In the magical land of Equestria, the night has lasted for a thousand years. But now, with the anniversary of Queen Luna's victory over her rebellious sister approaching, the Queen's most faithful student learns about a disturbing old prophecy. Can she, along with a hastily gathered group of allies, save the Land of Eternal Night from the dawn that Hellion Queen is trying to bring?
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This is an alternate-universe - or, to be absolutely precise, a reverse-universe fan-fic for MLP:FiM.
The cover image is a bit of fan art from DotRook over on dA: Dark Equestria: Rarity
Second (and final) chapter will be coming soon, once I polish it a bit.
Chapters (2)
sorry but...i never liked alternate universes so...sorry
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You have my attention. Will read.
Darkness good and light bad? That's an interesting twist. Elements of... harmony thrown into the mix. Now I'm just curious. I'd like to see some continuation.
Hellion Queen will smite the evil queen and her armies!
This could've very easily have been a cookie-cutter of the first episode with reversed details, and thankfully it was much more than that. My finger were poised over the keyboard to complain about Sweet Apple Acres growing ANYTHING without the aide of the sun, but you had that covered, so props for that. Each of the mane six seem perfectly suited to their new alternate roles, especially Sister Fluttershy. That was just precious to see.
I am interested to see what you will do with Corona Blaze, or whatever you've chosen to call her in your story. Will she be every bit as much of a villain as Nightmare Moon was? Hmm. With such reversed details as you have to work with, there's much to consider. Muted colors for everything, considering that the sun is not there to create firm colors, since by their very nature colors come from broken LIGHT, and moonlight is a poor substitute. Not to mention the wicked sunburns that will no doubt occur in the coming daytime. Everypony would be pale as ghosts, at least at first.
There's a lot to think about! Just be sure to spin your yarns carefully. It would be very easy for a story like this to slip into mediocracy and disinterest. However, the slightly harsher demeanor of every cast member you covered makes things more interesting (some more than others, since Fluttershy and the Apples seem somewhat untouched). Your attention to detail must be ironclad for a story like this, so I wish you much luck for when you continue to write it. I'll be watching.
Cheers!
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"Darkness good, light bad" is the official line, yes. And most of Luna's subjects, even Earth ponies, buy it. (The part about Luna being the universally beloved ruler of peaceful and harmonious Equestria... not even Moonlight thinks that, and she's the Queen's personally picked, obedient and faithful apprentice!)
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You shall see!
Mmmmmaybe?
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"This could've very easily have been a cookie-cutter of the first episode with reversed details, and thankfully it was much more than that."
Well, this is, as you must have noticed already, a retelling of the pilot episode(s). But I've tried to make this an actual alternate world, and not just a palette swap. The ponies we're following are pretty familiar but they are not the Mane Six; their Equestria is a much darker place (even before you take the near-eternal night into account) than the one in the show; and their quest won't be exactly the same as we saw.
Hopefully Celestia will be able to convince Moonlight and the Mane 6 to help kick Luna's butt now and restore the true way.
I never liked Celestia
i hope she gets a good kick from the main 6
complete?! UNACCEPTABLE!
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Complete in the sense that, barring a bit of rewriting, I have the rest of the story ready. This is not the end!
This is good.
I remember reading this one somewhere else... nevermind, it's a delicious story. I like how this world isn't a complete hellhole (it isn't Earth 2, to speak comicbookese) yet you haven't gone the equally easy way of making the Night Queen be innocent and in her full right - the small hints of the underlying craptasticness of the world, mentioned in passing, work very well.
It IS marked as complete, but is obviously not finished... so... :)
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Thank you! You may have read this on my dA. I've been trying to give the second part an once-over (there are a few things about it which I feel should be fixed for its appearance here) but I keep getting sidetracked.
I remember someone describing this as Gothic Equestria, and that actually fits pretty well.
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Rarity with Derpy as her servant felt very much like an equine version of the villainess of some sword & sorcery story of the "spicy" kind and her hunchbacked assistant, or something.
I like the descriptions of Gothic Equestria, the whole story has a florid almost decadent amount of discription hich fits really well.
Right! First off, I want to apologize to everyone who's been waiting for this to be concluded. Second, those who have read this on my dA gallery will notice that the ending's changed a bit. It was slightly too pat earlier, the result of my hurrying to finish this.
I hope this has been worth the wait, and wish that you enjoy reading this story.
I love this so far. I always love the concept of reversing light and day.
I really enjoyed this - just like the first time I read it!
The ending is not what you expected, and I like that the story is not just a mirror-image of the Season 1 intro. But I think I've told you that already!
I like it!
What a twist ending. Awesome work with your mirror world.
You Get 5 out of 5 Spike Mustaches
Definitely an original ending there.
Equinox... I like it. Kinda makes sense, in a weird way. Good, but weird.
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Well, she is equal parts of Day and Night. Glad you liked it!
I think I prefer this to the Lunaverse stuff. It's much more nuanced. And the names... oh the names. :D
Are you planning on doing more with the concept?
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Well, this Equestria is quite a different place from Lunaverse. In that verse, the good sister won; she just happened to be Luna instead of Celestia, as in the show. Here, the wicked one won, and the world's a lot darker for it, literally and figuratively.
(It would be interesting to see how Moonlight, Trixie from Lunaverse, and Twilight from the show would react to one another!)
And I'd really like to revisit this, but I haven't come up with a good idea how to do it. Perhaps I should go for small vignettes and brief, self-contained stories first...
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Would you be open to other writers having a go?
Great story!
Well done!
I find myself constantly making connections from this "Dark Equestria" to the Empire from Star Wars. It's kind of like a feudal, Fascist and authoritarian state with Luna at the head and honestly I find it so goddamn amazingly wonderful.
Also, the queen's introduction music? The Imperial March.
Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this darker mirror image of MLP; as your attention to detail is superb, everything you included or changed made sense and didn't seem out of place, but overall, it was a change of pace.
All hail Queen Luna!
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/235/168/dc0.jpg
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Thanks! You know, the comparison to the Empire in SW has never occurred to me, but it makes sense. The Imperial March would be particularly fitting!
And that pic is awesome in so many ways.
I haven't forgotten this story... SO, YOU ALMOST DONE WITH THAT CONCLUSION? I've held off reading the second chapter for over a year now, i'm thinkin' that i'm done waiting.
What a twiiiist! Now that just leaves the ending or whatever that's taking forever to get here.
Nicely writen, I enjoyed how you changed some aspects of the story, It made it feel original, I even liked the twist even though I cannot bear the idea of Queen Luna being gone, but that final speech by Moonlight was awesome, I loved how she and the rest of the Mane 6 were only going to work with Equinox for the sake of Equestria, since they were loyal only to Luna, so all in all, great story.
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Thank you! I'm especially pleased that the ending worked for you.
I've always loved this story.
Well, not all of it... the ending struck me as odd, as did Equinox's conceit that she was in any position to forgive anything. Half of her is the entire reason Equestria's ponies were forced to become what they are now, yet nary a peep about her faults. Is she's to assume rulership by virtue of being the princesses combined, then responsibility for what happened before should also fall on her.