysitter, but at least if he makes a mess he knows how to clean it up. Doesn't that count for something?"
Celestia blinked and looked up at Discord, giving off an annoyed sigh. "I'll admit, it's more credit than I would've given you Discord. Honestly I'm surprised you haven't destroyed half the palace yet."
"You came back earlier than expected," Discord threw in sarcastically.
"The point is... I don't 'completely' regret leaving you in charge of Twilight. And maybe, in the future, if Cadence is unavailable... maybe you could babysit her again."
Discord's jaw dropped. "You mean... you trust me?"
"Maybe... a little..." Celestia watched Twilight trot over to her new friends, all of which began recapping everything that just happened.
She looked shocked when Discord wrapped an arm around her. "You know, even if she never finds out the truth... you're a good mother."
Celestia teared up, looking at how happy Twilight was with a smile. "Thank you..."
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"And that's the story of when I first babysat Twilight Sparkle! The end!" All the pirates wiped away tears, except the two disgruntled Rainbow Dash clones.
Captain Dash sighed and said, "Twas a beautiful story Discord. Me crew will tell it to many at the tavern on our next visit. Oh well, time to walk the plank!"
"WHAT?!" Sweetie Belle shouted in a high pitch. "You mean you're still going to throw us overboard?!"
"I never said I wouldn't! What do you say girls? Walk the plank!"
"Walk the plank! Walk the plank! Walk the plank!" All the girls chanted together. Pirate dash and her mean looking rainbow dash clones, the pirate Derpy, Twilight, and Scootaloo, and even the pirate... Discord?
All the pirates paused and looked at Discord, who kept chanting. He slowed when he saw he was being stared at. "...What?" All the pirates looked back at the mast, and where Discord had been was a broom with a note on it that said "I am Discord." The crew lunged at him with swords drawn, but he snaked between them and used his claws and talons to cut the ropes and free everyone. "Be free! Free like butterflies!"
When everyone hit the deck, Scootaloo shouted, "Wait a minute! I thought your powers weren't working!"
"I thought so too," Discord admitted with a shrug. "But then I found out that I just can't teleport us back to our own dimension. Isn't that funny?" All the pirates aimed their sword at them. "Okay, maybe not that funny."
Apple Bloom hugged his leg and shouted, "Do something!"
He rubbed his chin in thought. "I know just the pony to help us! Derpy?"
The wall eyed mared looked at him and answered, "Yes daddy?" Discord's eyes swirled, causing Derpy's to swirl and her jaw dropped.
"Let loose your chaotic form, Screwball!"
Derpy held her head and began to change colors, grunting in pain. Her fur changed from grey to pink, and her eyes became purple and swirly. Her cutie mark glowed as it transformed from bubbles into a screw and a baseball. Her mane became purple and smokey, her wings sucking back into her and a small propeller hat emerging from it on top of her head. She spun around like a tornado and slammed into all the pirates, knocking them back. She struck a pose and shouted, "Smokin!"
Discord laughed and said, "Come on, let's go free Celestia! Screwball can handle things here!"
Screwball noticed all the pirates were getting back up, so she turned her back to them and began to blow into her thumb. Then her smokey tail sprayed off a large cloud of purple smoke, engulfing the pirates. "And that's what happens when you put pop rocks in your burrito!"
The zombie looking Rainbow Dash emerged from the smoke with her sword over her shoulder. "You know, I dealt with the Screwball in my old dimension, so I'm not gonna be made a fool by you!" Screwball yelped and climbed up the mast like a squirrel. The undead pony noticed another pirates sword on the ground and kicked it up into her free hoof, using the two swords to climb the mast. Screwball was out on the part that the sail hung from when dead Dash came after her. "Nowhere to run now!"
When she rain out towards Screwball, swords ready, Screwball floated right over her. "I don't need to run! I can fly with my happy thoughts!" She landed behind the Rainbow Dash, who swiped at her with both swords, only to have her take a step back. A large cut mark on the mast became evident as the part she cut began to crack and break. "Wait right there!" Screwball floated behind the mast and back, handing the girl a fruit basket making her drop her swords. "Bon voyage!"
"Why didn't they put me back together with wings?" The stitched up mare fell screaming as the mast snapped away under her.
Screwball shot to the bottom at lightning speed, looking up with a gasp and taking out a mattress. The falling pony slammed into the deck next to the mattress, burying half way through it with a dazed expression. Screwball was casually laying on the mattress with her hands behind her head. "I thought you'd never get here." All the other pirates roared with anger as they approached. "Well that's not good. Time's up daddy!"
The chaotic mare rushed over to the others, who had freed Celestia, and she now stood with them. Discord and Celestia defensively stood in front of everyone, but the oncoming pirates were interrupted in their charge as what looked like a laser beam struck the deck before them. Everyone looked in the direction it had come from in the sky, just as a large space ship emerged from the clouds. Captain Dash gasped and said, "Oh no! It's hot blooded Pinkie! Come to steak me booty!"
Celestia twitched and said, "Wait a minute! Multiple ponies from other dimensions? Pirates and space ships? There's something else going on here!"
Discord placed a hand on her back and said, "You're absolutely right Celestia." He slipped on a pair of sunglasses and shouted, "OPPA DISCORD STYLE!"
A beat started playing in the air around them as Discord laid in a beach chair, the cutie mark crusaders around him in red pants and white tanks dancing. "Discord Style!...... You come at me with all these tiny little ponies. Your elements of harmony are just a bunch of phonies. My chaos kicks your order to the E-quest-rian border, so lets one, two, three, kick that!"
He leapt to his feet, shreds of paper spraying around him as he moved his feet with Pinkie and Screwball on either side of him. "So come and dance with me! Without Celestia's order we can all be free, to dance the night away like lunatics, so come and be, a rebel for the cause of chaos! Come and dance with me! Come, dance with me!"
The paper stopped and he stroked his hands over his face and body. "You want to love me, you want to kiss me, forever more!" The girls shouted a 'Hey!' "And ever more!" 'Hey!' "I'll hypnotize you, nothing you can do! You're all the same!" 'Hey!' "I know it's lame!" 'Hey!' "But you can't beat my chaotic energey-ey-ey-ey-eyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeeeeyyyy..... Oppa Discord Style!"
All the pirates joined in, everypony dancing Gangnam style. "Discord style! Op, op op op, oppa Discord style! Oh!..... Oppa Discord style! Op, op op op, oppa Discord style!"
All the ponies dropped to all four and began shaking their tails in the air as Discord shuffled between them. "Heeeeeey sexy pony! Op, op op op, oppa Discord style! Heeeeeey sexy pony! Op, op op op-" He stared at Pinkie for a moment. "Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey!
Everyone formed a circle around him and Pinkie as they began to sink, the floor of the deck slowly lowering. "Come for the ride as we descend into crazy. Anyone can do it so get up stop being lazy. It's easy to be random in this silly pony fandom. oh my gosh, I, love, cheese!" He took out a wheel of cheese and munched on it before they were out of view.
An elevator emerged instantly from the deck where they had sunk, opening to reveal Discord laying on the floor, Pinkie standing over him pelvic thrusting and making goofy faces. "Come on it's dancing time! You know you gotta bust a move when Discord busts a rhyme! I like to shake my flank for bacon and that's not a crime! Salsa verde goes great on a taco. Come on bust a rhyme, it's, dancing time!"
Discord and Pinkie ballroom danced out of the elevator before it sunk back into the deck, leaving it good as new. "You want to love me, you want to kiss me, forever more!" Even the pirates shouted a 'Hey!' "And ever more!" 'Hey!' "I'll hypnotize you, nothing you can do! You're all the same!" 'Hey!' "I know it's lame!" 'Hey!' "But you can't beat my chaotic energey-ey-ey-ey-eyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeeeeyyyy..... Oppa Discord Style!"
Half the ponies laid on the ground, while the rest stood over them pelvic thrusting. "Discord Style! Op, op op op, oppa Discord style! Oh!..... Discord style! Op. op op op. oppa Discord style!"
Everypony leapt to their feet and shuffled alongside Discord this time. "Heeeeeey sexy pony! Op, op op op, oppa Discord style! Heeeeeey sexy pony! Op, op op op, hey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey!"
Discord stood before a rather unamused looking Celestia and went on, "Baby wow, you petrify me now! Baby baby, why you angry, please don't have a cow! Baby why? You gonna make me cry! You know it's hard to party when your body's turned to stone, know what I'm saying?!"
Fog and strobe lights seemed to cover the deck as everypony, but Celestia, joined in a group dance. "Oppa Discord style! Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey. Heeeeeey sexy pony! Op, op op op, oppa Discord style! Heeeeeey sexy pony! Op, op op op, hey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey! Oppa Discord style! OH!" Everypony joined Discord in striking one last pose when the song ended.
Celestia stared at the scene and face-hoofed. "That's not what I meant Discord."
Discord raised his sunglasses and said, "What else is there Celestia? What else?"
End Part 6
Author's note: I don't care it was only relevant a year ago. I worked hard on the song and dance and it stays. Deal with it.
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This was alive back in the day of Tracking...
This finally updates, and it isn't as funny as I remember it. Fuck Gangnam Style, that got done so many times, I cringe whenever it's so much as even parodied. What happened to this story being fun?
2947565
Meh, I wrote that song a year ago. -w- At least the chapter was funnier than I was going to make it, which I know is kinda sad. I need to work on making the next chapter extra funny to make up for this delay.
2947565
There, I edited out the song and dance number I spent an hour on for a brief moment of hilarity. I hope you like it more.
A lot of speeling errors and grammar problems in this, like Applejack feinting. Didn't ruin my enjoyment in the slightest, possible because of the context of the chapter it was in, but if you want somepony to volunteer to proofread well...
Shrugs and grins.
2947779
Sure. I don't have a proof reader anymore and it probably shows.
I'm glad despite that you could enjoy the chapter though, it's nice to get at least a little positive feedback after a one year absence. 
So you wanna proof read it, be my guest, I don't have the time and patience to re-read my longest chapter so far. 
YES!!! An update! I read this almost a year ago, before I even joined FimFiction. I loved it! Time to read some epicnessessessess.....
this isn't fun anymore
2947756
That Ney-sayer should just grow some humor. Seriously, well done with that sequence, it was freaking hilarious!! Plus, love the bit with the Party God...might have gone with the name of BO-Bo myself, and yes, the capitalization was deliberate...also, TWILIGHT is CELESTIA'S FOAL!!! WOOT!!!
Well done and I hope to see more of this. Not gunna lie, Sitter-Discord universe is now one of my favorite ones out there! And...should my own project FINALLY take wing...perhaps a cameo/chapter staged here would be most interesting! I know Dissy and Pinkie would love it!
Your writing style has changed quite a bit since this story was last updated. I think whatever creative spark you had back then which spawned this story is gone. Its still random, but not in a funny way. Unless you can turn that around, I think this story should not be continued.
2947864
Wow, thanks man!
When the first few comments were so negative, I lost a lot of motivation. I needed a positive comment like yours to brighten my mood, I mean I just spent all day finishing this so that I could revive it. 
I don't know if I should put back up the entire song and dance number, seeing as how it would've been more relevant and funny and even impressive a year ago when Gangnam Style was actually popular, but maybe I will for the hell of it. I worked hard on it, and if people don't like it, I shouldn't care.
Thanks again dude, it's fans like you that keep me going.
2947899
I think I just wasn't looking forward to working on this chapter because I was at a loss for ideas. Perhaps I should wait on continueing this story, because as much as people want more, my focus is elsewhere nowadays. *Shrugs*
2947916
Bro, it's what I do. I like to think myself a force for good...or failing that Chaotic Neutral with good tendencies depending on the D&D campaign and how many ounces of Pudding I've eaten in the previous 5 minutes.
That said, dude I know how you feel ALL too well. Heck, as of right now, I've got a fic that's under construction, and all the help I keep trying to get in writing it keeps failing me! As is, I've got 3 of the six chapters done, and about 1/5 of chapter 4 done, the outline of chapters 4-6, beginning of chapter 5, and a middle chapter scene from chapter 4...plus an extra scene from WAY down the line.
If you're interested, I could send the stuff to ya via e-mail to check out. As of right now, I intend to release all 6 chapters as a story arch, and each subsequent story arc will be in similar bundled packages, so everypony can see the story as each season/episode happens.
Also, just for the laughs...I could also send you the extra scene from later on, since I KNOW you know at least the primary element of that chapter, and will likely get a kick out of it! Let me know if you're interested, and if so, I just need an e-mail to send it all!
...just a recommendation, should you decide to check it out, definitely use the links to the youtube vids for better visuals and references, as I doubt my own descriptions do it all justice.
2947953
Being descriptive is hard. Heck, being FUNNY is hard. I'm going to take a break from this story again, not as long mind you, but it had been a year and people really wanted an update. Still, I don't think I should write the next chapter unless it's going to be as funny and random as the first.
My mind is elsewhere, my own original works, and a choose your own pony adventure I haven't put any work into finishing. I'd like to focus on those for a bit. And also, who knows, maybe I will find time to take a look at your story. You've been nice to me so far, and it can't hurt, so sure. I'll send you my email bro.
I hate to be a jerk, but I just wasn't really laughing in this chapter. It was pretty random for sure, but it just didn't make me laugh as much as the other chapters. It's a real shame to because I liked this story a lot, but after a year of waiting for an update, it's disappointing to read this chapter and barely get anything funny out of it. I'll admit, the Applejack and Pinkie segment.
A good wink to Pinkie and the Brain and something that did make me chuckle a little. The Gangnam Style was okay, but not that funny at all. And I will admit, the idea of Celestia's child being Twilight is actually quite clever. I don't think that idea has been used before in a story.
Overall though, I'm just disappointed to know that after a year of waiting, the latest chapter barely got a chuckle out of me. I don't know what happened, but I would honestly consider wrapping this story up ASAP, like next chapter or two.
2947756 You didn't have to do that. This is your story, the only thing I have the right to tell you to change is spelling and grammar mistakes. Besides, I, uh, un-favorited the story. This chapter was just stupid, and wasn't fun to read. I had waited months for an update, and it wasn't worth it.
"I am Discord."
Makes sense to me!
2948329
My old chapters did, I'm still fixing it.
2948385
Nice to know you have no faith in future updates. I put it back in anyways though. Sorry you didn't like this chapter, but you shouldn't let that effect how you feel about the overall story. I updated this story because people wanted it and it had been a year, but I guess I just wasn't ready and that ruined what could have been great. Oh well, won't make that mistake again. Lesson learned, ya know?
2948485
I'm glad to hear that. Though the latest chapter wasn't that great, but that's because I updated when the fans demanded it rather than when I was ready. Lesson learned there, and hopefully I can earn them back with the next chapter. When I'm ready to write it of course.
2947692 Narf!
one of my favorite fics of all time is back.................
.............
.........
.....
...
..
.
OPPA DISCORD STYLE!
da hell just happened
ah to hell with it was awsome
What the hell just happened man?
Good enough i suppose. And the gangnam style thing was also kinda good. What did annoy me though is that you swiched between calling it discord and gangnam style.
FINALLY! Nightmare, play the Celebration music!
We don't even have a stereo....
Damn it....
great chapter. I absolutely loved the party god reference (mostly because I actually got it) and the gangnam style was actually cleverly done, unlike most of them that I see. What's next? planking and harlem shake? can't wait to find out in the next chapter.
2949699
God job? Oh no, I am but a humble writer sir.
2949866
No I didn't, I only called the dance moves gangnam style in the narrative. What am I supposed to call it? The 'pony rider'?
Also, thanks to everyone who gave positive feedback. It's inspiring me to not only continue the series, but to make it more accurate to it's roots in random humor and hundreds of pop culture references.
2951162 call it discord style?
2951184
I suppose it couldn't hurt.
welll thats discord for you, able to make you scratch you head and say "......What?" :D
Saw the title and thought "This will end in tears"
Someone needs to take Discord Style and make it a song. Bonus points if John DeLancie can sing it. More bonus points if a music video can be made (unamused Celestia is mandatory though).
My dear sir i have waited for oh so very long for this chapter, through hundreds of story's i have read as i awaited for an update. And when you finally you give me THIS?!?!?!?!?! All i have to say is, good show old boy, you truly must be a practitioner of chaos to be able to change form and style in such a way, though try a little more for some different comedy styles for the individual characters.
Sincerley,
J.B.Grim of Reapers_Inc
Hold on a second... where does the zombie Dash suddenly come from?!
I'm really loving your stories here friend! The ending was a bit too zany in the end. But overall the tale itself was quite original and cute.
I can't wait to see your next entry on your story. I want to know what happens next. For instance: Will Celestia and Discord escape the perils that was brought before them? Will Pinky Pie ever win the affections of Discord from his old love interest Celestia? Will our heroes escape back into their own dimension? Will the Cutie Mark Crusaders ever make it back before supper? Will there be more pop cultural humor? Why is the sky blue? Do you know the muffin man? Tune in next time as we find out after these messages! 
Discord is the result of the Improbability Drive gaining a consciousness
idol
Glad to see this update even if it's been a while. Also I like the Discord Gangnam style even if that song had been done a million times I have never seen a Discord version. Found the chapter overall funny enough to hold my attention as well. Keep doin what your doin. =)
Im gonna keep this as a favorite and see where it goes, not as good as your other chapters, but it has potential to become better, keep working at it, I look forward to your next update, in the mean time I need to work on my own story, a FF1 and Pony cross over, i believe i have enough of the first quarter of the story outlined so i think im going to start writing it up
Since when does logic and discord mix?
Ks. I'll admit the whole Pirate chapter was off as whole, but I'll wait to see where this all goes.
Unless it was Ditzy summoning everypony in one place to summon a Cyborg, Ninja, Zombie, Pirate. Since we have a Sweetie Bot [somewhere], a Pinkie Pie, a Zombie Dash, and a whole ship full of Pirates. So defiantly some Cyborg-Ninja-Zombie-Pirates. With a slice of cake butt.
did anyone even catch the spongebob reference
and
SOME ONE MAKE AN OPPA DISCORD STYLE VIDEO NOW!!!!!!
Oh no... With all these Tumblr blogs in the story, it's only a matter of time before SHE gets in on things. You've all heard of her. The most famous (or infamous, depending on who you ask) pony Tumblr blog of all. I'm speaking, of course, about the dreaded Princess Molestia! (and Gamer Luna)
Since this is Everyone-rated, I suppose fitting someone like her in could be a little tricky, but I find it hard to believe that it's impossible. It just wouldn't be right if she didn't get at least a cameo appearance.
2952629
I'll try and make the next chapter more like the first.
2952815
It's a tumblr reference.
Well I just finished rereading the chapters before this one so I won't get lost. Finished this chapter and overall I thought it was great. That backstory made me spit take and learning how Twilight met the others in this universe was satisfying
. I don't see what all the negativity is about seeing how this story is still as good as I remember.
BEST. UPDATE. EVAH.
Screw what the haters say, this story is still awesome. And I love the gangam style parody. Then again, I just love that particular song and dance, seeing as I have about 10 or so different versions faved. I will admit though, this chapter is a tiny bit less funny than your previous work, but that by no means means you should make you end it. Not everyone can be hilarious all the time, especialy after taking a break from it as long as you did. It'll get easier once you get back into the swing of things.
Keep up the good work! I have faith in you
2966094
It's comments like yours that help me look past the negativity. I wasn't used to negativity on this story, and most of the initial response was negative, so with the massive amount of you that show you still love it, it helps motivate me to make more.
2967565
See, that's constructive criticism. It's supportive while offering advice, why can't more people do that?
Oh well, thank you for being so supportive. I'll be sure to work on the next chapter soon, and make it as funny as you all hope. 
2978464
Someone got it.
Exact scene and everything. I was reading the manga at the time. 
2978501
Hahahaha!
Your comment pleases me. 