Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Final Part.
Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Final Part
Author's Note: I'm going update crazy! (Comparatively) Bask in the glow my friends. Hope you enjoy, this is the last chapter which links in with Griffon the Brush-Off. Next will be another dream sequence (Not based on any RE game footage) then Boast Busters. You guys are amazing and I love you. Beta’d by the wonderful REV6Pilot.
Watching a flustered and disbelieving Gilda attempting to intimidate an oblivious Pinkie Pie whilst casting nervous glances in his direction ranked fairly high on the list of Wesker's favourite moments in Equestria.
His little eye-modifying stunt was still incredibly amusing to him, but he felt somewhat disquieted now. What if toying with their ability to remerge at will led to the effect remaining permanently? He checked his reflection in the window of Sugarcube Corner slightly nervously, and was relieved to make eye contact with steely blue irises. Clearly that ability would have to be rationed carefully; Wesker would hate to end up a monster amongst normal civilians again with only himself to blame.
It would be more appropriate if your exterior matched your interior, Albert.
Wouldn't it just? That wasn't the way things worked, however. Particularly with Umbrella employees... though they usually ended up being no better than the monsters they helped create.
Present company excluded. Right Albert?
This line of thought was doing nothing to improve the ex-officer's mood, so he decided to scout the room for any distractions. Luckily, he was spared the effort of having to seek them out by Applejack nudging his shoulder and whispering into his ear, "Sheesh, that Gilda sure looks nervous. You think she's shy? Lotta people to meet at once."
Wesker smirked without facing her. "Something like that, I'm sure."
She cast a sidelong glance at the smugly relaxed former scientist. "Or you have something to do with it." The mare examined him closely with more than a slight hint of suspicion. "Ya didn't tell her what y'all think of her, did ya? Trying to scare her off?"
Wesker placed a hoof across his chest in mock hurt. "Oh my wounded heart, would I ever do something so antagonistic?"
Applejack snorted, rolling her eyes, before walking away from the snickering stallion.
The key to enjoying this party seemed to lie in gently riling the arrogant griffon without it boiling over into outright confrontation. Years of experience in letting Umbrella peons know that he hated them without actually using those actual words suggested to Wesker that he could have a great deal of fun here.
Not to mention that Miss Pinkie's plan was running at full power, making his inclusion wholly optional.
Gilda exited Pinkie Pie's company and was attempting to walk dazedly towards the various snacks that had been laid out for the occasion; Pinkie Pie zipped after her and held her tight whilst addressing the room, to the Griffon's obvious distaste. "I'd like you all to meet Gilda, a long time friend of Rainbow Dash! Let's honour her and welcome her to Ponyville!"
The hybrid gave an awkward smile that looked more like a grimace to Wesker, as friendly welcoming voices rang out through the establishment and a beaming Rainbow Dash strolled over to place an affirming hoof on the Griffon's shoulder.
The bubblegum coloured earth pony smiled warmly and indicated towards the snack table. "Please help yourself."
The shaded stallion strolled over to examine the various foodstuffs on display – and to keep a closer eye on the guest of honour. Some rather delicious looking lemon drops caught his eye, and he reached in a hoof in just as Gilda commented aloud, "Ooh, vanilla lemon drops, don't mind if I do!"
Claw met hoof in the recesses of the bowl and the griffon's head snapped up and her eyes narrowed as she realised its owner. An idea rose unbidden into Wesker's mind... What if these confections were part of another prank? They were situated a noticeable distance away from the other snacks after all...
He grinned. "My apologies, Miss Gilda. Of course the main guest has first pick." With a mocking flourish, he withdrew his limb and took a dramatic step backwards. The griffon scoffed and insolently tossed one of the candies into her mouth.
The effect was instantaneous, spectacular and every bit as wonderful as Wesker had anticipated. First her eyes began to water, then beads of sweat began to drip down her face before impressive gouts of flame issued forth from her beak. Clearly these candies had some form of latent enchantment within them that was conditioned to react to saliva.
That book wasn't wasted on you, was it Al?
Certainly not. He had devoured the knowledge within and was still eager to finish it, but that was neither here nor there.
A grinning Rainbow Dash pointed her friend towards the punch bowl and the sputtering griffon was only too willing to oblige, moving at a supersonic rate to reach the liquid relief. Once there, however, the glass she attempted to drain poured its contents down her chest and left her fuming, in more ways than one.
Pinkie Pie giggled. "Well what do you know? Pepper in the vanilla lemon drops and the punch served in a dribble glass."
Pepper, Al. Not a latent enchantment. I swear, you over-think things all the time.
But... the fire...
He shrugged off his own attempt to grapple with the logical consistencies of the situation; this was orchestrated by Pinkie Pie, after all. Wesker was just glad that most of the fundamental tenets of the universe were being adhered to.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash chortled. "Priceless!"
A far less amused Gilda groped for a real glass and flung its contents into her open mouth, glaring at Wesker, who was not attempting to hide his amusement. In his defence, neither were Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash, but he supposed the griffon had given up trying to marshal the earth pony and she had to accept the light-hearted mockery of her old pegasus friend. But now she was staring at Wesker, daring him to carry on with his laughter.
Bad idea, G...
Wesker smiled serenely, slowly sliding a real glass of punch off the counter and gently sipping it, "Tastes much better when you savour it, honey." He peered at her over the tops of his glasses. "Afraid I'll have to give the lemon drops a miss, though."
Wesker's taunting grin remained firmly fixed in place as the griffon struggled to repress a snarl. By casting a glance over his shoulder, the stallion was able to see Twilight Sparkle giving him a look that was somewhere between disapproving and jovial; he returned the fleeting gaze with a wide grin, turning back to his frowning rival. "I hope you're not taking me too seriously, Miss Gilda; after all, I am just a 'dweeb'. What's some light-hearted banter between friends?"
You're having far too much fun here, Al... and I love you for it!
The storm of emotions that played out upon the agitated griffon's face as she desperately attempted to restrain them was disappointingly cut short by Rainbow Dash pointing out the various gifts laid out on the far end of the room. Wesker and multiple other ponies followed in the eager female's wake as she dashed towards the presents, meaning that Twilight was able to stroll past the remorseless stallion and mutter a 'be nice!' in his ear.
He angled his head to make eye contact. "I believe you'll find my behaviour has been impeccably kind and welcoming."
The unicorn scowled as she considered this. "Fine, then be less nice!"
Snorting amusedly, the blond earth pony settled down to watch Gilda open the first of her gifts and found his merriment increasing exponentially once the present erupted with paper snakes, leaving the griffon startled and tense and reminding Wesker of a certain incident in the S.T.A.R.S. office which had occurred what felt like several lifetimes ago.
"Spitting snakes!" Applejack chuckled. "Someone pulled that prank on me last month."
Gilda rolled her eyes. "Ha ha," she responded flatly, "I bet I know who that was."
The venomous glare directed her way didn't faze Pinkie Pie. "You do?"
You know Al, she's either that oblivious or she's actually a total genius.
Wesker had previously shared the same thought; it was rather unnerving.
The griffon stepped back from the assorted offerings with a glower and looked around the room, once more making accidental eye contact with the former scientist.
It's happened too many times to be an accident. There's real chemistry here, Al.
Eurgh. Wesker had vomited at the last party he had attended at Sugarcube Corner, and if Joy made another joke like that, odds are this celebration would end similarly.
Gilda was still staring daggers at Wesker and he felt duty-bound to acknowledge it. There was no way he was simply going to ignore her. The corners of his mouth twitched as he nodded lightly in her direction, causing her scowl to deepen even further until Rainbow Dash gave her a playful tap on the shoulder. "What's up, G? You've got your own Pinkie Pie party; ponies would kill for this chance!"
Glare rapidly switched to wide-eyed surprise. "Nothin's wrong, Dash. I'm really glad to be meeting all your friends."
Griffons are really crap actors, Al.
But most ponies appear to be inherently kind and trusting, meaning that nopony would question her beyond face value. A shame, really.
Then, Rainbow Dash said the words the blond had been savagely looking forward to. "Well, let me introduce you to everypony."
She started with acquaintances, ponies Wesker had seen around Ponyville but had no name to associate them to, such as 'Berry Punch' and 'Carrot Top'. Lyra was included in the extensive sweep round of the current inhabitants of Sugarcube Corner, and Wesker nodded lightly in her direction as she was introduced.
Finally, a bored-looking Gilda was waved in the direction of Rainbow's closest friends... and him. "You already know Pinkie Pie."
A twitch on the griffon's palpebra revealed that she did indeed know the mare.
"This is Applejack, owner of Sweet Apple Acres, maker of the best darn apples in Equestria!"
The Stetson-wearing pony smiled bashfully and nodded politely at the griffon.
"Here we've got Twilight Sparkle, chief egghead of Ponyville and..."
Rainbow trailed off at the unicorn's furrowed brow, rapidly moving onto her next friend. "Rarity. She makes some awesome dresses, not that I'd ever wear them, you know, G."
Rarity's disapproving look melted away at Rainbow's apologetic smile. "Well, it's an absolute pleasure to see you, Miss Gilda. So nice to finally meet one of Rainbow Dash's old friends."
The griffon mumbled something non-committal and the cyan pegasus moved on to a cowering yellow mare. "This here's Fluttershy, she can tame any animal ever!"
The meek pegasus squeaked as Gilda frowned in recognition, her claws curling inwards involuntarily, before the former darted away to the other side of the room. Rainbow threw a sheepish look at her old friend. "She's kinda shy though."
Finally, she indicated towards him. "And this guy is Al..." It was obvious she was going to leave it at that, but the stallion's sharp, convincing look, she reluctantly continued, "...bert Wesker."
He smiled thinly. "We've met. Though I'm sure it's good to put a name to a face." He extended a hoof, "A pleasure to be introduced properly."
For a brief, glorious moment, Wesker thought that the griffon would perhaps lunge for him and give him an excuse to end her miserable existence. Sadly, it was not to be and she merely grasped his limb with her claw and pressed... fairly... hard...
Hmm, that's not really very friendly.
At least she was being subtle about it; the pressure she was exerting was certainly painful, but he wouldn't have to suffer through the embarrassment of somepony 'leaping to his defence'. Besides, it didn't quite compare to dissolving in lava or being impaled by a bio-engineered killing machine. Compared to such incident, it was actually quite relaxing.
Wesker offered a lazy grin and an arched eyebrow as the griffon tried to press down harder without revealing the extra exertion to those present, finding the situation eminently hilarious. "Well, that's a firm hoofshake you have there, Miss Gilda. I believe that means you're trustworthy."
Eventually, a visibly irritated Gilda abandoned the endeavour and released Wesker's lightly aching hoof. Luckily, those present were spared having to analyse what on earth was going on by Pinkie Pie wheeling in a monstrous baked good. "Cake time, everypony!"
"Hey!" Spike eagerly raised a claw. "Can I blow out the candles?"
Twilight smiled in good natured admonishment. "Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles, Spike? She is the guest of honour, after all."
The so-called 'guest of honour' chose this moment to heavily elbow the baby dragon out of the way, "Exactly!"
Huh, maybe you being so much stronger than Gilda made her think that she had a point to prove, Al.
Maybe she's just a horrible bitch.
Could be that, too.
The griffon inhaled deeply before blowing, snuffing out all the candles in one breath and beaming arrogantly in the direction of the assembled ponies. As though inflamed by the heat of Wesker's veiled hatred, the candles relit themselves. A markedly less confident Gilda blew them out once more. And for the third time, the wax creations refused to stay unlit.
The griffon appeared to take the laughter of all those assembled rather personally, battling to blow out the cake's ornaments several more times, until she realised the futility.
"Relighting birthday candles, I love that prank!" Spike snickered. "What a classic."
Gilda, panting heavily, appeared less inclined to agree, but the purple lizard was spared whatever rebuke was coming his way by Pinkie Pie giggling. "Now I wonder who could've done that...?"
She might be better at this than you are, Al.
Gilda managed to avoid snarling outright at the rambunctious mare, settling instead for heavy sarcasm. "Yeah, I wonder..."
Spike rather carelessly decided to make himself the focus of attention again as he burrowed inside the cake, "Who cares? This cake is amazing!"
"Spike!" Twilight responded in shocked fashion.
Gilda looked ready to explode with rage before Rainbow Dash cooled her friend's fiery temper, and the party proceeded without incident... for around 3 seconds. With a plate of the quite delicious cake nestled firmly in his hoof, Wesker saw Gilda grab Pinkie Pie whilst others focused their attention elsewhere and drag her into cover behind the cake, so he edged closer to catch their conversation.
"I'm watching you... like a hawk!"
"Why? Can't you watch me like a griffon?"
His sudden explosion of laughter did not result in him choking to death on pink cake... but that was only through sheer luck.
Once more, the situation was rectified by another interruption, this time Applejack announcing a game of 'pin the tail on the pony'.
In fairness, Al, I don't think she can create more of a scene than you did during this game.
Rarity's eyes lit up. "Oh, my favourite game! Can I go first? Can I have the purple tail?"
Just as the fashionista reached to pick it up, the griffon swooped in and snatched, "Well, I'm the guest of honour and I'll have the purple tail!"
Rarity stared distastefully at the obnoxious guest's back as the latter strutted towards the board, before turning away and inadvertently making eye contact with Wesker, who simply offered a sympathetic smile in return. Pinkie Pie remained relentlessly upbeat. "Gilda should definitely go first! Let's get you blindfolded."
Spike duly obliged despite the player's protests and the hyperactive earth pony spun the griffon around so fast it made even Wesker dizzy. "We're spinning you around and around and then you can pin the tail on the pony!" She gently guided Gilda towards the wall. "Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail."
"Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail," she parroted mockingly. "Yeah right, this is another prank, isn't it? I'm going this way!"
With that bold, but utterly moronic, declaration, she strode off... in the opposite direction of her goal.
"Wait! The poster's this way."
Unfortunately for Gilda and very fortunately for Wesker's desire to see the griffon brought down several pegs, Pinkie's warning came too late. She stepped on a puddle of pink icing and slid impressively for a few metres before crashing into the door of Sugarcube Corner. As she stood groggily to her feet, the purple tail dangled loosely from her beak, looking uncannily like a purple-dyed moustache. "Uh Gilda, you pinned the tail on the wrong end."
Wesker could swear the phrase 'the straw that broke the camel's back' was designed for this very moment.
Gilda let out an enraged roar, flinging the tail into the recesses of the room, and shaking with fury as she hovered in the air. "This is your idea of a good time?! I've never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life!"
Wesker smirked triumphantly as the diatribe continued.
Good work, Pinkie Pie...
"And Pinkie Pie! You! You are Queen Lame-O, with your weak little party pranks! Did you really think you could make me lose my cool?! Well Dash and I have ten times as much cool as the rest of you put together!" Wesker was pleasantly surprised to see the pegasus in question glare angrily at her griffon friend as she went on. "Come on, Dash, we're bailing on this pathetic scene!"
The pegasus remained perfectly still, frowning disapprovingly at Gilda, who carried on with renewed fury, "Come on Rainbow Dash, I said we're leaving!"
Rainbow took a deep breath, "You know Gilda, I was the one who set up all those 'weak pranks' at this party."
The griffon's anger dissipated momentarily as she attempted to adjust to this revelation, something she had in common with Wesker. "What?!" both said in practiced unison.
Pinkie's noise of astonishment was followed by an indignant Rainbow continuing, "So I guess I'm 'Queen Lame-O'."
Rainbow's explanation that the pranks weren't actually intended to all be for Gilda appeared to be lost on the flustered hybrid. "No way! It was Pinkie Pie; she set up this party to trip me up! To make a fool of me!"
Pinkie reeled from the accusation, "Me? I threw this party to improve your attitude! I thought a good party might turn that frown upside down!"
Huh... Didn't see this coming, Al.
Rainbow carried on from where Pinkie left off, pacing accusingly towards Gilda, "And you sure didn't need help making a fool of yourself. You know, this is not how I thought my old friends would treat my new friends. If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should find some new 'cool' friends someplace else."
Gilda went to respond angrily, but Wesker stepped forward and cut her off with a raised hoof, playing the mediator for once. "Just save what little dignity you have and leave. We've had to endure your odious presence for far longer than is pleasant."
What happened next was almost too quick for the naked eye to process.
Roaring wildly, the livid griffon lunged blindly towards Wesker with her claws outstretched. Her quarry, entirely upon reflex, lifted himself onto his hind legs and twisted elegantly to the side.
The powerful kick launched to the side of Gilda's skullwasn't hindered in the least by the humanoid martial stance not matching Wesker's now equine body shape. The hind hoof connected with a 'crack' that echoed throughout the bakery.
The stunned ponies assembled around the perfectly unconscious griffon, sharing the shocked glances directed at her with the stallion's visage.
He sought desperately for a distraction and decided he needed to create it himself. "Would anypony like some cake?"
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The win...so...much...win
well done wesker!
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Leave it to Wesker to beat someone up in one kick then calmly offer cake immediately afterwards.
Albert Wesker, You just made Ponies think he took Karate. This... may not be far away from the truth.
That's for roaring at Fluttershy! KA-POW!
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You made my day, sir
I liak dis story, MOAR CHAPTERS NAO!
Hahahahaha!
Best chapter yet!
I can't even begin to describe how exciting this is. I'm really curious to see how he's going to explain that (besides it being fully in self defense).
1038321 what episode of one piece is that?
Cake always makes me forget badass moments nice thinking Wesker!
keep it up man, your on a role. next have wesker meet blueblood. i'm sure he'll just LOVE that.
a beat up gilda and cake aswell.........best. party. ever.
Boast Busters is coming up next? i can already see it, "Wesker tried his best to hold in the laughter as he witnessed Rainbow being rapped up in a rainbow"
And this chapter was awesome!
1038243 Remember: subtlety is important.
Well, that escalated quickly.
If that's Gilda's treatment from Wesker, I can't exactly fathom the treatment Trixie will receive. Aside from some carefully laid condescending banter, of course. All in all, this was most satisfying this chapter...I wonder if I should make a fic that was centered around certain episodes of the show...
hmmmm... I foresee Wesker losing control and committing crimes.
And....
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Dude, Wesker is just winning! he got to blow off some steam, get in a good laugh, and watch as someone arrogant was beaten down. Keep goin and stay golden^^
Too good, was hoping for an axe kick though.
Awsome chapter!!
Really liked the knock-out kick from Wesker
, but poor Gilda
losing a life long friend.
You cannot feel the amount of joy I feel right now.
1038595 You just told Captain Literal about the importance of subtlety.
Not sure if that's irony, but it is amusing.
It's hard not to love every moment in this story ever forever. I laugh every single time there's an update. It's just one of the most innocently amusing things I think I've ever read.
Don't worry Wesker if you think hard enough you might spontanously combust.
AHHH MORE WESKER.... I CAN FEEL HIS POWER IRRADIATING THROUGH THE SKIES! (Ouroburos?)
Oh Celestia! Oh Celestia.......destroyed.
"You're nothing to me!"
1039200 Good that you think that
Would anyone like some cake I laughed at that last part
See, she should've just listened to Wesker. Then she'd be conscious and have a shade of dignity.
That kick to Gilda's head almost rivals Wesker's 'throw sunglasses then proceed to kick your ass' strategy from RE5.
Very well done! I can't wait to see how you tie in some other episodes like this! If these chapters were a sign of how good this story will get, brains are going to explode!
For your future chapters (sorry if this is a bit ahead of schedule) do you plan on following the episodes with the addition of Wesker or creating your own? And if so will you do follow the episodes will Fall Weather Friends be before Winter Roundup? I always wondered why they had them in the wrong seasonal order on the show.
1040900
I'm planning to insert Wesker into the actual episodes but I may go off on a tangent at times or have him on the outskirts doing something separate.
And I think I'll switch it round so that Fall Weather Friends will be before Winter Roundup, that always confused me.
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Never.
1041270 Hey, Danny, where's the update to the proofread version? I already sent you the file!
Hahaha! The bitch deserved it.
So much awsome in this chapter!
I like this story, but I notice that it is staying very close to the episode in terms of plot, often describing the same exact sequences and dialogue, with inserts of Wesker interspersed. It would be more interesting if there was more original content, and it relied on the episode plots less. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I enjoy the parts of this story that are completely distinct from the episodes, but I get bored when I read parts that are literally taken right out of the episodes, albeit with a few Wesker inserts.
This is amazing. I can easily picture al knocking gilda on her ass, then pretending it didn't happen
amazing
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I am following you since the beginning in FF.net, good to see it here as well.
Keep up buddy this story is amazing!
Wonderful Story so far!
Ah good Ol' violence..............I wonder how the others will react to that ending??
You've written the best Wesker ever possible.
Anything with Wesker.
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Oh wow.
I'm so glad I logged on this morning and decided to read this. The following 24 hours will be full of joviality.
theirs Wesker in all his badasserey.
An the plot thickens to the point of a slice of cake....
Why can I carry all this win???
Splendid show, old chap!
Against all logic and prior evidence, this fic is actually amazing.
1064359
would anyone like some cake?
fucking exactly what i was thinking