Chapter 20 - "Stairs"
"Easy there Dash." Tucker said hastily as Rainbow Dash brought him close to the ground.
"Your wings better heal quick, because I don't like the idea of always having to carry you." Rainbow Dash muttered as she dropped him, watching as he barely managed to land on his hooves.
"I'm sure your opinion on that will change later." Tucker said, laughing.
"In your dreams." Rainbow Dash said. "C'mon, let's go try and find the others."
"You make me feel as if you don't want to be alone with me." Tucker said. "But I know you do. Nobody can resist Dr. Love for long."
"Have your balls healed yet?" Rainbow Dash asked, bending over and started putting on a fake, seductive demeanor.
"Yeah, they totally work now." Tucker said, excitedly walking up behind her.
"Good."
Rainbow Dash then kicked Tucker in the balls and started to walk away.
"Oh fuckberries." Tucker groaned. "My fuck berries!"
"I warned you not to say anything. Now let's go before you dig yourself into an even deeper hole."
"I-I don't think I can walk." Tucker said. "Can you carry me?"
"No." Rainbow Dash said, still walking.
"Ah well. You can't blame a guy from trying." Tucker said.
Tucker then stood up, holding his manhood and started limping after Rainbow Dash. It took them several minutes to get to the market, mostly due to the fact that Tucker kept falling to the ground moaning. But when they got there, they spotted Applejack among the crowd.
"Hey, there’s some of them now." Rainbow Dash said.
"Fantastic." Tucker moaned.
"Hey! There's Rainbow Dash." Pinkie exclaimed. "Rainbow Dash! We're over here."
"Hey Pinkie." Rainbow Dash said, walking up to them. "What are you guys doing?"
"What's wrong with Tucker?" Caboose asked.
Rainbow Dash turned and looked at Tucker, raising her eyebrow.
"I fell down some stairs." Tucker said quietly.
"I hate when that happens." Caboose said. "I was thinking about getting one of those magic chairs that move up and down the side of the steps."
"No, I think I've done enough falling for now." Tucker said.
"Glad to hear it." Rainbow Dash said.
Sarge looked at Tucker and started laughing. "What's so funny?" Tucker asked.
"You didn't fall down stairs, did you Tucker?" Sarge asked, still laughing.
Tucker didn't answer, he just glanced at Rainbow Dash, which made Sarge laugh even harder.
"I think I'm liking her already." Sarge said, wiping a tear out of his eye.
"Want to know what? Fuck you Sarge." Tucker grunted.
"I'm willing to bet that that was an ironic choice of words there blue." Sarge said with a smirk.
"Calm down you two." Applejack said, walking between Sarge and Tucker, expecting a fight.
"Don't worry, I'm calm." Sarge assured her. "And I'm willing to bet that Tucker doesn't have much fight left in him at the moment."
"You got that right." Tucker said.
"What are you two tal-" Applejack started to ask.
Sarge just smiled and motioned his head to Tucker. Applejack looked at Tucker, who was cradling his crotch. Then she looked at Rainbow Dash who was glaring at Tucker. Applejack started to laugh.
"Why are you laughing?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"You don't want to know." Sarge said.
"Come on y'all. Let's go find the others." Applejack said.
"Okay!" Caboose yelled.
"Let's go check on Grif, I need to make sure I didn't hurt him." Sarge said. "Too much."
"Alright, Fluttershy’s place it is." Pinkie Pie said, starting towards the cottage.
It took just a couple minutes to make it there. Tucker started to feel a little better along the way and stopped groping himself. Applejack knocked on the door and Fluttershy answered.
"Hello Applejack." Fluttershy said, letting her in. "Oh, you brought everyone else?"
Pinkie, Caboose, Sarge and Big Mac walked into the room
"Everyone else?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Well, Twilight and Rarity are here with Church and Simmons."
Sarge looked over at Grif, and Grif glared back at Sarge.
"Nice to see you too soldier." Sarge chirped happily. "Feeling better?"
"Not particularly." Grif muttered, then looked around. "This room is fucking crowded."
"He has a point." Rainbow Dash said. "How about the guys stay in here and we go outside for a little privacy, I need to talk to you girls anyways."
"Oh alright." Twilight said.
The ponies then left the room, leaving Big Mac and the other stallions in the room.
"Who is the big guy?" Church asked.
"This is Big Mac." Sarge said. "He works on the farm with Applejack."
"He is tall and red." Caboose said.
"Yes Caboose, we can see that." Church muttered.
Tucker stood there awkwardly, trying to get in a comfortable position. "What's wrong with Tucker?" Simmons asked.
"I don't want to talk about it." Tucker muttered.
"Rainbow Dash kicked him in the balls." Sarge said, barely containing his laughter.
The others looked over at Tucker, who then gave an ashamed nod. They all started laughing. All of them but Tucker.
"I hate you guys." Tucker said.
"What the fuck did you do to her?" Grif asked, now sitting up on the couch.
"I sort of... maybe... walked in on her in the shower." Tucker said.
"Was she naked?" Caboose asked.
"They're always naked you fucking idiot." Tucker responded.
"Oh my gosh you're right." Caboose gasped. "Hey Tucker! You said I would never see a girl naked!"
"Caboose. Be quiet." Church commanded.
"Okay."
"Why did you go in the room?" Simmons asked. "Because if you didn't know she was in there then that’s not that bad."
"I knew she was in there." Tucker said.
"You're a fucking pervert." Church said.
"No dude, I knew she was in there, but I had left the room when she started so when I came back to the room I didn't hear anything." Tucker said. "I thought she was done."
"So you thought that the best idea was to barge in?" Church asked.
"I don't know!" Tucker said. "I wasn't thinking, you have to believe me!"
"Don't worry Tucker, we know that you don’t think." Grif said, laughing.
"Thank you." Tucker said, then glared at Grif. "Screw you Grif."
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Deleted the comments on this chapter because I changed the ending
Okie dokie! That was fun, tucker...domestic abuse. Same thing right?
One of these days, RD won't be able to resist "Dr. Love".
And that day is coming closer and closer, I believe.
29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lltzgnHi5F1qzib3wo1_400.jpg
Not bad at all, Tucker.
Tucker will eventually win. I know it.
Woah random 13 dislikes overnight how did that happen
315486 will Tex be making an appearance in this?
315585
later on yes
I hope Tucker keeps getting kicked in the balls, it's hilarious!
315486
That's just people that can't appreciate the comedic gold of shipping RvB with the Mane 6.
315778
Well OBVIOUSLY
Just wish they left a comment saying why they did not like it, then I would not care. It is not knowing which is the bad part
291550
................ Aaaaaaaand thats how Discord was made
YAY I don't know how but the dislikes reverted back to 2. Must have been a glitch or something...
I was wondering why it suddenly got read 13 votes in such a small amount of time.
But still if you guys find yourself not enjoying a certain part of the story tell me, I love constructive criticism.
"Oh fuckberries." Tucker groaned. "My fuck berries!"
I can't believe anyone else remembered that line
"Aw fuckberrries."
season 4?
i know your pain tucker... from tree branch to being sacked by a pony... for different reason of course
"Oh fuckberries." Tucker groaned. "My fuck berries!"
XD Oh man, talk about perfect timing! XD Guess what episode and part I was watching when Dash kicked him? Season 9, episode ten, right when Tex nudged the concrete thingy just a little so that Grif would land on it! xD
I absolutely love this so far. This is as funny as the good old series of Red vs. Blue, the classic stuff- not that all the "Project Freelancer" stuff is bad, but it's just not the same.. anyway, this is just as funny as I've come to expect from RVB, and it's even got a lot of the qualities I see in MLP. I'm not going to say this is helping bridge the gap between season 2 and 3 of MLP, or 9 and 10 of RVB, because that feels like it would be passing this story off as nothing more than something to pass the time. Honestly, this is the most I've actually smiled and laughed at a story in a long time- and it's quite impressive at 95 chapters, if I may say so myself.
Oh my god... Rainbow is blue and a proxy Tex and BigMac is red and a proxy Lopez (he don't say much)
Best Tucker lines I've heard in a long time. I'm telling you, dude: You've got their characters down pat.
I can't believe how well you make everyone mesh so well together. And you've incorporated past running gags/themes very well.
In hindsight, turning them into ponies was THE BEST thing you could've done for the story, it resolves so many akwardities of human/pony stories very neatly.
I am glad! You used fuckberries!
how...how does a pony cradle his crotch? that doesn't seem physically possible. Which is ironicly a RvB reverence when I didn't realise until I reached this sentence
"Hey Tucker! You said would never see a girl naked!"
Lost my shit so hard!
God! I can't stop laughing!
Also a random thought came to me when Dash kicked Tucker. Well Tucker, you enjoying having blue berrys?
(Kill me if you want due to the puns but hell)
315032That supposed to be dumb as a rock obummer?
"I fell down some stairs." reminds me of DBZ abridged
If the only way I met Dash was to be struck in the nuts, I could live with that.
rd wont be able to resist soon enought
...wassant it griff who got kicked, punched and almost blown to bits by a guided rocked lounger in the manhood?
i think that griff and tukker swapped beatings... tukker is blue now is he? i guess that tex really bead the black rite of off him
This story is awsome here take this
google.ca/imgres?q=badass+seal+of+approval&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1366&bih=599&tbm=isch&tbnid=_aM-0TgjMKPK8M:&imgrefurl=http://angryjoeshow.com/2010/04/angry-game-review-just-cause-2/&docid=gMdQ_-yxXQFgiM&imgurl=http://angryjoeshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/BadAss_AJS_flat_KablooieXL.png&w=316&h=316&ei=iiNdUOTUNMfJiQKx74GYCA&zoom=1&iact=hc&dur=2787&sig=102066261411344705809&page=1&tbnh=117&tbnw=117&start=0&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:71&tx=148&ty=138&vpx=104&vpy=120&hovh=225&hovw=225 i hope this worked
FUCK BERRIES hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah... ew
595019 Dammit I wanted to say that!
756067 Haha...blueberries
As much as the Reds and Blues have interacted a lot and worked together in the past, I feel that they haven't been trying to kill each other enough.
Also, Sarge would never worry about whether or not he'd hurt Grif, I don't think, anyway. After all, he invented Grifball, and Grifshot, which is where you shoot a sniper rifle at Grif while he's up on a cliff acting like a carnival duck.
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
I suspect (thanks to the chapter names at the end) they will dash get married to the pony they are stationed with besides Church that is.
Oh the LOLZ of this chapter!!! You have all of the rvb characters down pat and it is bucking hilarious!!!
2258642 agreed, only instead of grif being neutered, it's tucker.
Tucker...
As a fellow male, I proclaim that you are a total fucking moron. And I feel for you.
1316352 Nope
DASH DON'T EVER EVER DO THAT TO A MAN EVER! MY GOD DUDE YOU GOOD
I think Dash could be really good for Tucker.
944265
It IS DBZ abridged
"Hey vageta what happened to you?"
"He fell down some stairs."
"I fell down some stairs."
At this point in the story, i predict that Tucker's overall experience in Equestria, will be at least 70% like the following YouTube video.
not sure how things will turn out (cause i haven't finished reading the story yet), so no spoilers please.
P.S. renegade for life
Just that quote, and i knew tucker fell down stairs.
5921293 I CANT BREATHE HALLLP!
1314129
T-...Tukker? I-my head hurts now.
Hey Arcadia, Spoiler...
Tucker gets kicked in the dick some more.