Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off
Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Part I
Author’s Note: This story will now intermingle with actual episodes of the show. I don’t intend for this to become a simple rehash of stuff you’ve already seen. Wesker will be narrating the events from his own unique perspective... may only be on the periphery for some of them and could even change the course of certain episodes. Fingers crossed I do it justice. Enjoy.
Wesker had never really been a ‘morning person’. There were incontrovertible facts in life and one such fact was that the blond had instead always been a ‘night person’, as close to nocturnal without being so. Regardless of this, he had often been forced to awaken early due to endless work calling and he realised he could not maintain the ruse of being the captain of STARS if he slunk around the city at night, so he had reinvented himself as someone who was early to rise and early to bed. Thankfully, he had escaped this tiresome routine through his death and rebirth, not needing sleep much at all and instead working through the nights, grabbing a few hours of rest as his ambition allowed him to. Unfortunately for his tastes and his comfort, farm life meant that he would have to once more adopt an annoyingly regular sleeping pattern, minimising his productivity and generally causing him to loathe the world in general... more so than usual.
Dragging himself from his impromptu bed, Wesker glanced out of the window in order to ascertain what the world was going to throw at him today. He was unsurprised to see yet another gloriously sunny day, with birds chirping in the distance and the generally idyllic scene making him want to release another strain of Uroboros... just to disrupt the irritatingly peaceful nature of Equestria.
Only you could say ‘irritatingly peaceful’ like it’s a normal thing to say, Al
He was a firm believer in adversity strengthening an individual’s resolve and clarity of purpose. A place like this only encouraged sloth, coddled the weak and catered to the simple-minded. Wesker did not simply seek out meaningless challenges, he merely felt that life itself was a struggle and the true strength of a character’s willpower could be ascertained through trials and tribulations. Equestria offered neither and therefore created individuals like... Rainbow Dash, for instance.
Jeez, you’re such a bitch, Al.
The term ‘realist’ was preferable in the former scientist’s eyes but that would have to do. He made himself a quick sandwich and dragged himself outside. Applejack was there to greet him, watching amusedly as he rapidly devoured the consumable in order to allow himself to speak.
“A pleasure to see you, Miss Applejack... is there any work which must be finished at this ungodly hour?
She snorted in response, “Sheesh, you must be a city pony; I’ve been up for hours. You just got outta bed late and now you’re pretendin’ like you just achieved somethin’.”
Wesker waited patiently for the end of her diatribe, dismissing the notion of getting out of bed ‘late’, it was only eight ‘o’clock in the morning, “Indeed. Is there any work to be done? I am supposed to be seeing Nurse Redheart today.”
She snickered lightly, “Leavin’ a trail of broken hearts, huh Al?”
He let out a long-suffering sigh and rolled his eyes, “Possibly... or I am going to receive medical care. Considering the fact I was in hospital yesterday, I would suggest the latter is far more probable.” A knowing smirk was the orange earth pony’s only answer; how exacerbating, Birkin had been exactly the same, unwilling or unable to accept that he had little to no interest in romantic pursuits.
Indeed, I am sure you remember what happened the last time you indulged in such idle fancies, Albert...
The blond stallion had to repress an atypical full-body shudder at the memories that evoked and swiftly allowed Applejack to divert his attention as she gave an actual reply to his earlier enquiry, “Nah, you’re free to woo the nurse all you want, me and Big Macintosh have got it covered.”
As though summoned by his name, the large, red Stallion rounded the corner of the farmhouse pulling a colossal cartload of freshly picked apples. He gave a cursory nod to Wesker and an inquisitive look at Applejack, which triggered the blond mare into action.
“Right, we’re gonna take these to the barn, see ya later Al.”
He returned the farewell and trudged off towards the library. Miss Twilight still had his books and he wished to reclaim them; he also had the second meeting with Miss Redheart to contend with. Assumptions were dangerous little things but if he had to make one then he would guess that she would merely be testing the capabilities of his new body.
Huh, sounds dirty. Maybe Applejack was onto something Al?
It was like having a tiny William Birkin behind his frontal lobe. Wesker wasn’t sure whether it was nostalgically bearable or incredibly infuriating; either way, it was discarded from his thought process and he set off towards his errant saddlebag and the always enjoyable company of Miss Sparkle.
Will would probably have made some sort of crude joke involving genitalia at this point. I won’t. Sorry to disappoint, Al.
Ignored. A thousand times ignored.
You’re no fun.
With only the chattering of Joy to keep him company on the relatively long walk to the Ponyville library, it was with no small amount of relief that he finally arrived at the logic defying structure and banged (a touch too enthusiastically) on the solid wooden door. The inanimate victim of his boisterous knocking opened to reveal Miss Sparkle herself, rather than her dragon assistant; he allowed the purple unicorn a thin smile.
Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.
“Gah!”
Twilight gave the blond a baffled look, “Are you okay Albert? Did I startle you?”
Wesker ran a hoof through his mane whilst feeling both mortified and rather glad that she had provided a pre-packaged excuse for him to seize upon, “Yes, Miss Sparkle. My mind was elsewhere...” He smirked faintly, “Be grateful that it was not a repeat of the infamous balloon incident.”
She laughed and happily waved him inside, “True, though at least you looked surprised rather than bloodthirsty.”
Grimacing as soon as the mare’s back was turned he decided to do something he promised himself that he would never do. Barter with the voices.
Joy. No more.
Fine, I won’t do it again, Al... It was funny though.
No comment. Twilight turned to face him once he had stepped inside, “I’m guessing you’re here for all the books you left behind, huh?”
Pre-emptive reasoning? His respect for the lavender unicorn grew exponentially; she was truly unique amongst the other ponies he had met in this backwards village, “Quite. I have found myself somewhat careless recently, my thanks for safeguarding them.”
She smiled, “Of course, Albert. Even if you weren’t my friend, I couldn’t allow books to be damaged.” Giggling lightly at her own joke, she slowly paced towards Wesker’s saddlebag, unaware of the brief but sizable reaction the blond had experienced upon hearing the word ‘friend’, “What have you got planned for today, Albert?”
He shrugged off his surprise and traced her footsteps indolently, stopping outside of what he would consider to be her ‘personal space’, “I have an appointment with Miss Redheart to attend but besides that the rest of the day is my own to do what I wish with it.” A smirk crossed his lips as Twilight turned and levitated the saddlebag of hardbacks towards Wesker, “I believe I may read.”
She grinned in return, “I can’t think of many better ways to spend a day, especially a beautiful day like today.”
The former Scientist snorted with a trace of contemptuous disagreement, “I find my productivity is much increased on dark, rainy nights, the sunshine just encourages me to be idle.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, “You? Idle? I don’t think so.”
He gave the slightest hint of a smile, “More idle than usual then, dear heart.” Hefting the heavy saddlebag to ensure its weight was evenly distributed; he set off, “Goodbye Miss Sparkle, I hope to see you soon.”
She beamed and waved, “Same applies, Albert.” With that the door was shut via a purple cloud of magic and Wesker continued on his way towards the hospital. Before he could do that, however, he was passed by a most unusually clothed Pinkie Pie.
“I may regret asking this, Miss Pinkie, but why are you dressed like that?”
The hyperactive pink earth pony was wearing a pair of comedy ‘swirly lens’ glasses, complete with fake nose and moustache, not to mention a fake arrow going ‘through’ her head and a party popper affixed firmly to her lips. The latter caused a high pitched noise to emit every time she breathed outwards. “Hey, Ally. What’s going down in Hoovetown?”
Mentally shaking himself, he attempted valiantly to maintain a conversation, “Not much, Miss Pinkie. May I enquire as to the nature of your...” He struggled to find a suitable word, “...outfit?”
She momentarily looked baffled, as though Wesker were the one profusely clad in novelty items, luckily for the blond pony’s sanity she made a noise of realisation, “Oh, this stuff? I’m just going to see Rainbow Dash and these are all part of some awesome pranks I’ve got lined up for us to pull.”
That made sense... Insofar as the light pink pony with the dark pink mane ever made sense. “I see... Have fun then, Miss Pinkie. Do pass on my regards to Rainbow.”
“Will do Ally.” Wesker couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief as she departed, he had thought that people like Birkin and Irving had been energetic, but they had nothing on Pinkie Pie. Her diet of sugar, sugar and more sugar and the fact that she lived within a confectionary making facility both went a long way towards explaining that though.
Regardless, after a relaxing but ultimately stagnant walk through Ponyville he found himself within touching distance of the hospital doors. Before he could actually make contact with the metallic entrance, it burst open to reveal a beaming Nurse Redheart who hooked a foreleg around Wesker’s and dragged the startled genius inside.
Before he could even demand an explanation, the medical professional began chattering eagerly, “I’ve been so excited waiting for you to come back, especially since you can offer insight and analysis. Don’t worry; I won’t be keeping you long, just a few more basic tests to see just how biologically advanced you really are.”
It was difficult not to preen slightly when someone referred to you as ‘biologically advanced’, the fact that it was true and not mere flattery did nothing to dampen the smirk that appeared on Wesker’s face. “Well, let’s hope the results match your anticipation.”
She nodded enthusiastically and led him back through the sterile, white corridors he had seen only the day before and seated him upon the very bed which had contained him after his... accident. Then she was all business once more, “Okay, I’ll need another blood sample. Judging by the preliminary tests I’ve done, I’m guessing the pinprick from the last extraction has completely healed, right?” Wesker nodded once. “Have you experienced any differences in your health? Increased or decreased energy?” He shook his head, causing a frenzy of scribbling in the earth pony’s notebook. “I see.” She zipped over to another set of notes that she had previously made, “Hmm, I also have a theory as to one of the side-effects of your regeneration.”
Wesker arched an eyebrow, “A positive side effect, I hope?”
She smiled in response, “Of course. I believe that every time an injury which draws blood is caused to your skin, the epidermis which replaces the last layer becomes stronger and heals more rapidly each time it is replaced... with a limit, of course.”
Wesker nodded slowly before holding out a foreleg, “I assume this can be demonstrated via the blood sample you need to take.”
The pure white mare nodded and slowly drew a syringe of blood from the blond’s arm before waiting for the tiny wound to heal. Once the small pinprick had sealed itself up, a process which drew a great deal of fervent excitement from the nurse, she signalled for Wesker to observe. Once more she tried to pierce the sharp needle through the exact area that she had previously and found it far tougher to pierce the external layer. Redheart beamed up at the talented molecular biologist, “Just as I predicted, fantastic! Now, there are a few more things that....”
The next hour or so was just a blur of poking, stabbing and questions for Albert Wesker but mercifully, she recognised both his boredom and his growing irritation and allowed him to exit the hospital. Leaving the ghastly place, he glanced skyward and noted something entirely bizarre. Pinkie Pie was airborne via the machinations of a crude flying device; she noticed his slack-jawed attention and waved cheerily as she passed, “Hello Ally!”
It was going to be one of those days...
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Oh God why?
Why is this so short...?
Oh wait... "Part I"
Edit: Very very nice. I especially like the overabundance of Joy in the beginning, one of my favorite characters to read. I do hope to see much more of him later on.
lol Wesker got vialated by Nurse red heart :3 and i cant wait for the next installment
One of those days alright....
The ending had me laughing with abandon. Great chapter.
EDIT: Featured again! Good on you!
When I saw this, I shouted in joy. (Parents thought I was nuts for shouting at the television screen)
Then I finished and shouted again at the screen because there wasn't any more to read. Anyway, I've been meaning to give this story a Moustache. Here it is:
LOL Joy just had to act like the guy from Mission Hill, didn't he?
Also, the way that he noticed Pinkie in her little bike-copter was icing on the cake.
816374 Seriously? I think he got more violated by Joy than he did Redheart.
Bow-chika-wow-wow! Go, Wesker's inside voice! Make him even crazier!
Where has this story been all my life?
OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH UPDATE!!
penis,penis,penis,penis,
oh god have i been there...
817748 AHA
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but of course fluttershy's final smash would undoubtedly be....*gulps* the STARE......dun dun dun
its effect.... she automatically wins...not overpowered at all
Watch out Wesker, before you know it, you will be liking Twilight back. Thats if your God complex doesn't take over too badly again.
My reaction when I see this Fic update.
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Griffon vs. Wesker
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Wesker getting powers back? Yay!
Reading
Reading
penispenispenispenispenispenis
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So THAT'S how he can take all those bullets to the face.
I want to see him kick Gilda's ass. HARD.
so basically he gets stronger after every injury... can someone say Saiyan? keep goin and stay golden^^
so basically he gets stronger after every injury... can someone say Saiyan? keep goin and stay golden^^
I NEED MORE, AHHHHHHHH!!!
818562 What's that from?
823831
I thought this as well but I didn't actually state which of Applebloom's friends she was having the sleepover with.
Haha, saved by non-specificity.
824195
I... I don't know.
ANother awsome chapter, keep it up.
This is my absolutely favorite Fan Fiction to date, not of My Little Pony, but of all time. Hell, reading this is what got me into My Little Pony in the first place. So I have to thank you for putting together this awesome Fan Fiction, because of it, I am now a Brony.
I have to say I cannot wait for the next chapter. Whenever I see that you posted a new chapter, I get all Pinkie Pie.
Gilda sure picked a terrible day to meet up with Rainbow Dash. Wesker will probably want to kill her more than he does Dashie...and thats saying something.
Okay - just caught up on this.
Initially, when I saw what you had written, I wanted to scream and run away - don't worry, that's how I react every time the name 'Wesker' appears. After overcoming my instinctive fear of that name, however, I have come to the conclusion that I greatly appreciate his character.
And I find it insulting that anyone can insinuate Wesker has no sense of humour. It may be dryer than the Sahara in a drought, but it is _delicious_.
Yes.
blog.uvm.edu/apeteani/wp-content/blogs.dir/244/files/2011/12/516-poker-face.jpg
troll.me/images/jackie-chan-whut/wtf-is-this-shit.jpg
827821 I concur. Except my favorite is still Harmony's Wrath by Hahatimeforponies. I recommend it to everyone. Even you mister author man.
Deadpool, this is so much Deadpool!