Supervillains are always hunting for mystical ancient artifacts. I can back that up--I worked for one.
Emphasis on "worked." We were probing yet another long-abandoned underground city when my employer finally found the fabled Sphere of Meganacus...only to find it wasn't exactly friendly to humans. Now my boss, my best friend, and my worst enemy are all tiny sentient horses. Yes, I really just said that.
Did I mention they're a lot younger, now, too? God, I need a drink. I hate babysitting operations.
Set in the same universe as "Someone Came With Her."
Chapters (3)
Liked and faved.
3437185
agreed
I am just loving this. Pure gold.
Beyond a few typos, very well written. It oozes style and all of the characters are well-defined and stand out from each other (or at least, they did; not sure what they'll be like now that it seems as if the machine stripped them of their defining personality traits).
>"You're quite a pain in the ass," muttered Slayde.
Not that he would mind a more literal form of that, I imagine.
The setting looks kind of like Dr. Horrible without the female love interest and with 300% more gayness. The characters and the narrator's descriptions of them are solidly funny even if they don't make me roll on the floor with laughter. Will follow.
If this is set in the same universe as SCWH, will there be an explanation of how the whole ancient magitek civilization thing relates to Equestria? Or maybe even interaction with actual Equestria?
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2604-Luna_saw_what_you_did_there.jpg
This has promise.
3438346
3437497
3437185
3438041
Thanks, all!
3438072
I know you don't mince words, so your review is quite encouraging. And rest assured, the question as to whether or not their personalities changed has a much more complicated answer than what the narrator initially thinks. I'm no fan of mindwipe regression, I'll say that much.
3438274
I've never actually seen Dr. Horrible, but looking through its description now, I can see some resemblance.
As for your question about how it will cross over with Someone Came With Her, it's hard for me to explain without spoilers. But I'm thinking of tentatively titling this shared setting as "What We Left Behind."
3438274
Also, why the focus on Slayde's incantation? Are you trying to imply it was a ribald reference of some sort?
Sheesh, people and their dirty minds these days.
3438448
Good to hear. Looking forward to what comes next.
Oh, I mince words, and pulverize them, then chew them up and spit them back out.
3438475
I just noticed it too DX
Tracking out of curiosity.
Хм. The impudent artful sphere conducts them in a place where it will have a possibility to finish the dirty deed. Cleverly.
The interesting story. I will see to it.
I hope the author will write at least under one chapter in a week.
I laughed my ass off. Favorite and a follow earned, good sir.
Please proceed to post next chapter. Power levels critical
This is WONDERFUL.
It's all VERY realistic, if you disregard the super-machine-thing.
+Fav
+Like
+Hope for more chapters
3438903
What are you talking about? Magitek machines are very realistic. They're pretty easy to come by on Ebay, in fact.
3438840
You laughed your ass off? Shit, man...did you manage to put it back on?
3438744
Thanks! I'll do what I can to be punctual about the updates.
3438641
Gracias.
3439204
It took a ton of duct tape and superglue, but yes. I succeeded in reattaching it. Both cheeks.
3439327
Always preferred JB Weld, myself. That, or Gorilla Glue.
I like it, another!
Seriously, it's might be a really food story!
3439346
Gorilla glue was very reliable in this situation, though the right side kept slipping a bit.
Okay, that's as inappropriate as I'm going with this joke. Keep up the good work.
3439379
A really food story, you say? Come to think of it, the protagonist would be pretty hungry by now. Maybe in the next chapter, he could eat Slayde?
*dodges rotten tomatoes*
Sorry man, just couldn't resist that one.
3438475 The incantation sounds phonetically like the phrase "I want to come inside Rainbow Dash." all garbled up.
Not bad. I want to see where this goes.
*Backs away slowly* No, no. Nonono. Dude, for the love of everything, say no!
...
We're doomed.
3439759
Er...it's all a big coincidence, I swear!
3439781
Ominous, isn't it?
I like this... a lot.
3440249
Thanks!
And thanks again to all of you commenters, for that matter. I was kinda uncertain as to how well this would go over.
Oh hell yeah this is hilarious.
I hope our "hero" gets a better reason to hang onto his old boss and XB9 then just the kindness of his heart, because I can imagine him saying "screw it" to herding three foals around and just carrying Chicago out of there alone.
They're already no longer human, it isn't much of a stretch to turn that into "they died down there" and be done with two people he doesn't like/owe anything to.
If he was a good person, he wouldn't be working for a super villain.
3441100
Keep in mind, though, that the story hasn't actually stated if Slayde is genuinely evil or not. Is he a monster, or just an eccentric loser with too much money and ego for his own good?
3441173
Thanks for the critique. I considered the long setup a necessary device in order to establish the dynamic between the principal characters, but I can see where you're coming from.
3441159
Well, the references to death lasers painted a picture of a deranged, desperate, sad man.
Regardless, our hero hasn't exactly proven himself to be gold-hearted himself. He was ready to kill XB9, and only failed to do so because henchmen get shit equipment.
3441173
I thought this intro was a tad too short, if anything. XB9 is practically a blank slate, which means any changes he went through during the transformation (beyond the physical, obviously) will be harder to pick out. I would of preferred more inferred characterization for Chicago and Slayde over the explicit examples we got, but beggars can't be choosers, I suppose.
3441250
"Well, the references to death lasers painted a picture of a deranged, desperate, sad man."
Precisely. But then again, you could call quite a few employers deranged, desperate, and sad...but that doesn't mean that their underlings can't have a moral compass.
There's no question that the protagonist has some moral defects, given his immense cynicism and somewhat mercenary nature. But in that scenario you mentioned, he was acting out of self-defense.
3441323
I'm mostly hoping oracle-thing prevents the group from continuing forward unless all members are present. That lets our hero be all snarky about how he wants to leave Slayde/XB9 behind but can't, which I imagine would open up plenty of avenues for comedy.
3441353
Slayde won't give the protagonist an easy time, I can confirm. And likewise, the protagonist isn't going to let Slayde get away with all his usual tomfoolery.
3441394
... If Slayde is the most intact of the foals, does that mean his personality was most compatible with Equestria?
3441401
Like I mentioned to Darkentrophy, the mental changes brought about by the machine are much more complicated than what the protagonist thinks. Emotional shock has a way of screwing with the way we express ourselves.
This story is just as good reading it a second time
Would have thought Slayde would be the one to get turned into a unicorn pony.
So did the sphere transport them to Equestria or are they now going to have to deal those seismic charges that XB9 mentioned?
3442014
The Termite King told me to send you his heartiest thanks!
3442260
I shudder to think what hijinks Slayde would have instigated if he was a unicorn.
I, uh, I don't suppose that chant has anything to do with this fic?
So this has been what you've been up to...
I approve of this distraction, carry on
3442552
Pfft, purely just your imagination.
3442616
And I approve of your approval! Do you approve of this?
3442627 no, it needed more of this
also, im very interested on how you're going to connect the two stories
3442632
Good to hear it! I hope you'll like the way they ultimately tie together.
3442642
What the hell are you doing replying to all my damn comments!?!?!?!
I'm sitting here spamming the refresh button for a reason! Shoo shoo get back to writing foo!
i am not responsible for any damage fluttershy might cause
3442665
I can't do much story writing at the moment, since I'm posting from my phone. Damn claustrophobic little thing.
3442682
Google drive on mobile
Now work slave!
3442521
Hehe, I still have that picture lying around here somewhere
3442794
By the way, thanks for adding me to the watch list, too. 'Tis an honor.
3442796
I've been reading your stuff before I even started writing.
The pleasure is all mine, my comrade!
3442802
Aw, shucks.
That reminds me, I eventually need to finish a certain story you gave me a prompt for...