9. Sol Invicta
Corona’s blank eyes widened a little in surprise at Luna’s statement. “Sister, wherefore art thou calling me by such a false title? Hath a thousand years slowed thy memory?” She chuckled. “Celestia, dear sister, though I recall that thou wouldst call me Tia in thy more endearing moments – ”
“You are not my sister!” Luna exclaimed as she moved, charging forward with horn flaring with magic, wings spreading wide as she leapt for Corona. The white alicorn’s own horn glowed as Luna did so, however, and the Princess of the Moon was seized in a white aura and thrown to the ground, with force that would have shattered any other pony’s bones.
Corona’s eyes had narrowed, as she spread her wings wide. “Ah,” she intoned as she began walking forward. Tiny flames would spark to life and then die beneath her hooves with each step she took. “I see that thou remain resentful of my power and rightful station. I had hoped that the millenium I have spent imprisoned hath been but a mistake on thy part, but it seems thy treacherous nature remains.”
“How did you escape?” Luna demanded, as she struggled to rise. Corona’s magic flared, however, keeping the princess firmly pressed to the ground beneath her as she leaned close to the darker alicorn, a sad look on her face.
“Luna…my poor, covetous sister…I am the sun. I am the elder, the rightful ruler of the earth. Thou hast great power, but I am power, the burning fires of creation itself. Thou couldst never overcome me without the corrupted Elements of Harmony, and even with them, thou couldst do naught but seal me away for a time.”
Corona withdrew from her sister, wings still spread wide. “A thousand years is not so long a period, Luna, for beings such as we. ‘Twas but the barest moment to mine eyes, and it took no more than that moment to break thy prison locks. Locks I had not dared to believe, however, that thou intended to make permanent.”
Corona began walking in circles around Luna, eyes still focused upon her. “No. I had hoped that thou wouldst see reason. That thou wouldst understand that I was meant to reign over the day and the night. I am wiser. I am stronger. I am the sun. But thou hast a place in my realm, sister, if thou wouldst only see fit to remove the veil of jealousy from thy sight! I admit to not having thy creative spark, thine artistic abilities. Thy nights are far more beautiful than any I could ever construct, and it would warm my heart to have thee yet manage them in my name. Thou wouldst even retain thy title of Princess, for it belongs to thee by right – as the title of Queen is mine, as is the land of Equestria and all who inhabit it.”
Corona stopped pacing around Luna, coming to stop directly in front of her and tucking her wings back against her body. The white alicorn’s horn flared with magic once more, lifting Luna up, placing her on her hooves in front of her. Corona took several steps backwards, and the aura around Luna disappeared as Corona’s head raised slightly, and she extended one long foreleg. “Kneel before thy Queen, sister. Kiss my hoof and swear obedience, and we shall consign all this to the realm of unpleasant memories and dwell upon the matter no further.”
Luna’s horn flared with magic, but Corona, once more, was the faster. Luna was again wrapped in white magic and forced to her knees before she could launch even a single spell. Corona, for her part, seemed hardly surprised, only disappointed. “Unfortunate,” she observed. “But perhaps a thousand years of ruling alone hath only heightened thine arrogant presumption. Very well! I shall have to take more extreme measures with thee.”
Corona spread her wings wide, as Luna continued to fight in vain against her arcane bonds. The white alicorn’s horn began to glow brightly. “Thou art treacherous, covetous, and in all ways unbecoming of a sister of the Queen of Equestria!” Corona proclaimed. “And so, though it pains me greatly to do so, I am forced, for the good of Equestria, to banish thee from the land! Thine exile shalt be for a term of not less than one thousand and one years, and the site of thine exile shall be the moon itself! Thou shalt for a millennium look down upon the earth and see the glory that I, Celestia, bring to it!” A comforting look appeared on Corona’s face, an utterly alien expression for a being with blank eyes. “But before thine exile begins, I will gift thee once more with the sound of my subject’s voices, the subjects thou reignedst over for a thousand years. Perhaps thou shalt begin to understand thine error once the praise for the return of their rightful Queen reaches thine ears!”
Corona turned from Luna, raising her head high and closing her eyes as she let the silence spell she had cast over Ponyville dissipate, ready to drink in the eager…
…cries of terror and shouts of horror at what the multitude of ponies were witnessing.
Corona’s eyes fluttered open at the sound, though they remained without pupil or iris. A look of doubt appeared on her features. “What?” she demanded, looking around as though seeing the ponies for the first time. Many had fled utterly, while some remained close, paralyzed with fear or else trying to work up the courage to do something to protect their Princess and their loved ones, although what, none of them had even begun to guess. Each time Corona’s gaze would fall upon a pony, they would whimper, or recoil in horror, or find whatever small courage they had managed to gather fail and simply turn tail and flee.
“N…nay!” Corona cried, taking several steps forward. Luna redoubled her efforts to free herself, but a glare from Corona and a reinforcement of magic kept her in her place. “Ponies, wherefore do you flee in fear? Screams of delight should be reaching mine ears, not screams of terror!” The white alicorn punctuated this remark by slamming her right hoof down upon the cobblestone street with such force that it sent a ten-foot-long crack straight forward.
The white alicorn’s horn glowed brightly and her wings flapped once. Instantly, scores of ponies were seized in her grasp and dragged forward, even those who had hidden inside buildings. Corona was careful to guide them out open doors or windows and place them all in front of her, holding them on their hooves and in place. This easily doubled the wails of abject horror, and over and over again one word reached the white alicorn’s ears – Corona! Corona!
Corona closed her eyes and grit her teeth. “Cease your cries! Your Queen commands silence!” she shouted, not merely enhancing her voice, but using magic to adjust its tone and inflection to be one that most ponies simply couldn’t disobey. Shortly thereafter – not instantly, but quickly enough – the screams and cries died down to a low-level murmur of whimpers and held-back tears.
Corona looked around at the ponies frozen in place before her. “Explain yourselves!” she commanded. “After one thousand years your rightful Queen has returned!" she approached one pony, getting close to the stallion "Wherefore do you run?" she demanded as he flinched and tried to move away. Corona snorted in disgust and turned to another. "Wherefore do you find cause for fear?”
Luna stopped struggling against her bonds, breathing heavily. She looked to Corona, and the faintest grin appeared on her features. “It was the same a thousand years ago, Corona,” she said. “Don’t you remember?”
Corona turned quickly, glaring at Luna. “The filth! The spittle!” she exclaimed. “Such lies are unbecoming of thee, sister! A thousand years ago, ‘twas thine actions that made the ponies rise against me! Thy corrupting influence in my Court!”
“You mean the Court that you had to drag from their homes, kicking and screaming?” Luna asked. “No, wait. That was earlier. You’re referring to the Court that attended you only because you held their families hostage.”
“Their obedience was better assured in such a manner! But always I had the love of the common pony – ”
“You mean to tell me you don’t remember having to threaten to burn down Canterlot and start over, ‘like a phoenix risen from the ashes,’ if everypony in the city didn’t line up for your procession that one time?”
“Thine influence was strong in the capital! But in the rural areas – ”
“Where the revolution began?”
“It would hath gone no further had thou not – ”
“Had the Royal Guard not immediately switched sides as soon as I had stolen the Elements from you?”
“Be silent!” Corona shouted, the aura surrounded Luna doubling in size and forcing her to the ground. She cried out in pain. “I should have known. A thousand years may not be so long for an alicorn, but for ponies…thou hast had a millennium to sew thy lies amongst my subjects. To turn me into naught more than a monster in their eyes.”
“I didn’t need to. You did that fine by yourself.” Luna’s horn glowed, and though she did not escape Corona’s magical grip, she managed to force herself to her hooves, and look Corona in her blank eyes. “You had all you could ever want, but you wanted more. You tried to take everything. You weren’t a queen, you were a despot. You ceased being my sister and became something that I needed to – that I had to stop.” Her eyes narrowed. “You aren’t my Tia. You don’t deserve that name. You are Corona, the Tyrant Sun. A monster.”
Corona’s eyes widened at so blatant an insult. “Enough! The life of a pony is as that of a gnat. As thou hast had a thousand years to sew thy lies, so shall I have a thousand to expunge them! Whatever paltry edifices thou hast raised in mine absence, I shall tear down, and raise glorious monuments of mine own. All that thou hast accomplished shall turn to ash in the fires of rebirth that shall spread across Equestria. Nopony shall remember thy lies, nor even thy reign! Thou shalt be forgotten!” Corona’s horn flared, the light growing painfully bright. “Thy banishment begins now, Luna!”
Luna tried, one more time, to escape from Corona’s magical aura, but her struggles were in vain as white light encompassed her completely. She opened her mouth to shout some final defiance, but the sound of Corona’s magic drowned out whatever she tried to say as she shot straight upwards, towards the sun and the moon that lay hidden behind it, disappearing into the unnatural midday’s glare. Corona watched the white comet disappear into the sky, her face holding a bizarre, manic mixture of grim determination and sadistic glee, mane and tail billowing like flames caught in a breeze but which were too determined to be put out by it.
At length, Corona turned around, looking over the ponies and letting her white aura of magic fade from them. All were too paralyzed by fear to run, instead only huddling together, trying to protect each other from Corona’s gaze. “Who among you leads this settlement?” she demanded, stamping a hoof. “Who represents my sister’s Court? Step forward and present thyself to thy returned Queen.”
There was a long pause, before a beige-colored earth pony began creeping forward, head low but eyes locked on Corona and fighting back tears of fright. “I…I – I’m the m-mayor of Ponyville, y-your majesty,” the pony said as she came forward and began to bow. “M-my name is – ”
“Wait!”
Corona blinked at the interruption, as a light blue unicorn, wearing a tall, purple, star-studded hat and matching cape, as well as a blue shirt and deep purple coat, pushed her way to the front of the crowd. On reaching it, and having no more ponies between her and Corona’s glare, she paused for a moment, as though regretting her actions, but then grit her teeth and made her way forward.
“I’m the one you want,” the unicorn said.
---
“There would appear to be some confusion as to who leads this settlement,” Corona observed. “Explain.”
Trixie stepped forward. “You asked two questions,” Trixie noted. “Who’s in charge? Who represents Luna?” The unicorn nodded to the mayor. “She’s the elected mayor of Ponyville. But if you’re looking for the representative of Luna’s Night Court…that would be me.” Trixie ground her teeth together as she closed her eyes. “Don’t – please, your majesty, don’t hurt her. Don’t hurt anypony here. If you’re looking to destroy Luna’s government, then I’m the one you want.”
There was long silence, broken only by the cackling of the flames that still surrounded Ponyville – and, Trixie noted, a similar sound coming from Corona’s mane and tail as well. Trixie heard hoof-steps in front of her, and dared open one eye. Corona was pacing around her and the mayor, appraising them both, as well as the gathered ponies who were still watching in abject terror, wondering if they were about to witness an execution.
Trixie tried not to think. She tried not to think about her future and the innumerable ways that Corona could kill her, many of which would involve fire, all of which would be painful beyond belief, and few of which would be quick. She also tried not to think about her immediate past, and what she had just seen – Luna, Princess Luna, the immortal ruler of Equestria, her mentor, in many ways her surrogate parent for the past ten years, utterly and completely dominated by this monster, by a dark and terrible legend come to life, banished to the moon for a thousand years.
Trixie would never see her again. And their last true exchange had been Luna expressing how disappointed she was in Trixie – how she intended to terminate Trixie’s apprenticeship. Trixie didn’t want to die. But she did want to live up to the standards Luna had set for her – be the pony that Luna had wanted her to be. If that meant offering up her life to Corona for Ponyville, or even just Ponyville’s mayor, then so be it.
Corona completed her circle of the two, and settled down on her haunches as she did so, looking between the two. “Madame mayor. I have no quarrel with thee. Thou shalt leave my presence.”
The mayor bowed deeply – either that or her forelegs had given out in relief, but the effect was much the same – and withdrew. Corona turned her blank gaze upon Trixie, and leaned forward. “Thy name?” Corona asked.
“Trixie Lulamoon, your majesty,” Trixie responded, keeping her head bowed. Just make it quick, she thought. That’s all I’m asking...
“And thy standing? Thou must be a viscountess, at least, to hold dominion over so large a settlement."
Trixie blinked a few times at that. “Uh – ” she said. Her mind whirled. Corona expected her to be a noble. She expected her to be a noble because of how large Ponyville was. Of course. A thousand years ago – when last Corona was in Equestria – Ponyville would have been considered a decent-sized city, instead of just barely more than a large town. To Corona’s blank eyes, Ponyville seemed like a major appointment, where an important noble pony would have been entrusted to oversee it in the name of the Princess.
But this paled next to the realization that Corona even cared. If all Corona had intended to do was begin the process of immolating the members of Luna’s government, Trixie would already be dead, and so would the mayor. No, Corona was seeking something else…and it took only a second for Trixie to realize what, keyed in from what she had heard Luna say to Corona about Corona dragging her Court to session, then holding their families hostage to keep them there. Corona may have been a despot, a mad alicorn, the Tyrant Sun – but even she couldn’t run a land as large as Equestria all by herself. She needed a Court of her own to handle day-to-day affairs, and simply burning away all of Luna’s Night Court was hardly practical, especially if she really did want to try and earn the love of ponies everywhere. It would make far more sense to, at least in the short term –
“I grow impatient,” Corona intoned.
Trixie glanced up, then bowed her head. “F-forgive me,” she said, and picked a relatively middling noble rank at random. “Duchess, your majesty.”
Corona’s eyes widened slightly. “Duchess?” she asked. “What crime hath been committed by thee to warrant thy appointment here?”
Trixie winced – apparently she'd shot a little too high. But – yes. She could work with this. “I…had a…disagreement with Princess Luna, your majesty, over my duties. I felt I could handle more than she was giving me.” Trixie said, keeping her head bowed. “This appointment was intended as more of a banishment from the Night Court than anything.”
Corona considered Trixie, as Trixie once more dared look at Corona’s blank eyes. The white alicorn’s emotions were difficult to read thanks to those empty orbs. She had no idea what Corona was thinking, what Corona intended to do to her. At length, the white alicorn spread her wings. “Whatever quarrel thou hast had with mine sister,” she said, “I believe to be most unfair. ‘Twas a brave thing for thee to present thyself before me. No doubt thou believed that thy very life was at stake due to the lies about me that thou hast heard from my sister."
Corona stood. “I am not the monster mine sister hath claimed me to be. I am not!” she emphasized this point with a flutter of her wings. After a moment of letting her proclamation sink in to the ponies of Ponyville, she regarded Trixie with an arch look. “Equestria has languished under my sister’s clumsy hooves for too long, ever since she somehow corrupted the Elements of Harmony and turned them upon me. I shall bring glory to the land once more!” Corona extended her right hoof. “Kiss my hoof, Duchess Trixie, and swear allegiance to my reign, now and forever.”
Trixie paused only a moment before doing so. “I swear,” she promised. It felt like her mouth was full of bile as she did, but if it let her come out of this alive, along with everypony in Ponyville…even as she did, however, she struggled to keep her eyes from widening as she struck upon something that Corona had said. The Elements of Harmony.
Of course! All she had to do was make it out of the next few minutes alive…which, as she glanced up at Corona, suddenly seemed unlikely. Corona was regarding her with narrow eyes, wings spread threateningly, as she withdrew her hoof.
“No…” the alicorn intoned. “No…’twas too easy, somehow. I find it hard to believe that a pony who would lay down her life to save another's would so easily bow to me, no matter her quarrel with my sister or her Court.”
Trixie blinked. “I – no, your majesty, it’s just, with Princess Luna gone, I – ”
“Ah…” Corona said, cutting Trixie off and grinning widely as she believed she understood the source of Trixie’s actions. “’Twas not bravery. ‘Twas a peculiar cowardice, and spite for thy former princess, and opportunism. Thou believed that thou couldst ingratiate thyself within my new Court.”
“N…y…maybe…?” Trixie asked stupidly. On the other hoof, it certainly made her sound like such a pony as Corona was describing, caught in the act.
Corona considered, probably weighing the value of such a pony against the fact that, at the end of the day, she really would need to, for the moment, keep Equestria’s infrastructure more-or-less intact, lest the realm collapse into anarchy. At length, she brightened, stepping back several paces. “An idea occurs to me,” she said. “Thy desires seem genuine enough, but thy loyalty is in question. Still, thou were willing to risk death itself for thy fellow pony. ‘Tis evidence of a shred of true nobility in thy veins, somewhere.” Corona smiled as her horn glowed.
Behind Trixie, she heard cries of terror and screams. Turning swiftly, she saw a multitude of ponies wrapped in white auras, being pulled from the crowd that Corona had assembled and dragged through the air, towards the white alicorn one at a time. Specifically, Corona was grasping foals.
“No!” Trixie cried out, not thinking as her horn glowed brightly, reaching above her and trying to grab at the colts and fillies being dragged to Corona. She was powerless against the alicorn’s magic, however – it was possible that Corona didn’t even feel her feeble attempts to wrench the kicking, screaming foals from her telekinetic grasp. Trixie wasn’t even the only one – mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters all tried, with magic if they were unicorns or bare hooves and teeth if they weren’t, to hold on to their children, but against the Tyrant Sun, their efforts were wasted; indeed they were wrapped in white auras of their own and pushed back.
Trixie’s magic failed utterly, and her heart stopped beating, at the last foal to pass overhead, a gray-coated, yellow-maned unicorn filly who was being held onto tightly by her pegasus mother. Ditzy Doo’s eyes were focused on her Dinky Doo’s own, tears staining both their eyes as the Corona’s magic forced them apart, driving Ditzy Doo back to the crowd and Dinky over to behind the mad alicorn. Without thinking, Trixie rushed to Ditzy’s side, magic and hooves both holding the pegasus back from charging at Corona. Other ponies tried to do likewise, but Corona only chuckled slightly as she shoved away. All in all, Corona had captured at least fifty foals, probably more.
“Of course, I shall be too busy in Canterlot to keep a good eye on them,” Corona mused aloud. At random, a handful of other ponies were dragged forward, much as the foals had been, though with less resistance as the Ponyvillians were still trying to recover from their children having been stolen. Among them, Trixie saw, was the cream-colored, blue-and-pink haired marefriend of Lyra.
Corona’s eyes narrowed as her horn flared. “Fear not, my subjects,” the Tyrant Sun said. “They are merely my hostages. They shall ensure the loyalty and stability of this settlement, with the mares and stallions I have taken to keep the colts and fillies in good health.”
Corona leaned forward, towards Trixie, as the flames around Ponyville finally disappeared. “And this shalt be thy test. Keep Ponyville ordered and secure, and thou shalt need not fear for thy fellow pony. Provided, of course, thou survive thy fellow pony’s judgement.”
With that, Corona beat her wings, taking to the air, and dragging the screaming foals and adult ponies with her. Once she was hovering over Ponyville, she stood as though the air were solid ground, smiling widely. “Rejoice, my subjects!” Corona called. “Your true queen hath returned! In celebration, there shall be an unbroken ten days of glorious sunshine! On the tenth day, if all has gone as I wish it – if I am obeyed – your foals shall be returned to you. If otherwise…” Corona let her sentence hang, feeling no need to complete it. With a burst of light and a strong beat of her wings, she was off, dragging the ponies held in her magical grip behind her.
All eyes turned to where Trixie had been holding Ditzy Doo – or at least all the eyes of everypony who wasn’t too broken by the events that had just occurred to do anything other than stand in shock or weep. But the unicorn was already gone from sight, as was Ditzy Doo.
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Early Modern English: A Rough Guide to Verbs
Basic rule of thumb: -st for second person singular, -th for third person singular
I speak
Thou speakest
He/she/it speaketh
We speak
Ye speak
They speak
"To be" and "to have" are, of course, irregular:
I am
Thou art
He/she/it is
We are
Ye are
They are
I have
Thou hast
He/she/it hath
We hath
Ye hath
They hath
I've elected to not use "ye," as years of D&D gaming makes that sound like a distinctly Dwarven turn of phrase, even though it's not. Also I'm not doing this with every verb, just the ones I find sound good while writing. We'll justify it by saying that Corona is speaking a transitional form of early modern English which is in the process of becoming...middle modern English? Whatever.
Oh, bonus: Ranks of nobility in Equestria! It's slightly different from the standard ranks of nobility. In ascending order:
Lord/Lady
Knight/Dame
Baronet/Baronetess
Baron/Baroness
Viscount/Viscountess
Count/Countess
Marquess/Marchioness
Duke/Duchess
Archduke/Archduchess
Viceroy/Vicereine
Grand Duke/Grand Duchess
Prince/Princess
King/Queen
Emperor/Empress
Due to Equestria's size and influence, most nearby lands use a system of nobility more-or-less identical to this.
Properly speaking, Equestria should be called a Principality, not a Kingdom. However, within Equestira itself the term "kingdom" is used colloquially and in most official documents, with the justification being that it's seen as the successor state to the Unicorn Kingdom (which had a King). Lands outside of Equestria (such as Prance or the Griffin Kingdoms) normally refer to it as a Principality, however, since the reigning monarch is a Princess.
Properly speaking, Princess Luna is, at least in terms of etiquette and protocol, outranked by the rulers of several nearby lands based purely on her Equestrian titles (the Griffin Kingdoms, for example, are ruled by a High King). This would be politically embarassing for Luna and her Court, given that Equestria is overwhelmingly the strongest nation out of all of its neighbors, but Luna has refused to assume any higher titles within Equestria itself.
This political embarassment has been thankfully avoided by the fact that, in addition to Equestria, Luna is the reigning monarch of several nearby protectorates - sort of like how Queen Elizabeth is primarily thought of as the Queen of England but in fact also holds additional, distinct titles as the Queen of Scotland, Queen of Canada, Queen of Australia, and so on. In these protectorates outside of Equestria, Luna holds different reigning titles, and in at least one, she's ranked as an Empress, allowing her to treat with Emperors from Ib'Xian and High Kings from the Griffin Kingdoms on equal terms. Protocol is satisfied.
It sounds rediculous, I know. But a similar situation happened with Queen Victoria. Her daughter or neice or someone was going to marry the German Kaiser (Emperor), which would make her daughter/neice/whatever higher ranked than her (Kaiserin/Empress). To avoid this embarassment, Queen Victoria was named Empress of India.
I don't think the Indians had much say in that, and I imagine it was one of the sore points that prompted thier successful bid for independence, but at least it allowed the United Kingdom to save face at the time. And it's good that they did, because thankfully the United Kingdom NEVER had ANY problems with Germany EVER AGAIN.
Anyway, that's just a little political insight for you.
Interesting, I like the little bit of Luna from Nightmare Night you mixed into Alt!Celestia.
Don't be afraid! Or I'll murder your children!
You're doing it wrong.
The political insight stuff is kind of interesting. As for the chapter itself, it's pretty good (Gives Corona some characterization while moving the plot along, and while the not-big-pictureish bit of me wishes Trixie got a bigger role it really wouldn't help the chapter at all), but I do have a particular point of objection to your use of Early Modern English:
You frequently manage to mangle plurals after use of nonregular-for-Modern-Modern-English words. "Provided, of course, thou survives thy fellow pony’s judgement", for instance. "Thou" is a replacement for "You", and therefore I'm pretty sure "survives" should instead be "survive". There are other similar mistakes in the rest of the chapter, and they're the only bit of your usage which really seemed off to me.
I'm very glad that this story is not just a retelling of the pilot, the way you have changed the plot slightly has really added to the story overall, in my opinion.
I for one, welcome our new, er, old thermonuclear Overlord. Or is that Overlady? Oh, sweet Luna, we are all gonna burn!!
Also, hurrah for educational footnotes!
385979
WIll fix that ASAP. Have to go to work now.
Hmm. As usual the fanon for this story is very thought out and makes good sense in comparison to the canon universe. It seems that the BIGGEST major unexplained discrepancy is the lack of a prophecy of Corona's return. Will that be touched on?
hmmm.......
I find it interesting that, as evil as Corona is, she honestly seems to believe that she's in the right, and is treating Luna as if her jealously had twisted her into something evil, much like the mane timeline.
Interesting dynamic, to say the least. and here I was expecting a Nightmare Moon clone. Awesome job dood.
Ho, damn! This isn't Nightmare Moon, and all the better for it! Yeah, I can see a snapped Celestia like that. *Shudder* But the Elements...
And yes, more than a shred inside Trixie. That's our girl!
Great! Super! Unlike Celestia, Corona believes her own press releases.
386035
From what I gathered from the story, there is no prophecy. Luna intended for Corona to be sealed up forever. Of course, nothing lasts forever...
Hot, damn! And I mean that literally. Corona really raised the stakes here for a villain. She's almost Dr. Doom in that she's utterly convinced that she's right and everybody else is wrong, no matter the evidence against her.
The heroes have quite the uphill battle on this one. Corona doesn't seem the type to just let a few adventurers wonder to the castle in the Everfree and find the Elements to stop her. She's likely to burn them before they even get close!
Excellent work!
386565
Not so much intended, as much as didn't think there was any room for middle ground: either Celestia was getting banished forever or she wasn't. It's entirely possible that Luna has constructed the entire "Corona" mythos to convince herself that she didn't banish Celestia forever, that Celestia was gone already, consumed by hate and jealousy, and all that remained was Corona. A sort of psychological crutch, if you will:
"I am not a horrible sister. I did not seal my sister away forever. My sister was gone. I have no reason to hate myself. I have nothing to regret..."
386565
386684
Hmm. Well I believe canon Celestia intended to seal Nightmare Moon away forever as well. But somehow she knew NMM would escape in 1000 years. Just interested in where that prophecy came form.
I must echo previous sentiments - Corona is awesome and scary and not at all like Nightmare Moon (not that I don't love Nightmare Moon, because I do). The scariest thing about her is just how shockingly insane she is. Nightmare Moon wasn't entirely sane herself, but wanting to rule the world and consume it with one's beautiful night, that's an understandable motivation. Corona seems to have constructed a fantasy world where she's the hero and everypony who doesn't love and worship her is a conniving villain. That sort of delusion in somepony so powerful is really scary.
I also love the way Luna seems to realise that she can't defeat Corona and just decides to snark her until her inevitable banishment. Also, poor Trixie, losing Luna like that at such a bad time.
(Also, what is the title meant to mean? If you're going for "Unconquered Sun" like the Roman god, that's "Sol Invictus", or "Sol Invicta" since Corona is female.)
386795
It's certainly possible Celestia intended to seal Luna away forever in the actual series. But my person head-canon is that, Chess-master that she is, she only intended to seal Luna away for a thousand years in hopes that by then she would have found someway to purge whatever dark force Luna had merged with to become Nightmare Moon.
It's equal possible that Corona hasn't used any dark forces to increase her abilities, is legitimately that much stronger than Luna and has merely gone mad with power, seeing as RainbowDoubleDash has yet to inform us either way. (Unless I missed it.) Which is why Luna choose to try and seal her away permanently.
387293
If there is no dark power to strip Celestia of, how effective will the elements be?
387663
and there, as the bard would say, lies the rub.
387663
Well given that Corona is still 'at large' during Boast Busted the answer might very well be 'Not as effective as their counterparts were against Luna'. Although given that they worked against Discord, I suspect the Elements tend to target beings with a certain level evil and/or chaotic intents. But I'm just throwing out theories while I wait for the next chapter of this most enjoyable series.
Shit just hit the fan and the fic really changed quickly.
387739
Oh, that's right isn't it. She wasn't "saved" like Luna was.
387891
Chapter 8 was written before I decided I didn't want to half-ass the early modern English and actually put effort into it; I (think I've) done a better job with chapter 9, though it's worth noting that I only intend to really try with "to be," "to have," and "to be able," (or as I called it throughout my bumbling middle school Spanish, "to can") lest I go mad from the effort. As I said, I'm going to justify it by saying that Corona is speaking a form that's transitioning from early modern to middle-modern (or whatever).
Having said that, the parts I am trying with, I want to be correct, so feel free to be as unkind as you like.
I'm not much of a linguist, sadly. I speak only two languages - English, and Bad English.
3.bp.blogspot.com/_K9qf7QhvI9c/R5Zk6JzSQEI/AAAAAAAAAfA/7JZwaX7AVvU/s400/Fifth+Element.JPG
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I see that, now having read it and seeing your rough verb guide.
One doesn't have to speak many languages to be a linguist. Linguistics is simply the study, not use, of language.
On with the "unkindness," a few notes:
"But perhaps a thousand years of ruling alone hath..." The subject here is "years," so the verb should be inflected for third-person.
"... the subjects thou reignedst over..."
"...thou shalt not hath to fear for thy fellow pony." Here, "have" shouldn't be inflected as a non-finite verb in part of a verbal phrase (that is, "not have to fear"); "shalt" is the finite verb (inflected properly). Though personally I've always thought "have to" is odd, here I'd suggest more strongly than I would normally a revamp with something like "shalt need not fear."
I particularly loved this chapter. I've always considered the "character interaction" aspect of fiction, that being how all the various characters "bounce off" each other in various ways, most interesting and driving. I know for quite a number of writers a scene as "slow" as this would be a challenge to make even half as long, so a very good job on that!
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Dialogue and character interaction is, I think, the thing I am best at writing, and the character interaction scenes are always my favorite in anything I write or read. You may have noticed, in contrast, that I'm not much for physical description. I always feel like I'm rambling about something no one cares about when I try to describe the appearance of something. Mostly I'd rather provide pictures. Unfortunately, I'm not an artist, either.
Oh, also - I'm not much of that kind of linguist, either. I couldn't point out a particiable to save my life, and "inflected as a non-finite verb in part of a verbal phrase" is Greek to me. I have a basic sense of "object, subject, verb," but that's about it. I can string together a sentence well enough, but damned if I know what its different parts are called or why they're called such or what they're supposed to do.
...probably not an ideal situation for a writer.
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... Though I'm guessing that doesn't make it much clearer to you, does it? Eh, don't worry about it; that's why I call myself a linguist enthusiast.
Fff- Can't believe I messed up that badly! That should be " 'have' shouldn't be inflected, as it is a non-finite verb..."!
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I feel your pain bro.
Corona is certainly an interesting character and quite different from NMM. She’s is a very dark version of Celestia who still wants to protect her subjects in a twisted way and thinks of herself as benevolent ruler. She’s even in denial about the fact that EVERYONE rebelled against her in the past and blames Luna for it. Despite that fact there seems to be still something good inside her considering that she was willing to “forgive” her sister and her “misguided” subjects.
So now Trixie and Co are going to find the Elements of Harmony. Are they in the Everfree Forest or did Luna hide them somewhere else? And what kinds of trials await the Luna Six? In the show NMM knew that some ponies would come after her, but Corona thinks that Trixie is on her side and probably doesn’t even know about her attempts of finding the elements.
You know how to make people curious. It’s hard to predict what happens next. I think there’s a 50/50 chance that their quest for the Elements will send the Luna Six to either the Everfree Forest or Canterlot.
Sadly the chance for a happy ending with a sister reunion and a big party are rather low. Luna doesn’t seem to be very forgiving and believes that Celestia turn evil without begin corrupted, which may even true in this universe. So I guess this story will end with a depowered Corona/ Celestia fleeing the scene (and maybe swearing revenge).
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I don't think it's a coincidence that Corona's eyes are blank white; they're the blind eyes of someone who has lost sight of everything except her own power and glory.
She really is an excellent villain, in no small part because of how different she is from the Nightmare Moon.
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Well, technically they're blank because the vector her physical appearance was inspired from (which was just Celestia with blank eyes and a flaming mane and tail) had them as blank, for reasons known only to the artist, Qsteel.
However, they do fit the character I've constructed for her, so we'll label that as Happy Coincidence #1.
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i had assumed corona's eyes were radiating power much like when the elements of harmony are used:
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Eh, a little from column A, a little from column B.
Do you have any idea what episode you will be writing a version for next?
On that note, will it even be based on an episode, or one from that you just come up with?
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I think I'm going to try for an original story next, and further one that doesn't focus so much on Trixie. But we'll see.
As mentioned before, I'd love to turn this into a shared universe, so if anyone has any story ideas of their own and feels like writing it up...
Celestia really is corrupted, if she's using hostages to get what she wants. Now what will Trixie do?
Thou hast pleased us with this new chapter.
Thy firm grasp of early modern English doth impress. Seriously, thanks for that. Seeing it butchered always makes me has a sad.
Just heard about this Lunaverse and DAMN. I am having fun reading through this. Corona is amazing.
And the whole thing with Dinky Doo and Ditzy made me SAD FEELS
Spoilers: this story is set a millennium before the pilot; any resemblances to ponies currently living are purely coincidental.
More spoilers: Ponyville is going to be razed and expunged from history, so by the time the Apple family re-establishes it, nopony but Tia will know there ever was another Ponyville in the same location, and she'll be disinclined to mention the sorts of things she used to do.
Even more spoilers: Trixie fainted from the shock of the whole situation when she thought Corona was going to kill her. The rest of this story, as well as every Lunaverse story that takes place later, is just her fear-addled dreams.
Not spoilers, just commentary: They say it is better for a ruler to be feared than loved, but better to be respected than either. "They" in this case being a council composed of Machiavelli, his secret twin brother, and his works as filtered through the memory of somebody who has never directly read them (he's the chairman). I'm not sure precisely which one Luna was, but Corona definitely knows where she's aiming.
i.imgur.com/84EFhkA.gif
You had my curiosity now you have my attention.
Evil deluded Celestia is best Celestia
Thy nights are far more beautiful than any I could ever construct, and it would warm my heart to have thee yet manage them in my name.
That was my favorite line on Corona's speech. I'm not sure, but I believe it is safe to assume that is basically everyone's head cannon that Luna is very artistically inclined, and that Celestia isn't as much, and therefore the night is more beautiful when Luna is the one casting it. Not just in this universe but in any story.
Also, Evil Celestia (AKA Corona) is very likely one of the best villains I've ever seen.
How did you come up with the name Corona?
When you said that you based Corona on Zedd, I took it literally (Doesn't help that Zedd is my favorite ranger villian and I usually love to play him whenever I get the chance) but, back to my feelings about this chapter. See, what I love is that Corona's plan seems more focused, more complex than Luna's...and that makes sense given that one is older and the other is younger.
See, NM's plan was "Eternal night, profit" Whiule Corona is busy thinking of how to rule and how this is going to work. She even remembers a little of the basics for life
But I be remiss if I didn't talk about our Trixie here. I like the fact that somehow, we see this as a growth for her and in a way you have kept her redemption character in here.
All in all, a nice way to get this chapter started...Though if I have to do another long speech by Corona it'll be too soon! I love to voice her but her way of talking is MURDER!!
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To quote from a commentary by someone who worked on Kung Fu Panda, "A villain is a hero in his(/her) own mind."
That tends to make some of the best villains in my books. Corona is a great example of it.
Poor Trixie. This ni- day- is not going very well.
troll.me/images/lost/you-you-monster.jpg
5104460 I concur
And, when you fall a Lucifer fell, you fall in flame.
4077932 This is an extremely late response, and I am not the author, however I can provide an answer to your question. Corona refers to the layer of plasma surrounding a star, for our sun this layer is far hotter than the surface of the sun, and will superheat anything that enters it. It is "fire" that can destroy anything that isn't held together with ridiculous amounts of gravity.