Roseluck has won a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. Will the solitary mare remained rooted in her past or take a chance at growth outside her garden?
Cover Art by Coggler
Chapters (4)
RoseluckyCinor
Joined 22nd Mar, 2012 ·
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Sequels1
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RoseluckyCinor · 11k words · 65 1 · 1.8k views
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First chapter is promising. I'll be here for chapter two. As far as I can tell its pretty straightforward where everypony stands in the story and where things are heading, but its written well enough.
Don't tempt Murphy's law, things go bad fast when you do.
Could you add some space between paragraphs?
3440418
I'll make sure to do that next time. Thanks for the feedback.
The only thing I'm sad about is that this good of a story has so few views.
3488930
Thank you! :3
The vibes I get from RoseLuck are great I love her personality more than any of the background character personalities I've seen before. She seems and is innocent, as well as oblivious to things she should be understanding by her age (if it's near what I think) she has a hard time being in public, she's shy, introvertive, and above all else confused easily.
Lilly's personality... That's a tough one to spot on catch.
Anyways, I love the story and as much as I love the effort I feel from the story it seems a bit... Speed through.
3540062
Personally, I can 100% see where you're coming from. The story does come on a little fast. But if I hadn't watched this same thing 'sort of' happen in real life, I wouldn't have done it.
3540562
It can progress slow or fast, but the presentation is what matters if it's slow, but with little effort then it isn't worth the time you already wasted reading it. If it's fast and you can feel the effort, it's worth your time although it's hard to pull off correctly. You my friend have successfully pulled it off, 1 of 3 I know of .
3541138
Thank you very much for saying that. This is my first romance fic and I'm really scared that it's boring or bad.
3541377
Don't worry about it I'm still looking for my genre.
You suck, go back to grade school you ignoramus!
Nah, I'm just kidding. I think you turned Roseluck into a unique character with a well defined personality, which is more than a lot of authors can say. Other than the mistakes that were small and far apart, I really can't say anything bad about this story.
If you ever want more origanal shipping pairs I have plenty for you.
Spikaloo being one of many.
You have
Spikebloom
SpikeBelle
But no Spikaloo
Saddening.
PinkiexBlues you would attract a few people I know as this pair has TWO stories one is a lunch and the other is a sadder outlook on the subject.
I ranting now but what the hell, you did this COMPLETELY origanal ship fast BUT WELL.
Who's to say you can't get others to be of the same popularity.
I'd like to read about
Daisy and her "Colt-toy" as well in all honesty.
You are momentarily one of the strangest and best shippers I know. And you my friend shall have my full attention and help if you ever require ANY kind of literature advice or editing to be done, hands down no questions asked (except maybe the occasional ask for a link.
3567488
I love you and your words of praise!
I might take you up on your offer of help too!
I have no idea why this has such a paltry amount of likes, it deserves so much more
But no matter, you got my like and I'm happy with that :)
3598888
Thank you.
Very cute lil story. Some of the dialog feels a bit strange and it tends to jump around a bit, but still very cute.
So far the story's promising, and really sweet
I've not read nearly enough Roseluck fics, and there needs to be more of them. I have seen Rose characterised like this before, like she can't be confident if she's not working her magic on her flowers, and I'm looking forward to someone (preferably Lily) bringing her out of her shell a bit
Something is definitely budding here and it sounds like it'll be painful, at least for a while...
I can see how much of the events so far may have offended Rose's sensibilities, having had free stuff thrown at her from all angles. Hard-working mare like her probably knows the value of a bit more than most and can't bear not paying her own way.
The way the first chapter went hinted at this, but only hinted: good job, Lily, it nearly worked!
Beautifully written so far, no cause for complaint :)
This story is up and down a lot. A relationship changing from friendship to love is bound to be full of awkward moments so both ponies are reeling quite a lot. Lily never seems to stay down for all that long though, which is great.
I would have liked a continuation of the that conversation at the beginning. Handled it well though, naughty without an awful lot of detail. Thought Rose was going to turn the colour of her hair for a minute
Looking forward to more. After all, the floodgates have been opened
I didn't expect that maze meeting to happen. Still, there wasn't too much interference. Sometimes it's just good enough to be there while a pony sorts out their thinking...
I thoroughly enjoyed this RoseluckyCinor! So did quite a few others, it seems. The whole thing of messing around an established friendly relationship and expanding it to be something more can be, well, messy but I think you've pulled it off quite well. Hopefully Rose is a bit more confident in future, but she still has plenty of growing to do.
Spending the night is the right thing to do! Cadance would certainly approve.
3634801
Thank you :3
First off, that is ridiculous that this is your first romance fic. If you had not said that this was a first for you I would not have believed it, great job!
Even though I do not care for Lilyrose, I would be a liar if I did not say that this was incredibly cute.
True, there was an error here or there but nothing that made this illegible.
Overall I think that this fic was fantastic! One of the best Roseluck stories in my book.
So far so good.
I really like this and Rose's predicament is very interesting. I really am looking forward to see how she will handle this.
I think the writing is well done, too. Especially the second half. Things were escalating pretty smoothly and slowly until POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER! and then came waves of emotions.
Can't wait to read the rest.
It was awkward, but just enough. That one conversation, I mean.
Kind of reminded me of that one episode of Seinfeld, you did a good enough job hinting at it without actually outright saying it.
The relationship is definitely in some unstable waters as Rose tries to navigate her feelings about Lily and come to terms with herself. Very interesting read. Thank you
For a first try, I think you did pretty good. I did have a little bit of a problem with the Azelia, Azalia, Ezekial? bit as it happens once and doesn't really get mentioned again. It does push Rose along the story, and being in a party setting, these one-time things tend to happen so... yeah. Maybe that is not a writing problem more of "HE IS A CRETIN AND I DON'T LIKE HIM" kind of thing.
Pacing and a few typos aside, I really can't find much to complain about. I think you did very well and I am going to take a look at your sequel next.
Thanks for the story!
I've got two words for you, Love it!
Man! I really had to look to find this, and it's really good.
4245680
Thanks dude!
i.imgur.com/kUtyAM1.jpg
4246015 You're welcome, and honestly it didn't move that fast, I mean these two have known each other for years.
This....Is....Beautiful.