• Member Since 6th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Monday

SilentWanderer


Walking alone, watching the stars.

Sequels1

T

I do not know what I was doing at the Everfree Forest that day. My friends do not see me anymore. My friends do not hear me anymore. I am alone.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 46 )

We are simple creatures are we not, in both body and mind,
Each day we laugh we wonder we imagine the world as we wish it to be,
Though each of us must face the harsh realities of this world time and again,
There is one, that we as a collective species so often refuse to suffer,
One word, sharper then any blade, deeper then any wound, this word is truth,
We fear this word so greatly that many simply take any other answer they can obtain,
All that is dark in this land is born from the fear of this one simple term,
Truth, the truth that no matter who we are, no matter how far we come,
We must all one day face the cold touch of time,
For everything has its begining and everything has its end.
On a side note i love the story premise, i've always been fond of stories that revolve around a character accepting death,
I just hope you dont go with some cheesy loophole like, "she wasnt really dead" or "she gets magiced back to life".

Seems interesting. But it wouldn't hurt to be a bit more detailed when describing things. Or it's on purpose, which makes it okay.

3433405

Believe me, I tried. It is my main problem when writing. I am too concise.

3433405

By the way, if it is about the part before the first section break, it was on purpose. On the rest, it was not.

3433491 It's okay. Besides, I couldn't find any other complaints for this story, so you should be doing good.

3433508 Is it me, or did my last comment sound a bit awkward?

I like it. Very curious and though provoking, and the slight lack of detail isn't jarring, acctually it fits very well with this type of fic. I only have one complaint and it's relitively minor, but the lack of compound words during dialogue makes it feel a little strange (ex "She wasn't there." sounds much more natural than "She was not there."). But as I said it's a minor thing. All in all, good job, good fic :)

3434942

[...] the lack of compound words during dialogue makes it feel a little strange (ex "She wasn't there." sounds much more natural than "She was not there.").

I am not a native speaker, and it shows.

3435006 Ah in that case I apologise, I did not realize. This is good, because now I have no problems with your story :twilightsmile:

3435035

I fixed it and three places of "I am" to "I'm" in this chapter, and I'm going through the drafts for the rest of the story to add a few more contractions in the dialogue where they feel natural (most of them of the "I am" to "I'm" kind). Thanks for the hint.

I am still thoroughly enjoying this story. You described the emotions and actions of all her friends very well, well enough to get me to tear up a little.:fluttercry: The whole funeral scene was emotional, while keeping everone in character, and I like how you included Celestia and Luna in this scene, a lot of people look over those two. I do have one little complaint though: You described how her friends felt, but you sort of glazed over how Fluttershy felt. It must be pretty emotional seeing your own lifeless body, but through out most of the chapter only her actions were described. Not really a huge deal, especially if you go over it later in the story, just giving my opinion. :twilightblush: Also I think you meant "Nutritious" not "Nutritive", but technically they both work. Can't wait for more. :twilightsmile:

Only one fanfic from the many "sad" or "tragic" fanfics has ever made me cry a tiny bit, but this one... it might take the cake, I nearly waterfalled when the mane six were crying showing they didn't forget her. Keep it up dude, liked and faved.

Well then... my question was answered about her death.

So those were the foals who were thanking her at the funeral?

OMG EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW

3461505

Yes. But Fluttershy missed what the foals said, and only heard their mother.

Thank you for reading.

This was such a sad story :fluttercry:
I didn't get the ending though

3472755

Perhaps I should have kept the original title for the last chapter. I changed it because I thought it would be too much of a spoiler. The last chapter's title was Rebirth.

Honestly, I think "replacement" is not a good way to put it without it making sound bad.

The ending brought a smile to my face and I almost teared up.

DAMN YOU AND YOUR GREAT STORY!!!

I loved this story... it was just the right amount of sad with a happy enough ending that made my heart shine.

huh...
im still confused on the ending....

That was a surprisingly sweet story. Here's a little reward for such a heartwarming tale.

24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png

Wear it with pride;
-Lumino

Your style is one of those things that shouldn't possibly work, but it does anyway, completely disproving everything I thought I knew about writing.

This story is a sublime piece of literature.

Fluttershy's realization about her "replacement" toward the end was a bit abrupt. It was too convenient, and thus took me out of the story somewhat (it didn't live up to the immersion the story had up to that point), but other than that, it was an amazing experience.

Well done! :raritywink:

I like the story. Very interesting. Just a little confusing

Substantial

She clears her throat.

“We found her.”

Uh-oh, that's not good. It's never good when everyone treats you like a ghost and then someone announces that they've found you. Because it usually means that you are a ghost.

And that puts Pinkie's immense Pinkie Sense flash in context.

Typos

"There is nothing odd or unusual"

Should be "was" (past tense) and the sentence should indicate about what "there is nothing odd or unusual" (in context I assumed that it was referring to Fluttershy at that previous time).

Substantative:

“Why? Why did she have to die? She was so young!” Rarity is making a scene, wearing an elegant black dress, and crying into a handkerchief.

Not only does Rarity tend toward extreme emotional display, she's also one of Fluttershy's two best friends in canon, so she would.

Rainbow Dash approaches my body, her face completely hidden by the veil of her dress. She whispers to me, “I liked hanging out with you. Goodbye.”

I approve -- Rainbow Dash would never want to get "mushy" in public. She'd keep the veil in place to make sure nopony saw her crying.

Pinkie Pie approaches my body. Below the dress she is wearing, her normally poofy mane is completely flat. She says nothing; instead, she lifts a corner of the veil covering the coffin, and puts three deflated baloons in the middle of the flowers. She stays for a few more moments, and goes back to near Mr. and Mrs. Cake.

Yep, that's a depressed Pinkie. One can tell because she's being serious and quiet.

Major question which I assume will be answered later: How did she die? What caused her death?

Typos:

“Fluttershy, you were a very good friend. You were a beam of light to our lives with your kindness. I'm sad to see you go. Goodbye, Fluttershy.”

Obviously Applejack by style and process of elimination here (Apple Bloom's a child, Big Mac is taciturn) but should get attribution, even something as simple as "Applejack said."

just beautiful. well played fluttershy, well played

3783013 Fluttershy was reincarnated as Spring Egg and Script Letter's daughter.

Of course reading through this, I fell in love with the story, and of course when I check the author it's none other than SilentWanderer. Another great story, I hope to find more like it.

This had an odd atmosphere, I think because of the rather staccato narration style, but it did move me as a character study from an unusual perspective. Not personally a big fan of the very last scene, but I can understand why it's there and it doesn't stop me giving this one a like. :twilightsmile:

Bootiful.
also i dont get the ending.
Did script writer and spring egg had a foal or sumthin'?

6781005

Bootiful.

also i dont get the ending.

Did script writer and spring egg had a foal or sumthin'?

Take note that the whole story is told in first-person perspective.

Yes, they had a foal. And said foal is Fluttershy reborn. The last chapter was originally titled Rebirth.

If you want a longer explanation, I have a Making Of for this story; part six explains the ending.

Big Macintosh says nothing. He is always the quiet one. He only sheds a single tear, and goes back with Applejack and Apple Bloom.

Awww, this was a prime opportunity to pull a Brotherhooves Social and have the quiet reserved character do a monologue.

You were sent here to steal my place.

You know, it's weird. She's bizarrely hostile considering she deals with animal deaths all the time and doesn't consider getting new animals to be "replacing" old ones. Is this just a ghost thing?

And with that, he is gone.

Fluttershy is awful at moving on if that was any indication.

“We are close now. We will get to this clearing, then we will take another path for a bit, and there we should find the medicine that I'm looking for.”

*click*

Wait why didn't Fluttershy just ask Zecora this is a huge plot hole now

I was wrong.

*sarcastic exclamations of shock and awe indicating that I am neither shocked nor awed*

I'm surprised that some readers were fooled, honestly. It's like they've never heard of an unreliable narrator.

As the morning sun rises, I go to their bedroom. I stroke Spring Egg's mane, while she calmly sleeps next to her love. For some reason, I feel a bond with her.

Wait, she could interact with the real world this whole time???

“It's Fluttershy! She's back!”

Pinkie always knows.

It took me sometime to understand that Fluttershy was reborn. 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
Absolute 100/10 story

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