• Published 9th Mar 2012
  • 26,603 Views, 1,213 Comments

Longest Night, Longest Day - RainbowDoubleDash

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ii. The End [Epilogue 2]

Celebrating would come later. For now, hours later as the moon left its high position in the sky and began a gradual, measured, and above all else proper descent towards the horizon, all Ponyville could do was focus on the return of their loved ones.

Most of Ponyville, anyway.

Trixie nodded her head slightly. “It’s actually in better condition than I thought it would be,” she remarked as she picked her way through her living room, careful not to step on broken glass or splintered wood. The hole Raindrops had made in her window, remained, of course, but it had been added to a dozen times over by ponies that looked like they had been literally tearing up the floorboards looking for Trixie.

Luna moved with somewhat less caution, a scowl on her features as she surveyed the damage, deepening when she saw that the storybook mural on the wall that had contained the legend of Celestia’s fall and Corona’s rise has been left largely untouched. “This…” Luna said, “this is unacceptable. Whatever their imagined issue with you, this house is…” she paused as her gaze centered on a hole in the ceiling of the room, “was property of the Crown.”

Trixie looked to Luna. “It’s just a house,” Trixie remarked. She forced herself to be cheerful. “They were angry and scared. And taking that out on wood and plaster is better than taking it out on each other, right?” Trixie paused a moment as she thought. “Or me.

Luna’s scowl persisted for several long minutes. Her gaze had drifted back to the mural once more, and she had stepped up to it, looking into the painted eyes of Corona. The wall stared back emotionlessly. “You’re right,” Luna admitted with a sigh.

Trixie watched Luna closely. Finally, she asked the question that had to be asked. “Are you alright?”

Of course I’m not!” Luna snapped. The unicorn didn’t budge at the burst of emotion, nor the glare that followed, albeit only for a few moments before Luna reigned herself in, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “Every history text talks about Cel - about Corona and the revolution against her and my brave and noble sacrifice by sending her into the sun. But everypony seems to of selectively forgotten what happened next. Everypony but me, and I am trying very, very hard to stop myself from having a relapse. I was as bad as Corona.”

Trixie blinked at that. “I really don’t think that’s possible,” she said.

Luna glared at her again. “I was worse,” the princess insisted. “Corona was a tyrant. I was absent and utterly useless at affairs of state because I spent the better part of twelve years in a drunken stupor, trying to block out what I had done, what Corona had forced me to do. I would let days pass without raising the sun, and would set it early as the mood struck me, and probably only raised it at all because barley and grapes need sunlight. I would arrange the stars however I wished. I would descend upon a settlement and make the inhabitants wait on my every wish and amuse myself by manipulating their lives and dolling out favor and misfortune as I desired. I did anything, anything, to make myself forget, and ponies everywhere suffered for it.” Luna snorted as she looked away from Trixie.

Trixie considered. For whatever reason, she wasn’t actually very surprised by Luna’s admission. “Did you hurt anypony?” she asked.

“Countless thousands.”

“I mean in a permanent way. An unforgiveable way, rather than just you being a big, drunk jerk wandering the countryside.”

Luna stifled a burst of laughter at that. Trixie’s statement made Luna sound like she had been a sorority head leading a hazing ritual more than anything. “I have not forgiven myself,” Luna stated.

“Princess…”

The alicorn shook her head. “No. I was capricious and melancholy, not a monster. But I was essentially a little Discord. A storm of chaos followed me wherever I went.”

Trixie had made her way to an overturned bookcase. It had been full of a fairly generic collection of books, mostly the classics like Foalnapped and The History of the Decline and Fall of the Griffon Empire. Trixie had added only a single book to the collection since moving in, and breathed out a sigh of relief as she found her copy of Don Rocinante unharmed. “What snapped you out of it?”

“A family of dragons decided that Equestria was weak and ripe for pillaging. I happened to be nearby as they crossed the border and…convinced them that they were mistaken. But after that I realized what I’d been doing. That I was letting my pain and suffering become the pain and suffering of others.”

“But you did realize,” Trixie noted. “Corona didn’t…she still hasn’t. That makes you better. And you’re right, everypony seems to of forgotten that bit of history. It must not of been as bad as you make it out to be.”

That didn’t seem to improved Luna’s mood. She breathed in deeply, and let her breath out slowly. “Celest…Corona…will be weak for a long time,” Luna stated. “She will recover the depth of her magical reserves in just a few days, but the power will take longer…perhaps five or six months. But she will not be quiet in that time.” The alicorn ruffled her wings a few times as she thought, then looked back to Trixie. “We should return to Canterlot.”

Trixie blinked a few times at that. “We?” she asked.

Luna grinned slightly. It was forced, but only because Luna still didn’t seem to be much in the mood – the intent behind it was genuine enough. “Trixie, you saved Equestria, saved the lives of some five dozen captives Corona had taken. Surely you don’t think that I’m still angry with you.” She looked away. “I…I was lying when I said I didn’t banish you here. I did. It is an excellent first appointment, in a way, but it is also small and easily forgotten and has little standing in the Night Court. Sending you here was intended as a punishment.”

Luna looked back to Trixie. “The Night Court is the strictest meritocracy. You have to climb through its ranks yourself, Trixie, get noticed yourself, collect your own favors and prestation. But there was no need for me to send you here, where you’ll essentially be locked out of the Night Court. I will arrange for a proper appointment elsewhere. A junior advisory position in Manehattan or Neigh Orleans, or a minister to one of the protectorate states like Cavallia or Pferdreich, something where, if you’re clever enough, you could actually get noticed – ”

“I was actually hoping I could stay,” Trixie interrupted. Luna looked surprised at Trixie’s desire as the unicorn pressed on. “I mean…I made a horrible first impression on everypony…the residency is a bit of a fixer-upper…Ponyville is kind of the wasteland of Equestria…I’m not sure about the mental stability of some of the ponies here…” she trailed off as she realized that, if she contiued listing all the flaws of Ponyville, the two would be there all night, “…anyway. My friends are here. It’s close to Canterlot so I could even attend the Night Court directly from time to time. And given that I’m your apprentice and I sort of just helped save Equestria, I don’t think being noticed will be a problem.”

Luna considered Trixie carefully, before nodding. “Very well,” she said, as she turned around to leave. Trixie followed, both of them exiting through the front door of the residency (the front aperture, at least, the door itself Trixie had not been able to find), out a sense of tradition if not necessity given the numerous other options Ponyville had seen fit to provide Trixie with. “Stay at a hotel for now, I will arrange for the residency’s repairs.”

Trixie nodded at that, though a second later she flinched a little. “About that…” she said. “I might have spent my entire stipend when I was trying to…well…spite you.”

Luna glanced at Trixie incredulously. “How?” she asked.

“Weather-for-hire ponies aren’t cheap, especially when they’re rushed down from Cloudsdale.”

“But they ended up being superfluous.”

“Their contract specifies ‘no refunds.’”

Luna shrugged. “I suppose I could float you some bits,” she remarked as her horn glowed. With a pop, a small cloth bag appeared in front of Trixie, who caught it telekinetically.

Trixie was puzzled a moment, before sighing. “It was you. The random pony I stopped on the street and paid thirty bits to find Lyra.” She considered as she remembered Luna’s trick prior to the official beginning of the Longest Night. “One of you, anyway.”

“Indeed. I will arrange for more money to be sent to you. But that,” she pointed a hoof at the bag, “is a loan. I expect to be paid back.”

Trixie blinked. “Why? You’re the princess! You haven’t paid for anything in centuries! Millennia, even!”

Luna offered a grin, a more honest one than any she had been able to produce for some time. “Maybe that’s because as the princess, I never get paid. It was a novel experience, and I had plans for those bits.”

What plans?”

Luna didn’t answer as the two reached the residency’s front gate and stepped out into the street. Previously, it having been nighttime for the first time in what Luna had told them was nearly twenty hours of daylight – the longest day in Equestrian history, though far short of Corona’s promised ten days of uninterrupted sunshine – everypony had been asleep or, more likely, lying awake, fearing what Corona was doing to their loved ones. Now, the entire town was up and active in their homes, the sheer elation of having their foals and loved ones returned to them an almost palpable sensation, though that probably wouldn’t persist for long as exhaustion set in and everypony got some much-deserved rest.

Luna turned to Trixie as they stopped. “Now then, Trixie,” she said. “You have friends here, and that’s good. But you’ve had those in the past, too, and managed to drive them away. You must try, hard, not to do that again.”

“I know,” Trixie said, images of previous friends she’d had in Canterlot drifting by in her mind’s eye. Sea Swirl, Amethyst Star, Chocolate Tail… she nodded, looking up at her hat. The Element of Magic was still there. It was, perhaps, a bit gaudy, and Trixie didn’t think she’d make a habit of wearing it all the time. Probably just for formal occasions and whenever she needed to save the world, the latter of which would hopefully be a rare event. “Friendship is magic and all that.”

Luna blinked. “Not the phrasing I would have used…” she admitted, “but completely valid in its own way. But I don’t mean you should keep your friends just to keep the Elements functioning. That would be a hollow, meaningless thing. More than anything else, you should be happy.

Trixie nodded. “I’ll try,” she promised, bowing. “And I’ll see you soon, princess Luna.”

The alicorn inclined her head in acknowledgement, then thought better of it and instead came forward and pulled Trixie into a deep embrace. Trixie remained a not particularly touchy-feely pony and flinched, but after a moment returned the show of affection. Eventually, Luna pulled away, and closed her eyes, horn glowing. In a moment, she had become a nebulous, star-studded mass that rose into the night sky, then shot off.

Trixie watched Luna disappear, then looked to the bag of bits she held. A thought occurred to her, that hadn’t before, but in hindsight it was one she really should have considered first.

“Does Ponyville even have a hotel?” she asked, then paused again. “Would I even be able to check in at this hour? I wonder if Carrot Top has a spare bedroom…”

Comments ( 281 )

And there we go. I had originally intended a somewhat longer epilogue, but I feel I said just about everything I needed to say with this one, and anything else would just be unnecessarily drawing things out.

Note that Carrot Top is Trixie's first choice not because Trixie is particularly close to Carrot Top (Trixie is probably closest to Ditzy Doo and Lyra), but rather because Trixie is fully aware that Carrot Top is the Element of Generosity and is probably going to try and take advantage of that.

She'd pay Carrot Top, of course - whether or not Carrot Top would want to be paid - but Trixie is still Trixie. Kind of a jerk.

Well this was a long and interesting ride and I enjoyed every second of it. I look forward to the next two one-shots, and Crisis on Two Equestrias after that. Keep on writing, and I'll keep reading.:pinkiehappy:

586040
Albeit a jerk with a heart of gold. (Don't tell her that though. She just MIGHT try to pawn it!!:rainbowlaugh:)

Are the original mane 6 going to make more appearances? Because i like this negative twist to them!

And thus, Equestria was safe. For now.

Man, this has been one crazy ride. And it's sad to see it wrap up. Least till the next story.



....man, Now I'm gonna be giddy about what the next story could be.....squeeeeeee.

Well, I don't have any grand closing words or immaculately well thought out review at hand... how about a celebratory gif?

marks.dk/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/slow-clap.gif

Great story. It's been an awesome ride, and I for one can't wait until the next one using this universe :twilightsmile:

All in all a satisfying conclusion if I must say so myself.:twilightsmile:

A great conclusion to this tale... and a great way to lead off into the Lunaverse. :trixieshiftright: Dammit, we need better Trixie icons!

And I think Celestia... might've been the same after Nightmare Moon.

Well done. I've thoroughly enjoyed your interpretation of the characters and the spin you've put on the world. Bravo!

And, yes, Trixie is best jerk.

What a nice thing to wake up to at 1:40 PM. The last chapter to a really good fic, and a brunch with a griled chesse and bacon sandwitch and my final vanila coke.
But any way I had a thought while I was reading this, and it was the Corona get the mane 6 to steal the elements from the Luna 6. Just an idea I had.

Great ending to an excellent story. :trixieshiftright:

I expected more from the epilogue but I'll let that pass.

As for the lunaverse group? Bring it on.

I second djthomp's comment above; a great ending to an excellent story! Corona, even in her weakened state, will be a good recurring threat and source of villainy.

My only criticism is that you, in several places, use the incorrect form "to of" or "must of" instead of "to have" or "must have", and I remember seeing you doing it in previous chapters as well. It's a common mistake, but an annoying one!

Still, this deserves five Trixies out of five. :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::trixieshiftleft:

586040

Well Ditzy is kindness so would probably be more willing to help than generosity, but probably does not have the room. Lyra is probably enthusiastically "reuniting" with Bon Bon so eww... Raindrops might not even live on the ground. And between Cheerilee and Carrot Top one is a schoolteacher and probably lives in an apartment and the other is a farmer and has a house. It really is the only choice that makes sense.

:pinkiehappy: This was a fun ride! Can't wait to follow this universe as it develops!

You gonna have Lunaverse CMCs?

Well that was over all quite interesting. In several ways the whole of this story continuously caught me off guard, being little like what I had imagined, based solely on the Boast Busted.

I find my self quite interested in Corona over all; her insistence that she is still Celestia, her genuine if twisted concern for her subjects, the way she retains her madness even after having her power striped by the Elements, all very much in stark contrast to the way Nightmare Moon was portrayed. Combined with the overall darker tone of this series as compared to the show it leads me to wonder how much, if any, of Corona is an external corrupting influence vs. how much it might actually be a matter of something fundamentally wrong with this Celestia at her core.

Then there is Zecora, I'd largely held off giving much comment to her up until now because I wanted to have as complete a picture as possible of her actions and the motives behind them. I was somewhat holding out the hope that there was more than the obvious going on. That perhaps she was not actually a villain, rather instead that she was merely playing a variant of the trickster chess-master in a bid to see Celestia not only released from her prison in the sun, but also freed from the whatever madness turned her into the monster that is Corona. Part of me is still sort of holding out for that possibility, but it's become an increasing small part.

In the end this story raised more questions than answers, but seeing as it is functionally the first episodes, that is exactly as it should be.



Oh and one more thing. I absolutely loved Trixie crediting Luna with somewhat omniscient awareness of how things would turn out, only to have Luna reject the notion, instead confirming that as Cheerlee had suspected there had never been any real riddle to what she had told Trixie of the sixth element. Poor, poor Trixie Lulamoon, over thinking every thing. She finally lands a staring role were in a verse where she gets to be every bit the hero her counterpart boasts to be, and yet she ends up oddly reminiscent of M6 Twilight on an almost disturbing level. I can hardly wait to see them meet each other.

All in all, a great end to a fantastic story. I don't normally read fanfics, but this and Boast Busted were really well done.

I'm loving what you're doing with this Lunaverse and the ways it deviates from canon. And with only two stories (three with Crisis on Two Equestrias on the horizon) there's plenty of room for this universe to grow.

I'd particularly love a story where Twilight meets a recuperating Corona, demonstrates her extensive magical abilities, and becomes her apprentice. They'd both share a thirst for power (for Twilight, "knowledge IS power") as well as a hatred for a certain Element of Magic, all the while feeding each others' insanities.

Add in loyal prophetic henchmare Zecora and voice-of-reason(HA!) Spike and you got yourself a spin-off of a spin-off.

So this story comes to a close. Boast Busted got me in to the Lunaverse and now this story has me sold on it. Bravo.

Very nice, extremely odd seeing some ponies act so differently, but I really hope you keep writing for this universe, I would love to see how Discord and the Changeling's would work here.

Brilliant. Everything that can be said has already been said, so I'll go for a simple 'bravo!'

I anticipate the next installment with much eagerness.

What a ride!

Lovely story and lovely turnout. I'm looking forward to the continuing adventures of this universe.

Really nice how everything worked out, even when the villain got away. I also found it funny how Luna just isn't the Machiavellian type like Celestia is sometimes portrayed. Just another pony that got lucky, I guess.

Well, not much more to say. I'll keep a sharp eye for any new stories. Till then!

Now that this story has run its course: Well done, have a happy Pinkie Pie! :pinkiehappy:
I'm still undecided whether I can accept the way you handled the Elements of Harmony, Celestia and the roles of Zecora and Spike.
I think it boils down to the question: Why did the EoH not return Corona to Celestia? Either because another important factor for her redemption has not been met: Maybe Luna-verse Luna is not as persuasive as the Mane6-Universe Celestia? Or maybe Trixie can not contain as much of the magic of the elements as Twilight "Powerhouse" Sparkle and released their energy prematurely? Or because Zecora helped Corona escape before Luna could snap Celestia out of her delusions?
Or because Luna-verse Celestia is too far gone and can never be restored. But if this is the case, the Luna-verse will turn Dark (no pun intended). I really can't see how there could be slice-of-life stories about the magic of friendship in a world with the ever-looming Big Bad Corona.

588296
Nightmare Moon also has another difference to Corona - Lauren Faust has said that she was corrupted by dark magic. She's another personality, per se - more like the dark magic she was using was a drug that was altering her personality and influencing her actions, Dark Side of the Force style. With the Elements of Harmony removing those dark powers, Luna could be reasoned with because she no longer had the drug influencing her.

Whereas Corona is...well...insane. I do have ideas for curing her of her insanity, but most of them are vague at the moment.

I'm wary of posting a universe gude at the moment, as I don't want to scare away potential authors. For now, the Lunaverse is fairly fluid and open to any ideas.

Great stuff! I can't wait for more! ^_^

Kinda sucks to be Luna, her big sis is still bonkers, sworn to take her throne, determined to get revenge on all who opposed her and thinks that Luna will either imprison or kill her the next time they meet. Sheesh.... a happy ending was not in her cards.
Going to really sting if she ever meets her Mane6 counterparts.:unsuresweetie:

Corona makes an interesting villian, she wants to rule because she truly believes that she's the only one that can protect everyone from well everything. Don't see that type too often. The only one that comes to mind is the Ultron from the Next Avengers movie, robot built to save and protect humanity but instead conquers it because it decided saving them from themselves would be more effective.
That brings up a question: is Corona being Luna's older sister common knowledge or did it become myth and legend to the point that they've become seperate entities like the Ancient Royal Pony Sisters from the show pilot?

This was an excellent ending/start err...pilot, the Lunaverse has really shown how different it is from the mane show and I look forward to what next you have in store.:twilightsmile:

As for the alternate Summer Sun Celebration, there's Day of the Brightest Flame or maybe Day of the Hidden/Missing Shadows.

As for the Cadence issue you could always go the Blueblood route and have her be a distant relative. It's a tricky slope since no one knows a lot about alicorns. I guess it depends on wither you want her to be immortal/long lived or just under powered.
That artist Egophalic had a theory behind Celestia being so old because since she was tied to Luna, she stopped aging as long as Luna stayed on the Moon.

NTL

That was a great story. I think one of my favorite parts towards the end was Cheerilee correcting Corona's speech and laughing in her face. But your biggest star is definitely Trixie, I love her portrayal by you so much. Corono not being redeemed after her defeat was another good twist to the orginal universe. I honestly didn't see it coming.

I looking forward to more stories from your Lunaverse. I wouldn't mind a little more Slice of Life the next time around. The ponies just being ponies and interacting with each other were the best scenes of your story.

Keep up the good work :twilightsmile:
NTL

And thus, it comes to a close. Great job you've done here, I hope to see more of it soon!
Have a Big Mac: :eeyup:

Damn, but this is currently the best Alternate Universe for FiM in existence right now, and nothing short of the Gods of writing working together can top it. No, not even a 63'd Lunaverse, as great as Connor could make that with enough exposure to RDD's thinking, would be as good as this. I AWAIT MORE AWESOMENESS! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Trixie_lolface_1.png

Hey, RDD, remember how Boast Busted made me un-hate and then like Trixie? She's basically my all-time favourite pony now. "How" is really all I can say.

Wonderful work! This really is a great story. I think the best thing you've done here is resist the temptation to make everything too much like the canon events and characters. I especially like your characterization of Luna. She's very different from canon Celestia, but has her own brand of kindness and generosity. She's also a lot less smugly omniscient than Celestia.

And later, During the events of the end of Season 2 of MLP:FIM alternate, a mysterious unicorn infiltrated Corona's lair (formerly the changeling hive) while the latter was making her presence known in Canterlot during the wedding, stole battle plans and rescued a baby dragon. These were later found in the vacant lot where the birthplace of the-now prince Armour once stood except for the dragon. Rumours of the mare's appearance match those of the urban legend known only as The Violet Shadow, supposedly a criminal and anarchist (follower of the unpopular political leader Discord) and all around disreputable pony. With bad ponies like her, who needs good ponies?

587628
Interesting that you should mention Machiavellian politics. Luna is, if anything, more Machiavellian than Mane Celestia, or at least more open about it...she even asked Trixie whether it's better to be loved or feared, in order to get her to answer that it doesn't matter, what matters is avoiding hatred - just like Machiavelli said.

(Machiavelli is often misquoted on that "loved or feared" thing. He said ideally you have both; if you can't have both then you should pick the one that works better for your style and the needs of the times; but in his opinion, fear is better than love because you can control what people fear but you can't as easily control what they love; but regardless of whether you are loved or feared, you must avoid *hatred* at all costs - that is, you should never seem so beneficent as to appear weak, and you should never be so feared that your people would rather be without you).

Well I'm actually surprised, you kept Trixie relatively in character instead of reducing her to the woobie (the character who life is cruel too and you feel pity for). Of course I wonder if I am alone in seeing she isn't the woobie? How ever Luna comes off pretty badly if you actually look at it, she fails multiple times where Celestia had succeeded. I am impressed that you did manage to keep most everypony else in character. Most interesting is of course that Trixie has to depend much more heavily on her friends to save the day than Twilight does, perhaps because wile Twilight is socially awkward Trixie is downright abrasive.

596190
A lot of authors, writing about Mane universe Trixie, have Trixie with a tragic past and deep psychological reasons for why she wanders the countryside. She's running, she's afraid to go home, etc. Me, my take was that she was living the dream. Her goal in life had *always* been to be a travelling magician and she honestly enjoyed life on the road and the independence it granted.

As for my Luna verses mane Celestia...well, "Crisis on Two Equestrias" is going to have a line which I'm going to tease now but not give you any context for.

"Mine's bigger," Luna observed.

Is it possible that Corona (Celestia, whichever) may have some goodness in her yet? I hope that she may yet one day repent for her mistakes. Also, I wonder if Zecora may really be a good guy, but she is just working behind the scenes (undercover) After all, she was loyal to Corona, but not once did she even lay a hoof on the ponies, not even with potions & spells or whatnot. :trixieshiftleft:.(yes I remember what she said about combat) Will you be revealing what became of them in a later story? :pinkiehappy: I would LOVE to see how you do your take on the Return of Harmony 2-part episode! I can just imagine Discord trying to 'discordify' Derpy by dressing up as a giant muffin only for it to fail like it did Fluttershy!:derpytongue2::rainbowlaugh: I can't wait to see the next adventure of the New Mane Six!:twilightsmile:

597077
Well seems to me Nightmare Moon was a invention of Luna's to get revenge while Tyrant Corona was ALSO an invention of Luna's to explain Celestia's behavior. Celestia has the best of intentions but believes she must rule with and iron hoof for everypony's own good. She along with Zecora and Spike are doing the completely wrong thing for the right reasons.

I would myself would like to see some episodes redone but have the core event not change, forcing Trixie and Co to have to deal with one of more of original Mane 6. The idea of the protagonists having to deal with NOT being the heroes of the story. How would Trixie and co deal with The Cutie Mark Crusaders? How would Trixie react to her friends having to go to Rarity for their Gala dresses? How would Fluttershy's modeling career progress with out Twilight for her and Rarity to confide in and being a background event to Trixie's Elements of Harmony. What about Rainbow's Sonic Rainboom, did it still happen? Are the original mane 6 still destine to unite? And if they do what will happen?

Lets not also forget Trixie has disrupted one of the Apple Family's biggest nights. How will the loss of business effect them? javascript:smilie(':ajsleepy:'); How will Rainbow Dash's performance at the Best young Flier's completion go with only Fluttershy rooting for her?javascript:smilie(':fluttershysad:');javascript:smilie(':rainbowhuh:');

597791

I would myself would like to see some episodes redone but have the core event not change, forcing Trixie and Co to have to deal with one of more of original Mane 6.

I called that story Boast Busted

I don't think Rainbow Dash could possibly get Futtershy to even follow her to Cloudsdale, given how introverted Fluttershy has become in this universe. Having said that, a tremendous amount of the pressure that Dash felt was the direct result of Rarity being a colossal dick. So she might not be able to pull of a second Sonic Rainboom, but I think she'd still go on stage, think to herself that she's doing this for Fluttershy (who believes in her even if she can't get over her agorophobia), and proceed to put on an awesome, flawless show, sans Rainboom.

Heck, she'd probably even still win it.

As for the other ones...

- Fluttershy in this probably doesn't even know Rarity, so there'd be no modeling career (as Rarity's connections were needed for it to even begin in the first place).
- The Cutie Mark Crusade probably won't begin. Applebloom's anxiety over not having a cutie mark was largely a result of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon being bitches to her; in this universe, though, where the Apple Trust is a major business enterprise, it's probably that Diamon Tiara's family and Applebloom's family are closer, such that even if Diamon Tiara and Applebloom aren't friends, they will at least afford each other more respect. So Applebloom's anxiety never develops in the firt place, or else remains a secondary concern (I did tease that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are still friends, though).
- Luna may have more-or-less forgiven Trixie for being a jerk to everypony, but she'll still probably expect Trixie to make up with Rarity and Applejack somehow.

597964
Well it is your overall decision as these are your fics, but remember in Cannon the Rich and Apple families are intertwined quite a bit and Tiara is an entitled little brat, she might still look down on the Apples because they handle the labor side of things. Being in business together doesn't necessarily negate classisum. Thought if I read you right in this verse the Apple Family is more financially connected as a single company than just related families, but just cause the Trust won't be heavily effected doesn't mean Applejack and her family won't be. There is a big difference between being the owner of a large company vs being part of it. Though I think I said before how Trixie sees the Apples is colored by how Carrot Top does, Carrot Top can't help but see the Apples as her adversaries and assumes the Apples in Ponyville are rolling in bits because the Apple Trust is. Same goes for her perception of Rainbow, it's very colored by how Raindrops sees Rainbow. Raindrops admitted as frustrating as Rainbow Dash is she gets the job done.

597791 Maybe you could make up your own story where the Lunaverse counterparts of the Original Mane Six (canon mane six) meet & become the bearers of the Rainbow of Light & teams up with the Lunaverse Mane Six (Trixie & co.) to stop Tirek :pinkiegasp: (who was released by the now psychotic Celestia as revenge) & save Equestria! Not to mention restoring Celestia's sanity! :pinkiecrazy:Then everypony lived Happily Ever After!!! The End!:pinkiehappy:

I'm sorry. I want to like this story, I really really do, but I can't. There are a number of reasons for this, but it boils down to one thing -
so many ponies are jerks. the Luna6, the original Mane6, random ponies in the town, it is full of jerks.

It seems that some of the commentors here have noted some of the other problems, so I will not turn this into a list of what I didn't like about it.

I'm still going to finish reading, but not out of a burning need to see how it ends. Rather, I enjoyed Boast Busted, but this story lacked the fun that made me enjoy the first story so much.

Ok, she's not a jerk, just useless and uninteresting as a character. And with her one scene I have read so far, she is entirely disposable to the story.

What is frustrating to me is that Boast Busted did not have this liability. Trixie was a jerk (but knew it and was called on it) and Twilight was awkward, but the characters were likable.

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I don't quite understand how everybody's a jerk. Cheerilee wasn't a jerk at any point. Lyra was kind of more snarky than anything, and not even all that much. Ditzy Doo is a big glob of Kindness. Carrot Top is very demure. Raindrops is just annoyed with Rainbow Dash. And Trixie...well, her entire character is that she's a jerk.

As for the mane six, Rarity and Pinkie Pie are wholly in-character for the mane universe, just seen from the perspective of ponies who wouldn't put up with it. Rainbow Dash has always been a jerk, and Applejack can be a jerk when she's stubborn, too, so nothing's changed there. And Fluttershy is, well, not a jerk.

As for the other ponies in town, we've met who do anything in specific:
- The people in BonBon's shop, who don't even do anything other than serve as a slew of cameos;
- BonBon, who's actions consist mostly of making out with Lyra and commenting that Drunk Trixie is fun;
- A randrom dark blue pony whom Trixie accosts on the street demanding that she go find Lyra, and who therefore has every reason to be a jerk to Trixie (and isn't even for very long);
- Dinky Doo, who is adorable;
- And the mayor, who basically just does announcements.

I don't understand where you're coming from.

Lyra as snarky or Lyra as completely unlikable is a threshold of personal taste, and she seemed to cross over that line fairly early. Cheerilee doesn't come off as a direct asshat at first, but by her second scene and the conflict with Rarity it seems entirely contrived rather than flowing from the characters.

Of the Mane 6 only Pinkie does not have major deviations from her cannon (show) personality, Rarity repeatedly calling Trixies outfit a 'clown suit' is nasty and far out of character for her, if she chooses to insult someones outfit she would be more subtle. Dash is the most extreme sort of the fanon depiction of her, perhaps within the scope of her character but outside of the feel. Because you allow Carrot and Trixies assertion that the Apple family does not have money problems to go unchallenged you make AJ both a jerk and a Liar.

of the Lunar6, Carrot harps on the Apple Clan, Raindrop grips about RD, Trixie seems to hate everything, Cheerilee clashes with Rarity.

Individually, these points could be overlooked entirely. When the story comes at me in one big rush, with nobody to really root for, I am left wondering what the story is trying to tell. Alternate universe can be a fun exercise in what if, but I am left with a pile of characters that seem very different from the source and no good reason why that would be. Trixie vs Twilight in Boast Busted did this sort of thing very well, but the character changes in this story seem forced.

I apologize if by mistake I used hyperbole to imply that 100% of the characters are jerks. I do not mean to say that. I do mean that I have a hard time finding a character in this story to pull for, the negative moments took me out of the story enough to ruin my enjoyment.

With all that said, I have not finished reading the story yet, the latter half may change my opinion.

To quote a certain parody comic: “Never trust a zebra!”

***

I don’t like the ending. I knew that Boast Busted already spoiled it since Corona was still at large in that story, but somehow I hoped that it would be different. I really wanted a happy ending in which the Elements would’ve cured Corona and turned her back into a loving, caring ruler. Maybe it’s because of all those NLR stories (Luna = Good; Celestia = evilllllllllllll!!!!!) that I don’t like an evil version of Celestia that isn’t caused by an outside influence. So I hope you are happy because you crushed the last glimmer of hope I had.

So yeah, it was an awesome story and I can’t wait to read your next piece of work that takes place in this universe. Sure I hoped that there would be a different ending, but nevertheless it was still great and we don’t always get what we want and sometimes a sad ending is the better ending even if we would wish for something different.

By letting Celestia escape, we got an returning villain with a lot of potential. The fact that she has a very skilled potion maker and baby dragon that can be turned into a mindless monster one her side makes her a very dangerous foe. Poor Spike even in this universe he would‘ve been better off with Twilight. Speaking about Twilight: Why do I believe she will run into Celestia who offers her a position as her personal student, thus turning her into Trixie’s personal nemesis?

This also means we’re not going to see Discord at least not in the near future. After all there’s already a mad goddess out there who keeps the Luna Six busy, so there’s no need for another big bad. And a team-up between Celestia and Discord doesn’t seem very likely.

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Ah, but, the events that lead to Discord's release in the main universe - that is, Celestia and Luna's ties to the Elements of Harmony having been severed - have been set in motion here, too...

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In that case I'm really curious to see what happens if you throw him into the mix.

Oh and there's something else that bothers since quiet a while. Why is Cheerilee an EoH? Yes she's a good element of laugther no complains there but someone it doesn't feels that right. We have four background ponies with non (or in case of Derpy almonst non) canon personality, an one-shot "antagonist" as leader and Cheerilee who's a recurring character with an establish personality.

No complaint, just something that seems a bit strange to me that you didn't use another background pony like Berry Punch for example.

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At the time that I was coming up with them all, "Hearts & Hooves Day" hadn't come out yet, so Cheerilee was still basically just a background pony who'd had all of three speaking lines. I did contemplate another earth pony for a little bit, specifically Roseluck, but I thought it'd be neat to have a teacher.

Ok this is by far, if not the best story i've read in a long time. I love the way you made Trixie a jerk yet at the same time still likeable. If anything I kinda like this Lunaverse better then the main6verse. Each of the characters feels real and fleshed out, except Cheerilee. she definitely feels like she belongs but she doesn't seem as fleshed out as lyra or raindrops however i account that to her being a sorta secondary character in the main6verse, as well not being in Boast Busted. Other then that this was a great story for me. For this is to writing as The Avengers is to movies

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