Non-Mutual Feelings
"How's AJ doin'?" Granny Smith asked, coming out of the kitchen with a chef's hat on.
"Don't know yet." Sarge shrugged as he sat at the table, alert to anything that might happen. "Big Mac's up there right now, so we should know in a minute or so."
"That's good." Granny Smith said as she looked in a mirror, and frowned slightly as the chef's hat fell off her head. "Confounded thing."
"What are you making in there?" Sarge asked, peeking to look around the door.
"You'll find out when it's done." Granny Smith said playfully. "Say, do ya happen t' know where Applebloom is, do ya?"
"She should still be in her and her friends little clubhouse with Simmons."
"Simmons is th' one you're always sayin' is so helpful, right?" Granny smith asked, to which Sarge replied with a single nod. "Then why haven't we seen him on th' farm helpin' out?"
"He's not one for super physical labor. He mostly just organizes things and makes sure everything's in working order."
"Ah, so he's a nerd!" Granny Smith chortled.
Sarge couldn't help but chuckle, not expecting Granny Smith to say something like that.
"Ah well, Celestia knows Equestria needs smart ponies just as much as it needs heavy lifters." Granny Smith said dismissively, when she heard the whistling of the pot in the kitchen. "That's mah cue."
"Don't let me keep you..."
Granny Smith nodded and immediately left for the kitchen. Sarge gazed around the room, trying to think of something for him to do, when he heard the sound of hooves hitting the wooden steps.
"She alright up there?" Sarge asked nonchallantly.
"Ah would say so." Applejack smirked, coming down the steps.
Applejack wobbled slightly once she reached the bottom, so Big Mac reached out to stabilize her.
"Ah'm fine." Applejack assured him. "Legs are still just a lil stiff, that's all."
"Probably because you were being lazy and took two years to get out of the damn bed." Sarge said mockingly.
"Yer a regular comedian." Applejack said as she reached for her hat, but could only feel her mane. She grunted when she realized she had forgotten it and turned to walk back to her room to retrieve it. "Oh fer..."
"Ah'll go get it." Big Mac said quietly. "You just take a rest here, we're still not sure ya'll are entirely good."
"Thanks." Applejack nodded, as Big Mac turned to go back up to her room. She turned with a smile and sat at the table with Sarge. "So this is what ya'll have been doin' while I was bedridden? Sittin' around like a layabout?"
"Staying alert. You never know when the Blues might attack." Sarge chuckled dryly, quickly adopting a more serious expression. "Glad to see you're up and at 'em. Almost thought Gary put you out of commission when he went inside you like that."
"It'll take more than one of 'em to keep me down." Applejack smirked, but it quickly fell the more she thought on. "Where's-"
"With Simmons and her friends."
"Really, what's Simmons doin' there?"
"Making a list of things for them to do to get their marks. I feel bad for them. Knowing Simmons he'll probably have given them two thousand eight hundred and seventy two things to do by now." Sarge chuckled to himself.
"Ya really think he can cook up over two thousand things for th' girls to do?"
"There is no doubt in my mind. And he's probably not even half way done."
"Don't ya think you're over exaggeratin' this a bit?" Applejack asked with a grin.
"You don't know what that kids capable of." Sarge said seriously.
The pair then fell silent while they waited for Big Mac to return.
"Hey, Sarge?" Applejack asked after a few minutes.
"What?" Sarge grunted.
"Ah didn't tell Twilight this, but there was somethin'... unnervin' about me bein' possessed, ah guess..."
"What do you mean unnerving?"
"It's just that ah felt as if ah was in control, but ah still couldn't do anythin'."
"I'm pretty sure you told Twilight that." Sarge said bemusedly.
"Nah, it's not just that. There's more." Applejack shook her head. "If nobody told me Gary was inside me, ah would have just thought ah went crazy. It's hard t' find th' right words though..."
"I kind of know how you feel." Sarge nodded. "When O'Malley was in me a couple years back, I thought it felt strange too, but at the same time it almost felt natural."
Sarge turned to see Big Mac holding Applejack's hat. His face was blanched and he stared at Sarge with a look of confusion.
"What's wrong with you?" Sarge asked curiously.
Big Mac shook his head, not wanting to say anything, so instead he walked up to Applejack, placed her hat on her head, and slowly began walking backwards up the stairs.
"Big Mac's not sick too, is he?"
"Ah don't think so." Applejack grunted, remembering how he had backed away when Twilight was talking to her. Her eyes shot wide and she couldn't help hide a coy grin. "Nevermind. Ah just got it. Ah think Macintosh has misunderstood us a tad bit when we were talkin' 'bout Gary and O'Malley."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well..." Applejack said hesitantly, checking to make sure neither Applebloom nor Granny Smith were in the room. "Let's just say that Big Mac may think we were ridin' the hay stacks with 'em."
"Uh-huh." Sarge muttered confusedly. "I didn't know I was talking to Lopez."
"Uh, Big Mac thinks they were givin' us the business?" Applejack said questioningly.
"I think I'm missing something here..."
"Grindin' the rind?"
Sarge opened his mouth to answer, thinking he understood what she was saying. He then hesitated, shut his mouth and shook his head.
"Oh for Celestia's sake." Applejack groaned. She quickly leaned towards Sarge and whispered it into his hear.
"Thank god Donut wasn't here to hear that." Sarge shuddered in disgust.
"Ah'll set him straight later." Applejack said quietly, but began to smile sickly. "Fer now, Big Mac'll see ya in a whole new light. Or should ah say hole, if ya catch mah meanin'."
"Don't go Donut on me now." Sarge grunted with a mix of freight and annoyance.
"Sorry." Applejack snickered.
Sarge opened his mouth to change the subject, when there was a knock on the front door.
"Who's there?" Applejack asked loudly.
"It's Grif." Grif called back.
"Quick, pretend we're not here." Sarge said quietly, hopping off the chair.
"Ah think he already knows we're here." Applejack grunted. She turned back to the door and cleared her throat. "C'mon in."
Sarge grunted unintelligibly as Fluttershy entered the main room with Grif.
"You're okay!" Fluttershy exclaimed happily. "I was beginning to get worried. I meant to come over sooner, but-"
"Ah know, no need t' apologize. Sarge and Big Mac have been tryin' real hard to make sure ah come back on top." Applejack said with a grin. "What brings ya'll down here?"
"We just wanted to know if you would be able to go out to dinner with the others." Fluttershy said sweetly, looking at Sarge who was avoiding looking at Grif.
"Oh? What's th' occasion?" Applejack asked.
"We decided that since Tex is doing so well-"
"I wouldn't go as far as to say she's doing so well..." Grif said quietly.
"Since she's trying to make friends, we decided we would all show her that we support her."
"Ah think that sounds good." Applejack nodded slowly. She looked over to Sarge and coughed politely, asking for his attention. "What about you Sarge?"
"Do I have to?" Sarge mumbled.
"No, but ah'd like to eat with mah friends seein' as ah just got better." Applejack said quietly.
"Fine. But I won't enjoy it."
"C'mon, don't be like that." Applejack said pleasingly.
"But that means I'll have to spend time with Grif." Sarge shivered fearfully. "And that's something I can't bring myself to like."
"Then we're in the same boat seeing as Tex is going to be there." Grif said half jokingly.
"Since Grif isn't going to enjoy it, I guess I have to." Sarge said quickly, walking towards the stairs. "I'll go see if Big Mac wants to come too."
"Somethin' tells me he won't wanna eat with us fer a while." Applejack said smugly.
"What happened?" Grif asked curiously.
"Don't tell him." Sarge warned Applejack hastily.
Applejack rolled her eyes and quietly told Grif and Fluttershy what happened.
"Seriously?" Grif asked as he burst out with laughter when he saw Sarge glaring at Applejack. "Oh, well done! Funniest thing I've heard all day! If Donut was here to hear that..."
"Y'know, maybe if I ask Tex nicely she'll let me watch as she pounds you into the dirt. That way I get to see you in pain and I won't have to do anything. A double whammy."
"Is that what O'Malley called it when he was inside you?" Grif cooed, to which he received a swift kick to the jaw.
"Go get Simmons." Sarge mumbled as he trudged up the stairs.
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Thank God Donut wasn't here for that scene!
Also, Darkwing, I know I really don't have the right to say this, but could you maybe try to post chapters a little earlier? I have band camp the next 2 weeks.
I see that you're going to make the "inside me" thing a running joke...please continue, I love mac's reactions to it.
That is all
955795
This one time at band camp...
Oh the double whammy. Pssh that's nothing compared to THE DOUBLE DEUCE!
This chapter...
Would it be possible to somehow bring Donut back? please i miss him!
Big Macintosh just chooses the absolute worst times to walk into the room. It's horrible and brilliant at the same time!
I wish Donut was there. "I know it was Tuesday because that's the day I was my underwear, and since I don't like to let my armor touch my bare skin, on the account of I chafe really easily, I remember thinking, 'Where can I hang out with no pants on?'."
Hey, now you have to bring a new past charecter into this. Either Washington, donut, Doc(so O'mailey can repossess him), Lopez or Tucker's alien son. Washington would make the most sense but donut would be hillarious. Or alpha church to confuse the hell out of everyone except for epsilon church. Idk but there needs to be someone new. Please
Oh and heads up, theta is the alpha's childlike personality.
I think Grif's biting off more than he can chew with pissing off Sarge and Tex on the same day
Dear god I laughed my ass off when AJ finally got why Big Mac was reacting the way he was, and honestly... I kinda wish Donut WAS there to hear that.
Don't let Big Mac find out what they ment by 'inside them' until he beats Gary three quarters to death.
955836 Not many people stay properly dead in RvB. Heck, I wouldn't even be too surprised if Carolina ended up coming back somehow. I'm pretty sure Donut will come back if/when the situation is funny enough for it.
The only one I hope won't show up is Griff's sister. She was just plain annyoing.
Oh man, I've changed my mind. Sister vs Rainbow Dash, it must be done!
We need Tucker for these kinds of situations.
Bwahahahaha!
Damn funny chapter......ehehehe.....Poor Sarge XD
955812 ...there was a massive orgy and all the girls got their ego prego.
"Almost thought Gary put you out of commission when he went inside you like that."
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955917
Bee tee dubs..... Carolina is alive...
i can't stop laughing! keep up the good work and please try ad find a way to bring back donuts
956022 Wait, when did she come back to life?
956002 This orgy went on for several months prompting it to be place on CNN...
i was about to go to sleep my roommate was asleep and i read this and now everyone is up and i'm having trouble breathing
and now i miss donut
956104 ...and then god got bored and blew up the universe. The End...
...OR IS IT!? DUN DUN DUUUNNNNNNNN!
i'm still waiting for the a certain character to show up.
he's the best freelancer,
ever,
of all time.
I called it in the last chapter that grif will get hurt
i miss donut
956133 Pinkie Pie was the only thing left and she used her fourth wall breaking abilities to recreate the universe starting with the orgy...
Oh gawd did I just make Pinkie God?
956154 If that sentence were true the the sentence would say "Oh Pinkie Pie did I just make Pinkie Pie Pinkie Pie?" So........yeah...
956175hmmm... inception. That is all.
"He's not one for super physical labor. He mostly just organizes things and makes sure everything's in working order."
"Ah, so he's a nerd!" Granny Smith chortled.
XD
Some ponies say the best stuff...
Big Mac, you silly pony.
Darkwing why did we not hear anything from tucker. Shouldn't he yell from across ponyville "bow chic a bow wow"?
Poor Big Mac
956183
To think that these comments started about band camp.
Same issue for me. My band camp schedule is not pretty.
955795You know what they say, what happens at band camp...
Lol jk
956066
Just realized, you were talking about the fic, not the actual series... Carry on then...
Dirty minds:
Scarring people since forever.
Why has Tucker not run into the room when they say "inside me", say Bow-chik-a-bow-wow, then run out?
Oh God this chapter is priceless
It's good... but... NEEDS MORE CABOOSE!
t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcToLEEJCmZb-mAcq_ySrSG4MzScK5-H_hww1d1EfLIcwWuEpjhk_h18hH8f
957444 agreed. He is the namesake.
GOT AN AWKWARD SITUATION? JUST ADD DONUT TO MAKE IT FUCKING HILARIOUS
No, really. Add donut to this story right the fuck now.
Where's Wash?
I mean really, where the hell is Wash?
If I remember right, I think Donut is alive. I think at the end of the season where he was "killed" some kind of protocol activated in his armor as well as other armors and he got up just fine and complained about there being blood on his shoes.
PLEASE INCLUDE LOPEZ AND DONUT :c. I know they're dead and they've been so for a while but they're awesome and would fit in this perfectly
956308
Agreed. Whenever an innuendo occurs, it should briefly cut to Tucker saying that.
956002>>956104>>956133
You guys obviously have never experienced an actual "One time at Band Camp" story. Like the one time 2 guys went running shirtless in the rain. To try and beat the heat. Thus we had the "Running in the rain incedent". And don't get me started on some of my brother's earlier season's.
Things that need to happen in this fic:
1. Big Mac beating up Gary
2. Shipping
3. One or more of the following Characters entering the story: Donut
Wash
Junior
Meta
Shiela/Phyllis
4. More Bow Chicka Bow Wow
any of these will make the fic so much funnier and therefore better. NOW GET IT DONE!!!
960081
) just to say it is pointless, and imo unfunny. As a great proffessor once said:
Things that need to happen:
1. People should stop telling me to add "x". I've already clarified which characters I'm adding, and adding them in now is unnecessary seeing as I still have five other characters lined up for coming in (the other AIs). It's actually starting to annoy me and I'm going to start deleting comments asking for characters. I think about half the comments for the past 10 chapters have been asking me if I'm going to add a character, which I have stated literally a dozen times that I am going to, just not now. And if people keep commenting about me adding characters, I might just not add them at all. It's seriously getting that annoying.
(Sorry, it really is just getting annoying how when I have 50 notifications in the morning, 30 of them are "Add X")
2. Fun Fact: Tucker only ever says Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow in one episode per season. I don't want to overuse it, so having him suddenly appear out of nowhere (seeing as he and Dash are at the library at this point in time, so he wouldn't be able to hear this from that distance. He only has great sight, not great hearing
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(Sorry if I come off as a douche/asshole in this comment, but try to understand just how damn annoying it is to only see that comment on every damn chapter.
)