• Published 10th Jan 2014
  • 2,777 Views, 251 Comments

Title Match - Zap Apple Smash



Trouble strikes Ponyville as a Voodoo practising Zebrony (and former friend of Trixie's) comes to town to settle a score. Lunaverse story.

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Sim Sala Bim

Trixie arrived at town hall to see a group of ponies running away in mass hysteria. Despite the situation, she couldn't help but wonder if the constant running from danger wasn't the reason for most of Ponyville being in such great shape.

Raindrops came to a landing beside the representative.

"What's the situation?"

"Not sure yet."

"Hiya Sis. Hi Miss Trixie." The two mares turned to see Snails on top of a house sized spider. "Look at my new friend!"

"Huh," Trixie commented. "How did we miss that?"

Raindrops however, while not scared of the sight, did not look pleased. She flew up to have a word with her brother.

"Snails, what did Mum, Dad and the Mayor tell you about no longer bringing creatures bigger than you are into town?"

"But he came into town all on his own." Snails argued. "Does that mean I can keep him?"

"No, but it does mean that you should lead him out of town before somepony calls in the royal guard about it."

Snails let out a sigh of disappointment. Even the spider seemed sad. "Okay sis. Come on Webbly, time to go."

As the spider started to leave town, Raindrops returned to the ground beside Trixie.

"You know your brother is either going to become a renowned bug expert or take over the world with his insect army someday, right?"

"And I for one would welcome our new Overlord." Raindrops turned to face the representative. "So any idea what's going on? Because between that spider and the bullfrogs causing trouble near the weather station, this is really starting to be a weird day even by Ponyville standards."

Trixie raised an eyebrow. "Bullfrogs?"

"Everfree Bullfrogs." Raindrops clarified. "They're about the size of actual bulls and even have horns to match."

"Sounds like trouble."

Raindrops shrugged.

"It was more morally conflicting than anything."


"Come on, Rainbow Dash..."

"I don't want to hear it!" The rainbow maned pegasus snapped. "You and your friends are always the ones saving the day and I'm sick of it. Now it's my turn so don't get involved."

"But..."

"That's an order!"

At that, Raindrops had no choice but stand by as Rainbow Dash flew out to face the bullfrogs. The weather manager would only realise when it was too late that she had underestimated a few things about the creatures.

Like their size.

And strength.

And numbers.

And ability to perform a noogie.

After briefly watching the spectacle unfolding, Raindrops turned to a co-worker. "So what do you think is more likely to land me disciplinary action? Disobeying a superior or letting her be beaten to a pulp?"


"...when they started trying to use her as a trampoline, I had no choice but to intervene." Raindrops explained. "And she still claimed she had them on the ropes."

Trixie couldn't help but roll her eyes at this. "Alright Raindrops. Lets get the team together and meet at the lake, I have a feeling things are gonna get weirder before they get better."


"You okay there, Miss?"

Red Gala, who had been busy dragging an unconscious Manticore out of town, stopped to face Post Haste. "Eeyup."

"What are you doing with that manticore?"

"Found it."

"What happened to it?" The mail pony asked.

"Natural causes."

"Are those hoof marks on its face?"

"Pure coincidence."

Post Haste took a moment to weigh up his options in continuing this conversation.

:"Well, you have a nice day."

"You too."

Red Gala was about to continue dragging the creature but then paused when she felt something on her head. She looked up and noticed that she was now wearing a fancy wide brimmed hat. She let out a frustrated groan.

"Rarity!" the red mare said through grit teeth.

"What?" the fashionista asked in fake innocence. "Is it wrong to offer a friend some much needed sun protection?"

The red mare simply stared in disbelief.

"Though now that you mention it, I do, by pure coincidence, happen to have some outfits in my workshop that would go brilliantly with that hat." Rarity explained. "If you could just come to my boutique for a couple of hours I'm sure that we can..."

"WOAH! Nice Manticore!" Any further conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Ponyville’s resident DJ. "Think I can use it for my next show?"

"VINYL!" Rarity jumped back in fright. "What are you doing here?"

"Just picked up my new rig from the train station." Vinyl Scratch replied, pointing to a nearby wagon. "Just taking it back to the studio."

The DJ then noticed how tense the fashionista was acting.

"Oh come on, you're not still mad about what happened at that gig are you?"

"Of course not, holding onto petty grievances is beneath me." Rarity responded. "I'd just appreciate it if you respected the ten step distance we agreed on."

Though her sunglasses were in the way, it was pretty obvious that Vinyl was rolling her eyes. She was about to reply when something caught her attention. "Woah, neat looking birds."

Sitting in a nearby tree were what appeared to be a group of budgies with blood red eyes staring down at the ponies.

"BANSHEE BUDGIES!" Rarity shrieked. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!"

Vinyl looked perplexed as the dressmaker ran away. "Wait. What sort of cheese?"

The budgies then, in unison, let out a mind shattering scream. Red Gala fell to the ground, placing her hooves over her ears in the vain hope of alleviating the pain the sonic barrage was causing her.

Vinyl on the other hoof, was not only unphased by the assault but seemed enamoured with the birds.

"Awww." She cooed. "They want to play."


Under one of the many bridges in Ponyville, three sirens were watching their surroundings.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" The yellow-eyed one asked.

"Oh come on," The teal-eyed one shot back. "We're here so we might as well get a meal out of it. And just look at all those tasty ponies."

"They do look tasty." The red-eyed one agreed. "And this can't be worse than that pony that thought we were kelp."

Yellow eyes promptly smacked Red eyes on the back of the head.

"Kelpies you moron!"

"Alright!" Teal eyes interjected. "We start on three. One...two...three."

WUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUB

The sound was so loud that the bridge itself started to shake.

"SWIM AWAY!"

As the sirens swam away from Ponyville for dear life, Vinyl was busy showing off her new speaker set which was currently flooding the town with her brand of music.

"WOULD YOU BELIEVE I HAD TO GET THIS RIG CUSTOM MADE?!" Vinyl shouted out.

"EEYUP!" Red Gala shouted back.


Firelock and Alula were in an open field, having a picnic. Having finished their sandwiches, they were enjoying the last of the juice.

"Look what mommy packed for desert." Alula pulled out a packet of marshmallows.

Any excitement Firelock had was sidetracked when her nostrils flared up.

"What's that smell?"

The two fillies turned to the source of the smell and saw a timberwolf staring down at them.


Trixie found Cheerilee at the teacher’s house with Lyra.

"Hey, we need to get the team together, things are getting weird even by Ponyville standards."

"You're telling me." Cheerilee replied. "I was trying to get rid of the Mocking Birds nesting on my roof."

"Mocking Birds?"

At that moment, a bird with a Cheerilee's colouring landed on her mail box.

"And remember class, it's alright to act perverted so long as you're subtle about it."

That bird was then knocked off by a yellow and blue bird. "Raindrops Angry! Raindrops Smash!"

The next thing a Trixie knew, her avian doppelgänger was perched on her hat.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie demands your attention..." The bird proclaimed proudly. "... Your bourbon and your cream cheese filled éclairs."

"Please tell me you don't eat that." Lyra pleaded.

"No," Trixie replied, "but it does sound tasty."

The three mares then noticed a yellow and orange bird sprawled out in front of Cheerilee's door.

"Hi." The bird said cheerfully. "I'm Carrot Top."

Lyra tilted her head slightly. "I don't get it

A mint green bird knocked it out of the way.

"I'm Lyra, my two defining traits are what I do with my harp and what I do with my marefriend."

A vein popped out of Lyra's forehead but as she opened her mouth she was stopped by Trixie.

"Yes, yes, 'it's not a harp', we get it. The key to a good gag is to make sure that it’s not overused."

"Hey Trixie!" Windowpane called out. "A shipment of that special glass came in early so I can do your repair today."

"That's great Windowpane." Trixie shouted back. "Pokey is at the Residency so he'll let you in."

The two other mares rolled their eyes and gave each other a knowing look.

"So where's one for Ditzy?" Trixie asked in an attempts to get the conversation back on track.

"Strangest thing happened." Cheerilee replied, "It went wall eyed and suddenly half the community wanted to adopt it."

A timberwolf howl pierced the air.

"A TIMBERWOLF!!" Cheerilee exclaimed.

She then ran in the direction of the howl, dragging along Trixie.

"Oh sure." Lyra responded. "Leave me with the smart alecs."


Trixie and Cheerilee arrived to see Firelock and Alula roasting marshmallows over what appeared to be a camp fire.

"Are you two alright?" The teacher asked. "We thought we had heard a timberwolf."

"Oh, there was one." Alula explained. "Firelock took care of it."

The two grown mares stared, taking a moment to contemplate the implications of that statement and of the fire before them.

"How about you handle this one?" Trixie suggested. "Seeing as she is yourstudent."

"But you're the one that was teaching her magic." Cheerilee replied.

"Alright fine." Trixie turned back to the fillies. "Make sure to put out the fire when you’re done."

"Will do, Miss Trixie."

The representative then noticed Cheerilee glaring at her.

"What? I take fire safety seriously.”


Trixie and Cheerilee arrived at the lake to see the rest of Elements waiting for them.

"I hope you two have an idea of what's going on." Raindrops stated. "Because things have officially gotten beyond the point where you shrug your shoulders and say 'That's Ponyville'.”

"Ponies do that?" Lyra asked.

"Some do." Ditzy explained. "In fact it was the town's slogan for a while when the 'At least we're not Detrot' campaign was scrutinized by the public."

"Focus. Now we need to figure out what is going on and stop it before it escalates." Trixie stopped speaking when she felt a set of eyes on her. She turned around and saw a giant purple sea serpent with a fancily done mane staring down at her. The blue mare found herself only able to give the creature a nervous smile.

"Hi there."

"Oh don't mind me." The serpent replied. "Just pony watching."

The representative paused at that. "Pony watching?"

"Oh yes." The serpent replied happily. "I don't see too many in the Everfree forest and you're just so cuuuuute!"

Lyra scooted closer to Cheerilee. "Is it odd that we're having a civil conversation with a giant sea serpent?"

"I heard that! For your information, I am a river serpent." the creature clarified. "Do you know what too much salt water does to your mane?"

"Listen...mister...?"

"Oh I'm Stevenacular Magnetus the Enlightened." The serpent replied. "But my friends call me Steven."

"Well Steven..."

"You mean we're friends?" Steven squealed in detail. "How wonderful!"

Trixie just stared at the giant serpent for a moment. "Yeaaaaaaah...so what exactly are you doing here? I mean don't get me wrong, it's nice to meet someone from the Everfree Forest not trying to kill us but why aren't you still in there?"

Steve paused thoughtfully. "You know, I'm not altogether sure. I was just in my favourite bend in the river when suddenly I just found the whole place irritating.”

"Irritating?" Raindrops repeated. "You found the Everfree Forest irritating?"

"Strange I know. I mean sure some of the locals are a little rude and you don't a lot of visitors but the ambiance is just so superb." Steven scratched his head in contemplation. "Though now that I think about it, I don't know why I suddenly found it irritating."

It only took a moment for Trixie to come up with an answer. "Galeb."

Steven tilted his head in confusion. "I'm not familiar with that name, is it short for anything?"

"Yes." The representative replied. "It's short for 'Bucking Galeb is at it again'."

At that Trixie stomped away as Ditzy got to work convincing Steven to head back to the Everfree Forest.

"Listen Steven, you seem like a really nice river serpent but would you mind heading back to the forest?"

"Sure, I was needing to go give my scales a polish." Steven replied. "And it may just be my imagination but I think some of the locals are scared of me."


Trixie's friends caught up to her.

"Hold up." Raindrops said. "You think Galeb's behind this?"

"We kick him out of town and suddenly we're up to our eyeballs in Everfree creatures. Yeah, I think that's a logical assumption."

"Wait," Cheerilee interjected. "You're telling me that Galeb is controlling the creatures of the Everfree Forest?"

"He's agitating the creatures of the Everfree forest. They are just as likely to hurt him as they are us." Trixie corrected. "What he's doing is the magical equivalent of poking them with a sharp stick."

"He can do that?" Carrot Top asked in dismay.

"Apparently." Trixie replied, she then noticed her friends staring at her. "What? Voodoo is not an exact science, I can't guess all the tricks he has at his disposal. But even I didn’t think he would take it this far."

"What the hay would he be thinking, doing something like this?" Cheerilee asked.

"That Ponyville is the nearest town to hit." Raindrops surmised. "We made it so that he couldn't pull stunts within town so he found another way to try and get what he wants."

"So how do we stop it?" Ditzy asked.

Trixie took in a deep breath. "It was always going to come down to this, wasn't it?"

"What was?" Lyra asked.

Instead of answering Trixie yelled out. "PINKIE!!!"

At that moment, Ponyville's pink party pony popped out of seemingly nowhere. "Yes, Trixie."

"We have a class nine emergency on our hooves." Trixie explained. "As Representative I am enacting Public Safety Protocol 87."

Pinkie gave Trixie a salute. "Understood." She then put on a hard hat with a bright flashing light. "EVACUATION PARTY!!!!"

As Pinkie started to bounce away, the other elements returned their attention to Trixie.

"So we evacuate the town and then what?" Carrot Top asked.

"I am going to find Galeb and accept his challenge."

"No Trixie. That's what he wants."

"Exactly, once he knows that I'll face him in a duel, he'll stop what ever he's doing and then this will be between him and me."

"Come on," Raindrops interjected. "We don't need to play by that jerk’s rules. Let’s call in the guards, form a search party and find the troublemaker."

"And leave the residents homeless while monsters wreak havoc on the town?" Trixie asked. "Right now we're holding our own but if Steven is any indication, things are escalating. How long before the Ursa Minor comes back? Or the Ursa Major? Or whatever Tartarus spawn creature is in that forsaken forest that we haven't even met yet. Maybe we can find him, maybe we can stop whatever he's doing before things go too far but are any of you willing to gamble our home on this?"

None of Trixie's friends had anything to say but their silence spoke volumes. Finally Cheerilee stepped forward and placed a comforting hoof on Trixie's shoulder.

"It's your call but know that we're here for you no matter what."

Trixie placed a hoof over Cheerilee's in gratitude. "Thanks."


Galeb was sitting patiently from his viewpoint on a nearby hill overlooking Ponyville.

"Oh come on." Galeb groaned in frustration. "What's it gonna take for some decent mass hysteria?"

As if in reply glowing works appeared in the sky.

I accept your challenge Galeb
Meet me at the crossroads west of town

"Not what I was asking." Galeb commented. "But I'm not complaining."