NINJAS!!!!

This is by far my favorite fanfic.

L for LUNA!!!!

Also I have the sneaking suspicion that someone with a quirky personality might turn out to be Near with a gem fetish.

I would find it pretty funny if Twi and L had a little conversation. Would be hilarious. Just to read about them ogling each other.

And this is extremely good reading. Very good.

All I have to say is my reaction to the revelation of L's identity, in exact order of emotional occurrence: , , , , , ,

And watch the Near-analogue either have scales or go around emptying fridges. (After all, flying around delivering the mail takes it out of her and she needs to load up.)

I really don't understand how this only got Star-4 on Equestria Daily. This is one of my favourite crossover fanfics! Can't wait 'till the next one!

>>2375123751

I get the feeling it's the controversy. Not only does this particular crossover make it less accessible to those who aren't already fans of the series, but people actually seemed to get riled up over the comparison. Hate to be pessimistic, but I feel that for that reason even if I pull off something brilliant, this story will never acheive more than moderate popularity. Or maybe I'm just terribly vain and reading too much into it. Oh well. It's still wonderful to hear that those who like it like it a lot.

don't do it.  DONT DO IT!

Wow. Twilight just crossed the moral event horizon...

No going back now.

>>2387423874

I never watched this show (Death Note) before, but I find this to be an enjoyable story.  I'm not a huge fan of corrupting characters of the Mane cast, but this one was done expertly, with Twilight only crossing the moral event horizon on chapter 7.

My opinion on what should happen next?  Your decision Mr. Nonagon.  My experience tells me that adding Applejack (whether it be the pony, the cereal, or the hard cider) makes everything better.

What is this?! are we in an alternative universe? that thing just came out of left field!!! Pinkie is right, something is not right at all.

Also: Next chapter twilight reads a book? MADNESS.!!!

Another great chapter!

F****** NICE STORY...  omg... My mind is blown after L revealed Kira is in Ponyville...

And until Pinkie said something I was trying to remember the Golem in Death Note.

What? Seriously, first to comment? Am i the only one right now that bother to say how AWESOME this story is?

"play Faust" Oh you!

Man, I wonder what L is going to do now that she has no leads...

Twilight is awewsome in this, I can see already the struggling of morality here.

Twilight is now like a drug addict, she is so obsess with keeping her and the death note safe that she is didn't consier the hipocresy of killing an innocent filly, and know that she realized that she can't take the blame for her mistakes, she is blaming everyone else, especially L. She is becoming the same thing she hates the most and i LOVE every minute of it.

>>3920939209

I spent ages fretting over getting just the right blend of guilt and projection into that scene. It's great to hear it turned out so well.

I'd rather not clutter the page with replies all over the place (I'm kind of a neat freak like that...) so I'll just take the opportunity to give a great big THANK YOU to everyone who's commented so far. Getting feedback is the best part of writing, be it positive or negative. Love you all.

-9

L where is L!?!?!

I love it! So much in the writing that you couldn't see much of in the manga and anime versions :D

Keep up the truly AWESOME work.

Twilight went from crazy to all out monstrous in three chapters.  I find myself rooting for L.

Are you going to thread anywhere from the original deathnote manga? If not, then I know every single piece of the story and Celestia WILL die by twilight's hand. Sorry for spoilers if any

>>4511045110

Haven't read the manga, I'm afraid, so I really can't say. Even if I had, the story is going to drift further and further away from the original plot as time goes on anyway.

Woah wait wha? You did not read the original manga? How can you even be writing this while being pretty darn close to the manga itself?

>>4615846158

Image: http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/entries/icons/medium/000/006/039/shrugging-pinkie-pie.png?1307569775

You are very good at recreating the original feel of the Death Note series. More impressive is that you do it in a setting with Cute Ponies. You don't forget little details like how a Pony carries things.

I'm also hoping Twi(Light) gets caught by L in this version, yeah I know it would be kinda cliche to let L win instead of Light but L never caught and convicted Light and I always wanted to see that,

Anyways keep up the good work, your writing is very impressive especially in this chapter, I also now understand why quotation marks are important in conversations since I gotta go back and fix one of my stories tonight so thanks for that as well

interesting

Favoriting this.

It is always such a joy to read this fic. This is the story that I am always the most eager to read.

But that last sentences confuses me. "Season finale" what does it means? The Gala? (Now that would be awesome).

Or is it the end of the story?(if thats so I am going to cry). Hope not. because I want an ending of epic proportions.

How I picture it:

Twilight in the precense of the elements of harmony, celestia and L/(Near ?)  confront twilight, and she, cornered, starts losing her mind until she laughs like a maniac and stare at celestia in the eyes, saying: I am Kira. Which in turn would destroy Celestia emotionally.

Spike is not present because like Soichiro Yagami he dies beliving twilight is innocent.

>>5676156761

No, it means exactly what it sounds like. It bothered me that the Death Note anime was split up by drawing a very arbitrary line down the middle, so I've decided to divide up Death Note: Equestria into three distinct, self-contained seasons. Episode twelve is where everything introduced so far comes to a head, tying up some loose ends and leading us into the second act. The ultimate end won't be for a long while yet.

I feel like I've been waiting all season to write part 12, so I'm pretty excited about it. Any guesses as to what the title will be?

I felt so giddy when I saw this update!

>>5679656796

I always dont get how u came up with the titles of every chapter...

Now i wonder who is Near in this Fic...

Why do I have the feeling that Diamond Edge(Rarity) will discover Kira's true identity, she will confront her and die there befroe she tell anypony elise....

I agree with Tonto. Having Twilight being discovered would be a very interesting event in which Twilight will be forced to do drastic things!

now that Diamod Edge(Rarity) is dead and Pinkie Pie is too as a "causality" of the confict, the elements of harmony are short of two elements now, if this is betewen season 1 and 2....Equestria is now royally BUCKED!, but if this is in season 2, I do wonder how this would affect "The misterious Mare-Do-Well" episode or if that woud ever happend in this story, the most probably thing is that it  never happend with all the things that are happening thanks to Kira, this is getting better and better, Hope to see the next chapter soon

O_O... You killed Pinkie Pie and Rarity? And Twilight was responsible for both Deaths. Damn, I never expected this Fanfic could embody the Kira character in Twilight in such a believable fashion.

Really good story, I'm definitley looking forward to the next addition/chapter

DOUBLE KILL!!!

No seriously, imma bit grossed out...

>>Mafiadysio

Trust me their are fics that will gross out and traumatize you worse than this... like Cupcakes (shudders)

Amazing! I am astounded by this brilliant fic!!! The way you incorporated Death Note in mlp was flawless and went with the story very well while keeping readers within the mlp universe.

A truly epic fic.

HAVE MUFFINS!!!!!

Do I really need to repeat myself and tell you how awesome this is? I do? Ok, then, This is freaking amazing, it is always such a joy to read and re-read this. Every time I see an update you bring a smile to my face. Will this do? Ok.

Like a said before TwiLight is best Kira even better than Light yagami. She is manipulative, she is cold, heartless, always two steps ahead and even killed 2 of her best friends in order to fullfil her plans, now that´s hardcore.

(spoilers)

I also loved the conflictive emotions of Twi, first sad because of the death of Rarity( Daimond edge) and pinkie, later she revels she planned their death, leading to believe that the sad part is just an act to cover her flank and to get closer to L, but then she says "I want to die" because of what she did showing real emotion and regret and the cold and heartless act is a cover for that, and finally she disregards her humanity? equinenity? beliving that the end justify the means regaining her kira persona again.  Wow talk about rollercoasters.

I also loved that even though she feels regret over her acts, at first she didn't assume all the blame, “Two of my best friends are dead now, indirectly because of Kira." Twilight, you are Kira, you planned their deaths in a gamble knowing that chaces will dictate that will happen at the same time, to make yourself look good, there is nothing of indirect in there. Or she just explained the events in the point of view of L to better explan her plan that works too.

OK.  Twilight is now a complete monster.  Seriously?  You made me hate Twilight (at least in this fic).  No way around it, she will not be alive in the end, I presume.  I hope.

...

What Meta Knight said. I'm speechless...

My goodness how your ability has improved over the course of writing this! I'm literally at the edge of my seat when I read these! Also, the way you write Twilight really reminds me of Macbeth and how Shakespeare analyses the human psyche. Perhaps Twilight Sparkle will be a tragic hero? These chapters are really tearing at my heart strings, I imagined my favourite pony Rarity would die and prepared myself for it but Pinkie Pie too? You are a terrific writer keep on doing what you do!

>>3136231362

*searching desperately for the thumbs up/like button.*

You know. Having watched the original Anime I used to be a Kira supporter. Having read this and seeing just how alike Light Yagami and Twilight Sparkle are and just how far Twilight is willing to go to pursue her "Justice" I find myself changing who I'm "Rooting for". I think what nailed it for me was this chapter and how Twilight was directly responsible for the deaths of two of her best friends. I suddenly find myself thinking because of your work of fiction that Kira from the original anime was far less of a noble but tragic personage than I originally believed. To this end I congratulate you on managing to change my stance on who was better than whom.

Well you certainly know how to write a good story and a good interlude .

Looking forward to Season 2

Although pinkie's death makes me sad, i give props on story and interlude.

Heres to even more trilling(in twisted way) season 2!

It was good to see how everypony was taking the recent events. A little disappointed to not see the Kira working and slight disappointed by lack of Death Note rule at start, but I don't think this chapter really needed it. Also, I had Scissor Sisters' I Can't Decide on another tab before I even saw this had updated xD

A good interlude?! wow haven't read one of those in a long time. Kudos to you.

I can't wait for season 2 if is anyting like the first one I'm sure it will not dissapoint.

There is something I been wanting to ask. Will there be a "Misa" character to Twilight's Kira? I think that the inclusion of misa in the original manga was what made Light start making wrong decitions, leading to his capture, although he "beats" L, he had to go through one of the most convoluded plans ever.But in the end it was Misa the first step that let to his failure. So right now TwiLight is in the upper position, so I was wondering if there will be a Misa that starts this chain of events?

For the first night in a long time, Twilight Sparkle slept soundly.

Dod gamn, that's messed up!

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

>>5593955939

I just realized the Twi-Light connection.

What a twist!

Swee...tie belle.

Intense, and heart breaking chapter with a nice twist, I didn't suspect that SHE was going to be TwiLight's Misa. Sir, I applaud you for an excellent job.

Fluttershy has a Death Note.

She killed Sweetie Belle.

...I have no words.

I was curious who you would choose for the second Kira.

... Fluttershy? And she kills Sweetie Belle? This Mer must be better at corrupting ponies than the Nightmare and Discord combined.

Fluttershy kills Sweetie Belle?

Woah

I don't usually use the word epic because I feel that is overused, but I don't have other words to express the greatness of this.

Oh wait, I got some: This Fic is glorious, heroic, illustrious, awe-inspiring.

I had a smile while reading the entire chapter, the little details is what makes this so enjoyable. Geldus been the personification of us, the fans, (I want to brush their manes too). And twilight and fluttershy's history with eachother make the whole scene have more emotional impact than the original.

Also TwiLight's portray is still top notch, a real marvel, and a whole lot enjoyable than the original. Her scenes with spike shows that she is our Twilight we know and love, but when she is Kira she is REALLY is Kira, I totally belive it. This contrast between "Twi" and "Light" is what makes this story real fun to read.

Although I not really sure that to think of the other plot about the Golems, right know it feels like your going to deviate from the manga (which is totally fine and I support it) but that will put off a lot of the readers and become some complicated filler. Unless the Golems chapters' are there to establish the parallel to the Yotsuba Corporation. Which would be great but I guess I'll have to wait and see that my fears are unfounded, beacuse this fic is been nothing but awesome since the start. Keep up the good work.

is it bad after reading that I want Discord to win in a curbstomp and grind Twilight's face into the ground for all eternity?  While flaying her alive?  with her own horn?

>>6887668876

You scared of cupcakes? I wasn't even phased by it. Try reading princess molestia, cupcakes, sweet apple massacre, rainbow factory and Parchment ONE AFTER THE OTHER.

Done it. Laughed at a few points about how some things were over the top but I wasn't phased.

I sound like a cold mofo, but I've dealt with worse.

>>298292298292 I wasn't scared. More like mentally Scarred by Cupcakes. You can never quite look at Pinkie in fiction the same way anymore. I do distinguish between the canon and fanon versions though.

Also I've read Rainbow Factory, and I think that was a whole other level of creepy. I also read Princess Molestia by Steak the fox. In all honesty, Molestia was probably the least creepy/scarring.

fantastic

Spoilers below (probably).

I pretty much know that Twilight will probably end up lossing if it goes like the Death Note series, so i was kinda hoping for either Twilight to win, or that it atleast dragged on so she doesnt losse like Light did in the series, because it really felt like the dirrectors of the series just wanted it to end and didnt consider much on Light's personality and his precautions. Therefor he was really stupid in the last episode.

I hope Twilight does much better.

Either way, love it.

>>298439298439 >>298292298292

Why, why, why do people constantly compare me to Cupcakes? Sure, I write violent horror sometimes, but I like to think my work has a little more sophistication than the pure gorefics.

Although, so long as we're discussing the ultra-grimdarks, I'd like to recommend Love . Sick. It's not nearly as explicit as some of the others, but it's one of the few stories that's actually managed to get a shudder out of me. Now that is how horror is done.

>>302372302372

I've considered this as well. While the ending of Death Note was fantastic, the time leading up to it felt rushed and not as well thought out as it could have been. There's no way my Twi is going down so easily.

>>302392302392 I wasn't comparing you to cupcakes. I simply stated that their were more traumatizing fics like Cupcakes. I think your story is awesome and way better than that silly gore-fic. Keep up the good work nonagon

>>302392302392

Awesome :D Smart Twilight = Best Twilight.

P.S: This is one of my favorite fanfics. I love it dearly and i am gratefull for you writing it, keep it up!

why is that once i started to read this i wanted to listen to chop suey?

getting a little self-righteous there eh twilight.

>>4511045110man, i really shouldn't have read these

I like how Byuk hints about the human world and perhaps his other watching of L and Kira.

Oh goodness. When Ray Painter died...that was horrific. At least Twilight had the decency to mention "painlessly"...During the actual Death Note I had sided with Light for a lot of things but Twilight's just a monster!

Oh goodness. Lyra as L and BonBon as Waka...I forget his name...and was that a small hint at Lyra x BonBon? Also I think Spike should be permanently scarred from seeing someone he sees as a mother clop...that'd be...

>>313839313839

This is an interesting trend I've noticed. A lot of the terrible acts that Light and Twilight commit are the same. Yet even though Twilight shows, if anything, a lot more remorse and justification for her actions, a number of people who previously sided with Light now find themselves rooting for L. Why is this? Does our relationship with canon Twilight make it easier to see how much power has changed her? Is the idea of murder so much more abhorrent when it's happening to cute ponies? Was Light so convincing in his unbreakable belief that he could do no wrong that we started to believe it too? It's a fascinating shift, and I look forward to studying it more in the future.

>>313990313990

Well I could shed some light on my thoughts. The plausible crossover characters would be Rarity=Naomi and Ray Painter=Raye Penbar. Now Naomi was not characterized that much in Death Note. She had a few lines every now and then, but other than that she was more of a fallen tree in a forest. Rarity on the other hand is a main character in the actual show, and I have already made a connection with her. When Raye died in Death Note, I didn't take it as much because I didn't care for Naomi. I willed for her to die so Light would win because she was a small hurdle in the larger race. When Ray Painter dies, I cry. Rarity's sadness was easily characterized as I already care for the character of Rarity.

At least that's what I think. Also: I do find myself siding with L more during this for some reason, even though Twilight is my favorite second pony. I do believe that it's partly because I have a hard time emphasizing with humans both in fictional worlds and in the real world. Ponies are much easier to feel empathy for (I'm sure there's some sort of psychological problem with that but whatever) so I feel much worse when innocent ponies are dying than when innocent people are dying.

...

I don't even know what to say. I obviously cried when Pinkie died, and felt sad when Diamond Edge died. But so see that Twilight was directly responsible...it...I...

Twilight better die by the end of this.

Hey, just wanted to say that I love this fic, it's one of the best I've seen around. Very great work!

I know you're following Death Note's story, but I wouldn't like if you really kill "L" or Twi just like in the show, just my opinion though! I hope to see more of your work!

I almost wish my character was there, knowing, giving his own thoughts and accidentally helping.

This is a great story so far. I like how its stayed true to the story of Death Note and Twilight is an awesome character for Kira. The writing is well done and  executed well. I just wish you weren't following the movie. It makes less sense especially when you try to make the pony characters as characters in the movie. I loved Rarity and Naomi, along with Twilight as Kira, but I was hoping for Pinkie or a main character of some sort to be L, not Lyra. I'm a little biased though because I don't like our fanon version of background ponies too much

I'm a huge Fluttershy fan so I won't go into how much this chapter hurt me to read but the way you've written it she does seem like a good Misa. I just wish she didn't kill Sweetie! She would NEVER do that!

Oh well. Great story so far anyway, can't wait to read more. It would be awesome if you could continue the manga version when the movie ends too.

You have me hooked, good sir. It certainly helps that Death Note is my second favourite anime, but you wrote everything very well. Time for chapter the second!

A great chapter. I'm wondering: how hard is it to write something when you know that you have to more-or-less follow the story as it has already been laid out?  Does it make it easier or harder to write?

>>318288318288

It's about the same. Having an existing timeline to work off of provides an advantage at the start, but at the same time you've got to compensate for setting it in a completely different universe with different rules and a different cast of characters. Just finding enough ponies to fill all the roles is a challenge. Plus, especially with a series like Death Note, you have to be very careful with your buildup, because a slight change early on can completely derail an established plot in the late game. (Of course, I intend for this to happen anyway.) In some ways, I'd say reconstructing the plot and getting it to still work is just as challenging as making it up in the first place.

This is very well captured dear sir. I am a huge fan of Death Note and you have it nailed. I will both track and fav this, and read on. I hope you have the L from the show, cause then I would love you forever. And what's better is I listened to the music from the show as I read which made it 100 times more awesome. Congratulations, you have won the game. *Evil Light laugh*

That was great, and know that L's in play the plot should thicken!

The story is heating up! This was one of the best parts in the original story. I hope L is like the L from the show and does all the cool stuff he does.

DID FLUTTERSHY KILLED SWEETIE BELLE?!

You, my good sir, have out done youself once more

And in that momment Fluttershy has just become something borederline to be a mindless drone or faithfull pet to Twilight....Proceed

>>312388312388

Yeah I saw that. That was cool.

After having read every chapter available, I had a rather strong reaction to this story. Strong enough to inspire me to transcribe my thoughts and opinions. However, they were far too long for this comment box, or even FiMFiction to handle properly. So I present them to you here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M7uBIAMBj6jf7frMU4btF2LCFWGJws4mITTKSZ2NdZo/edit?pli=1

Do keep up the interesting work, I look forward to the future~

lol i keep thinking you emaail addres is part off the .letter befor i see @

youv turned my favrite pony evil i cant tell if i agree or disagree so heres what i do when this happens

wait so twilight did that knowing she was being watched by l and possibly spike LIES I SAY

i just realized ive never watched a season so i have no clue what connections anyones talking about

do  not faulter dangit you cant start hateing twilight even if she has become corrupted

you killed pinkypie did i mention I HATE YOUR GUTS

great story though

ok icant read you killed a kid that just to far for my taste so ya bye

so i have to ask (i dont dare read the other comments because of spoilers), i get the feeling that this follow the original DN story-line in some way? im mean more than the same setting and similar character ofc)  please tell me im wrong

>>408560408560

Yes and no. It follows many of the same elements of the original but will slowly drift further and further away, especially in the third season.

Yes yes yes yes yes yes!

I've been waiting for this for ages!