I am not going to tell you anything.
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Rainbow Dash, the one true master of awesomeness, saves Equestria and.... Do I really have to say more? You gotta know what kind of story this is going to be by now! The title and the tags say it all.
Caution: This is a parody. Do not take it seriously. If you don't like Rainbow Dash, don't read it. If you do it anyway and dislike it, shame on you, because you lack the basic amount of intelligence to understand a joke, nor are able to take a hint.
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ok, this was awesome. nothing else can be said for this except that it was awesome!
3421547
I can't argue with that...
What the hell?! My avatar picture! Is a story image now!? This is so weird!
~SolidFire
3421745
There, I edited that for you
3421745
With your avatar, it was bound to happen sometime. I just gave it an awesome and fitting story.
This is like a more mature version of Kung Fu Panda or something. I love it.
3421893
It is whatever you like to see in it.
I crammed every stupid reference I could think of in the story. Pretty much everyone should be able to recognize something.
...GRAMMAR NAZI TIIIIIIIME
P1
master the over nine thousand ways
Rephrase.
end her nap on a cloud high above Ponyville
Rephrase.
P2
*belief
*slacking off, but
*Rainbow's
P3
*they are = they're
*radiation,
*mindlessly
*and eating,
*a duty she couldn't ignore
P4
*and that for a reason (rephrase)
P5
*Rainbow's
*than knocking them out. (rephrase)
P6
*it wasn't
*necessary,
P7
*leader,
*to do,
P8
*him- like everypony else-
P9
P10
*lawns,
P11
*tortoise, (WORDS WORDS WORDS) better,
*too close
P12
*in Ponyville,
*everything seemed
P13
*nice,
I can't do this any more. My FULL ATTENTION must be directed towards the story.
3421745 HAHA!
3422002
Give me a break... This was pretty much a joke I wrote for my proofreader... though, maybe I should have let him proofread it... naaah... At least he can say now that I'm terrible.
3422109 They're just typos. The story itself was...well...
MOTHER. F**KING. AMAZING!
AGH
SO AWESOME
I CAN'T
IT'S TOO
HNNNNNG
3422194
Glad to hear it.
...i don't know what just happened.....but i liked it.
Dat short description. It is just made entirely of win.
MOST RANDUM THING EVAR!!!!!!
This is... well, I suppose awesome is a pretty good word, hm? It's certainly entertaining, if nothing else. It could have been better I think, but don't forget that I did enjoy reading this.
Now, all potential awesomeness aside I found myself a bit too removed from the story while reading it. many things that could have been further detailed and hence even more awesome are described as if they're as nonchalant and common as simply walking or breathing. This CAN work, but it all becomes a bit of a bore when nothing really challenges Rainbow Dash in any way (see definition of "Mary Sue"). I did like your over-the-top explanations of why Rainbow wears sunglasses and takes naps, those got a chuckle out of me.
Your writing itself is decent, but a bit flawed in grammar and punctuation (I assume your proof-reader usually helps you with that). You have the beginnings of a voice in your writing, and I encourage you to keep practicing with odd things like this to develop it further!
now, here's where I think this could have been even better--it's just my opinion really, but I would have loved to see if, near the end, you revealed this was all actually just in Rainbow's head in one way or another. Maybe this could have been part of an autobiography or a book she was writing, or better yet having spike write, and ended in a comment (perhaps from Spike) on how unrealistic this was. Hell, you could have had Twilight read or hear it! The awkwardness that would result from that would been... well, awesome. that's just the direction I would have taken it in and I won't say it would be better, but it is a suggestion.
Overall it's one of the more entertaining fics I've read in recent time, so jolly good show sir!
Overall rating:
congratulations! you committed 0 of the 7 mortal sins of writing mlp fanfiction!
This comment is brought to you by my new Weekly Watch... thing. If you appreciate my feedback then head on over and give it a look. maybe you'll like what I do.
3469753
Thank you for your comment and I am well aware of my...lack of detail in this story. I have to admit that I wrote it one one day and neither did I rereading it, nor did I send it to my proofreader. The whole thing was more of a joke for my proofreader than anything else.
And yes, this is merely my second piece of entertainment literature ever. I do hope I will improve over time.
Thanks for the constructive critique again.
3469861 You are welcome good sir. ^^ it is my job after all (for now).
I went in with trepidation, I was amused. Then I read the last four lines and burst out laughing...
There is none other like you Battlebread.
This story is awesome.
The word awesome was used so much in this story, I don't think I'll ever be able to use the word again without getting a headache
with great awesomeness comes great responsibility?
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
...That ending.
So many brain cells were lost this day! +1 son!
3603331 I feel you, I feel you...
...real good
That came out wrong.
This was ridiculous. It entertained me anyway though. Have a thumbs up.
Bro, this was cool thanks. I tried. I really did, but the story was so awesome, I lost count of how times the word 'awesome' appeared.
This awesomeness is awesomely exactly how Rainbows awesome tone of voice and awesome internal monologue would sound. I can just imagine this next scene.
"Hey Twilight can you be my proofreader of awesomeness for my autobiography of awesome?" Asked the polychromatic mare.
With a large internal sigh "yeah Dash I can do that."
**SpongeBob time card "two hours later"**
"So was it awesome?"
"Rainbow you never cleared a dragon hoard from the Everfree and you never did a triple vertical rainbow. This is not what an autobiography is..."