• T Inscape

    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.  · Kwakerjak
    29,281 words · 19,158 views  ·  2,178  ·  30  · 

Featured In48

More Stories9

  • T Inscape

    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.
    29,281 words · 19,158 views  ·  2,178  ·  30
  • E Avocation

    Penumbra seeks gainful employment.
    4,557 words · 6,982 views  ·  1,206  ·  16
  • T Wild, Sweet & Cool

    Rainbow Dash wants to add strength training to her regimen by having Twilight Sparkle ride her.
    34,747 words · 14,742 views  ·  1,622  ·  25
  • E π

    Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight Sparkle. ("Magic Duel" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)
    13,505 words · 5,937 views  ·  862  ·  12
  • E Flash Fog

    Fluttershy must deal with an unusually thick fog as it approaches Ponyville.
    123,078 words · 13,857 views  ·  1,548  ·  29
  • T Pandelirium

    Celestia decides to attempt to reform Discord, so she taps a pony with a similar background for the job. ("Keep Calm and Flutter On" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)
    77,357 words · 12,078 views  ·  803  ·  14
  • E So, Just What Went Wrong, Anyway?

    Before Applejack's pep rally, Derpy was acting really weird... even for her. This is why.
    5,213 words · 3,337 views  ·  332  ·  5
  • E The Final Accusation: A Legal Comedy

    A dozen years after ascending to become an alicorn, Applejack rules on the case of Tiara v. FlimFlam
    21,338 words · 2,517 views  ·  356  ·  6

Blog Posts393

  • Wednesday
    Prereader Conversation: Wilderness Survival

    me 8:41 PM

    I just saw a YouTube ad for the new FarCry installment.

    Blackbelt 8:41 PM


    me 8:42 PM

    I'm disappointed that the cover of "I Will Survive" sounds nothing like Cake's version.

    (I've no interest in playing the game myself, by the way.)

    They managed to find an artist willing to record a version of the song that's actually more melodramatic than the original.

    Blackbelt 8:45 PM

    I have zero interest in Far Cry as well

    me 8:46 PM

    Right. I'm just saying that if you're going to perform "I Will Survive" without any irony whatsoever, you'd better have a disco beat in the background, because that's the only way to pull it off.

    MaskedFerret 8:49 PM


    Though, I do confess I love Cake's take on it

    me 8:50 PM

    Methinks I have a decent blog post here. Hang on a second.

    For reference, here's the trailer:

    Here's Cake:

    And here's the original version:

    9 comments · 141 views
  • Monday
    Etrian Odyssey: Untold

    So, I've been playing Etrian Odyssey: Untold on my 3DS for a while now, and I'm really hoping at least one of my readers has as well, because I've run into a problem with one of the bosses.

    I can't seem to beat the Ant Queen on Floor B12... or rather, I can't seem to get rid of the eggs in the room before facing her, because I keep running into the secondary ants that those eggs spawn, and it takes me forever to beat them, which means that the queen has time to lay more eggs that spawn more ants and even if I did manage to get rid of the eggs it would make a difference because my alchemist would be almost completely out of TP which means I wouldn't be able to beat the Ant Queen even if I tried and I am getting so goddamned sick of swearing and cursing at this game and I want to just get on with the dungeon crawling and ARRRGGGH!

    So... is there anyone who can help me out here?

    7 comments · 111 views
  • 1w, 1d
    Flash Fog: Update

    For the past few months, updates to Flash Fog have been happening at a fairly regular pace: about three times a month, since I generally have been setting the 10th, 20th, and 30th of each month as my "goal" dates to get things done. However, the next post might take a bit longer. You see, the story's almost done, but I'm still not sure where the chapter divisions are going to fall in the last few entries (or even how many chapters of story there are, to be honest). Thus, I've decided to write the rest of the story in its entirety before I post it, and therefor, it might take a little longer...

    Then again, I've been thinking about the end of this story since nearly the beginning, so for all I know it might go even faster. In any case, we'll just have to see what happens.

    2 comments · 113 views
  • 1w, 2d

    That's right, it's a teaser cartoon, which implies that another cartoon will follow shortly.

    And for any who doubt that Homestar's back for reals this time, consider that Matt Chapman left his job working on Gravity Falls so he could move closer to his brother (because one doesn't jumpstart an iconic internet site over Skype). I'm pretty sure they mean business.

    3 comments · 104 views
  • 1w, 3d
    Who likes kickass bass lines?

    More like who doesn't like them, amiright?

    Of course I am. Have some Sugarloaf.

    Side note: Sugarloaf would be a great pony name, too.

    4 comments · 110 views
  • ...

In an effort to keep her mind occupied, Twilight Sparkle decides to delve once again into the grand mysteries of Pinkie Pie. This time, Twilight's focus is on her claims of growing up on a rock farm: like so many things related to Pinkie Pie, the idea that somepony could grow rocks as an agricultural product makes absolutely no sense. However, the investigation eventually leads Twilight to a rather... surprising discovery.

This is the first story in The Petriculture Cycle.

Artwork by Page Turner. Now with a TV Tropes page.

First Published
6th Mar 2012
Last Modified
6th Mar 2012
#1 · 138w, 3d ago · 17 · ·

This is the kind of story that makes me want to jump for joy -- and at the same time, makes me feel entirely inadequate as an author.

You have The Magics!  :coolphoto:

#2 · 138w, 3d ago · 5 · ·

That could work...I mean only an imaginary friend could be like Pinkie.

And I think the statue Celestia was looking at was Discord...who knows..

#3 · 138w, 3d ago · 5 · ·

This is without a doubt the cleverest fic I have ever read! :pinkiegasp:

Wow... just... wow! :pinkiehappy:

#5 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

:| ....Goddammit, this is now my headcanon. This story is AWESOME.

#6 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

Love it:heart:

To good for a oneshort, needs more.

#7 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

Headcanon accepted.

#8 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

They were referencing Nightmare Moon or Discord at the end. (Im sexy and) I KNOW IT!

#9 · 138w, 2d ago · 2 · ·


That's what I had in mind.

#10 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

My god. I love you. You're a genius and I love you.

#11 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

That was awesome.

#12 · 138w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

Oooooh... that was clever. You are a very clever pony and you should feel very clever.


What an idea! An amazing concept coupled with some really heartfelt emotional conflict-- the tings I enjoy the most in a story. Wonderful, wonderful!

And that end... was actually perfect. I shivered a little bit, imagining a sort of camera-pan towards Discord in the garden. Discord as an imaginary friend would make perfect sense. He seems relatively benign for something that embodies chaos. I mean, no one dies, no one is seriously hurt directly by him, and he even surrenders the location to the only weapons capable of defeating him. He's a mean imaginary friend of a god playing a game. A mean game... but still a game.

#13 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

I love this idea so much. I want this to be canon is how much I love it.

#14 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

I'm not going to induct this into my headcanon, but only because I already have a complex setup in place involving Pinkie's sisters, parents, and the various occupational perils of petriculture. Rest assured, I still think that this is still a fantastically thought out and written origin story. Well done!:pinkiehappy:

#15 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

I've seen Pinkie as a standard pony... Pinkie as a cyborg clone from a colony of outer-space Pinkies... Pinkie as the embodiment of primordial chaos and a danger to all of Equestria... As the grand-daughter of Loki, or as the assistant of Death from another realm, as a killer, as an amnesiac, as an inventor and as a Great Old One...

And now I can add 'imaginary friend' to that list as well.  She Of The Many Origins. :pinkiesmile:

#16 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

Shivers at the last part. Thank you for writing this, you are a genius. I shall be watching you.

#17 · 138w, 2d ago · 2 · ·

This story is good and you should feel good for writing it.

Pinkie-as-imaginary-friend is fantastic, and the Surprise reference is even better.

#18 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

I want to hear about Celestea and lunar making an imaginary friend into a real pony:trollestia:

#19 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

really good story, and  wonderful ending, i hope there will be a story about luna and celestia creating discord ,too

#20 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

and, mind fuck

#21 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·


.....Mind blown

#22 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

I`m impressed.

Well done.

#23 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

Wow.  That was amazing! I love the way you structured the revelation and made it make sense.

#24 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

This is the coolest fan-fic I have EVER READ. :pinkiehappy: Have my thumbs and stars.

#25 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp: Wow, that was good! :pinkiehappy:

#26 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

This story is at least 19.3 levels of awesome.

#27 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

Well crap. I don't know what to say about this. It's heartwarming, and a little sad at the same time. That'd be so strange. To have created your best friend, and not have her be merely imaginary.

I only got the part about Discord after comparing some comments and the last few sentences, but that one actually almost brought a tear to my eye. Because that's kind of heartbreaking, because what if he was benign at first, but they got bored in their godhood-ness and forgot about him, only for him to become angry?

#28 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

That was absolutely brilliant. I'm so glad I decided to take the time to read this. :pinkiehappy:

#29 · 138w, 2d ago · 2 · ·


I really don't even know right now. Surprise=Pinkie=My poor brain's utter confusion. Beautifully written though, so congrats on that.

#30 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

First impression:

Huh, Pinkie must have a sad past or something.

By the end:


#31 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

This is... plausible, almost. Yeah, damn a mindscrew and a half-and I love it!:pinkiehappy: And the end with Discord and the Elements? Perfect capper.

#33 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

Wow just wow.

#34 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·


#35 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·


Course, this makes TwiPie an incredibly awkward ship. But still, I think this'll become headcanon for me anyway. Also makes Discord more tragic, which is a sad plus. :fluttercry:

#36 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

at first i was all like: this is funny and it's a really good book:pinkiesmile:

then i was all like: hmm so pinkie's just twi's imaginary friend from her fillyhood? well that makes sense.:duck:

then after the end i was just all like: wow they created Discord? and....... 3........... 2..........1 ..... aaaaand MINDFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiecrazy::rainbowlaugh: GOOD NIGHT EVERYPONY!!!!!!!!!!!:twilightsheepish:

#37 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

My closest theory/prediction was Pinkie coming from the 4th wall. Others included Twi's sister, orphan, and spy from the Griffan kingdom. I was blindsided by the 'Twi's imaginary friend' origin.

Thumbs up and favorited!:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::raritystarry::yay::ajsmug::rainbowdetermined2::derpytongue2::scootangel::twistnerd:

#38 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp: I will never look at Pinkie Pie the same way again!

And I LOVE it! :pinkiehappy:

#39 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

3/5. While an interesting idea through and through, the actual content needs cleaning up in several places. I recommend reading a style book.

Try harder. Don't just push for excellency. Push for perfection.

#40 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·




Can they still date? :pinkiehappy::twilightblush:

#41 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

This was shear BRILLIANCE.

5/5 for sure.

#42 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Wow... This is... New. BUT IT MAKES SENSE! :pinkiegasp:

Mind = blown.

#43 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

3, 2, 1, headcanon updated!

#44 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Niiice. Not quite up to being incorporated into my headcanon, but still a good story to have and an interesting and original take on our favorite pink cluster of highly-localized insanity singularities.

Very, very good show, sir. Quite lovely.:ajsmug:

#45 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

O.O ........:derpyderp1::derpyderp2::rainbowhuh::twilightoops::applejackconfused:


This is incredible!  I................


words are inadequate here.   I need something stronger......  Nope, I've got nothing.

Your story is awesome and brilliant.

#46 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

What were they smoking to come up with discord?

Great overall....much better a reason than 'Pinkie Pie is an escaped mental patient' reason more commonly used.

#47 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·


I've seen all sorts of explorations of Pinkie's childhood and her family, but this one's unique. Mind-blowing! :pinkiegasp:

#48 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

O.O it's all so clear now

#49 · 138w, 2d ago · 1 · ·


This is now my headcanon. FOR-EV-ER.

#50 · 138w, 2d ago · · ·

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

tl;dr :trollestia:

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