Pre-Party
Church and Twilight were sitting downstairs having a light breakfast when they heard a knock on the door. Twilight opened the door to be greeted by a flurry of balloons being launched at her. When the bombardment stopped, she looked up to see Pinkie with an abnormally large grin.
"Twilight!" Pinkie yelled. "Isn't it the most awesomeicious stupenderific thing ever?"
"What are you talking about." Twilight asked.
"It's the Cake twins’ birthday tomorrow!" Pinkie said, giddy with anticipation. "They're turning one year old."
"Oh right." Twilight said. "Then what are you doing here right now? Shouldn't you wait until tomorrow to have the party."
"Haven't you heard of a pre-party party?" Pinkie asked.
Twilight rolled her eyes but smiled.
"It will be a small party if it's just you, me and Church." Twilight said.
"Don't be silly Twi, I brought Caboose." Pinkie said.
"Hello." Caboose said, seemingly appearing from behind Twilight.
"How did you get in?" Twilight asked.
"It's our little secret." Pinkie answered for Caboose.
Church finished eating and left the kitchen to see what was happening.
"Church!" Caboose yelled, running around Church.
"Hey Caboose." Church said, confused. "What are you guys doing here?"
"They want to throw a pre-party party for the twins at the Sugarcube Corner." Twilight said.
"Okay then." Church said. "I've never heard of a pre-party party."
"Neither have I." Caboose said with excitement. "I am so excited I could just keep running."
Caboose kept running in circles around Church until Church got slightly annoyed.
"Caboose. Stop running." Church said.
"Okay." Caboose said, coming to a screeching halt.
"Geez, you're a party pooper." Pinkie said jokingly.
"You can poop parties?" Caboose gasped. "That sounds amaz-"
Church stuffed his hoof in Caboose’s mouth and sighed.
"Is it just going to be the four of us?" Church asked.
"Of course not silly, you're going to get the others with Caboose while me and Twilight set up." Pinkie said.
"I don't remember volunteering for this." Church said.
"Caboose was kind enough to volunteer your time." Pinkie said happily.
"Great." Church said sarcastically. "Thank you Caboose."
"See, I told you he would be happy!" Caboose said.
"Alright, let's make this quick though." Church grunted.
"Okay!" Caboose said, galloping out the door.
Twilight stared at Church and they both shrugged. Church then followed Caboose grudgingly. It took them a couple hours to tell the others, but eventually they all made their way back to the library.
"You're looking better." Simmons said to Grif.
"I feel better." Grif said. "Too bad you still look like shit."
"You're an asshole, you know that." Simmons said.
"Grif, don't disrespect others." Sarge said. "That's my job."
"I learned it from watching you!" Grif said over-dramatically.
The others then started to laugh and they then found themselves in front of the library where the door shot open and Caboose ran inside.
"Hi everypony!" Pinkie said happily. "Are you ready to pre-par-tay?"
"Totally!" Tucker said. "It's been awhile since I've been to a pre-party."
"You're kidding, right?" Church said.
"Fuck no man." Tucker said. "What, you've never been to one?"
Church face hooved as he shook his head.
"I knew you were lame." Tucker laughed.
"Fuck you."
"Sorry, I know you like dudes. But-" Tucker started.
"Tucker how are your balls feeling right now?" Church grunted, tensing his back leg.
Tucker glared at Church then decided to not say anything as they all made their way inside the library.
"So what is this party for exactly?" Simmons said, looking around.
"The Cakes had twins one year ago tomorrow!" Pinkie said.
Sarge squinted at Caboose, who was drawing on a piece of paper.
"So you have babies living in the same building as Caboose?" Sarge asked nervously.
"Well yeah, babies can't live on their own you silly!" Pinkie replied.
"Right." Sarge said, still watching Caboose. "What are you doing Caboose?"
"I am drawing a picture!" Caboose said. "It is hard to grab the crayons though."
"That's because you don't have any fingers." Tucker said.
"Oh my god, they took my hands!" Caboose yelled. "Ohhhhh, never mind, I remember now."
Church let out a deep sigh and glanced at the other stallions.
"I'm surrounded by idiots..." Church thought to himself, but found himself smiling.
"So Church, how are you liking it here?" Rarity asked.
"It's alright I guess." Church said. "How has Simmons been doing?"
"Fantastically." Rarity said happily. "He is a great help around my boutique. I don't think it’s been this organized in months."
"That's... surprising." Church said.
"I hope ya don't mind me askin'." Applejack said. "But why do you guys always seem to be at each others throats?"
"We're not at each others throats." Church said.
"But ya'll are always yellin' at each other..." Applejack said.
"Some things are just hard wired." Church said, without realizing the slight irony of his statement.
"Look Church, I made a picture of us!" Caboose yelled.
Caboose ran up to Church, holding a piece of paper in his teeth. There were two crudely drawn stick horses, one being blue and the other being light blue. Church looked at it and smiled awkwardly.
"Uh, thanks Caboose." Church said, grabbing it from him. "It looks... good?"
"Thank you Church! Hey wait, what if my special talent is drawing?" Caboose said looking at his blank flank.
"I don't know Caboose." Tucker said sarcastically. "I think eating crayons would be more your speed."
"Hey, yeah! I've always wondered what they tasted like!" Caboose said.
Caboose then ran to one of the crayons and tossed it in his mouth and bit it before anypony could stop him. He promptly spat it out and ran to the punch bowl and grabbed a drink. He then looked at his flank and frowned.
"Nope, that's not it." Caboose said. "They taste pretty bad."
"Maybe it’s being an idiot." Tucker said. "You seem to be pretty good at that."
"Maybe yours is being hit in the balls." Church said to Tucker. "You seem to be pretty good at that."
"Alright everypony, just settle down." Twilight said.
"Yeah, let's get this party started!" Pinkie yelled, slamming her hoof on the boombox which started playing music.
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......Please let tuckers talent be Being kicked in the balls...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEAAAAAASE
351570
If his special talent was getting hit in the balls he would have gotten it long ago
351580....Maybe they arnt kicking hard enough.....LOAD THE PARTY CANNON WITH A BOOT AND FIRE IT AT TUCKERS GROIN!!!
351590
Luckily Pinkie has boots stashed all over Ponyville in case of boots shortage emergencies
Oh god, the comedy in this chapter is causing me not to be able to breathe!
Celestia help the group if Caboose goes ballistic around Pumpkin and Pound
351650
That was only when he was affected by omega in the first season of red vs blue. Caboose is more likely to get real nervous and act smart.....one would hope. Also I can see where Caboose and Pinkie could end up having a little foul and name it Surprise.
352310
... 
... 
... 
MY MIND!
352310
Actually in Season 3 episode 2 (Episode 40) it is shown that O'Malley 'taught Caboose how to get angry' even though that O'Malley was no longer in his head he can get, well, evil.
Here is the ep - Visiting Old Friends
352321
MY MIND
352326>>352321
Now I mentally
crash everyone's mind with that image.
I totally forgot that episode Darkwing
I feel so lucky to get not one, but TWO great chapters from you on my birthday.So thank you very much for giving me a great birthday present. You have been doing a really great job and I love every single update I see! Cheers!
352476
Well I wish you had a glorious date of birth good sir
352484
Indeed I did and I wish that you had a good day as well.
keep being classy yo.
Just so you know, that is my favorite episode. Ever. Of all time. I half expected Caboose drawing exploding babies to deal with his anger though :P
352824
Or time travel. I can just imagine a scenario where Twilight and Church end up time traveling.
It's a good thing Tex, Meta, and Sister aren't there. Meta would go on a rampage and kill everything, Tex would probably end up killing everyone over time, and Sister would be having flings with everything is sight.
353785
Oh god SisterxMac
353917 LOL SisterxMac... and Tucker, and Church, and Simmons, and Doctor Whooves, and Sarge, and Iron Will, and Flim and Flam, and Discord, and... Caboose? I'm not sure if he would know what was going on. It would be quite a sight indeed
is the secret fourth wall breakage?
Oh! Oh! I know this game! Spy is so fun. Codenames are cool.
Please inform me if you ever make this into an audio drama. I give a leg to voice Caboose given how well you've characterized him.
Do you know how hard is it to read it with Poker Face?
Especially the comments section!
So Applejack doesn't get the idea of tough love? Or is she just having aesop amnesia for plot convenience?
I'm starting to question the pinkie caboose thing, pinkies silly and random but she's not an idiot, but caboose is , um.... Caboose
"Nope, that's not it." Caboose said. "They taste pretty bad."
"Maybe it’s being an idiot." Tucker said. "You seem to be pretty good at that."
"Maybe yours is being hit in the balls." Church said to Tucker. "You seem to be pretty good at that."
god, I can't stop laughing!
351650 My name is Michael J. Caboose and I. EAT. BABYS!
Keep up the great work! This chapter made me laugh SO hard!
x ∞
Just reading this makes me miss donut
1264996 DONUT, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *sip of water* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... you get the idea.
1264996
Only enough room for...how many idiots?.....When someone tries to buy a flag.......*ahem*
766839
Caboose isn't an idiot...He's just....Ca...no wait it's been done...Caboose just never thinks.....The random crazy ones are always the smartest ones, they just don't bother thinking...xD than again he might be a idiot...
Anyone else think that Haley is Sister?
Also I think that everyone can agree that this fanfic deserves a
2245801 remember the caboose in cabooses mind. back when they were trying to get rid of O'malley or however its spelt.
Wait a second, Caboose appearing out of nowhere, Pinkie saying its their little secret.... Oh no, no, NO, NO! CABOOSE HAS LEARNED HOW TO BREAK THE LAWS OF PHYSICS! THE END IS NIGH!
You think the guys would have little parties of their own. Church is alive, Simmons is no longer a cyborg with a fear of girls, Griff no longer has Simmons anatomy and orders to follow, Caboose is making friends, Tucker is making progress with a girl, Church has had time to clear his head, and Sarge...um...
4752525 Nope. Sarge has not changed at all. He still hates Grif's guts.
I havent caught up in the show that much but.... Where the hell is doughnut?
5223182 He's still in valhalla with doc. This takes place around season nine.
I think Tucker will need a sensu bean for that one...
...OH GOD NO!!! PINKIE HAS TAUGHT CABOOSE FOURTH WALL POWERS!!!!!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!!!!
6804713 no it is woers pinke and caboose have broken the 4.5 wall ... let us hope they never find the mirror pull
7479052
The mirror pull?
Don’t you mean pool