Date Fifty-Two - Takes A Licking...
Cheerilee scooched further left on the sofa, but the dog followed. Frowning, she lifted her right foreleg out of reach.
The dog tilted its head to the side before issuing a series of questioning whines. Inching closer, he stared at Cheerilee with wide, pleading eyes.
“Um…” Cheerilee said.
The dog sprang forward. Unable to reach her hoof, he settled for licking her side.
Cheerilee set her hoof against the dog’s head and pushed him away, but his tongue just set to work on her hoof again.
Ripple grinned across the coffee table. “Oh, don’t mind Fizzle. He’s just showing you that he likes you.” The heather-grey mare leaned over the table and scruffed her dog’s head. “Awen’t you? Awen’t you, Fizzle-Wizzle? Who’s showing Cheewilee some love?”
Fizzle’s tail thumped out a joyful rhythm on the sofa’s cushions. Taking full advantage of Cheerilee’s divided attention, he ducked his head under her hoof and edged past it to lick further up her leg.
“Wow! He’s really into you!” Ripple said with a laugh. She pushed the small tray that sat on the coffee table further toward Cheerilee. “Cookie?”
Cheerilee shuddered at the thought of eating anything right now. The dog’s tongue had already completely coated her right leg in pungent saliva from hoof to elbow. “Um, no thanks. I don’t mean to be a bother, but shouldn’t we get going?”
“Oh, silly me.” Ripple lightly tapped herself a few times on the forehead. “I forgot to tell you. The restaurant’s reservation list was full up. I thought we’d maybe just have a nice night here.”
Cheerilee scooped up one of the velveted throw cushions and set it between herself and the madly affectionate dog. “Okay, but could we—oof!” She coughed when the dog leapt over the pillow-wall she’d set up and slammed into her lap. Wiggling with unsuppressed happiness, he set both paws on her shoulders and attacked her cheeks.
“What a good boy!” Ripple clapped her hooves. “Oh, who’s making ponies feel welcome? That’s you! It’s you! Good boy!”
Craning her head as far away as she could manage, Cheerilee gently removed the dog from her lap and deposited him back onto the floor. Fizzle scrambled back and forth, searching for an opening, but Cheerilee kept her hind hoof squarely between them. “I-I think it might be best if we went out.”
Ripple’s grin slowly fell away. “But… but I’ve been cooking for hours. I made us some fresh bread, and I’ve got a ratatouille going.” She dropped her eyes into her lap, where her hooves were tightly pressed together. “I knew it. You’re not really into mares, are you? I was afraid you were just being nice at that social.”
“No, it’s not that,” Cheerilee said with an encouraging smile, “and your kitchen smells incredible, but—ahh!”
Sensing Cheerilee’s momentary distraction, Fizzle had snuck around the sofa’s corner, and now leapt over the arm and into Cheerilee’s lap once more. He leaned into her, pinning Cheerilee as best he could and set to work licking the entirety of her left foreleg.
Ripple covered her heart with her hooves. “Oh, sweet Celestia, protect our doggies, always. They always know how to make a sad pony feel better.”
Cheerilee was halfway through a heavy sigh when Fizzle snuck a lightning fast lick across her muzzle. The distinctive odor of drying dog saliva filled her nostrils. “No, it’s not that. I was really enjoying our conversation last week.” Frowning at the doe-eyed dog, Cheerilee pushed him off her lap. “I-I just feel like it’s just a little, um...distracting here.”
Ripple’s tilted her head slightly to the side and blinked several times. “Huh?”
“Look, you seem like a nice mare, and I’d like to get to know you better.” Cheerilee pressed down on Fizzle more firmly when he threatened to roll out from beneath her restraining hoof, half-burying him in the sofa’s plush cushions. “Maybe someplace, you know, with just the two of us?” She nodded her head toward at the dog a few times and hoped that the message was finally clear.
Ripple’s grin returned, and she let out a relieved sigh. “Oh, is that what this is all about? Don’t you worry one little bit! Fizzle won’t tell anypony your secrets, so talk away. He’s a good doggie. Awen’t you, Fizzie? Who’s the best doggie? Fizzie’s the bestest doggie-woggie!”
“No! I mean—” Cheerilee closed her eyes and counted silently to ten before continuing. “I think you’re cute, and you’re obviously a talented cook, but I’m completely coated in dog slobber! Could we, I don’t know, put Fizzle in the backyard for an hour or two and have a normal conversation?”
The color drained from Ripple’s face for a moment, then returned as an angry flush. “Put him outside? All by himself? What are you, some kind of animal hater? You want to put my poor little doggie outside in the cold?”
“Cold? It’s Aug—UGH!”
When Cheerilee lifted her hoof to point out the window, Fizzle seized his opportunity. Leaping into her lap again, his tongue snapped out with snake-like precision to lick the roof of Cheerilee’s open mouth. He let out a surprised squeak when Cheerilee hopped off the couch, gagging and sputtering. Now out of a lap, he paced the floor before her with eyes of liquid longing.
Ripple crossed her legs tightly across her chest, then tossed her head with a judgmental sniff. “See? He loves you, and you want to put him outside! I should have listened to Fluttershy when she told me that she didn’t think you liked animals! I said that you seemed way too nice for that, but that’s what I g-get for being s-so open and h-hopeful.” Ripple dabbed at her eye with one of the lacy napkins that sat beside the cookies. “I’ll have you know that I s-stood in line for three hours to g-get one of Princess Luna's new d-dating permits, and th-this is what I get for it!”
“Fluttershy said— Why that— I like animals just fine when they aren’t licking my skin off or nearly crushing my friend to—!” Cheerilee snapped her jaw closed and dropped her gaze for a moment before sighing. “Ripple, can we—”
Fizzle backed away a few stepped, then sprang forward again, but encounters with vicious ducks and love-crazed robots had honed Cheerilee’s twitch reflexes to a fine edge. Snatching up a pillow, she deflected the desperate dog away. Ripple’s breath was momentarily knocked out of her when Fizzle crashed into her lap.
“Out.” Ripple growled, pointing to the door.
“Ripple—”
“Out!”
“Can we please talk about this?”
Ripple locked eyes with Cheerilee and held the dog up between them. “You kiss his nose, and you apologize.” Her eyes narrowed. “Like you mean it. Or was Fluttershy right about you?”
Cheerilee stared at the long line of wiggling, glistening drool that hung from Fizzle’s mouth. It swung, pendulum-like, refusing to break, even at its unlikely length. The dog’s madly wagging tail beat against Ripple’s face, but she gave no indication of noticing. Her burning eyes were locked onto Cheerilee.
“Well?” Ripple said, shaking the dog slightly and sending the line of drool swinging back and forth dangerously close to Cheerilee’s hooves.
Cheerilee opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch. “I hear those permits are good for a week. Maybe you should just cross me out and take Fizzle instead.” Stepping outside, Cheerilee turned to close the door, but caught Ripple’s slightly confused and somewhat hurt expression. “I can’t possibly compete with such a good doggie. I know when I’m licked.”
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Some ponies just can't say no to their pets.
*shudders*
XD
Know what you mean. I know lots of 'adorebal' animals. Our naighbors got a dog about a year ago, a black and white husky-like thing. It really loved children, and it would akways run up to me and my brother when we met it, and once it escaped from our neighbor and posted it self under a tree in which a few children where climbing. Then it started bark real loud. Those poor kids where so scared! XP
And not to forget, a family living further down the street from us got a cat named Liquor (I swear it's a better name is Swedish) who always follow people around, and it foll8w the kids in its family to and from school every day.
Dogs yuck
5540639 Thanks! It's been a fun project for me.
Dating permits? What is Cadence up to now?
This is Peta in a nutshell. There is a difference between treating your pet and nature with proper respect and love, mainly understanding its their nature not to be human and the balance in life and death. Then there is bat shit crazy when a person tries to make them people, against their will as predators, prey and/or comfort creatures. This makes me feel sorry for all the dogs forced to wear clothing.
5540801 They're Luna's permits. Maybe I should put her name in there...
Are you seriously gonna try and make a thousand different chapters for this book?
5540870 I'm just going to keep writing until it's not fun anymore. We'll see where that leaves us.
5540885 That date is one of my favorites!
"Ripple, why don't we take Fizzle for a walk? We could take him down to the park and watch him chase (and possibly maim) some ducks."
"Aaawww, I knew you loved animals."
"Yes, yes I do (but not as much as plausible deniability.)"
5540960 Ha! That's great! Two (or more) birds with one dog.
Ripple is a terrible dog owner and needs to be smacked around with a newspaper. Our own dog, despite being a lovebug too, doesn't mercilessly love complete strangers for that long.
Also, why the change from third-person to first?
5541129 Damn it. Stupid typo. Let me just go and fix that...
The word you want is "shuddered", not "shuttered."
5541257 No, no. She totally ran home and closed all the shutters in her house to—
No, I'm living a lie. It's a typo. Thanks for the catch!
All of that, for a pun. You sir, are a genius.
Favorite chapter: Date Fifteen: A Royal Pain in the Aft
And here I had thought that you had a blog post today too just by coincidence.
<last line>
[youtube=6YMPAH67f4o]
5540744
Aw shucks. I'm glad I was able to amuse you. I honestly didn't think it was that funny.
Ew, dogs. Cheerilee, I don't blame you one little bit.
Ugh sick!! This is why I would probably think very long and very hard before trying to date someone with a dog because I swear it seems like NOBODY nowadays understands how to train the damn things. Slobbery, mangy, stupid lickers.
If it's not the incessant licking it's shoving their noses in my personal business or jumping on me and scratching me with their big unclean and unmanaged claws. Sick sick sick.
(I understand that not all dogs are like that and some people DO understand the correct way to train their dogs so they DON'T do this, but I swear to god the number of times I've encountered a dog I could genuinely like I can count on one hand and not even use my thumb.)
*snerks* Oh god, I can't stand pet owners like that. I mean, I love my dog, but I can respect not everyone else does. Get that poor beast some training.
5540613 Well, you'll get more of him. He shows up a few times because he's fun for me to write.
5540625 Gridiron has no redeeming qualities.
5540647 Fourteen now. :(
5541408 I'll write any amount of ridiculousness for a pun. Puns are worth it.
5542046 I had a great time writing that chapter. I really wanted people to think he seems okay for a second, then BAM!
5542369 It was a coincidence, actually. I wrote the first half of this chapter roughly a month ago. I just happened to pick it back up when my wife started this dog thing. I wondered how many people would think it was inspired by that blog post.
5542423 I just really needed to use that gag somewhere. I figured the end was as good a place as any.
5543125 I like dogs, but not that kind of dog...
Blame my perverted mind and all the fanfics I read for why I thought this was going to go further
My mind is officially in the gutter, I was assuming all sorts of unfortunate implications about Fizzle and Ripple right up until the latter's confused expression at the end and the author's note.
Dam that dog has been getting more action than Cheerilee as of late, and he was the one who came onto Cheerilee. I keep thinking it can't get any worse, but it's a loosely cloaked dare. Forgive me, o' wielder of the type.
5550863 Oh, I'm sure it will get worse. It always gets worse for Cheerilee.
Pets have a nasty habit of doing this, don't they? Butting in during what should be intimate moments and whatnot. I wonder if anypony of the Mane 6 have this problem.
5552978 You know Fluttershy must. Angel is way too big of a pain in the ass not to jack up her dates when he's able. I'd say Opal is a likely candidate, as well, if the dinner time schedule was interrupted or something similar.
The sad part is, this is probably the most action that Cheerilee's ever gotten.
5553138 Maybe she could talk to Twilight about borrowing that transformation spell...
i.imgur.com/od0xMCF.png
5573782 When do my complimentary Thin Mints show up?
I thought you could comment on the story as a whole as well as individual chapters.
Just uh, ignore that deleted comment. It's the same as below:
5582807 Welcome to Fimfiction, and I'm glad you found the story again. Cheerilee isn't so thrilled with this tale, but I'm happy other people are enjoying it. Readers going in for a second and third read through make my day.
5611861 I see Caramel as kind of the male Cheerilee. He just has impossibly bad luck sprinkled with some questionable decision making skills. I've seen him as a hard-luck character ever since Winter Wrap Up.
5642985 I see Cheerilee as an open-minded sort of pony. One who's not afraid to experiment with things to find herself. I mean, she's willing to give all these ponies a shot, right? Only someone very open-minded and love-seeking would do that.
5642993 That was literally the first chapter that came to mind when I decided to write this story. I was going to save it for a milestone, but at some point I just needed a chapter and used it. I think I needed to get to chapter 19, which was when I told Jondor I'd publish his chapter. I just wanted to get there so he wouldn't be waiting forever.