<

Silver Cloud

Joined December 2011
205 followers

Stories (3)

  • I Miss You
    Rainbow Dash misses Twilight Sparkle, and lets her know by writing letters

    4,032 words · 10,128 views · 972 likes · 26 dislikes
  • Something
    Twilight can't sleep and something's wrong in the Everfree Forest
    5,760 words · 678 views · 19 likes · 0 dislikes
  • Good Timing
    Big Mac has an unexpected hobby and takes a perfect opportunity to practise it.
    3,888 words · 2,281 views · 37 likes · 6 dislikes

Blog Posts (9)


There are some things in life that really shouldn't be messed with: an angry Ursa Major for example, or Granny Smith's naptime.

But Big Macintosh has always preferred to write his own rules, and when you have the kind of secret that he has, that's probably a good thing...

A short and silly story with a few big words in it. Celestia help us all.

First Published
11th Mar 2012
Last Modified
11th Mar 2012

Comments ( 15 )

#1 · 110w, 5h ago · · ·

:eeyup:

Kinda funny considering this week's episode. :twilightoops: Talk about good timing...

>_>

<_<

Anyhoo, I finally wrote something incoherent enough that I decided to finish it, and lol and behold, it got finished.

Hope you enjoyed it to some extent - the idea came from a conversation I had with someone about the paradoxes involved in this kind of thing, and I just kinda ran with it.

Why did I use Big Mac? Well, because he's clearly the right pony for this kind of story...

The fact that there are some fancy words in there is intentional, they're not just for the sake of sounding pretentious. That's a side benefit.

Also, I'll take this opportunity to promote my own deviantART. Check it out if you'd like.

Also also, chances are if you read this, you did so because ImJustAnotherBrony directed you here, for which I'm grateful, but if you didn't, go read his stuff. It's longer, better and makes more sense than this did.

Also also also, if anypony comes up with a better description, that'd be awesome too... :twilightsheepish:

Ezn
#2 · 109w, 6d ago · · ·

Cute story, spits. :pinkiesmile: The idea of Mac as a secret genius is a fun one, and totally plausible considering how little we know about him. And fancy mathematics, of course.

I'm imagining another version where Mac goes eight hundred thousand years into the future and meets a bunch of Eloicorns and Ponlocks.

>The fact that there are some fancy words in there is intentional, they're not just for the sake of sounding pretentious. That's a side benefit.

I wouldn't worry too much about this. I didn't find any words that sounded like they'd been shoehorned in in a bad attempt to make the author look good, and I'm pretty big on rooting that stuff out and destroying it (say "utilise" and I will scratch out the "tilis"). If anything, you could use fewer instances of "began to verb" and "the fact that", but there weren't even that many.

Apart from that, I recommend using more paragraphs. I probably lean a mite too heavily on short paragraphs in my own writing, but they're great for action scenes!

I hope you write more!

PS: I've PMed you with the few typos I found.

#3 · 109w, 6d ago · · ·

>>312238

Thanks :pinkiehappy:

Ooh, there's an idea. I might have to do that too

Thanks for the crits - I'll bear them in mind next time :pinkiesmile:

And fixed the errors - merci beaucoup !

#4 · 109w, 6d ago · · ·

"Well okay then. Ah guess ah'll see ya later then big brother."    Ah, is that really necessary, I hate that... :ajbemused:

Clopping his front hooves together twice, he continued onwards while above him a strip of lighting illuminated by itself, revealing the marvels that lay within. (lol) :rainbowlaugh:

and a chalkboard... :rainbowlaugh:

Alright alright. Enough, I'm just going to finish reading now.

/....

Okay then. First off, I'm not underwhelmed, this was funny and interesting. I'd ask where you came up with the idea to write this, but... so where did you get the idea to write this?

Big Mac being a genius is funny, I think he was probably the best choice for this story as well. I also liked Rainbow's names, heh. This should have a comedy tag, it's a lot funnier than some of the other "comedies" I've read, even though it's not exactly a comedy.

Excellent job describing the past by the way, I didn't have any trouble visualizing it. Also, dat ending... :facehoof:

I'm not really sure what else to say, other than FINALLY!

And of course I'll promote this. How could I not. :rainbowkiss:

#5 · 109w, 6d ago · · ·

>>312715

"Ah, is that really necessary"

:eeyup:

"so where did you get the idea to write this?"

I was having a conversation with someone about time paradoxes and stuff and the situation at the end came up. I kinda just ran with it from there, trying to make the first little bit of it sound like something else entirely was happening :rainbowwild:

"This should have a comedy tag"

Thanks, but I don't think it was really funny enough to deserve one

"I didn't have any trouble visualizing it."

Really? Wow, I thought people would have, given how little time I spent on descriptions...

"Also, dat ending..."

Facehoof indeed. :facehoof:

"And of course I'll promote this."

:rainbowkiss: :heart: wub woo

#6 · 109w, 6d ago · · ·

This was pretty awesome^^ Thumbs up!

And, since this is marked as "Complete"...

Tracking!

#7 · 109w, 22h ago · · ·

....oops.

#8 · 109w, 21h ago · · ·

Huh, is that truly the end? We don't see how/if Big Mac escapes?

#9 · 109w, 15h ago · · ·

>>332576

Nope, that's the point of it - it's left up to your imagination. Sorry if it's disappointing.

#10 · 109w, 9h ago · · ·

Awwww, man! A one shot?? Damn, and I was looking forward to seeing how Mac would get out of this.

So, left up to our imagination, huh? Alright, I suppose I'll just go for the anticlimatically bizzare-- Dr. Whooves suddenly shows up outta nowhere and whisks him away a giant katamari from outta nowhere rolls over the rest of the dino-ponies.

Ha. Kidding. Well, still, a shame this ends on such a note. It would be really fun to see more of Big Mac's adventures through time. At least in the prehistoric era, anyway.

#11 · 109w, 9h ago · · ·

>>333100

If it was disappointing, I wouldn't care. As it is, I wanted to see what happened next. Consider it a... vitriolic compliment?

#12 · 109w, 3h ago · · ·

so frustrating, that timey-wimey stuff is... anyway, good luck with that one big mac!

#13 · 109w, 26m ago · · ·

Fun little alt reality tale. Could have done without the AppleDash reference though.

#14 · 108w, 5d ago · · ·

>>333640 I'm liking this Katamari idea :rainbowlaugh:

Seriously though, I am considering the possibility of doing more Big Mac through time stuff now, just because so many have mentioned they'd like it. Challenge considered. :duck:

>>333730 In that case, have my bitter thanks :twilightsmile:

>>335651 Sorry, I love references :rainbowwild:

#15 · 43w, 3d ago · · ·

This is quite good. Too bad its so short.

>>341155 Is there any chance for that continuation?

~N

0 14644 44615
Login or register to comment