03
They had been walking through the Everfree for close to five minutes, and already Twilight was feeling very edgy. The human, completely suited up and with all his strange equipment, looked as though he had stepped straight out of a nightmare. The way the ‘face’ of the helmet in no way resembled what lay underneath, the small number of tubes that served some unknown purpose, the glowing red eyes... All in all, she was absolutely sure at this point that bringing him to Ponyville was going to be a HUGE mistake.
At least he seemed peaceful enough. The way he was looking around at everything, seemingly enthralled with... well, everything, was evidence to her that this fellow, strange and possibly hostile as he may be, at least had a respect for nature. Maybe he wasn’t that bad.
Before, when I just wanted to get the hell to anything resembling civilisation, I didn’t really care about looking around. After all, I did think I was just somewhere in America. Now I knew that I was most likely on a completely different planet, it was really strange seeing plants that looked so very similar to things I’ve seen before.
True, I wasn’t exactly able to get a really good look, what with it being rather dark in the forest. So I had to turn on the low-light vision. So everything was a strange shade of grey. Oh well, at least I wasn’t going to trip over my own boots. The last thing I needed to do was make a complete ass of myself in front of a local.
So, nothing happened for the entire twenty minute walk. No, I’m not joking. Just a completely peaceful, uneventful walk through a dank forest. It was actually rather nice, being able to get somewhere without worrying about some drugged-up fuck trying to rob you with a pool cue. So you can imagine my surprise when, after a while in a dark forest, we were practically assaulted by sunlight.
This sunlight wasn’t like the Mojave’s is, oppressive, harsh and merciless. Or the ones in Vaults that are still working properly, all mechanical, processed and sterilised. The sunlight there felt... nice. Calm, gentle, soothing. All those things you just can’t get unless you’re sitting on a fortune. I was still breathing filtered air at that point, so I took off my helmet, more to get rid of the low-light vision. The air! The air smelt so fucking clean! No matter where you go here, there is this lingering scent of decay, of two-century old dust and rust. There was none of that there! Just... I’m sorry, I need a moment.
Twilight couldn’t help but giggle at the way the human just stood there, seemingly overwhelmed. It was very strange, but also made her feel much less threatened. The happy, dazed smile was just too funny to look at. The fact that he was acting as though he had never been around fresh air or sunlight before was still worrying, though. She made a mental note to ask him about that later, after she had found a way around the language barrier.
She made a few steps towards Ponyville, stopping when she realised that the stranger was still standing there. She turned back and prodded him with a hoof, getting no reaction. After a moment of pondering, she decided that it wouldn’t be too much of a strain and enveloped him in her telekinesis.
Before he even got off the ground, the magic-detector on his arm brust into life, ticking like a deranged clock. This seemed to shake him out of his reverie, kicking and screaming in the process.
“STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP!”
I panicked, I’ll admit that. You of all people know how horrible radiation is. The last thing ANYONE wants is to get bathed in radioactive goop, and at the time I was sure I was about to spout a third arm from my stomach or something. You can stop laughing, it wasn’t that funny.
Luckily for me, kicking and screaming is pretty universal. The purple glowing stopped and my Pip-Boy stopped ticking. More out of habit than anything, I pulled up the ‘Radiation’ screen to see just how fucked I was. As it turns out, not that bad.
Okay, yes, no amount of radiation is ‘good’, but I was only at about a hundred and fifty, if that. Easily enough for a Radaway or two to deal with. Still, I wasn’t letting her anywhere near me with that horn glowing.
Twilight didn’t know why he had panicked so much at the magic. She hadn’t meant to harm him. But does he know that? she wondered. She knew she had to consider the possibility that, to him, she was a threat of some sort. In a way, the idea was flattering, being considered so dangerous to a being that had easily dispatched a pair of manticores.
“Twilight, git down!” She turned around just in time to see an orange-coated, blonde mare charge at her. The unicorn let out a yelp and dove to the side, giving the pony a clear shot at her travelling companion.
“Applejack, no!” Twilight watched in shock as her friend ran up to the human, pivoted on her forehooves and bucked hard.
The yells brought me back to reality. You ever been kicked by a brahmin? It fucking hurts! The orange one that kicked me then was easily twice as strong. If I had been kicked in the ribs, I’d be okay with that. After all, I’ve taken a Super Sledge or three to the ribs and survived. But no. I just couldn’t be that lucky, despite having won enough at ALL the casinos to get kicked out. No, instead I ended up taking a pair of hooves to the balls. Yeah.
I’m pretty sure I collapsed from the pain at that point. Not like you can blame me. I also blacked out.
“Applejack, what did you do that for!?”
“Whaddya mean?” the farmer asked, her back to the now-unconscious biped.
“You hurt him!” Twilight replied furiously, her mane and tail on the verge of combustion.
“Of course Ah hurt him!” Applejack stared between her friend and the thing she had just assaulted in mild confusion. “That monster from the Everfree was followin’ ya!”
“That ‘monster’ saved Rainbow Dash’s life yesterday, and you just went and bucked him!”
“He did?” Applejack seemed somewhere between disbelief and horror. “Oh no! Mister, are you okay?” she asked as she tried, futilely, to wake him up.
“I don’t think he’s waking up,” Twilight said unhappily. “And even if he did, he can only speak Zebrican.”
“Wait, ‘he’?” Applejack asked, properly registering the use of the male pronoun. The farmer was no biology expert, but she knew enough to have an idea of what she had just done. “So I just... in the...”
It took Twilight a moment to board her friend’s train of thought, but when she did her jaw dropped when she saw where it was headed. “Oh no. Oh no.” She began to hop from hoof to hoof, on the verge of what was possibly the worst panic attack she had ever suffered. Quite the feat for a pony that had managed to brainwash an entire town by accident during one of her more recent ones. “Ohnonononononononononono...”
Lying on the ground before her was an alien visitor. An alien visitor that had selflessly risked its own life to save a pony it didn’t know. An alien visitor that had killed a pair of manticores with ease, only going down after getting stung. An alien visitor that was easily the deadliest warrior seen in Equestria since the time of Nightmare Moon. And one of her friends had just bucked him in the genitals. What a brilliant first impression this was turning out to be.
Applejack recognized the symptoms that her unicorn friend was displaying. “Calm down, sugarcube. Nothin’ we can do now. Ah just hope he ain’t too angry ’bout what I did,” she finished nervously.
“Let’s hope he isn’t the sort to hold a grudge,” Twilight responded. “All right, how about you carry him to the library?”
“What? Why me?” Applejack asked, not fond of the idea of this sort of manual labour.
“He doesn’t seem to react well to my magic. Maybe it’s harmful to him. And besides,” the unicorn pointed out, “it’s your fault that we have to carry him in the first place.”
The farmer let out a sigh. “Ah guess you’re right.” With Twilight’s help she managed to get the human onto her back. “He’s kinda heavy,” she said. “And what’s with all the stuff he’s wearin’?”
“Some of that’s his clothes,” the unicorn responded, balancing the helmet on the tip of her horn.
Applejack chuckled as she began walking back to Ponyville. “Ah can imagine Rarity havin’ a fit when she sees all this.” The pair shared a laugh. “What’s the rest of this stuff, then?”
Twilight’s good mood seemed to evaporate. “I think they’re his weapons. Though how they’re weapons I don’t know.”
“Twi, think about what ya just said.” Applejack had stopped walking to give her friend a very worried look. “Weapons, Twi. Yer lettin’ him bring weapons. Into Ponyville. Just how do ya think everypony is gonna react to that?”
“That’s the thing, Applejack. They don’t look like weapons. As long as nopony else finds out, it shouldn’t be a problem.” Twilight was confident that there was no way anypony would suspect the actual purpose of the strange metal objects, or that anypony would even know how to operate one in the unlikely event they realise what they actually were. The only likely danger in that respect came from Spike or Pinkie Pie. After taking half a second to think that very last part through, she realised just how bad an idea the whole thing was. “And I’ll make sure that they’re hidden,” she quickly added.
“Ah’ll respect yer judgement on this one, Twi, but don’t come cryin’ ta me when everything goes south.”
Author’s Notes:
Well that’s one way to ruin the day. Nice going, AJ.
I have a way around the language barrier, don’t you worry none.
Any guesses about who he’s recounting the story to, by the way? There are a few subtle hints here and there...
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This is just a wild guess but, Ulysses?
ouch
Applejack, you ruined more of my day after needed to go to the hospital and fix my leg, GOOD GOING!
Dammit 'Jack.
Obviously, he's talking to someone originally from the Wasteland. Now, who is he talking to? I don't know.
...The Lone Wanderer, perhaps? Nah, that's too wild of a guess.
Still, if he's talking to someone originally from the Wasteland about his adventure in Equestria, that means he either...
A) Found a way back.
2) Someone else came to Equestria.
Potato) Or he could just be writing in a journal or something.
Profit) Maybe he's just talking to himself, I dunno.
Anyway, really great chapter here. Looking forward to the next one!
Is he talking to a ghoul?
416532I CHOSE POTATO
416643
Potato is always the right answer.
416654Dam right!
So if he's narrating the story, why does he know what happens after he blacks out? Or are the third-person parts not part of 'his' story but are part of 'our' story or... I guess I'm just being picky.
Edit - And I think he's not talking to anyone from Mojave because he had to introduce himself to the narrat-ee (?) at the start and also describe what a hollow-point round did when it hit a target, which any wastelander should know.
well, he'll be pissing blood for a week after what AJ did wont he
he should so have Bennys suite with him to show off some swag
AJ... I AM DISAPPOINT
I don't know why but I really want to say Veronica.
OOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo. Right in the daddy bags.
He isn't going to be walking right for at least three days in my opinion, and Twilight better have his weaons hid before he wakes up.
Even then I think he may just try to strangle Applejack
420500
This is a man who can wrestle bare-handed with Yao Guai. And win.
Let's hope for AJ's sake he lets her off easy...
You have my attention sir, keep writing like this and you'll keep it.
425167
Perk Every Level.
Then just spam Intense Training.
Also, make your Endurance stat high to start with. Let's you buy more implants at the New Vegas Medical Clinic.
Lol
lately iv been reading HiE fics that involve AJ kicking a human in the balls...
is this a sign of the not to distant futre?
Fools, he is clearly talking to Mitch, the great Banana King.
i have a strong feeling he's talking to the lone wanderer
i am going to take one line from the story that hits that guess pretty far
"You of all people know how horrible radiation is"
582405
If use Search on top, word Ellis gets to the spot.
And... Almost all fanfics involving AJ and Human happen to have first encounter as a heavy hit. WHY?!
Of all possibilities, why AJ and like that?
Twi! Git Down!
*facepalm*
AJ, no... just no.
I feel sorry for the courier now HE GOT BUCKED IN THE BALLS BY A FARM PONY WHO EXERCISES HER HIND LEGS TO BUCK TREES HARD DAM THAT HAS TO HURT!
I'm pretty sure the poor bastard is now sterile.
im going to take a guess and say Father elijah
416656 I AGREE! AND NOW LISTEN TO THIS!!!!
Too bad, it was going to be such a peaceful day, then applejack came out of nowhere, probably high on psycho, and necessitates his burning ponyville to the ground.
Damn, RIGHT in the balls. 4.bp.blogspot.com/_giNmAgoU6yc/S2BT2_3WL8I/AAAAAAAAAio/bOi8Cx33qhU/s320/kicked-nuts-record.jpg
416282 I really hope so. Ulysses is just too badass not to be included somehow.
Hmm... Doc Mitchel... The guy from vault 21?
It said he defended Hoover Dam, it also mentioned him killing Caesar (two thing I emulated during my playthroughs, NCR!) So he's probably talking to an NCR official or maybe one of his companions?
He is talking to the Lone Wanderer. "you of all people know how dangerous radiation is" remind me how fallout 3 ended again (no DLC)
This is a very good story. Going to read more and love it, of that i am 120% sure. You have also made me want to replay New Vegas, but I kinda want to know how to get the perk every level mod, so I can become an uber courier (btw im a plasma weapons guy).
-Dashie out
416282 Of every single NPC in evry fallout game, ulysses is by far my favorite, it would be so fucking awesome if he was included.
Is it horrible that I expected the Courier to draw his gun on A.J. right there, and it'd be like a western showdown?
goddam thats gota hurt REALLY bad
Okay, it has to either be the Lone Wanderer, or some mutant/ghoul from the Mojave...
Interesting idea that a geiger counter would pick up on magic. Given that Ive seen a vid of someone demonstrating that a radio can pick up radioactivity when you point the antenna at the source, spewing out radiation across the spectrum, I have to think Magic might be closer to the electromagnetic spectrum. Can Fallout game rad detectors differentiate between nasty stuff and EM radiation?
"Before he even got off the ground, the magic-detector on his arm brust into life" I think you meant burst there.
24 weeks later jeez don't I feel out of touch.
motivateurself.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/the-balls.jpg
AJ DAMMIT !!!
962440 well, ulysses has his own fic, so theres that. it's called, 'a not so lonesome road'
Oh my god. I've been kicked in the balls by a horse, and one word: Ouch. Even with his gear on, Applejack can knock fucking apples down from a tree. Seriously. That fucking sucks.
Like Robin Williams said: "Getting kicked in the balls is a total system reset." Looks like the Courier's voice is going to go up a couple octaves.
[Maniacal laughter engaged] She has no idea. Benny, Caesar, Lanius, Elijah, Salt Upon-Wounds, Klein, and Ulysses all died because the Courier held a grudge towards them.
4034482
I went easy on Benny and Ulysses.