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TalonMach5 371008

Joined March 2012
145 followers

    TalonMach5's Stories (3)

    • The Great Slave King
      King a slave of the diamond dogs, becomes a god and plots his revenge against those who wronged him.

      196,574 words · 3,126 views · 318 likes · 16 dislikes
    • Equestrian Tales Told by Tavernlight
      The Great and Powerful Trixie is telling tales in taverns and pubs all across Equestria. From the stately inns of Canterlot and Manehattan, to the backwaters of the soutern frontier.
      8,181 words · 346 views · 35 likes · 0 dislikes
    • The Book of Water: The Marriage of the Slave King
      Book two of four, in the Great Slave King saga. An anthology of Equestria's history
      205,893 words · 1,371 views · 199 likes · 14 dislikes

    The Well of Eternity a place lost to time, is the birthplace of Equestria's various deities. King, a mortal man from Earth slips between the cracks that separate worlds. Landing in the unforgiving badlands of greater Equestria, he aimlessly wanders through the unforgiving terrain. Eventually enslaved by diamond dogs, for ten long years he labors under their cruel whips, eventually escaping his captors only to become lost in the depths of Equestria's vast underworld. Dying of thirst, the man spies the Well of Eternity and drinks his fill. Its waters more than quench his thirst; a metamorphosis occurs and changes him, for good or ill none can tell. What fate shall befall this man, the Great Slave King?

    Book one of four, book two can be found at The Book of Water: The Marriage of the Slave King

    TV Tropes Page: The Great Slave King: Special thanks goes to gentlereader Abstract Indigo

    Cover art by myself.

    First Published
    12th Mar 2012
    Last Modified
    1st Dec 2012

    Comments ( 818 )

    #1 · Chapter 3 · 66w, 3d ago · · ·
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    This looks promising

    #2 · Chapter 3 · 66w, 3d ago · · ·
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    this seriously sounds epic, imma track, but waiting for complete.

    #3 · Chapter 3 · 66w, 3d ago · · ·
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    i like it, the idea is the first of it's kind i've seen and you put the idea into words very well, tracking.

    #4 · Chapter 3 · 66w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>314241 Thanks, It always bothered me that we never see greater Equestria in any fanfics its always Twilight screws up a spell, or Rainbow Dash shipping with anything and everything. I was throwing around the idea of a fic based around the diamond dogs since January, and the Ballad of Echo made me decide to flesh out my idea.

    #5 · Chapter 3 · 66w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>314253 nice, i read the same fic :3 have for a while (i keep teasing the creator by suggesting dog-like names to call him)

    #6 · Chapter 3 · 66w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Assuming his abilities are unique to his being, as every deity we have seen so far has, then I will enjoy it.

    #7 · Chapter 4 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    WHy did this re-post?




    EDIT: inb4 first fags

    #8 · Chapter 4 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>315026

    exactly what i thought

    #9 · Chapter 4 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>315026>>315029 I added another chapter, the prologue. The Divine Moot.

    #10 · Chapter 4 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    #11 · Chapter 4 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    #12 · Chapter 1 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    cool, cant wait till he goes n fuck the Ddogs up

    #13 · Chapter 4 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    #14 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    maaaaan he's got conflicting emotions...

    #15 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Interesting. Tracking.:pinkiehappy:

    #16 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Also he is a total douche.

    #17 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>316273 Thanks. I wanted to portray him as a selfish, greedy person. He knows he should be a better person, but has stopped trying cause he no longer cares.

    #18 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Meh.

    #19 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    good shit! reallllllly looking forward to this.

    #20 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·
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    he coulda traded the apple for the hay, am geussin hes gona get to know the Griffon and Unicorn over the next 10 years

    #21 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>317049

    I agree, while I kinda like knowing whats in store. this is way too much information. You will need to get to the slave king bit soon. I already know what happens, he stays a slave for the next ten years, what happens during those ten years doesn't really concern me greatly. Its the well bit I find intriguing. And you can always return to those times when he was a slave in flashbacks and memories. so you could kind of have two stories going at the same time.

    Still, tracked, liked.

    Favorited? only time will tell.

    #22 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 1d ago · · ·
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    When do we get to see him as the slave king?

    #23 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>321477 chapter 1 technically. But I'm putting the finishing touches on the next chapter. So you'll see some action then.

    #24 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>321527

    So basically the story is the chapter as him turning into a god and then the rest f the story is his past?

    #25 · Chapter 5 · 66w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>321540 Well the important events in the ten year gap will be told in flashbacks, after he assumes his power.

    #26 · Chapter 6 · 66w, 23h ago · · ·
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    >>322257 I've always been a strong believer in standing by your choices. the Slave King will not disappoint you in that regard. Also enjoy the new chapter. The Godslayer's Punishmnet

    #27 · Chapter 6 · 66w, 22h ago · · ·
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    ......Badass.....

    #28 · Chapter 6 · 66w, 22h ago · · ·
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    so good!:pinkiehappy:

    #29 · Chapter 6 · 66w, 22h ago · · ·
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    I love this chapter and the first, but I skipped the ones in between. Those middle chapters seemed to be pointless exposition.

    #30 · Chapter 6 · 66w, 22h ago · · ·
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    Awsome

    this is soooo good

    #32 · Chapter 7 · 66w, 20h ago · · ·
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    >>322326 I'm sorry you didn't enjoy chapters 2-5. It's probably because the type of story changed from when I first started. The purpose of those chapters was meant to show a typical human, or ape as the wonderfully talented Chantoyance might say, would act. Thank you for your patience, I hope you enjoy the rest of The Great Slave King, as I release it.

    #33 · Chapter 7 · 66w, 20h ago · · ·
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    >>322365 Awesomesauce. You know you've reached internet awesomeness where there's meme involved.

    #34 · Chapter 7 · 66w, 20h ago · · ·
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    >>322449WHA?!?!?WHO DIDNT ENJOY THOSE CHAPTERS?!?!THIS STORY I-*cough*Sorry caps lock I love this story to the fullest extent!Who could not like a single chapter?!:pinkiegasp:ITS LIKE BREAKING A PINKIE PROMISE:pinkiecrazy:

    #35 · Chapter 7 · 66w, 20h ago · · ·
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    one thing though,

    "Even though you tried to assassinate me, I’ll accept your challenge."

    Challenge, what challenge? I thought she just tried to off you. or at least imprison you in stone. Not really a challenge. and seriously you could level some serious threats, for example "try that again and the earth will refuse you its bounty, and all shall starve for your trespasses." all farms need the earth to grow food, you literally have the entirety of the world in a choke hold, except for maybe the dragons, if you wanted to threaten them, just turn all gems into coal.

    #36 · Chapter 7 · 66w, 20h ago · · ·
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    >>322459 if you have a preference on whether Lord Triton or Lord Ouroboros, be the Slave King's antagonist please post and let me know.

    #37 · Chapter 7 · 66w, 20h ago · · ·
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    >>322469 Yes, but she tried to do what Lord Darkpaw attempted. Violate the law of the moot.The Slave King isn't a soulless monster yet. He only really has a quarrel with the gem biter clan. If Lord Darkpaw had let him kill a few of them, the whole situation could have been avoided. In the next chapter I'll explain the mechanics behind the prime elements.

    #38 · Chapter 7 · 66w, 20h ago · · ·
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    >>322477

    still, what challenge was offered? is she challenging him for his life? control of the earth? she never really says anything that can be considered a 'challenge'

    he says he will 'yield to her judgement' but she again hasn't said anything.

    See my problem?:fluttershysad:

    its all very unclear

    #39 · Chapter 7 · 66w, 20h ago · · ·
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    >>322489 Okay point taken, I added some clarifying language to show he would be imprisoned not assassinated, and to show Celestia's actions would have been seen as a challenge. Thanks for reading.

    #40 · Chapter 7 · 66w, 19h ago · · ·
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    this story is awsomne dude

    #41 · Chapter 7 · 66w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>322506

    thank you.:twilightsmile:

    I was just getting a bit confused, sorry for nit picking.

    #42 · Chapter 7 · 66w, 19h ago · · ·
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    >>322551 I'd rather have a nit picker, rather than a not reader

    >>322547 Thank you for reading, it pleases me that I was able to bring you enjoyment.

    I only hope that my story will be considered, as good as the epic fics this site has. Like a taste of grass, Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog, and Memoirs of a Reality Jumper.

    #43 · Chapter 8 · 66w, 15h ago · · ·
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    MOAR!

    #44 · Chapter 6 · 66w, 14h ago · · ·
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    wha?! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?! he fell asleep and you skipped ahead?!?! THIS IS SO CONFUSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (though nice 3 chapter update)

    #45 · Chapter 6 · 66w, 11h ago · · ·
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    I don't know if I'd be so agreeable to the one who was about to imprison me in stone for millenia.

    I'd be playing by the Chicago Way.

    #46 · Chapter 8 · 66w, 11h ago · · ·
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    >>323079 Basically, the character Andrew King, was explaining his story to the assorted deities from chapter 1. I had planned to spend three more chapters on the ten year gap in fact i had like 6k already written, when I decided that the isn't really the slave kings story, its was a story about the interaction between the slave king, the various deities, and the people, er ponies affected by the prime elements warring with each other. Fear not you will learn more of his exploits prior to him actually becoming the slave king. But I apologize if the transition was rough.

    >>322951 Fear not gentle reader, the chapter releases were doubled, and hopefully I will be able to write another six k words tonight after work. After all the pieces are now all on the board,and we just have to move them.

    #47 · Chapter 8 · 66w, 10h ago · · ·
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    >>323721 The Slave King knew, Celestia was only attempting imprisoning him to protect the weaker creatures of the world. She also voted against his banishment during the moot. Additionally he hadn't learned the extent of his powers just yet, and Celestia was the obviously most power being in attendance.

    #48 · Chapter 9 · 65w, 6d ago · · ·
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    heh heh kill them all

    DJ...what are you holding?

    a skull, "alas poor yorick, for i knew him not horatio" - if you don't know i will kill you

    #49 · Chapter 1 · 65w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Oooooh I likes the story better now!:pinkiesmile:

    #50 · Chapter 9 · 65w, 6d ago · · ·
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    The ground screamed in protest, having no desire to bear the trespasser's weight.

    The sun darkened, bathing all in a crimson deep, illuminating the dark figure.

    All things living fled, their instincts foretelling the doom that graced them.

    Hope turned to despair, frozen in the hearts of all that bore witness to his terrible visage.

    All was lost.

    For Death had come to call.

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