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The Alicorn we all know and love; Twilight Sparkle is the result of a wish made a thousand years ago. Her birth was really what brought about Nightmare Moon. How will Twilight react when she finds out who her real mother is.
Prologue heavily inspired by the song Hijo de la Luna.
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8/19/2014
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very interesting
More
also
Even though I'm your roommate and I know when you'll be posting again (hint to everyone: I really don't know), I'm excited to see where this story goes
K. So I iz confused.
3498993
Maybe that is what I want?
3499800. What. My mind iz exploded.
*applause*
Well, that escalated quickly.
shouldn't Twilight have been more over the top in her reactions?
but you had her handling this MUCH batter than in some stories
3516275
I don't know if I should take that as a compliment?
3516857
Um? Is that a compliment or an observation?
3517003more of a compliment but still at the same time BOTH
3517003
I think you did not insisted enough on Twilight's reaction: she jumps literally from a middle shock to blind anger! It's difficult for me to understand why she's so angry ( I mean, why do she immediately think that her entire life is a lie? Wouldn't she just push Luna's words appart, comforted as she is by her memories of her life with her family? ) because the scene is rushed and lack an important thing: the character's thoughts.
Let me explain. Here is the usual scheme of someone reacting to a improbable information (John just learned that his mother is not her biological parent):
"You're not my son"
1.Shock (1-5min of nothing, as a writer you would like to describe John's physical reactions to highlight the unlikelihood of the information)
2.Analyse (John process what he just heard and question himself: How is that possible? Why didn't she say it sooner? Who is my real mother? Is she dead? Is she abandoned me?)
3.Questions (John asks his questions to his mother, he wants answers. Once he got them, he deducts how he's going to take the information. This part depends of a lot of things: John's personnality, how he views his mother (badly or like a son), his life with her, how it's going to affect his life...)
4.Reaction (Bad: John don't wants to talk to his mother anymore and runs away in an attempt to discover his new identity along with traveling across the country. Good: John hugs his mother and conforts her, telling her that she will always be his mommy and that their relationship will never change. Together, they face the verity of John's true parent.)
The part 4 is cliché and stereotypical.
See? The revelation is THE most important part of the story and yours is too rushed, that's why I have this feeling of missing something in Twilight's behaviour. You certainly respected the scheme, but you didn't dig deep enough! Of course, since she teleported away from Luna, that's mean that she will have some times alone to think about the information (part2!), and bring us back to part 3!
Know that I added your story to my favourites, and that I don't regret it. Good luck.
3532479
Thank you the information was invaluable! Of course I was planning on using her time alone to actually get proper thinking done.
To answer your question on why she thinks it is a lie is simple. She thinks she was born a unicorn but Luna comes and tells her she was actually born an alicorn (the change will be explained later)
After all I would think my life was a lie if my mother (imagine she is some alien in this example) came and said. Sugar, your not human in fact. Your a hutt and the reason I look human is because of some awesome technology. Does that make any sense at all?
Your opinion is still highly appreciated though ^_^ I'm sure I'll be using it soon.
3532846
I think I got your point, but the lie thing still bother me: what she is really, does it affects her life (I mean by that all she goes through since her birth to now) to the point of considering it a lie? She's still Twilight, she still passed her exam in Celestia's school, and this word "lie" imply a double verity about her existence And that this false verity which is her life, is created and maintained by somepony,or someponies...how deep the revelation is going to affect her?
Maybe lie is a word too strong for this situation, but I'm sure it's just me being impatient because you certainly planned to answer to all of those questions in the next chapter.
(forgive me if there is gramatical mistakes, I'm still learning english)
3532937
Forgive your grammar? There is no need to apologize to me for your bad grammar. I speak english as a first language and most of grammar still leaves much to be desired, so that is all good.
I think I see where your coming from and I'll attempt to perhaps work on that and develop more of it in the next chapter. (I don't want to spoil anything. That would be bad)
It's okay to be impatient. I know what that is like, trust me. (Waiting for episode 3 of season 4 *cough* cough*)
Very nicely done. :3
Nice little story so far.
Cute and cuddly mother daughter bonding in the next chapter?
wow.. BEST THING I HAVE EVERY SEENED
wow I must say I was shocked at first but I liked it
I think it's a good story and a good chapter. while it has a sadnes to it, I do not believe it should ever get the sad tag because so far it has not become that sad
Very good chapter please update soon
Ever since the season 4 premier, I got the idea that the Tree of Harmony was Twilight's real mother.
3599737
I have to admit after the season 4 premiere I have had the vague similar idea. I may make a story with that instead, but I will not give up on this one. Hence alternate universe
Still hope you enjoyed ^^
I know that song but the engish versio
moon,you want to be mother but what will happen to you with a kid made of skin
That's part of it
3659227
lol yes. I can give you a full translation too if you wanted. Then again, its translation can be found on the internet if you really wanted it.
3834087
The universal language.
I really like what you did with twilight having an unknown liking to the moon
3964063
Thank you!
Say, are you planning to add a song to this story? If you are, then, I would suggest this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Icbmri0ArrY
I think it suits this story and Luna's oppinion on Twilight. Just think of Luna singing this!
4008659
Hmmmmm. Not really. I didn't plan on it. Sorry.
Plus, if I was to add a song I would rather attempt to make my own lyrics (or have my music composition major that shares a room with me make one.)
4015244 Oh. I see. Still, did you think that the song I suggested was a good one?
4015759
It was pretty. Unfortunately, my taste is more actiony with the occasional slow song (i.e Hijo de la Luna)
Still, whether or not I use a song. I hope you enjoy the story just as much!
Oh dear sweet god I hope you update this soon!!!
4018070 I see. And I agree with you. The song "Hijo de la Luna" is absolutely beautiful! I love it! And don't woryy. I'm positive I'll enjoy the rest of the story as well.
4019695
I hope to update soon.
ohy poor tia, NOT!!
not bad chapter, looking forward to more
Now you've gone and made the word guys seem awkward...
Yes a new chapter! You sir have made my day!
4136694
My apologies.
hehe ooh Luna
I love this story
Things seemed a little rushed and that stallion was a bastard for jumping to conclusions like that. Luna shoulda fried his ass
However, I like this. I will read on.
I can't wait for her reaction when she finds out.... No. Actually, now I'm worried. The reason luna became nightmare was because celestia wasn't Excepting twilight as Luna's daughter. Now I'm feeling sad
When twi was first talking, grabbing and stroking her tail and such, I just couldn't help imagining her with that face she'd worn in lesson zero when she said "clock. Is. Ticking!"