Image: http://img.informer.com/icons/png/32/3334/3334920.png

Image: http://img.informer.com/icons/png/32/3334/3334920.png

I'm back, baby! Revised chapters start now. Old ones are up on google docs, link in the description.

Not got much to say that I haven't already in the blogs, so this should about do it this time.

Oh, also. There's one major typo or something that I can't remember where it is, so if you see it or any others, lemme know.

Seems much crisper! Job well done so far!

well i loved the first iteration, so by all logical processes i should love this one. Lets get this party on the road.

I think I liked the original one better. There was a laugh or two in almost every chapter, and they were genuinely funny (sometimes a bit naughty). The serious parts stayed serious, and the picture, though obviously messed with, was still amusing as well.

This one chapter for THIS version of it feels like you gutted three chapters and stuffed the gist of it all in one.

Not saying it's bad, just that so far I don't think its as good. It'll prolly get better in the future. *Sits down to wait.*

>>643497643497 it'll feel like that to some who read the "demo" as I'm now calling it. This is, in fact, chapters 1 & 2 of the first. But not gutted. They are here in their entirety, all 2,877 words of 'em and then some. After I took out the author's notes, they were surprisingly thin. I've actually added to their size.

I'm trying to take a more serious, "What if Duke Nukem was in this situation" approach. Before, it was a lot more of "what would I like to do in this situation", and self inserts are pretty well frowned upon by many. There will be lols, yes. But they'll be natural instead of thrown around like so much confetti. If I try to do both serious elements and crackfic elements in one fic, it'll come out as unbalanced as the level of Duke Forever with all the alien infected babes. Wisecracks and a horrifyingly morbid atmosphere don't mix well with most people. Or vice versa.

And I worked hard on the new title pic! I thought it would represent a more serious but badass approach to the fic. That's my mag, my ammo, my shades, my buckle, and my Twi there. But of course, I was thinking about just adding "Reloaded" to the original one. I might still, if I get a demand for it. So that means... ANYONE READING THIS COMMENT. YES, YOU. TELL ME IF YOU LIKE THIS TITLE PIC, OR IF YOU WANT THE OLD ONE BACK. THANK YOU.

Thanks for stickin' round 'til now, and trust me. I'm not gonna gut anything. You're gonna get a full fic, or my name isn't Duke Nukem.

Image: http://i977.photobucket.com/albums/ae260/robbysheldon/dukeanukem.jpg

Time to ROCK!

Hmm...time to see where this is going. Again.

Loved the first on, love this one just as much.

That ending to the chapter, Priceless.

Duke in equestria, this shit is still great.

nukin' awesome.

>>643706643706

Alrighty!

And your picture does kind of make you look like you're related to him, at the very least.

>>643706643706

Damn, you look cool.

"So, what happens when a pegasus and a unicorn do it? Or a unicorn and a normal pony? Ooh, what about if Celestia and a normal pony did it?"

Fluttershy fainted and Twilight Sparkle blushed furiously.

PRICELESS!

This needs moar.

"So, what happens when a pegasus and a unicorn do it? Or a unicorn and a normal pony? Ooh, what about if Celestia and a normal pony did it?"

Fluttershy fainted and Twilight Sparkle blushed furiously.

...................

Duke knew babes. She wasn't a babe, per se, but it was clear in the way she talked, moved, looked at him, and even the way she breathed. It was a wavelength that he was particularly tuned in to.

She is so into chicks.

PRICELESS!

This needs moar.

you spelled fluttershy as fulttershy at one point. Otherwise great chapter!

"He suddenly he remembered"

You might want to fix that. I noticed the intro was different. But I also saw that you kept a decent amount of the original source. And yes, I'm finally getting around to reading this version of it.

Nopony steals our mares!

And lives!

I'm still fixing your grammar, even after you scrap this! Here's what I found:

spit in half

Split, not spit.

eyes once

Either add an "and" or a comma.

an D

You missed a "d" in there.

===========

I typed these as I read, just so you know.

And I lost my last Dubble Bubble in a rigged game of poker.

Good take on the last part of the line. I like that.

As for a blog post, I don't think one ever showed up in my notifications.

Did you by chance read Dresden Fillies: False Masks? Because that ring you described reminds me of one used in that story.

I like your teleport antics. The sound effect, and the post teleport.

The way you left it actually makes a pretty good ending for a chapter.

>>19760371976037 Thanks, man. At least I'm consistent with typos and the like And for the ring, I didn't really pull the idea from anywhere specifically. I think I had read something like that in a few other fics, and I needed a worn device to restrict magic use. That was the most effective I could imagine. Not particularly imaginative, but does the job. I keep hearing that no one got a blog notification, so I'm starting to think that I misclicked the clicky-buttons when posting it. I'll repost it, this time with more care. As for the ending; that was intended to be the end of the chapter. I was going to add more content to the middle to lengthen the chapter considerably, or possibly make that ending the end of the chapter beyond, depending on how much I would have written. Now, though, it is to be left as is. Let it rest in pieces, so to speak. Now, on to the next iteration, currently at 1,250 words

Actually, the blog post part is because notifications for story blogs are disabled.

well, at least it was good to know twilight got rescued.