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Kwakerjak

Joined March 2012
1,460 followers

A thirtysomething Brony from Pennsylvania with a library degree.

Sequels

  • Inscape
    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.

    29,329 words · 17,831 views · 2,073 likes · 29 dislikes

Stories (9)

  • Petriculture
    Twilight tries to figure out how rock farming works.

    6,716 words · 35,229 views · 2,600 likes · 38 dislikes
  • Inscape
    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.
    29,329 words · 17,831 views · 2,073 likes · 29 dislikes
  • Avocation
    Penumbra seeks gainful employment.
    4,569 words · 6,247 views · 1,126 likes · 14 dislikes
  • Wild, Sweet & Cool
    Rainbow Dash wants to add strength training to her regimen by having Twilight Sparkle ride her.
    34,743 words · 13,833 views · 1,556 likes · 23 dislikes
  • π
    13,511 words · 5,253 views · 795 likes · 11 dislikes
  • Flash Fog
    89,808 words · 11,555 views · 1,373 likes · 24 dislikes
  • Pandelirium
    77,413 words · 4,977 views · 718 likes · 13 dislikes
  • So, Just What Went Wrong, Anyway?
    5,213 words · 2,984 views · 308 likes · 4 dislikes
  • The Final Accusation: A Legal Comedy
    21,338 words · 2,152 views · 324 likes · 6 dislikes

Blog Posts (304)

Source

In an effort to keep her mind occupied, Twilight Sparkle decides to delve once again into the grand mysteries of Pinkie Pie. This time, Twilight's focus is on her claims of growing up on a rock farm: like so many things related to Pinkie Pie, the idea that somepony could grow rocks as an agricultural product makes absolutely no sense. However, the investigation eventually leads Twilight to a rather... surprising discovery.

This is the first story in The Petriculture Cycle.

Artwork by Page Turner. Now with a TV Tropes page.

First Published
6th Mar 2012
Last Modified
6th Mar 2012

Comments ( 407 )

#1 · 111w, 21h ago · 12 · ·

This is the kind of story that makes me want to jump for joy -- and at the same time, makes me feel entirely inadequate as an author.

You have The Magics!  :coolphoto:

#2 · 111w, 20h ago · 2 · ·

That could work...I mean only an imaginary friend could be like Pinkie.

And I think the statue Celestia was looking at was Discord...who knows..

#3 · 111w, 20h ago · 3 · ·

This is without a doubt the cleverest fic I have ever read! :pinkiegasp:

Wow... just... wow! :pinkiehappy:

#5 · 111w, 20h ago · · ·

:| ....Goddammit, this is now my headcanon. This story is AWESOME.

#6 · 111w, 19h ago · · ·

Love it:heart:

To good for a oneshort, needs more.

#7 · 111w, 19h ago · · ·

Headcanon accepted.

#8 · 111w, 18h ago · · ·

They were referencing Nightmare Moon or Discord at the end. (Im sexy and) I KNOW IT!

#9 · 111w, 18h ago · 1 · ·

>>294685

That's what I had in mind.

#10 · 111w, 17h ago · · ·

My god. I love you. You're a genius and I love you.

#11 · 111w, 17h ago · · ·

That was awesome.

Cynewulf
Story Approver
#12 · 111w, 17h ago · · ·

Oooooh... that was clever. You are a very clever pony and you should feel very clever.

:pinkiegasp:

What an idea! An amazing concept coupled with some really heartfelt emotional conflict-- the tings I enjoy the most in a story. Wonderful, wonderful!

And that end... was actually perfect. I shivered a little bit, imagining a sort of camera-pan towards Discord in the garden. Discord as an imaginary friend would make perfect sense. He seems relatively benign for something that embodies chaos. I mean, no one dies, no one is seriously hurt directly by him, and he even surrenders the location to the only weapons capable of defeating him. He's a mean imaginary friend of a god playing a game. A mean game... but still a game.

#13 · 111w, 17h ago · · ·

I love this idea so much. I want this to be canon is how much I love it.

#14 · 111w, 17h ago · · ·

I'm not going to induct this into my headcanon, but only because I already have a complex setup in place involving Pinkie's sisters, parents, and the various occupational perils of petriculture. Rest assured, I still think that this is still a fantastically thought out and written origin story. Well done!:pinkiehappy:

#15 · 111w, 16h ago · 1 · ·

I've seen Pinkie as a standard pony... Pinkie as a cyborg clone from a colony of outer-space Pinkies... Pinkie as the embodiment of primordial chaos and a danger to all of Equestria... As the grand-daughter of Loki, or as the assistant of Death from another realm, as a killer, as an amnesiac, as an inventor and as a Great Old One...

And now I can add 'imaginary friend' to that list as well.  She Of The Many Origins. :pinkiesmile:

#16 · 111w, 15h ago · · ·

Shivers at the last part. Thank you for writing this, you are a genius. I shall be watching you.

#17 · 111w, 15h ago · 2 · ·

This story is good and you should feel good for writing it.

Pinkie-as-imaginary-friend is fantastic, and the Surprise reference is even better.

#18 · 111w, 14h ago · · ·

I want to hear about Celestea and lunar making an imaginary friend into a real pony:trollestia:

#19 · 111w, 14h ago · · ·

really good story, and  wonderful ending, i hope there will be a story about luna and celestia creating discord ,too

#20 · 111w, 13h ago · · ·

and, mind fuck

#21 · 111w, 13h ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp::rainbowderp::eeyup:

.....Mind blown

#22 · 111w, 13h ago · · ·

I`m impressed.

Well done.

#23 · 111w, 13h ago · · ·

Wow.  That was amazing! I love the way you structured the revelation and made it make sense.

#24 · 111w, 12h ago · · ·

This is the coolest fan-fic I have EVER READ. :pinkiehappy: Have my thumbs and stars.

#25 · 111w, 12h ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp: Wow, that was good! :pinkiehappy:

#26 · 111w, 12h ago · · ·

This story is at least 19.3 levels of awesome.

#27 · 111w, 11h ago · · ·

Well crap. I don't know what to say about this. It's heartwarming, and a little sad at the same time. That'd be so strange. To have created your best friend, and not have her be merely imaginary.

I only got the part about Discord after comparing some comments and the last few sentences, but that one actually almost brought a tear to my eye. Because that's kind of heartbreaking, because what if he was benign at first, but they got bored in their godhood-ness and forgot about him, only for him to become angry?

#28 · 111w, 11h ago · · ·

That was absolutely brilliant. I'm so glad I decided to take the time to read this. :pinkiehappy:

#29 · 111w, 10h ago · 1 · ·

:pinkiegasp::rainbowhuh::ajsleepy::applecry::unsuresweetie:

I really don't even know right now. Surprise=Pinkie=My poor brain's utter confusion. Beautifully written though, so congrats on that.

#30 · 111w, 8h ago · · ·

First impression:

Huh, Pinkie must have a sad past or something.

By the end:

THATMAKESSOMUCHFUCKINGSENSEYOUJUSTBLEWMYGODDAMNMIND

#31 · 111w, 8h ago · · ·

This is... plausible, almost. Yeah, damn a mindscrew and a half-and I love it!:pinkiehappy: And the end with Discord and the Elements? Perfect capper.

#33 · 111w, 7h ago · · ·

Wow just wow.

#34 · 111w, 6h ago · · ·

HEADCANON ASSIMILATION PROCESSING...

#35 · 111w, 6h ago · · ·

MIND. BLOWN.

Course, this makes TwiPie an incredibly awkward ship. But still, I think this'll become headcanon for me anyway. Also makes Discord more tragic, which is a sad plus. :fluttercry:

#36 · 111w, 6h ago · · ·

at first i was all like: this is funny and it's a really good book:pinkiesmile:

then i was all like: hmm so pinkie's just twi's imaginary friend from her fillyhood? well that makes sense.:duck:

then after the end i was just all like: wow they created Discord? and....... 3........... 2..........1 ..... aaaaand MINDFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiecrazy::rainbowlaugh: GOOD NIGHT EVERYPONY!!!!!!!!!!!:twilightsheepish:

#37 · 111w, 6h ago · · ·

My closest theory/prediction was Pinkie coming from the 4th wall. Others included Twi's sister, orphan, and spy from the Griffan kingdom. I was blindsided by the 'Twi's imaginary friend' origin.

Thumbs up and favorited!:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::raritystarry::yay::ajsmug::rainbowdetermined2::derpytongue2::scootangel::twistnerd:

#38 · 111w, 6h ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp: I will never look at Pinkie Pie the same way again!

And I LOVE it! :pinkiehappy:

#39 · 111w, 6h ago · · ·

3/5. While an interesting idea through and through, the actual content needs cleaning up in several places. I recommend reading a style book.

Try harder. Don't just push for excellency. Push for perfection.

#40 · 111w, 5h ago · · ·

Woah.

...

So...

Can they still date? :pinkiehappy::twilightblush:

#41 · 111w, 5h ago · · ·

This was shear BRILLIANCE.

5/5 for sure.

#42 · 111w, 5h ago · · ·

Wow... This is... New. BUT IT MAKES SENSE! :pinkiegasp:

Mind = blown.

#43 · 111w, 4h ago · · ·

3, 2, 1, headcanon updated!

#44 · 111w, 4h ago · 1 · ·

Niiice. Not quite up to being incorporated into my headcanon, but still a good story to have and an interesting and original take on our favorite pink cluster of highly-localized insanity singularities.

Very, very good show, sir. Quite lovely.:ajsmug:

#45 · 111w, 4h ago · · ·

O.O ........:derpyderp1::derpyderp2::rainbowhuh::twilightoops::applejackconfused:

............................................:pinkiehappy:

This is incredible!  I................

..............................

words are inadequate here.   I need something stronger......  Nope, I've got nothing.

Your story is awesome and brilliant.

#46 · 111w, 4h ago · · ·

What were they smoking to come up with discord?

Great overall....much better a reason than 'Pinkie Pie is an escaped mental patient' reason more commonly used.

#47 · 111w, 3h ago · · ·

Whoah.

I've seen all sorts of explorations of Pinkie's childhood and her family, but this one's unique. Mind-blowing! :pinkiegasp:

#48 · 111w, 3h ago · · ·

O.O it's all so clear now

#49 · 111w, 2h ago · · ·

... THIS. ALL OF MY THIS. THIS FOREVER.

This is now my headcanon. FOR-EV-ER.

#50 · 111w, 1h ago · · ·

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

tl;dr :trollestia:

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