• T Inscape

    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.  · Kwakerjak
    29,301 words · 19,084 views  ·  2,177  ·  29  · 

Featured In48

More Stories9

  • T Inscape

    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.
    29,301 words · 19,084 views  ·  2,177  ·  29
  • E Avocation

    Penumbra seeks gainful employment.
    4,557 words · 6,942 views  ·  1,201  ·  16
  • T Wild, Sweet & Cool

    Rainbow Dash wants to add strength training to her regimen by having Twilight Sparkle ride her.
    34,747 words · 14,709 views  ·  1,617  ·  25
  • E π

    Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight Sparkle. ("Magic Duel" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)
    13,511 words · 5,896 views  ·  860  ·  12
  • E Flash Fog

    Fluttershy must deal with an unusually thick fog as it approaches Ponyville.
    121,078 words · 13,736 views  ·  1,545  ·  28
  • T Pandelirium

    Celestia decides to attempt to reform Discord, so she taps a pony with a similar background for the job. ("Keep Calm and Flutter On" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)
    77,413 words · 11,238 views  ·  800  ·  14
  • E So, Just What Went Wrong, Anyway?

    Before Applejack's pep rally, Derpy was acting really weird... even for her. This is why.
    5,213 words · 3,322 views  ·  332  ·  5
  • E The Final Accusation: A Legal Comedy

    A dozen years after ascending to become an alicorn, Applejack rules on the case of Tiara v. FlimFlam
    21,338 words · 2,500 views  ·  354  ·  6

Blog Posts389

  • Today
    Who likes kickass bass lines?

    More like who doesn't like them, amiright?

    Of course I am. Have some Sugarloaf.

    Side note: Sugarloaf would be a great pony name, too.

    3 comments · 75 views
  • 1w, 19h
    Holy crap, I'm nearly done.

    I just finished making my initial outline for Chapter 50 of Flash Fog, and it occurred to me that I'm actually getting close to the end of the story. I've been writing this story for more than two years now, and I'm finally within sight of the finish line--in fact, at my current rate, there's a very good chance I'll finish sometime around Thanksgiving.

    (And to think I originally thought this story would be a 5,000-word oneshot...)

    4 comments · 131 views
  • 1w, 3d
    Flash Fog: Update

    Well, I have finished the draft of Chapter 49. I'm going to give my prereaders some time to look it over, and hopefully, I'll be posting it tomorrow.

    0 comments · 69 views
  • 1w, 4d

    There are a lot of really fun videos on YouTube featuring folks attempting to eat the traditional Swedish dish, surströmming. Surströmming is canned, fermented fish, usually eaten on some sort of flatbread with a name I can't remember at the moment. It is known for being very, very, very... er... pungent. Let's put it this way: people unfamiliar with the smell have been known to contact emergency services after encountering its distinct aroma (and as Dave Barry might say, I am not making this up).

    But you know what's more amusing than watching idiots deliberately subject themselves to surströmming? Watching naive fools accidentally subject themselves to it. In a small, enclosed space.

    Life is good.

    18 comments · 153 views
  • 1w, 4d

    Okay, so I just noticed that the number of views Pandelirium has received apparently spiked while I wasn't looking -- it's now the third most-viewed story in the Petriculture Cycle, despite being the last one. At first I figured that some of my readers decided to skip to the end, but when I looked at the total views for the first chapter (Chapter 10)* was still between 5,000 and 6,000, just where I remembered it being. It was only after going through each chapter that I realized that all of the new-found attention is focused squarely on Chapter 3, and I am extremely confused. Don't get me wrong, I love Chapter 3, and I'm very proud of it, but it has almost twice as many views as the story's initial chapter, and three times the views of the chapters that come before and after it.

    You'd think that there'd be something in the comments section that would explain this spike, but there haven't been any changes at all since I last remember. Clicking on the statistics tab shows nothing either, so if somebody influential in the brony community linked to that chapter, it wasn't from outside of, but if it was on FimFiction, I'd think one of my readers would have let me know...

    Seriously, does anyone have any idea what's going on here?

    *To those of you who haven't read the story yet, Pandelirium's chapters are numbered in reverse order.

    12 comments · 302 views
  • ...

In an effort to keep her mind occupied, Twilight Sparkle decides to delve once again into the grand mysteries of Pinkie Pie. This time, Twilight's focus is on her claims of growing up on a rock farm: like so many things related to Pinkie Pie, the idea that somepony could grow rocks as an agricultural product makes absolutely no sense. However, the investigation eventually leads Twilight to a rather... surprising discovery.

This is the first story in The Petriculture Cycle.

Artwork by Page Turner. Now with a TV Tropes page.

First Published
6th Mar 2012
Last Modified
6th Mar 2012
#1 · 137w, 5h ago · 16 · ·

This is the kind of story that makes me want to jump for joy -- and at the same time, makes me feel entirely inadequate as an author.

You have The Magics!  :coolphoto:

#2 · 137w, 4h ago · 5 · ·

That could work...I mean only an imaginary friend could be like Pinkie.

And I think the statue Celestia was looking at was Discord...who knows..

#3 · 137w, 4h ago · 5 · ·

This is without a doubt the cleverest fic I have ever read! :pinkiegasp:

Wow... just... wow! :pinkiehappy:

#5 · 137w, 4h ago · · ·

:| ....Goddammit, this is now my headcanon. This story is AWESOME.

#6 · 137w, 3h ago · · ·

Love it:heart:

To good for a oneshort, needs more.

#7 · 137w, 3h ago · · ·

Headcanon accepted.

#8 · 137w, 2h ago · · ·

They were referencing Nightmare Moon or Discord at the end. (Im sexy and) I KNOW IT!

#9 · 137w, 2h ago · 2 · ·


That's what I had in mind.

#10 · 137w, 1h ago · · ·

My god. I love you. You're a genius and I love you.

#11 · 137w, 1h ago · · ·

That was awesome.

#12 · 137w, 1h ago · 2 · ·

Oooooh... that was clever. You are a very clever pony and you should feel very clever.


What an idea! An amazing concept coupled with some really heartfelt emotional conflict-- the tings I enjoy the most in a story. Wonderful, wonderful!

And that end... was actually perfect. I shivered a little bit, imagining a sort of camera-pan towards Discord in the garden. Discord as an imaginary friend would make perfect sense. He seems relatively benign for something that embodies chaos. I mean, no one dies, no one is seriously hurt directly by him, and he even surrenders the location to the only weapons capable of defeating him. He's a mean imaginary friend of a god playing a game. A mean game... but still a game.

#13 · 137w, 1h ago · · ·

I love this idea so much. I want this to be canon is how much I love it.

#14 · 137w, 1h ago · · ·

I'm not going to induct this into my headcanon, but only because I already have a complex setup in place involving Pinkie's sisters, parents, and the various occupational perils of petriculture. Rest assured, I still think that this is still a fantastically thought out and written origin story. Well done!:pinkiehappy:

#15 · 137w, 44m ago · 1 · ·

I've seen Pinkie as a standard pony... Pinkie as a cyborg clone from a colony of outer-space Pinkies... Pinkie as the embodiment of primordial chaos and a danger to all of Equestria... As the grand-daughter of Loki, or as the assistant of Death from another realm, as a killer, as an amnesiac, as an inventor and as a Great Old One...

And now I can add 'imaginary friend' to that list as well.  She Of The Many Origins. :pinkiesmile:

#16 · 137w, 3m ago · · ·

Shivers at the last part. Thank you for writing this, you are a genius. I shall be watching you.

#17 · 136w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

This story is good and you should feel good for writing it.

Pinkie-as-imaginary-friend is fantastic, and the Surprise reference is even better.

#18 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

I want to hear about Celestea and lunar making an imaginary friend into a real pony:trollestia:

#19 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

really good story, and  wonderful ending, i hope there will be a story about luna and celestia creating discord ,too

#20 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

and, mind fuck

#21 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·


.....Mind blown

#22 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

I`m impressed.

Well done.

#23 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

Wow.  That was amazing! I love the way you structured the revelation and made it make sense.

#24 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

This is the coolest fan-fic I have EVER READ. :pinkiehappy: Have my thumbs and stars.

#25 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp: Wow, that was good! :pinkiehappy:

#26 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

This story is at least 19.3 levels of awesome.

#27 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

Well crap. I don't know what to say about this. It's heartwarming, and a little sad at the same time. That'd be so strange. To have created your best friend, and not have her be merely imaginary.

I only got the part about Discord after comparing some comments and the last few sentences, but that one actually almost brought a tear to my eye. Because that's kind of heartbreaking, because what if he was benign at first, but they got bored in their godhood-ness and forgot about him, only for him to become angry?

#28 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

That was absolutely brilliant. I'm so glad I decided to take the time to read this. :pinkiehappy:

#29 · 136w, 6d ago · 2 · ·


I really don't even know right now. Surprise=Pinkie=My poor brain's utter confusion. Beautifully written though, so congrats on that.

#30 · 136w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

First impression:

Huh, Pinkie must have a sad past or something.

By the end:


#31 · 136w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

This is... plausible, almost. Yeah, damn a mindscrew and a half-and I love it!:pinkiehappy: And the end with Discord and the Elements? Perfect capper.

#33 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

Wow just wow.

#34 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·


#35 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·


Course, this makes TwiPie an incredibly awkward ship. But still, I think this'll become headcanon for me anyway. Also makes Discord more tragic, which is a sad plus. :fluttercry:

#36 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

at first i was all like: this is funny and it's a really good book:pinkiesmile:

then i was all like: hmm so pinkie's just twi's imaginary friend from her fillyhood? well that makes sense.:duck:

then after the end i was just all like: wow they created Discord? and....... 3........... 2..........1 ..... aaaaand MINDFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiecrazy::rainbowlaugh: GOOD NIGHT EVERYPONY!!!!!!!!!!!:twilightsheepish:

#37 · 136w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

My closest theory/prediction was Pinkie coming from the 4th wall. Others included Twi's sister, orphan, and spy from the Griffan kingdom. I was blindsided by the 'Twi's imaginary friend' origin.

Thumbs up and favorited!:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::raritystarry::yay::ajsmug::rainbowdetermined2::derpytongue2::scootangel::twistnerd:

#38 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp: I will never look at Pinkie Pie the same way again!

And I LOVE it! :pinkiehappy:

#39 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

3/5. While an interesting idea through and through, the actual content needs cleaning up in several places. I recommend reading a style book.

Try harder. Don't just push for excellency. Push for perfection.

#40 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·




Can they still date? :pinkiehappy::twilightblush:

#41 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

This was shear BRILLIANCE.

5/5 for sure.

#42 · 136w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Wow... This is... New. BUT IT MAKES SENSE! :pinkiegasp:

Mind = blown.

#43 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

3, 2, 1, headcanon updated!

#44 · 136w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Niiice. Not quite up to being incorporated into my headcanon, but still a good story to have and an interesting and original take on our favorite pink cluster of highly-localized insanity singularities.

Very, very good show, sir. Quite lovely.:ajsmug:

#45 · 136w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

O.O ........:derpyderp1::derpyderp2::rainbowhuh::twilightoops::applejackconfused:


This is incredible!  I................


words are inadequate here.   I need something stronger......  Nope, I've got nothing.

Your story is awesome and brilliant.

#46 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

What were they smoking to come up with discord?

Great overall....much better a reason than 'Pinkie Pie is an escaped mental patient' reason more commonly used.

#47 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·


I've seen all sorts of explorations of Pinkie's childhood and her family, but this one's unique. Mind-blowing! :pinkiegasp:

#48 · 136w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

O.O it's all so clear now

#49 · 136w, 6d ago · 1 · ·


This is now my headcanon. FOR-EV-ER.

#50 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

tl;dr :trollestia:

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