(This is a Crossover with Halo. If that genre offends you, you need not read any further.)
Cortana has several problems, and very little she can do to solve any of them. Being stranded on half of a ship in deep space, with the clock on her lifespan slowly running out, she gets desperate enough to try almost anything.
She goes so far as to land her half-ship on a strange astronomical anomaly, in the slim hope of finding a method of FTL travel on it. Now, her latest problem consists of understanding the mind-bending physics of this planetary crime against reason, without prematurely going insane.
Chief wakes up on a new planet, and is, as always, presented with aliens he needs to kill in order to accomplish his mission.
Equestria witnesses the arrival of a large object from space, and has to deal with the fallout of it's destructive crash landing. Though the real threat the object poses is not something anypony could have anticipated.
(Knowledge of the Halo games is advised, though not strictly required.)
*******************************************************
Rated Teen for gore... rating may be subject to change, we'll see.I am currently looking for an editor, pre-reader, and/or proofreader, preferably someone who can double check me on the lore when it comes up. Shoot me a PM if interested. I've got a few people who have generously offered their help. Thanks for offering to help make this as good as it can be!
Will update tags as story progresses.
Fair-warning, this story is secondary to my other one and will update less frequently.
I'll give it a read. The word count for the first chapter is making me very hopeful :D
try not to insert these present-tense bits in the middle of a past-tense paragraph, it makes the whole thing feel awkward. Your Discord bits are fine because I can tell it's an internal monologue of events as they are happening
3773022
Thanks for catching that!
I'll try to keep a better eye on my tenses moving forward.
Well it is inline with both the books and games, up to were you started, so great work keep it up. ...I want to see if Jon ever does silence one for good.
I love me some Halo crossovers!
i love halo crossovers, and this is already one of my favorites : )
15,000 Words first chapter?
Decently written to boot?
Definitely favored and watched to see more of it
Let me guess, the admin turned off friendly fire?
He shot her in the face. That was my favorite moment right there.
Is MC gonna get some boo-tee or are you being realistic and smart about this.
I'm going to assume it's the latter (thank god) because I've seen it done before and the result was the sickest, most poorly thought out abomination of compiled words to ever rape-train their way into my eyeballs.
But this...I like this.
What's with the first person Discord bits? They're really jaring and don't flow with the rest of the story. Pick a tense and stick with it, don't jump between them.
Other than that, this is writen really well and I hope to see lots more.
i might as well read it next week or so........ painfully
i hope master chief doesn't kill anypony for no reason thats not like him.
Keep this up!
This is looking very interesting, and I like the interaction dynamics you have set up so far. It makes sense that the Chief cannot understand the locals, and it also makes sense that he would try to avoid contact as much as possible. That said, it does seem a bit strange that the ponies seem to be bulletproof while the rest of the wildlife is not, although the lack of dead ponies does make interactions easier.
Also, I noticed two little spots where you accidentally slipped into present tense which I copied below so you can find them easily.
3774368
You should give this a read man it's wonderful. A few small technical problems but it makes up for it by being one of the most well thought out Halo crossovers I've read.
Also are you sure? I mean every single alien species ever encountered in the Halo-verse has tried to kill humanity at some point. I think that gives him a very good reason to shoot first. I'm usually not a fan if that kind if thing unless it makes sense but I actually like MC's attitude here. Killing is a means and that's it, he holds no reguard for the life of anything standing in his way. Obstacles are to be removed and there is little to no other considerations.
awesome
holy shit this is great! i just wish he hadn't just shot twilight without a good reason. anyway, here's hoping for another chapter soon!
Suddenly - awesome appears!
Seriously though, this one chapter (albeit a long one) has me HOOKED! I'm all in, hook line and sinker. I really really really do hope this continues as it is, though a small part MLP FIM style silliness would be welcome.
Well, this was a pleasant surprise.
Very promising, I will be watching
this looks like its going to be awesome
3774818
So did he kill her or not because that's kinda what's stopping me from reading this
Like, I WANT to read this, but I like Twilight.
*wildly looks around* What left field did this come out of and why was I not informed that such awsomeness existed!? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Um.
Arbitrarily fluctuating gravity, beginning at a 3G reading?
Master Chief shooting first, I can understand, but Master Chief shooting AFTER making both the points that limited contact is desirable and that negotiations may be in order, less so.
And bulletproof ponies is a deal-breaker. The only reason for them to be bulletproof is the shoot-first portrayal of the Chief and Cortana, and there's really no good explanation given.
Good luck with future chapters, but I doubt I'll be reading.
3775358
She's fine. Those turrets on the Dawn weren't shooting green beans, and Luna's guards were fine, even if they were shot in the head where no armor was covering them. And I'm guessing that it isn't a physical fitness thing, either. If one member of a species is bullet proof, then ALL of them should be bullet proof.
Besides, it basically outright says the world operates on child logic. Kids understand guns hurt, but not necessarily that they can kill people. That's why you hear about kids accidentally shooting people. Ergo, getting shot, if you're sapient, doesn't kill you. If you're a big monster, of course you die. You're evil, that's how it works.
3775515 Ah ok so it's like that well thanks for answering me
3775469
please refer to this comment:
3775515
Now I wanna play Halo 4 and kill myself as punishment for chief shooting Twilight -_-
how do i put this gently THIS IS AWESOME!
>strange astronomical anomaly
Should be 'strange astrological anomaly'.
Now author, I have incredible hopes for this story, hopes so high my faith In every other story has just dropped significantly so I could add that faith to this story. Now I've had this feeling about many stories before and a good 40% of them have done and gone flopped. To put it in a more understandable non-retarted sounding sentence, they left me very very disappointed with all of their wasted potential and complete bass ackwards writing necessities. The word count had me excited at first glance and I was not disappointed with the first chapter at all, everything.... Except the guards getting blasted in the face by the Forward Unto Dawn turrets and surviving...... That stuff made me go. Wat. Seriously, they should be...hmmm, I don't know....MELTED PIECES OF FLESH. Though I've read the explanation that the place runs on child logic yes, but that to me seems quite lazy and could lead to some really really stupid events happening such as shooting a pony directly in the face. And it not dying from getting shot....y'know, in the face.
Not to mention just that everything in that place runs on child logic, but when you throw in an object that does not abide by those same rules from an entirely different universe or dimension, wouldn't that object absoltuely wreck all previous rules and be able to do whatever it pleases and abide by it's own rules? It'd make more sense to me that way considering chief is from an entirely different galaxy and planet and quite possibly a diffrent universe/dimension, and if equestria has that stupid child logic.... How did it get put there, and who the hell is making it! I stand by my thoughts on chief abiding by his own laws of physics if any of that is the case since this planet's physics are clearly.... Not the same as the conventional planet's.
Nevertheless I am very glad to see this story on the featured bar because it rightfully deserves to be there and you can count me in on watching and waiting for the next chapter to come out. The possibilities on the word count of the next chapter are endless, and I love really long chapters. c:
Have a good day and I'll catch you in the next chapter....whenever that is released! :D
3773272 JOHN. NOT JON...UNLESS JOHN IS NOW JON JAFARI....THAT'D BE SOME SHIT.
Oh yeah, and my complaint that twilight isn't y'know. Bleeding, or dead. That pisses me off on so many levels , not because I hate twilight, I love her as a character, but as in. She should be dead, DEAD, or atleast bleeding.
3775358
She's just out cold. From what I've observed, projectile weapons will have decreased leathality to the magic saturated bodies of Ponykind. Energy based weaponry might have more deadly results.
3775469
I was confused by this at first too ... what i've come to justify it as in my mind was that the gravitational field's influence is three times as large in volume while the feild's INTENSITY is that of earth-norm ... or close enough to it
as for bulletproof ponies ... it seems the author is working their way up to an explanation for that ... for now i'm content to believe that they just have
zee magiks
AMAZZZINNGGG
YOU GOT ALOT OF IT CORRECT, RATE MAX FOR U
3774256 Why not? It is Discord, if he wants to hijack the story, let em.
I liked the transition; Discord is a jarring character, it fit.
If John is so damn worried about the bugs being interpreted as an attack, why the hell did he use "lethal" force on the first sapient creature he ran into? Seriously, for a soldier that made friends with a Sangheili that was part of an army out to make the galaxy extinct, you'd think he'd be a little more intelligent than that. Right now he's acting like an idiot. Albeit an idiot with military training.
3774719
And yet he makes friends with the Arbiter and proceeds to work with him and the rest of the Covenant with no problems...while I agree he would be overly cautious (avoid contact at all costs), once he does come into contact with them, his mindset shouldn't immediately change to "whelp, they've seen me, better kill everyone so they think I'm a bloodthirsty killer".
If anything, as a Space Marine, training for first contact should be mandatory, especially for someone of Master Chief's status and "experience" with xenos.
+1 Aproval
3774719 mmmmmm okay i'll give it a go just like the last halo fanfic that i read.
top kek
3775586
No problem. We all think differently, so missing out on that part's no big deal. Guess me and the author think on the same level concerning this sort of thing, so it was more apparent.
I personally think that trying to have minimal contact by shooting a member of a sentient species in the head isn't the best way to go Chief
Im liking the story so far, lets just see how long it is before an update then shall we?
FINALLY! A Halo crossover that actually shows the Spartans full ability. You, sir, are my new favorite author for a Halo Fic. All the other ones that I have read did not capture the speed, strength, and brains of a Spartan. I'm guessing none of them have actually read the Halo series.
Again, thank you for showing the somewhat full potential a Spartan has.
3776172
I beg to differ. The Elites (Sangheili, if you wanna go by their proper name) only joined with the humans after the rest of the Covenant turned on them. Before that they were perfectly happy to be a part of the religious crusade against mankind.
As for the Chief's relationship with the Arbiter, I can't really say. I think it was more a working relationship than anything, if only because I'm one hundred percent positive that they would have tried to kill each other before the betrayal. Well, that and you don't get over several years of two species trying to kill each other just like that.
3775687 Cortana mentioned some curious warping when the turrets shot at Luna and company, which kept the bullets from penetrating. Luna specifically noted that she had not cast a shield spell. Twilight here definitely does not have a shield spell, but the same phenomenon occurs... no penetration, just high kinetic force.
I think this may be related to the child-like gravity. Cortana noted that the gravity functions as a child expects it to function. Similarly, bullets behave in accordance with a kids show, they CANNOT kill a pony, or probably even a sapient animal. It's not something the residents control, its just part of the overall mystery of the world.
So yes, she should be dead, but it looks like there's a good reason.
3774671
Thanks for spotting those, I'll have them fixed in a moment here.
3775680
I'll look, but if you could point out where exactly I made the typo, I'd appreciate it.
*goes to bed with 8 favorites*
*wakes up to > 170*
....
"Sweet mother of god, I got featured?!"
*goes catatonic*
So ponies are stronger than seraphs? Cause that's what point defense turrets are mainly used against.
3775982
But it doesn't. At all.
The exact same effect could have been achieved by staying with 3rd person past tense without disrupting the flow of the writing. Example:
See? Same effect with out the jarring break in flow. The only reason I brought it up in the first place is because the rest of the story is so well written, Discord's bit comes off as amateur in comparison.