I do not know what I was doing at the Everfree Forest that day. My friends do not see me anymore. My friends do not hear me anymore. I am alone.
Chapters (9)
- Member Since 6th May, 2013
- offline last seen Monday
SilentWanderer
Walking alone, watching the stars.
SilentWanderer
Joined 6th May, 2013 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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SilentWanderer · 9k words · 20 5 · 978 views
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We are simple creatures are we not, in both body and mind,
Each day we laugh we wonder we imagine the world as we wish it to be,
Though each of us must face the harsh realities of this world time and again,
There is one, that we as a collective species so often refuse to suffer,
One word, sharper then any blade, deeper then any wound, this word is truth,
We fear this word so greatly that many simply take any other answer they can obtain,
All that is dark in this land is born from the fear of this one simple term,
Truth, the truth that no matter who we are, no matter how far we come,
We must all one day face the cold touch of time,
For everything has its begining and everything has its end.
On a side note i love the story premise, i've always been fond of stories that revolve around a character accepting death,
I just hope you dont go with some cheesy loophole like, "she wasnt really dead" or "she gets magiced back to life".
Seems interesting. But it wouldn't hurt to be a bit more detailed when describing things. Or it's on purpose, which makes it okay.
3433405
Believe me, I tried. It is my main problem when writing. I am too concise.
3433405
By the way, if it is about the part before the first section break, it was on purpose. On the rest, it was not.
3433491 It's okay. Besides, I couldn't find any other complaints for this story, so you should be doing good.
3433508 Is it me, or did my last comment sound a bit awkward?
I like it. Very curious and though provoking, and the slight lack of detail isn't jarring, acctually it fits very well with this type of fic. I only have one complaint and it's relitively minor, but the lack of compound words during dialogue makes it feel a little strange (ex "She wasn't there." sounds much more natural than "She was not there."). But as I said it's a minor thing. All in all, good job, good fic :)
3434942
I am not a native speaker, and it shows.
3435006 Ah in that case I apologise, I did not realize. This is good, because now I have no problems with your story
3435035
I fixed it and three places of "I am" to "I'm" in this chapter, and I'm going through the drafts for the rest of the story to add a few more contractions in the dialogue where they feel natural (most of them of the "I am" to "I'm" kind). Thanks for the hint.
I am still thoroughly enjoying this story. You described the emotions and actions of all her friends very well, well enough to get me to tear up a little.
The whole funeral scene was emotional, while keeping everone in character, and I like how you included Celestia and Luna in this scene, a lot of people look over those two. I do have one little complaint though: You described how her friends felt, but you sort of glazed over how Fluttershy felt. It must be pretty emotional seeing your own lifeless body, but through out most of the chapter only her actions were described. Not really a huge deal, especially if you go over it later in the story, just giving my opinion. 
Also I think you meant "Nutritious" not "Nutritive", but technically they both work. Can't wait for more. 
Only one fanfic from the many "sad" or "tragic" fanfics has ever made me cry a tiny bit, but this one... it might take the cake, I nearly waterfalled when the mane six were crying showing they didn't forget her. Keep it up dude, liked and faved.
Well then... my question was answered about her death.
So those were the foals who were thanking her at the funeral?
OMG EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW
3461505
Yes. But Fluttershy missed what the foals said, and only heard their mother.
Thank you for reading.
This was such a sad story
I didn't get the ending though
3472755
Perhaps I should have kept the original title for the last chapter. I changed it because I thought it would be too much of a spoiler. The last chapter's title was Rebirth.
3472866 now I get it.
Honestly, I think "replacement" is not a good way to put it without it making sound bad.
The ending brought a smile to my face and I almost teared up.
Well done.
DAMN YOU AND YOUR GREAT STORY!!!
I loved this story... it was just the right amount of sad with a happy enough ending that made my heart shine.
huh...
im still confused on the ending....
That was quite beautiful.
That was a surprisingly sweet story. Here's a little reward for such a heartwarming tale.
24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png
Wear it with pride;
-Lumino
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/060/f/5/princess_celestia_approved_by_ambris-d4rftlj.png
Approved for Celestia's Library.
Your style is one of those things that shouldn't possibly work, but it does anyway, completely disproving everything I thought I knew about writing.
This story is a sublime piece of literature.
Fluttershy's realization about her "replacement" toward the end was a bit abrupt. It was too convenient, and thus took me out of the story somewhat (it didn't live up to the immersion the story had up to that point), but other than that, it was an amazing experience.
Well done!
I like the story. Very interesting. Just a little confusing
Substantial
Uh-oh, that's not good. It's never good when everyone treats you like a ghost and then someone announces that they've found you. Because it usually means that you are a ghost.
And that puts Pinkie's immense Pinkie Sense flash in context.
Typos
Should be "was" (past tense) and the sentence should indicate about what "there is nothing odd or unusual" (in context I assumed that it was referring to Fluttershy at that previous time).
Substantative:
Not only does Rarity tend toward extreme emotional display, she's also one of Fluttershy's two best friends in canon, so she would.
I approve -- Rainbow Dash would never want to get "mushy" in public. She'd keep the veil in place to make sure nopony saw her crying.
Yep, that's a depressed Pinkie. One can tell because she's being serious and quiet.
Major question which I assume will be answered later: How did she die? What caused her death?
Typos:
Obviously Applejack by style and process of elimination here (Apple Bloom's a child, Big Mac is taciturn) but should get attribution, even something as simple as "Applejack said."
just beautiful. well played fluttershy, well played
3783013 Fluttershy was reincarnated as Spring Egg and Script Letter's daughter.
Of course reading through this, I fell in love with the story, and of course when I check the author it's none other than SilentWanderer. Another great story, I hope to find more like it.
This had an odd atmosphere, I think because of the rather staccato narration style, but it did move me as a character study from an unusual perspective. Not personally a big fan of the very last scene, but I can understand why it's there and it doesn't stop me giving this one a like.
Bootiful.
also i dont get the ending.
Did script writer and spring egg had a foal or sumthin'?
6781005
Take note that the whole story is told in first-person perspective.
Yes, they had a foal. And said foal is Fluttershy reborn. The last chapter was originally titled Rebirth.
If you want a longer explanation, I have a Making Of for this story; part six explains the ending.
Awww, this was a prime opportunity to pull a Brotherhooves Social and have the quiet reserved character do a monologue.
You know, it's weird. She's bizarrely hostile considering she deals with animal deaths all the time and doesn't consider getting new animals to be "replacing" old ones. Is this just a ghost thing?
Fluttershy is awful at moving on if that was any indication.
*click*
Wait why didn't Fluttershy just ask Zecora this is a huge plot hole now
*sarcastic exclamations of shock and awe indicating that I am neither shocked nor awed*
I'm surprised that some readers were fooled, honestly. It's like they've never heard of an unreliable narrator.
Wait, she could interact with the real world this whole time???
Pinkie always knows.
It took me sometime to understand that Fluttershy was reborn. 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
Absolute 100/10 story