Didn't figure out she was visiting her sisters until she walked in. Thought she was getting a check-up. The psychological department... well I just thought she had psychological issues.

All I can say is that... there is this researcher in town. Skillful with mind-spells... does a lot of harm with them actually, but there was that time she saved the world with some memory spells. If she is through (and she KNOWS through) she might actually crack this thing enough to allow Dinky to be functional, if still impaired.

Is this based partially on any real-world conditions?

wait...is this a fanfiction where derpy...DIES!!!??? *CHOIR SINGING* THANK CELESTIA!!!! I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO KILLS HER!!!! (one look at my username will show how i feel about this)

-HURP DURP

YOU DARE BRING DERP TO MY LAIR!!???? YOU MUST DIE!!!! *kills*

*MISSION ACCOMPLISHED*

>>299604299604

any resemblance is purely coincidental

Hmmm

I may use this.

Otherwise, it is a sappy little story that I tend to enjoy for some inexplicable reason. Well done :3

I fuckin hate you for making me cry like this

lol, im jk

great writing, I wanna see more, u should try and continue

This should have far more views and comments.

I came close to tearing up, and that's something I just don't do.

oh shit, havent read but looking at pic i can tell imma cry for ever...

get my comedy folder open in advance...

oh, and if it dont get continued, imma be hella depressed...

plzzz? Puppy Please?

>>300152300152

it is a one shot only

durn. hmm, well then.

i will still read. someday.

Good day.

No words, just tears of sadness.

That was a pretty deep, and emotional story. I feel so sad for Derpy . Great story though.

So, so sad.  

B'aww. Sad. Sweet too. A very interesting take on Screwball and Screwloose. The implications for Dinky are sad too.

Does that mean, to fit the pattern, that Derpy's full name is Screwderp? A mispronunciation of "screwed up"? Awww.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that was mean and well written good story

This was well done.  

And rather emotionally draining.  

You know what...that was just plain depressing.

Sad for Derpy.... but not really cuz that will never happen, besides, being Screwloose doesn't suck.

DA-HAHAHA!!! I didn't cry, weep, or frown the whole time. I GRINNED THROUGH THE WHOLE GODDAMN THING!!!! I also 'd when i was done. (I don't like Derpy. Seeing HER in pain gives ME joy.)

Good work, I enjoyed reading this. You are a really good author, please continue to write more!

>>308592308592

Don't like Derpy, fine. But do you really have to laugh at a condition that is probably occurring in the real world? I've seen haters before, but those that enjoy the thought of others in pain are sick in the head. Please, for the sake of humanity, don't breed.

This was well done and a nice take on how families deal with mental illness, especially hereditary ones

Very intriguing. Not a fan of sad Derpy stories but this was definitely worth the read.

And by the way, thats a wicked cool picture at the end

Woah, that almost got me tearing up, nice job.

Sad, but very good story, that picture at the end gave me chills when I saw it but the good kind (if that makes any sense).

>>505033505033>>548919548919

Thanks for feeding the trolls.

This story was sad on a whole new level.  Anyone who can't experience that emotion is not worth talking to.

>>299625299625

have you read it?

derpy does not die. it is.. infinitely worse.

Great story. I never full out cried, but i felt my eyes moisten a lot. Im just heartless like that :<

>>549060549060

A troll yes, and also apparently not the stablest of ponies; definitely best to leave him be.

I didn't think I would actually read this, but since I did, I guess I'll comment. I have to say, making those two Derpy's sisters is an interesting idea, and the idea of a hereditary mental illness that proceeds in stages like that... Although that precise ailment isn't perfectly mirrored by any in our world, it definitely strikes a chord for its similarities to more familiar forms of dementia. And to think that in Screwloose's case, mental illness is actually canon...

Overall, I found it reasonably believable, very much so, and that's what makes it all the more heartbreaking. Well done.

This just pulls at the heartstrings. Honestly, this is one of the few things that have made me even think of crying. It took a little bit to sink in, but the fact that Derpy might....

wow this story is just so emotional to bad thats how it ends i really wish derpy could be cured

You actually made me shred a tear for this story. I have never....done that in ages.

I even know where this was headed and yet I still shred that tear.

Everything just looks bleak for Derpy and her daughter and the saddest thing is...

...nothing would change that and the cycle continues. That is where it struck a cord.

Why is it that everytime I read a fanfiction it always makes me tear up

Why man why u gotta give me a feel why

Well.....This is actually the only fanfic to make me have a tear go down my cheek considering how I'm about to go to dream land due to my lack of sleep.....

This was great!

....

T.T

I honestly really liked this story. I walked into it thinking that the whole Derpy's backstory thing is done too often, but I must say I was impressed. Well done!

Is there an emotion called hatelove? I'm pretty sure there is. I hatelove you, dear sir/ma'am.

Oh... I feel like writing some depressing story like this now... But i still liked this.

Beautiful writing, though the ending kinda leaves you hanging. Also, although I don't personally find it insulting, you basically said anyone with an astigmatism is crazy. I have an astigmatism. Just in case you get any hate there. Otherwise, great job.

Your story was bad and you should feel bad...

But it was so very, very good...

It was well written and had a clinical feel that really worked for the story.

I give it /5 moustaches

This story is the cry-sauce.

>>552657552657

ambivalence?

i wish fics made me cry more, you guys deserve these tears, but only my little dashie has made me cry so far... anyone got any sad fics for me to cry at?

>>549128549128 Hey I'm not sure what your referring to in your post, but whatever it is you have no right to hate on other peoples hard work. Projecting your problems on others is wrong. If you were being harrassed then you should report the person's profile and block them. Stop taking trolling personally. It's the Internet, get used to it.

As for the story, nice work. I didn't get what the question dinky was about was, but that's most likely just me being stupid.

A continuation would be nice, but if you leave it at that, I understand.  It has more impact.

Well done.

I took me a while to gather the courage to read this. I just knew by the cover image it was going to make me cry.

I didn't think I could love Derpy more than I did, but I do now.

This is definately going to my favorites.

>>549191549191  Yes, Derpy's family best mirrors forms of dementia.  The mother of a person my family knows has progressively severe dementia and recently had to be committed due to a violent outburst.  There are inherited forms of it, and (as this form clearly must be to be present in every female member of the family) X-linked dominant.  

Now, Dinky should have a 50% of not inheriting it, as only one of Derpy's X chromosomes will carry the mutation while the other will be normal.  Though, since she and all her sisters inherited it, there was either some extreme bad luck or the condition has some sort of magic associated with it that heavily favors the passage of the mutant-carrying chromosome.  

It could be a form of frontotemporal dementia (FTD), which has an etiology involving abnormal tau protein (which also is involved in Alzheimer's plaques in association with beta-amyloid(42) peptides.  Of FTD, medicinenet says, "Because structures found in the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain control judgment and social behavior, people with FTD often have problems maintaining normal interactions and following social conventions. They may steal or exhibit impolite and socially inappropriate behavior, and they may neglect their normal responsibilities. Other common symptoms include loss of speech and language, compulsive or repetitive behavior, increased appetite, and motor problems such as stiffness and balance problems. Memory loss also may occur, although it typically appears late in the disease."  FTD subtypes include Pick's Disease, Primary Progressive Aphasia, and Frontotemporal Dementia with Parkinsonism linked to Chromosome 17 (FTDP-17), which includes psychiatric symptoms such as delusions and hallucinations.

There's X-linked ataxia/dementia syndrome which has some features which fit, several types of X-linked mental retardation (though these maifest very early in life and so don't really fit the clinical presentation of Derpy's family), X-linked ALS/dementia caused by a mutation in the UBQLN2 gene.

Why it only affects mares is odd.  Were it a taditional X-linked mutation, I would expect it to affect stallions in the family as well, at a very high rate, as males only carry a single X, which they must receive from the mother.  If it were autosomal, it would affect each gender equally.  It is possible the mutation has something to do with neuroendocrine disruption via the estrogen pathway, and the conditions surrounding aging and eventual menopause exacerabte the physiological abnormality.  

There are numerous reports of perimenopausal psychosis, requiring medication and sometimes hospitalization.  But these appear primarily sporadic with no clear genetic link.  Still, it's always possible the ponies work a little differently and they do indeed have a true inherited form of this disorder.

*watches everybrony's brain aspolde as they read this*  Eeeeeexxxxxcellent!   *evil Mr. Burns smile*

I held it all the way through the fic. Whew, almost let ou-

*sees the picture*

DAMNIT!!!

>>563899563899

I keep trying to read your comment, but I always shut down around beta-amyloid(42) peptides...

>>564741564741  Ah!  My first victim!  *invades your confuzzled mind and fills it with chaos!*  Now, rise and join the Army of Chaos for the glory of Discord!  >:D

>>564817564817 Must fight it... can't betray Princess Luna...

((Also, while I'm back here, I must say that ponies clearly need to put more research into effective treatment methods for these ailments...))

Bugger I feel out of place now... Insanity to quell the rage and bind it up in chains.

Wait a minute... Screw Loose and Barking Mad being Derpy's sisters? Talk about shattering the fanon...

I have to admit, though, that this story was as beautiful as it was sad. It truly deserved being featured on EqD. Congratulations.

One note, if I may, though. I may not be a writer of your caliber, but the first person here seemed slightly odd. I understand why you wrote it that way, but I couldn't shake the feeling that you wanted to write in third person and forced yourself into the first one. It was probably because of many scenery descriptions, which one would not expect from a first point of view (especially at the beginning of the story). But, as I already mentioned, I cannot even begin to compare your writing with my own pathetic attempts, so please do not be discouraged by my ranting.

Regardless of the person, this story truly deserves a thumb up.

>>568075568075

I actually prefer writing in first person, but it was necessary to give setting descriptions

>>564741564741  Resistance is rutile.  

(What, you expected a statement from an agent of chaos to make sense?)  

While I encourage authors to leave some aspects of a story up to the reader's individual imagination, I think you left a little too much to the imagination here.  Frankly, Derpy's sisters didn't seem all that insane to me.  Certainly they were unstable emotionally, but not necessarily insane.  What happened to their mother that still hits them so hard?  I got the impression it was a suicide, but I hate making that call without some additional info from the narrative.

Overall, though, a very well-written story.  Thumbs-up.  

Poor Derpy...  

In running the askscrewloose I find myself lost for words for this story. It is ver VERY powerful, and very similar to real hereditary mental illnesses. Although i have made my own headcannon for Screwy, can I utilize aspect of your story and eventually incorporate them in my tumblr?

>>589945589945

doesn't matter to me

Beautiful.

Sorry to say...but I'm one of those 5 thumbs down.

It is clear that you are a good writer.  There is no question to that.

However...I just feel like this story...well, for lack of a better term, it has no point.

It just dumps a sad story on our heads, then before we can figure out what hit us, it's over.  There's no redemption, there's no possible hope for happiness, there's no anything that gives this a semblance of a story...to me, it's just tearjerking for the sake of tearjerking.

I apologize for being so blunt, but as I said, I do feel you are a good writer.  I just think that with this story, you dropped the ball in terms of telling a story, instead just saying "Well, this situation is miserable and depressing.  Good night everybody!"

Anyway, that's just my two cents.  Sorry if it upsets you, but I feel that telling the truth about a story (Even if it's not exactly positive feedback) is better than lying and saying I enjoyed something that I didn't.

>>594077594077

yeah sorry mate too much realism, doesn't work for everypony

and thanks anyway

I liked the realism of this story. Sometimes things in life are messed up and there is no way out. Sometimes terrible things happen and there is no making it better, rewinding the tape, or doing it over. Things remain bad FOREVER. That's real life. I think that's why this story was so good. It was very realistic. It might help people who are going through similar unfixable situations to find some level of peace in knowing that's just how life is sometimes. On the other hand life also has its joys, and this too is portrayed in the fiction. Derpy knows that things won't end well, but she also has the blessings of a wonderful friendship with Carrot, and to be able to spend what time she can with her beloved daughter. Perhaps the moral of this story could be "Life is fleeting".

Wow, this fic hit me because of real life experiences I have had with this. It was not with family, but one my good friends had a mental disorder and had to be taken away because they eventually were deemed 'unsafe for society' or something of that sort. They aren't with us anymore (they passed away almost 3 years ago), but It really hurts.

This fic hit home with me and I shed a few tears after reading it. Fantastically written and keep up the good work...

I need to find a good comedy to cheer me back up...

Well written. Well done. Manly tears were shed.

That was so sweet and so sad...

.....Parkinson's, along with sever Alzheimer's, runs in my family on both sides, and I can still remember what it was like as a child watching my older family members deteriorate. When I asked my parents why this grandparent or that great uncle was in the hospital and couldn't recognize me, open a gift, or get up to hug me, they would clam up and wave it off.

It wasn't until I was in Middle school, nearly six years after I first asked the question, that I found out, and that revelation was tied to it being genetically inheritable. Punet squares don't lie, and I have a very good chance of being non functional by age 60.

If I ever have children, I plan on doing something like this, as well as talking to he/she/them about it. The only thing worse than scaring a child is leaving them confused and unprepared.

As for the story, very well written. Frankly I love the tone of it, and the more somber nature of the story alongside the bits of light hearted interaction make it feel.... good to read. Not happy, not sad, but right. Bravo, have a thumbs up.

When Derpy escaped from the hospital and collapsed in the grass I started to listen to this song:

And it finished right when I got to Dinky's drawing. It was... so magic and so heartbreaking

*sigh* This has put me into a depressing mood

Conceptually I enjoyed this very much.  Not really so keen on making Screwloose & Screwball into Derpy's siblings (they just don't look the part to my eyes), but otherwise I found this a very touching, if melancholy fic.

I do, however, very much wish it had gone on just a bit longer, instead of waving off Dinky's inquiry about how this revelation affects her.