Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Part II
Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Part II
Author’s Note: Wesker meets Gilda! Let me know what you think. Love you all for your feedback and for just being yourselves too.
Pinkie Pie defying the laws of gravity had surprisingly little impact upon Wesker, he had realised long ago that the magenta mare defied the vast majority of the laws of the universe... even more than this entire world did. Attempting to comprehend how her mind functioned was a task even he was not capable of completing. Besides, he had far more vital errands to undertake, specifically the study of Equestria as a whole.
He realised that trying to seize the Elements of Harmony directly was almost certainly doomed to failure; they were inherently geared towards those whose personalities reflected what they represented. Therefore he would merely have to reinvest his efforts into finding a workaround to that particular issue; he had plenty of time in which to do so. After a fair trek he found himself within the pristine Ponyville town centre once more and found a comfortable looking bench on which he could continue his reading. Running contrary to that aim, however, before Wesker could seat himself, was a rapidly spinning Pinkie Pie heading towards the ground at an alarming rate and once he analysed her trajectory, it seemed as though she was heading... straight... towards... him...
Oh God, you can’t avoid it now Al, just try and stop her from having a horrible crash.
How??
With your invincible body.
WHAM!! The solid contact of the hyperactive earth pony’s flying device ripped the air from the blond stallion’s lungs and sent him hurtling backwards, landing heavily upon his back. As though that wasn’t enough punishment enough from the universe, the strength of the impact caused Pinkie to be thrown from her seat and launched directly towards Wesker. She didn’t appear to be particularly fazed, however...
“Wheeeeeeeeeee!”
She landed directly upon the stricken former scientist as he did his best to both shield himself and catch her at the same time, resulting in a battered Wesker breathing heavily as a surprisingly composed and nonchalant Pinkie Pie lay atop of him. She made tentative eye contact:
“Hello Ally!”
“Get off of me.”
“Okie Dokie Lokie.” She sprung onto her hooves, causing the blond to wheeze at the brief compression the movement caused before he groaned and slowly hauled himself upright to join the instantly alert Pinkie Pie, “Sorry about that Ally, are you okay?”
Wesker popped the joints in his neck, “I am alive and that is no small feat.” He gestured towards the now wrecked flying device, “Did your machine finally realise it was breaching the known laws of the universe and stop working?”
Pinkie stroked her chin thoughtfully, “No... that mean old Gilda made me crash! I can’t believe a Griffon could be so mean! Even though I don’t know anything about Griffons... but I assumed that they wouldn’t be that mean. I need to tell Twilight about this!”
With a final apology and a discarding of her crash helmet, she darted off towards the library, leaving Wesker to dust himself off and shake his head disbelievingly as he picked his saddlebag up and carefully sat himself down on his bench of choice, which now seemed like an awful decision, considering its position with relation to air disasters.
It seemed apparent that Pinkie Pie getting into various crashes was nothing new in Ponyville; though many ponies came to check if he was all right, none of them expressed any degree of shock that she had plunged from the sky in such an abnormal contraption. Once he had shrugged off the incident and started to read a particularly fascinating tome on the concept and nature of magic, one final pony came to see if he was still functioning.
“Hey. Are you all right?”
He peeked around the corner of the book; it was an orange-eyed cyan unicorn mare with a sky blue mane which contained a sole white streak running through it. She possessed what appeared to be a harp cutie mark but Wesker made a mental note to not examine it too closely, strangers tended to dislike intense scrutinisation of their rears. He gave the newcomer a thin smile, “Indeed, it was a good job I was here to catch Miss Pinkie. I assume this kind of thing happens often?”
She chuckled lightly, “Pretty much, it’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. I mean, ponies call me quirky but there’s no use in even trying to understand her. I’m Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings. What’s your name?”
Small talk. Fantastic. “My name is Albert Wesker; it’s a pleasure, Miss Heartstrings.”
She beamed in response, “Same. Don’t think I’ve seen you in Ponyville before, Albert, when did you get here?”
He hid his desire to return to his reading as soon as possible, she was pleasant enough and it wasn’t as though he was in a tremendous hurry, “A few days ago, I awoke in Sweet Apple Acres with amnesia.”
The mare clunked a hoof against her forehead, “Jeez, of course! I was at your party, I remember you catching that cake... that was amazing!”
He smiled once more, in a warmer fashion this time, “My thanks, I must admit I wanted to save it for fairly selfish reasons, I hadn’t had my slice yet.”
She laughed out loud and Wesker noted how easy she was to get along with, with no signs of the ‘quirkiness’ she had mentioned earlier. As the conversation flowed, however, she eventually showed a sign of her eccentricities, one which shocked Wesker. “Ah, you’re reading about magic, right?” He nodded, “Tell me something... Do you believe in humans?”
The book slipped from his grasp and landed heftily upon the ground as he sluggishly rotated to face her, “What?”
The magnitude of his reaction caused her to falter, “Well, it’s just that... I was kind of wondering...”
Wesker interrupted her seamlessly, a knowing smirk on his lips to hide his surprise, “I do, Miss Heartstrings. Irrevocably. Why do you ask?”
Lyra grinned joyfully in response, “I knew I’d find someone, Bon Bon always says that I shouldn’t bother people by talking about fairytales but I always thought that somepony with an interest in magic would agree with me.”
Wesker scratched a hoof across his chin as he attempted to puzzle out how this was even possible, “What can you tell me about humans?”
She leaned forwards, clearly eager to be discussing her favourite topic, “Apparently they existed thousands and thousands of years ago, even before Celestia, humans used to be the number one race in Equestria but one day they suddenly disappeared and ponies were able to take control.”
He cocked his head to the side, something about the way she was discussing it made him highly suspicious, “I assume this isn’t a widely held theory, Miss Lyra?”
The mare’s ears flattened against her cranium nervously, “Not exactly Albert, it’s kind of... my theory.”
Wesker hummed in consideration as his brain made multiple calculations, “How exactly did you come up with this theory? What do you believe a human to be?”
She looked even more anxious as she struggled to come up with an answer, “Don’t think that I’m crazy...”
He smirked, “I’ll try my best.”
“I kind of had a dream about humans, and I knew that it was true. Ponies sort of have an idea of what they are but most of them think they’re mythological creatures. They stand on two legs and they have ‘hands’ and ‘feet’.” Lyra’s tongue struggled over the foreign words but she pressed on, “Pony historians don’t think they ever existed but they do agree that if they did then they wouldn’t have been capable of magic, because they don’t have a horn.”
Albert Wesker was in a world where talking ponies were the norm but humans were the stuff of myths and legends. He couldn’t bring himself to truly accept that fact, even his experiences in Equestria so far only went part way to convincing him he was an active participant in reality and this bizarre coincidence made him consider that position very carefully. “That makes sense Miss Lyra and for what it’s worth, I place a great deal of faith within your theory.”
She responded gratefully and informed the former STARS captain that she had to leave but that he was very welcome to talk to her whenever he wanted. Wesker’s musings regarding the unicorn once she had left were cut short by the appearance of Pinkie Pie across the market square, she appeared distracted and upset whilst sipping forlornly at a milkshake but Wesker was almost certain that he wouldn’t be able to comprehend her woes, even if she told him directly. He would guess that Miss Sparkle had told Pinkie something she didn’t wish to hear; maybe she had told the earth pony that she should stop attempting flight.
If only...
Far outweighing the presence of Pinkie Pie, however, was the arrival of Rainbow Dash and a bizarre Lion/ Eagle hybrid creature Wesker assumed to be ‘Gilda the Griffon’. Unbeknownst to the pair of them, both Wesker and Pinkie Pie were examining them very closely indeed. Once Rainbow Dash took flight, the newly arrived Griffon strutted arrogantly around the market square, doing nothing to endear herself to the blond stallion.
Friends with Rainbow Dash, eh? What a shock that the pegasus would keep such company...
It appeared as though many of the ponies in Ponyville were too polite to stare at Gilda, despite Pinkie making Wesker believe Griffons were rarely spotted within the small town. She sauntered over to one of the many fruit and vegetable stalls, terrifying an elderly citizen with a prank in the process before making a snide remark to the owner and departing.
Right, this one’s definitely a bitch Al, fire at will.
Wesker snorted internally, he didn’t care enough to confront her. Besides, she only had an attitude; it wasn’t any of his business if she wanted to act like a cretin. He noted Pinkie Pie speaking to herself as the green pensioner pony fled incredibly slowly, no doubt forming her own judgements on Gilda. Subsequently, the Griffon passed both Lyra and the pony Wesker assumed to be Bon Bon, using them as a cover to steal an apple from the stall they were perusing with her long, whip-like tail.
The flare of annoyance within Wesker was quickly extinguished by the sight of Fluttershy leading some ducks and ducklings through the town centre; he caught her eye as she passed and the pale yellow pegasus offered him a shy smile, one which he returned with a confident smirk. Then she accidentally collided with a careless Gilda.
“Please excuse me...” Fluttershy, as always, was meek and apologetic despite the fault lying with the lion/eagle hybrid.
Rather than begrudgingly accept the pegasus’ apology, as Wesker expected, Gilda retorted sharply, “I’m walking here!”
Hit her Al, hit her hit her hit her.
He sighed at Joy but nevertheless, he stood up and moved closer to the scene until he was only a few feet away.
Fluttershy once more attempted to stammer out an apology but was rudely and mockingly dismissed the Griffon, “Why don’t you just watch where you’re going dofus??”
She was advancing rapidly towards the mortified and teary-eyed pegasus as Wesker tracked alongside the pair and finally he could allow it no longer, “Is there a problem here?” The ice in the blond pony’s voice was palpable and he lowered his eyewear in order to deliver a glare which contained the contempt this tormenter warranted.
She halted in her tracks and turned away from a noticeably relieved Fluttershy to square up to her challenger, “Maybe. But I don’t see how it’s your business, dweeb.”
Rage flared up inside Wesker and he struggled to keep it under wraps, making sure his voice contained nothing but arctic warning “I am making it my business. The collision was your fault and you owe Miss Fluttershy an apology, one which she is far too good natured to wring out of you like you deserve.” He paused as his lip curled upwards, “I have no such qualms.”
She took a step forward in a misguided attempt to intimidate the former Umbrella scientist but looked mildly surprised when he stood firm and stared fiercely into her eyes. After a few tense moments, she waved a dismissive claw in his direction, “Whatever. All these lame ponies are driving me buggy, I gotta bail.” With that and a final furious glare at Wesker her wings spread and she soared upwards into the air.
Pinkie walked over towards where both the blond stallion and a shaking Fluttershy stood, seething with righteous indignation, “I can’t believe her! She’s a grump and a thief and a bully! The worst kind of mean meanie-pants there is!” Wesker nodded in agreement as he angrily watched the rapidly disappearing figure melt into the skyline, “This calls for extreme measures, Pinkie Pie style!”
Wesker furrowed his brow, he had only known the pink earth pony for a few days but he had an idea of what form these ‘extreme measures’ would take, “Let me guess... a party?”
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Of course, Wesker.
What problem can't be resolved by a Pinkie Party?
Yes, Wesker, a party. One you might enjoy, in fact.
Something I think you missed was that the elderly pony that Gilda terrified with a prank was Granny Smith, maybe he might have recognized her from earlier... either way, great new chapter! Can't wait for more.
897662
I would have mentioned that it was Granny Smith but I hadn't written about Wesker meeting Granny Smith so I thought I'd keep it vague.
897675 Well then.
...Wesker's going to have fun at that party.
897637
A Zombie outbreak?
I first started reading this on fanfiction.net, but then lost my place because i had to reformat my computer and lost all my bookmarks. i havnt been able to remember the title of the story until i saw it in the feature box a few minutes ago. I CAN FINALLY CONTINUE READING IT IT!!!!!
Wesker owns griffon.
897698
ZOMBIE DANCE PARTY
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night...
897747
If it's a dance party, then that would be a Zombie Jamboree, though those normally take place in cemeteries of New York
1) Bringing Lyra in was pure genius!
2) The contact with Gilda had me begging for more!
3) Oh yes, the party. I can only imagine what Wesker will be doing at the party.
This was amazing. Simply amazing. Definitely worth the wait.
I believe it's time to bust out the mic again...
This is most enjoyable to see Wesker put Gilda in her place
Yes! This pleases Dirty Bit!
i can only hope for what i always hope for when gilda enters a story....griffin death ^_^
I want to see weaker rip Gilda's wing off
898226 What about stronger rip Gilda? Don't you want to see her wing off too?
897675
I would say that you could say that he had, after all, he was staying with the apples for a few days now. Pretty reasonable if you ask me.
When I read that Wesker caught Pinkie, I thought of this:
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/203/a/8/re___mlp___weskie_pie___by_gothicemodeathkitty-d419jig.png
Human expert Lyra is best Lyra
encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ1_8kAzsyjTYWNjlYPBsEeBgnjZPyr5bXbrRIBNOT32c_DnWJf
Oh boy this next chapter is gon b guddl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png
HAHA! YES! Honestly, I'm glad you made Wesker fend off Gilda WITHOUT ripping her wings off. Totally fits his character better. Although, I still hope he does that sometime though. LET THE GILDA HATE COMMENCE! =D
898463
lol
898463 Best picture ever. Ever.
A shame his eyes didn't glow red. That would be cool.
311091 Same. Though I get 2 or 3 hours of sleep anyway.
898581i agree. showing gilda that glare probably woulda scared the living crap out of her.
899228
It's not too late. It can still happen. If the author has it in store, of course.
899362a mosaic, more like, of dark comedy.
898463
That picture is amazing.
899160
That too. But, Wesker's JaE is sarcastic, which Pinkie pie is not.
898307 hell yes I do
Yay! Fluttershy didn't run away crying like in the episode... not so manly tears were shed when I watched that. Hooray for updates.
Wesker hitting it off with Lyra+Wesker bringing a verbal smackdown on Gilda= EPIC!!!!
898850 ..... oh yeah. Thanks for correcting me.
You posted this right when I was at work man! Oh well, pony Wesker being chivalrous is best pony Wesker. Should've given him his eyes back for a brief moment for added effect but it's perfectly fine without it.
900622
Because its a community joke, like scootaloo being a chicken.
And the why?... well because Lyra sat like a human in Dragonshy.
Cool chapter, but isn't Lyra's coat mint green not Cyan
Oof - careful with your colours, there. As I recall, 'Magenta' is a purplish-pink, more fitting to Screwball than Pinkie, whose particular shade could be described as 'bubblegum'. And Lyra is more of a turquoise, rather than cyan - cyan better describes RD (I will admit that's a close judgement there, however).
Other than that - _awesome_ chapter. I laughed so hard at the Lyra scene, I hurt my ribs.
898463
That picture... I was staring at it for a good minute or two, and all I could think was 'eeeeEEEeee'. I can't even figure out why I broke - there's just something about Wesker holding Pinkie Pie that does it.
900378
Come back when you get the joke.
Smooth, Al. On another note:
897709 899683 This got featured? If so, then congrats, man. This story really deserves the attention.
1) Great chapter
2)Love how you brought Lyra into this, and how she knows of humans.
and 3) HOW!!!! HOW COULD I GO THROUGH 31 CHAPTERS IN LESS THEN A DAY!!!!!
Fish) Need more!... Need mor sooon
GOD DAMNIT, NOW I HAVE TO WAIT 2 MORE WEEKS... AHHHHHHH!
902771 I did I wanted to see what you'd say and you said exactly what I thought you would
902771 and that joke was terrible too
903211 Uh huh. Yeah, right, let's pretend I believe that. And as terrible as your grammar?
897747
Zombie dance party you say?
903483 no just as terrible as your reading skills
902771 which is borderlined to stupidity
907212 Oh, my reading skills? Because I read an extremely malformulated phrase and decide to play a little joke on it? My reading skills, the skills of someone that was accepted as a beta reader by the author of this very fanfic, without a single complaint for over twenty chapters?
You can keep making "no u" replies and making a fool out of yourself for as long as you want. In the end, we both will go to our beds knowing who is the immature, illiterate little kid here.
907234 ah my friend the illetirate child here is you you imbecile the reason why I don't spend my time on people like you Is well just simply I really just don't care but when someone insults my grammar it is going to get bad so go go and respond to this comment for the imbecile Is you be as loquacious as you can be let me see what you have boy
907410 So many punctuation marks, it blows my mind!
If you don't want people calling out on your grammar, you improve it. You don't keep calling people names. If you really think what you're doing is the right thing... The joke is on you.
Here, have Jesus petting Fluttershy to settle your nerves down.
static.fjcdn.com/comments/welxo+rolled+a+random+image+posted+in+comment+6384524+at+_08f4ca581b9c950709e376f8a1ea5627.jpg
907431 you know I may be calling people names but there is that undoubted fact that it is not a good thing to do. Honestly I don't like to put grammar in my sentences when i am typing on a site but still I'm sorry Kellar for calling your reading skills borderlined with stupidity. Will you forgive me or deny my act of forgiveness I do realize that it is wrong and I'm truly sorry just don't insult my grammar or I will see you in a battle of wits my friend but in all honesty I don't give a fat flying fuck excuse my language if anyone insults me but don't try it again
907464 Your words sound like a big, long "whatever" to me, but at least now I know you can write correctly.
Just don't let that lack of polish bleed into your usual writing. It can fuck you over ten times before you even notice it, be it at school, on the job, or anywhere, really. It's never good to pass the image of an ignorant simpleton.