Albert Wesker and the Showpony, part III
Albert Wesker and the Showpony, Part III
Author’s Note: Erm…. Hey guys? Have been very busy with work, my laptop decided to implode (AGAIN) and I’m naturally quite a lazy person so I can only apologise for the massive delay in bringing you lovely, patient people another chapter. Hell, if I wasn’t really ill at the moment I probably wouldn’t have been able to find the time but here I am and I am eager and ready to write another scintillating (I wish) chapter. Love and bubbles and I hope you enjoy. Xoxoxox P.S. All written from memory so if there’s some incorrect lines of dialogue then ya know… forgive me.
Wesker had always been a careful and methodical human being. Contrary to what his peers thought of him, he wasn’t a demon that revelled in slaughter and chaos, ideally his goal was to avoid conflict and achieve his goals surreptitiously and subtly.
But there’s a giant bear made of star matter and that’s super exciting!
It was. Much as he hated to admit it, his intervention in this very unusual matter was borne more from boredom than it was anything else. Nurse Redheart’s gentle attempt to subdue her patient were met with customary nonchalance as he elegantly sidestepped her wild, lunging tackle and dashed through the double doors of the hospital at the exact same moment that an ear-splitting roar shook the walls of all the buildings around Wesker.
Every 5 seconds in Equestria Wesker had to take stock of how unusual his life now was. Sprinting towards a giant star-bear wasn’t exactly something he ever saw himself doing but the afterlife had found a rather direct way of subverting his expectations until he was no longer surprised by this turn of events. In fact, all he had felt since seeing the Ursa Major on the horizon was a familiar rush of adrenaline but now he was quickly approaching it, he was beginning to realise the enormity of the beast before him.
Didn’t really have a plan for this part, did you Al?
Don’t die, preferably don’t get hit at all, look fantastic and don’t ruin the suit. Also, attack the space-bear. Speaking of the said Ursa Major, running away from it were the two sickeningly earnest Trixie fans from earlier in the day who entirely ignored the former Umbrella scientist and instead went straight to the trailer of the insufferable magician, hollering for her assistance.
Surprised she’s not awake already, that bear has crushed a couple of houses already and it’s not exactly quiet.
“I thought the Great and Powerful Trixie said she didn’t want to be disturbed!”
The oblivious pair of stallions shrugged off the attempted dismissal due to their shock at the slight damage the creature had already committed and just about managed to babble out, “We brought an Ursa Major to town!”
“You did what??” Wesker and Trixie mirrored each other’s words concurrently, causing the latter to throw an annoyed glance towards the former. Unfortunately this meant that she had no time to react as the enraged beast prepared to destroy her trailer.
Once again, the blonde was acting on pure adrenaline so instead of procuring some popcorn and awaiting the death of the irritating showpony in leisurely fashion, he instead leapt from standing through the open window and grabbed a firm hold of the blue unicorn, this left her only enough time for a startled squeak before he used his momentum to spin. Having already made one incredibly bad decision, he decided to go for broke and used his own body to shield the two from laceration as they burst through the decidedly closed window on the other side of the trailer just as the Ursa Major effortlessly crushed it.
Trixie gaped open-mouthedly and tried unsuccessfully to speak as Wesker then dumped her unceremoniously on the ground as he shook the glass from himself and critically examined the damage to his new clothes. The wide gashes spread out all along the garment bothered him infinitely more than the welfare of the mare he had just saved and the freely bleeding cut on his forehead. Or indeed the giant space-bear some five feet behind him.
“Damn! It was so beautiful! Newly stitched! How can I go back to Miss Rarity the day after I made it and tell her I ruined it saving some tiresome bint?!”
“Hey!”
He ignored Trixie’s protest, “…the nicest thing I’ve owned since I arrived here and now it’s absolutely destroyed! Why can’t I just have nice things?”
The Ursa Major let out a thunderous roar as Trixie ‘eep’d.
“You can shut up too! This is entirely your fault! How would this situation have arisen if you hadn’t come stomping in here like a bloody fool?!”
Trixie went to angrily refute this statement before she realised that it was actually directed at the bear, which looked as utterly baffled as Trixie and her miniature fan club were as the rant continued.
“…you think I run into tailoring like this on a daily basis? Do you think there is an immaculate suit tree growing in the town centre? I think you’ll find there is not! This was created through many hours of hard graft and while this mess is partly this one’s fault for existing,” a hoof was jabbed at the nearby indignant showpony, “and these two idiots’ fault for being idiots.” Snips and Snails looked suitably ashamed of their role in the whole calamity. “It is primarily your fault and why am I lecturing a giant bear made of stars??”
The spell suddenly broken, the Ursa Major swiped a giant paw towards Wesker as he darted backwards out of its reach. Finally the pair of colts turned to a still visibly shaking Trixie and the shorter of the pair piped up, “come on Great and Powerful Trixie, vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major!”
“Yeah, vanquish it so we can watch.”
A sage nod was Snails’ response to Snips’ utterance,” yeah, it took a lot of effort to bring that thing here!”
Trixie finally snapped out of her trance, “why did you two bring that thing here?! Are you out of your little pony minds?!”
“Much as it pains me, I have to agree, are you two secretly evil? Or just morons?”
Snips and Snails looked mildly hurt at the accusations but remained strong in the presence of their newly acquired idol, “but you’re the Great and Powerful Trixie! You defeated the mighty Ursa Major!”
Wesker suddenly dabbed a hoof against his head and stared at the blood coating the appendage, “and I’m fine, thank you all for asking.”
This time it was his turn to be ignored as Trixie gulped, faced the Ursa head-on and prepared for battle.
I suppose now is the time to see if she is all talk, Albert.
A rope was entwined with violet magic and began to descend slowly from the ground, it began to wrap itself firmly around the Ursa Major as Snips and Snails looked on in awe as the enchanted item began to work it’s way around the mystical beast….’s fingers.
Wesker matched the unamused expression on the Ursa’s face. Trixie glanced over at the former human, “there! Piece of cake.”
The rope was snapped with a mere gesture by the star-creature and the crowd that had now gathered gulped nervously and took a collective step backwards.
“Stop goofing around and vanquish it already!”
Several members of the rapidly increasing audience nodded in agreement, this show was getting a tad too real for their liking.
Beads of nervous sweat dripped down the unicorn’s face, belying to Wesker the real nature of the event before them. “Okay… I’ve got this.”
Dark stormclouds began brewing, growing in size and becoming more ominous as they hovered over the startled Ursa. Fair enough, she’d tried the non-lethal route and it had failed, now she was going to zap her opponent out of existence. He couldn’t blame her for the switch in focus.
Sadly the final result was less than impressive and the enormous bear was less than impressed after being given a slight shock by a comparatively tiny cloud. Once more, Trixie threw a scared look towards her earlier saviour.
“By all means, carry on. You seem to have this covered.” He arched an eyebrow as she pleaded silently with her eyes, “perhaps go back to the rope option, maybe it will work this time.”
Snips and Snails, on the other hand, were just dumbfounded by the whole situation, “what’re you doing Great and Powerful Trixie? Why haven’t you vanquished it yet?”
She sighed in defeated fashion, “I can’t! No-one can, I just made the whole thing up to make myself look better!”
“MADE IT UP?!” Trixie pointedly looked away from the smug look on Wesker’s face as her fan club had a sudden and dramatic crisis of confidence.
Unfortunately his moment of revelry was cut short by a colossal paw, which this time he was too busy silently mocking Trixie to avoid. He certainly felt it.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
SMACK. And that was how Albert Wesker found himself prone on the ground, hind legs against a wall, upside down with stars sprinkled liberally throughout his vision as the remainder of the ludicrous scene played out in fantastically upside down fashion.
The upside down crowd gasped in horror as upside down Twilight had an moment of agonising as she debated whether or not to do something for fear of making herself look like a ‘show-off’. Wesker decided that the natural conclusion was being reached far too slowly and intervened, “MISS TWILIGHT” he bellowed from his prone position some fifty feet away, “YOUR FRIENDS DON’T CARE ABOUT HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT MAGIC. IT’S NOT ARROGANCE TO SHOWCASE SOMETHING YOU’RE GOOD AT. THE ONLY REASON THEY DISLIKED TRIXIE’S MAGIC IS BECAUSE SHE WAS SO POMPOUS IN DISPLAYING IT.”
All of Twilight’s friends nodded in somewhat surprised agreement and they all took turns patiently explaining why this was the case but Wesker was unable to make out what they were saying due to his distance away and the fact his ears were ringing quite noticeably.
“MUCH AS I APPRECIATE THE HEARTWARMING NATURE OF THIS MOMENT, CAN YOU PLEASE RESOLVE THIS SITUATION BEFORE THE SPACE-BEAR DECIDES TO STOP WAITING?”
Twilight nodded once in Wesker’s direction and set about using her magic to return the Ursa to the cave from which it had come. Firstly by putting it to sleep, then by hovering it through a cattle-shed with a giant bottle of milk and finally straight back into the cave from whence it had stormed out of.
That seemed far easier than it should have been.
Correct. But the possibly concussed Wesker wasn’t especially bothered as he painstakingly clambered to his feet and staggered over to the assembled masses, dodging an overturned applecart along the way and picking up one of the fruits as he did so. He caught the tail end of the kafuffle, which was Trixie speaking.
“…that was just a baby?!”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Albert! Are you all right? Oh Celestia you’re bleeding!”
He waved a dismissive hoof in response, “fine. What do you mean that was a baby?”
“Erm, it was an Ursa Minor. Not an Ursa Major and it was just cranky because somebody” she glared at Snails and Snips, “woke it up.”
Trixie and Wesker, with eyebrows in danger of disappearing off their heads, shared an aside glance. Wesker whispering, “you ruined my suit”, ruined this moment.
Spike fidgeted with his claws, “if that’s an Ursa Minor… then what’s an Ursa Major look like?”
Twilight smiled knowingly, “You don’t wanna know.”
Trixie had recovered rather splendidly from her previous shock, “well, you may have defeated an Ursa MINOR but you will never have the jaw-dropping showmanship of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” A puff of smoke erupted from her horn and the showpony scampered away but not before a thrown apple caught her on the back of her head as she face planted on the ground.
“You’re welcome Miss Trixie, feel free to name one of your hideously annoying children after me.”
A vocal growl was all that the citizens of Ponyville heard before the Great and Powerful Trixie exited stage left and everyone was left to survey the relatively minor…
Ha!
…damage to the town, considering a thirty foot bear had rampaged through it. Really it was all superficial damage but still, all present turned their attention to the perpetrators of this minor…
Ha!
…disaster.
“What to do with you two?”
“We’re really sorry we brought an Ursa Minor to town…”
“…but at least we got to see some awesome magic!”
A frown from Twilight greeted the pair and they slumped in defeat, “we deserve whatever punishment you give us.”
“Death?” Everyone gasped in shock and turned to stare at the bloodied Wesker. “Just kidding?”
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Yay!
An update!
holy shits its like all dead fics is coming to life the closer to christmas we get
fuck yeah
3670863
It's truly a christmas miracle!
Out of character, much?
Ugg... You are retelling an episode, and can't even keep the one character that is inserted there straight.
Look, if you are gonna retell an episode, at least make the inserts good. Otherwise I might as well go watch the show again.
YAY
24.media.tumblr.com/e37b57cc546f1b6807ddca782832cc5b/tumblr_msh46aLFpx1szjzzno8_r2_250.gif
We all know he had a smile on his face when he suggested that.
Oh Wesker, your brain-to-mouth filter burned out several chapters ago, maybe it is time to replace it.
3670893
Actually if you read the earlier chapters, he pinpoints the fact that the whole situation was going to be resolved by both her friends realising the problem and her coming to terms with it. He doesn't agree with the sentiments echoed, he's just trying to speed the situation along before concussion strikes.
Feel free to rewatch the episodes though, I'm not exactly broken up about it.
3670896
Haha, that's the reaction I was going for.
3670909
That's the perfect reaction gif for that.
3670910
I think it's been burnt out ever since he arrived in Equestria. Maybe even during the final boss fight of RE5.
3670915 It's out of character knowledge, that Twilight can handle the Ursa + Why the hell would he be tinkling about correcting Twilight's feelings after being slapped by a bear? Slapped by bear = not thinking "Maybe if she could come to terms wit her feelings and do something I never seen her do before..."
That ending was gold.
3670965
Feel free to rewrite the chapter and submit it to me at iamdanny0@hotmail.co.uk. I don't want to be a dick about this but I'm amazed this is the first out of character thing you've noticed, it's kind of difficult to take a character from an 18-rated game and plonk him into MLP and not have there be a little bit of slippage.
I will admit that I didn't put that bit in there to further character development, I just found the idea of Wesker getting hit by a giant bear then shouting friendship advice to Twilight really funny. Sue me.
Wesker the filter from your brain to your mouth needs to be replaced every 500,000,000 words or after every 100,000, miles or after every dip into a volcano
THE FIC LIVES
and now they DIE
3671082
Good chapter. Keep up the good work.
Screw moustaches, the colts must die!
No karate kicking the bear? That was the scene I had been hoping for since Trixie showed up.
Oh thank goodness! I was starting to think you had given up on the fic.
well as cool as wesker throwing it out of town would have been, this is good too. glad to see the author lives.
This was the first fic i added to my favorites and i still love it keep it up
Leave it to the psychopath to give the only good suggestion on how to deal with those two
3671082 Ouch
Do I hear flesh sizzling?
The most badass Resident Evil villain is now in Equestria. You have doomed them all!
3671202
Do you really think he'd ruin his suit even further just for the sake of a city full of future enemies of his? Ponyville's gonna have to be wiped off the map if Wesker intends to conquer Equestria, you know 
static1.fjcdn.com/comments/Trollestia+And+what+did+you+learn+about+today+Sweetie+Belle+_ddfabe4c158d60544d52db31030ec7fb.jpg
Wesker chewed out an Ursa Minor haha
Entertaining chapter and another episode done.
nice idea bro
3672486 That... Is the single most epic moment of the chapter.
Life's not that important. I mean, It's overrated anyway. With that said, when's the next chapter coming?
That… actually was a good suggestion, IMO.
The two kinda could've killed Trixie if the Ursa attacked her, a few buildings were damaged or destroyed (we don't even know if there were any ponies in them that could've been hurt or killed), and due to the first situation being averted, Wesker could have been in danger (to their knowledge).
Giving mustaches isn't really the appropriate "punishment" in reality. ¬.¬
Never, ever leave us again. This fic is amazing.
Wonder if Rarity heard him praising her tailoring? That might entail an interesting discussion eh?
Poor Wesker he had just gotten the suit before he had to say goodbye.
Still it's not as if the author will let such magnificence just fade away... right?
Death? Sounds fair.
Every time this updates I become very happy. That being said, I will say that it's of my opinion that these episode based plot arcs are definitely the weakest parts of the story. Wesker's presence doesn't really add much and they feel a lot like filler. Of course, this is your story and you've gotta write it the way you want to, but I hope you aren't planning on doing every episode of the show. Sure, I'd love to see Wesker at the G3 (Grand Galloping Gala) or maybe get love poisoned by the CMC in place of Big Mac, but it just seems like the episode based plots don't benefit much from Wesker's inclusion. Likewise, the episode plots don't add much to Wesker's character development.
Regardless, this story is still a ton of fun to read and is still among my top favourites! I look forward to more! Happy holidays! Exclamation point!
3679619
I know exactly what you mean, I keep trying to think of ways that Wesker being included could alter the dynamic of the episode but I always come up blank during the early episodes. That's just me being a tad dopey.
Just between you and me though, the next two episodes will take place 'off screen' as it were and Wesker will have unrelated escapades. I have one pretty good idea of what'll happen during 'Look Before you Sleep' but I'm still sketching out concepts for what old Weskie will do during 'Dragonshy'
3680210
The multiple voive thing makes me wonder what other voices he hears inside.
DEAAAATH!!!
3683723
(Sorry. I just had to)
3686384 That's exactly what I was referencing, as I think of Lord of the Rings constantly since first watching it just about ten years ago.
3693002 Right?! I immediately thought of that scene when I first saw your comment.
It really sticks with you.
3680210 Meh to that guy's opinion. You know it already, most likely, but I'mma just say it again: Wesker's take on the episodes is actually one of my favorite parts of this fic. His cynical, methodic, void-of-naïveté viewpoint clashes hard with the ponies' and gives canon a whole new flavor.
3670909 Be honest, didn't you?
That chapter ending doe. "Death?" I lost it.
Loving this story.
Especially the way you are balancing the level of deviation from the original episodes.
One thing you did miss by doing this ep from memory was Rarity referring to herself in the third person while "refusing" to challenge Trixie. Would have been a good show of character depth and flaw for Wesker to notice that little unconscious ego self consciousness slip.
Also you never gave a reason Pinkie wasn't there. Preparing a party for Trixie would have worked.
The only other general complaint I have regarding the story is that you seem to be massively undervaluing pony strength and speed. While I would expect Wesker to have more overall ability than any one pony, we have seen all of the Mane 6 minus Fluttershy carry immense loads and pull them too. To say nothing of Bic Mac's escapades. Dash has burst speeds on the ground comparable to Wesker's, and pegasi can do one ton bench presses with their wings. Also, while I consider that Gilda in particular and griffons in general are formidable, ponies have demonstrated combat abilities that are on par if not superior. After all, a hoof will knock your block off, armor or no. Claws, not effective on armor.
Also war with ponies is unlikely when ponies maintain the harmony of the world, not to mention its day/night cycles.
Not huge dealie-os, just my take.
Look forward to more when it comes!
Loving this fic <33, love how angry Albert got for his suit being ruined that rarity made him XD! Surprisingly he has been getting along well with the elements with very very amusing limit with rainbow. Though I think Big Mac, Fluttershy and Twighlight seem to have most of his respect and "affections" if you can call it that xD. Some of the most hilarious parts are him and Nurse Redheart's interactions.
Okay, that whole bit around Wesker claiming an ability to sing was decidedly humorous.