After casting down Discord and imprisoning him in stone, Celestia and Luna become the new rulers of Equestria. Their subjects, however, are fearful of them due to their command over the sun and moon. To prove she and Luna care for Equestria, Celestia begins a campaign of befriending their subjects through acts of love and kindness.
This results in her meeting Solis, a troubled earth pony orphan with pure yellow eyes and whom never had a loving family or friends. Recognizing great potential in the little colt, Celestia adopts Solis for the purpose of raising him to be a third wheel in she and Luna's rule over Equestria. With him under her wing and Equestria's citizens faithful to her and Luna, Celestia is confident that the future of ponykind is a bright one.
Such confidence is broken, however, by Nightmare Moon's rise and subsequent defeat. With her subjects' faith shattered, Celestia's vision of a bright future starts to crumble. It's then that Solis proposes a plan to ensure such a future comes to pass, but at a great cost to them both. The fate of Equestria is in Celestia's hooves and it all boils down to one simple, yet very emotional question.
Can she learn to hate her only child?
Edited by: kyttypony and Aurora-Borealis
Big thanks to them for helping me with Ye Olde speak.
The Pony of Shadows appears in this story, right?
3580611 He already did . . . kinda.
Well, this looks to be off to a good start. Rather intriguing, and I love the way you've presented Luna and Celestia so far.
3583478 Thank you so much.
3583510 No problem!
Great start so far. Looking forward to more.
So you've got a really interesting premise and idea, and so far the actual execution very much makes me want to read more. The character of Solis is quite clever, so I hope to see that continue properly into the promised post-Nightmare events, but given your overall quality so far I hate faith it'll work well.
Now, to sit back and wait for your next chapter! I can't wait to see what will happen next
3589080>>3597607 Unfortunately, it may take a while before chapter 2 gets finished. I've got so much other stuff on my plate which I need to take care of before I can work on it. Rest assured though, it WILL come out and, hopefully, satisfy you fine folks.
3597692 Oh, but if the quality is of the same level then it'll be worth the wait. And I can understand the issues of Other Things taking up your time, I've only just been able to start writing after about a month or more. Good luck clearing it all without much issue!
Good read, looking forward to more. The dialogue choices you made took me a bit to getting traction under my wheels, but once I was in the swing, it was good times.
3620456 Yeah, I imagine trying to read Ye Olde English would be a little difficult at first, but such was needed to keep the story consistent with the show.
Anyway, I'm glad you liked it and look forward to hearing your thoughts on future chapters.
I like the premise of this story. Your OC has a lot of room to grow, so I'm keeping an eye on Solis and company. Upvote, fave and a watch from me.
3628515 Thank you so much.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
3642477 Believe me, I have. The reason why I'm hesitant to do so, at least right now, is because sending them updates for an unfinished story is confusing, to me at least.
That said, I do plan on submitting this story to ED either sooner or later, unfinished or finished. It all depends on what'll give me the least amount of trouble.
But do you really think ED would feature this?
3642749 I really can't say for sure. But I liked it.
3642802 Well, I'm glad you did.
I was meaning to favorite this some time ago, but I forgot and lost it.
Anyway, I really dont read fanfics that much anymore, so I am sorry in saying that I probably won't be reading this. But I do have some advice to help you.
The idea looks interesting, but I can tell you what your first problem is involving people and the will to comment.
Chapter size.
Yes, it is the dumbest reason to not want to read something, but it is true. People don't want to read gigantic chapters unless the narritive has already sucked them in. I am working on a fic and usually write chapter drafts in 10k-20k segments, and so this scares me as well.
To help you out, I suggest you just break them down into smaller sections when it is applicable.
3794409 Thanks for the feedback.
As for your advice, yeah, I can see why people might be turned off by chapter length. I'm not sure why I didn't cut it in half. Oh well, thanks again and good luck with your own endeavors.
Woah.
Cool story.
First up, problems.
I noticed several spelling and grammar errors throughout the story, but I won't list them all here. However, there were two things in particular that got my attention:
For "bringing in the night," this is backwards.
Also, thoughts were done in a very confusing manner. Celestia's were left as regular text, not set apart in any way, while Luna's were given their own paragraphs, bolded, italicized, and put into smaller text. Consistency and simplicity are key, my friend.
With that done, on to praises.
All in all, a well written story. Pretty seamless, with no major, glaring problems in the story itself. I liked the change from Cutie Marks to Souls, which (at least in my opinion) makes them feel much more important. It was also nice to get a feel for what Discord's rule was like. I had to laugh at Tricolt's simile about a court jester inheriting the throne.
Tl;dr: I look forward to more.
Write on,
Legion
3815014
Okay, it's fixed now.
As for that second point, Luna's thoughts are bolded and italicized and shrunk for a good reason. As to the other inconsistencies, I just went with whatever fit the pace and mood/time best. If there's anything you'd like to suggest to help me improve the formatting and/or spelling & grammar, by all means PM me and I'll get cracking on it.
And thanks for the praise. It always feels great to know I've written something which people like to read.
This chapter seems to keep disappearing and reappearing randomly for me. Glad to have finally caught it at a time when I could read the whole thing.
I only really noticed one problem, which was over-and sometimes improper- use of "to which." Granted, I wasn't actively looking for mistakes, but that's all I saw.
Huh, I suppose this is the most efficient way to skip through five years worth of events while still hitting the highlights.
Now I'm wondering if, in this universe, Celestia decision to send Twilight to Ponyville was at all affected by her past experiences with Solis...
Anyway, good job. I await the next chapter.
Write on,
Legion
3942367 Had a little trouble getting it to appear in the Latest Updates list. Eventually I just said 'screw it' and left it up.
Well, this fic is meant to fit into the show's canon, so yeah.
Bitchin spell!
4414075 Indeed it is.
~The lizardman is thankful for your comment
Thats really Saddening. Cant wait for more though!
4472106 I'm working on it even now.
~The lizardman is thankful for your comment as well
Intresting.
This started sad but turned so heartwarming I just Cant express how amazing this story is. Great work as always, and cant wait to see what happens now that Solis is now a alicorn. Thank you so much for gracing us with this story. Best of luck
4709631 Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement. It means the world to me. Truly, it does.
He becomes Chrysalis, doesn't he? (I'm kidding)
Very good story. I look forward to the next chapter!
4714701
Truley you never cease to amaze. Thank you for updating such a magnificent story. i sense a Nightmare.
Again emotions have been felt in great tides. Also this is likely to start something very nightmare-ish. Good job as always!
This has been sitting in the back of my 'read it later' folder for ages. Glad I finally read it. The emotions and intrigue run deep with this one. I anticipate it shall only improve as the story unfolds.
Should be 'or' there.
Anyway, I don't really mind waiting this long for each chapter as long as they keep being this damn good.
Damn.
Will there be a sequel?
Great job, dude. The fact that you kept Solis' ultimate fate ambiguous matches the ponderous nature of the story.
Oh sequel please! Great read.