A Twist in the Tail
Minisode 1 - Ships in the Night
“Midnight!” called Twilight, hammering on the bathroom door with one of her hooves, “Midnight Shadow! You come out right now!”
“No! I’m never coming out! I’m... hideous! I’m... everyone will see!” Midnight wailed from behind the door.
“I said I was sorry!” urged Twilight, ceasing her knocking for a few moments.
“You’re not! You’re not sorry!”
“I didn’t mean to actually get you with it..." said Twilight, turning her head and looking at the floor.
“You got me on the flank! Right on the flank!” came the plaintive cry from behind the door.
“So you’re a filly for... a while... you’re a big... uh... pony, you can take it. I mean look, I’m a filly!”
“But... you’re supposed to be!”
“Nopony will care, now will you come out here!”
“No! I’m going to stay in here until it wears off!”
“Ugh! Fine! Spike, I’m going out! Don’t wait up!”
The purple baby dragon peered out from beneath his blankie. Long ago he’d learned to hide when one of these rows started up. He wrapped it around himself tighter and fumed. It should have been games night, but now? Midnight was sulking in the bathroom, Twilight was out sulking around Ponyville and Spike was down a sparring partner. Trust Twilight to make an R63 potion that versatile that it worked on either sex pony. Efficient to a fault. Spike curled up, this would probably be a long wait.
Midnight sniffed, wiping away a tear and blowing her locks out of her eyes as she peered into the mirror. She... didn’t look too bad, really. Kind of cute, she supposed. “I mean... I’d date me, if I were... not me... I guess.”
Midnight hung her head, “That doesn’t even make any sense,” she said, looking back up into the mirror, “and now you’re talking to yourself. Argh I’m so... angry! Ruddy Twilight... humph. I’m so mad I could... I could... I’m so mad I could use an entire bottle of her favourite shampoo. Yeah. And her bubble bath..."
Soon after, there was the pleasant rushing sound of water entering a bathtub and the clatter of doors being opened and slammed shut and of bottles being placed around the plush facilities.
“Oh, hello, what do we have here? Twilight’s special toy, huh? Well, well, well... I’ll be having some fun with that I think.”
Twilight eased the door to the library open apprehensively, peering about. Silence. That was either very good, or very bad.
“Helloooo?” she called, “Anyone in?”
“Twilight?” answered Spike with a yawn as he stumbled out of the bedroom, still wrapped in his blue blankie.
Spike stretched and hunched himself into the comforter, “He’s... she’s still in the bathroom. She was bad enough before, now I think she’s worse than you!”
Twilight snorted and double-timed it up the stairs, stopping outside the bathroom, “Midnight? Are you still mad?” she called
Inside were strange noises. Grunting, huffing, panting. Twilight put her ear to the door, “Midnight? What are you doing?”
“Oh... almost... oh... that’s it... why won’t it... fit..." Midnight called, breathlessly
“Just a bit more... just a bit more... oh yes, like that... oh it’s so big! I... I can’t fit it all in!”
“Are you..? What are you..? Midnight!” shouted Twilight, stamping a hoof.
“It’s so slippery and rubbery... oh no... oh it’s stuck, I’ll have to... ease it out... oh yes, that’s right, now back in... turn it... unf... unf..."
“Oh. My. Celestia, you are! Stop it! Stop it at once! You’ll... you fiend! I’m coming in!”
There was a triumphant grunt and moan and the squeak of something rubbery and Midnight cried out, “Oh yes!”
Twilight unlocked the door with her magic and burst in, almost afraid to look. The dark blue unicorn mare with the sunset-coloured mane and tail was bent over the side of the bathtub, tail and hooves akimbo, as she reached down behind the bathtub to fish out a yellow rubber duck. She looked up in shock as Twilight burst in, “I’m sorry! I... was playing with your rubber ducky and he got... stuck behind the bathtub! I couldn’t reach and..."
“You... couldn’t get the duck out?”
“Eeenope. Got him now tho!”
Twilight sniffed in displeasure, “You were playing with Ducky? ... and is that my entire collection of ‘suds of delight’ I smell? YOU USED MY ENTIRE COLLECTION OF ‘SUDS OF DELIGHT’! I’M GOING TO TURN YOU INTO UPHOLSTERY!”
Midnight winced and sank into the bathtub almost up to her ears, “I’m sorry... they were so... lovely and... and I wanted to be pretty... and... and... and I don’t know how!” the blue mare burst into tears.
Twilight pouted, but she couldn’t stay mad for long at how recalcitrant the ex-stallion looked, “Well, you’d better get out, Midnight, or you’ll shrivel up. I’ll... teach you about makeup. Eyeshadow for example. I’m pretty sure you never wore eye-shadow before.”
Midnight shook her head and fussed with the shower-head, attempting to get the last of the soap out of her mane. Twilight giggled, “Here, let me do that... maybe we can have a girl’s night in? Would you like that? I really am sorry, you know..."
Midnight sank into the bathtub once more, now the only thing visible was her horn, but even her horn was blushing as she nodded the affirmative.
“Seeya later, Twi! I’ll keep an eye on Midnight, don’t worry!” called the dragon as Twilight clip-clopped down the street. After she was out of view, Spike shut the door and called out, “It’s okay! She’s gone! Now what were you planning?”
“A little payback for yesterday, Spikey, of the best sort. I’ll have her taste her own medicine. She made more R63 than she needed, and I’ve found out where she keeps it. We’re going to have a little party tonight, and then I’m going to prank her good and proper.”
“With the potion?”
“Of course with the potion!”
Spike made a few benedictorial signs against his chest, “When she asks, I know nothing.”
Midnight trotted down the happy streets of Ponyville, flicking her tail about. She had to admit, it was doing her good to get out of the stuffy library, as much as she liked slobbing around on the sofa and eating chips with her muzzle in the packet like it was a nose-bag... usually... for some reason it felt good to be out and about.
“Hey baby! Gimme some flank!” came a few catcalls, Midnight flicked her tail and trotted on, head held high. The nerve, she thought to herself. She started making plans for ponies like that; first she’d work out how to make the stuff, then she’d work out some way of weaponizing it. A few spritzers here or there... by the time she’d got to Sweet Apple Acres, she’d got the whole idea mapped out in her head. It would involve water balloons and laser-guided cannons. She almost didn’t notice Big Mac, and practically ran into him.
“Hey there li’l lady,” the stoic red stallion said, “don’t believe ah’ve seen y’around here before.”
Midnight looked up, and froze. Big Mac. She’d never really... looked at him before. A shiver went down her spine and her tail twitched involuntarily, “Big..." she squeaked, harrumphed, “Big Mac! I-It’s me, Midnight. It was an accident with a spell, Twilight..."
“Miss Twilight? I dunno, Midnight, Miss Twilight’s usually right good at spells.”
“Yeah, well, this one worked, it just wasn’t supposed to be work on me.”
“So,” Big Mac looked down at her, shuffled his hooves, “yer a purty filly... ah mean... ya look good. I mean, uh, you look okay.”
Midnight pouted, “Wasn’t on my list of things to do though.”
“Well, what’re you down for?”
“I just... wanted to invite you all to a party. S’time we had a get-together, it’s a surprise for Twilight. I want to invite all of you.”
Big Mac rumbled his assent and turned around, falling into step with Midnight, escorting her down the path to the farmhouse proper. Midnight shook her head, must not think of Big Mac’s strong shoulders. Must not think of strong hooves. You’re a stallion. You’re not a mare. Yes I know he’s dreamy... I mean no he isn’t! Dammit!
“Y’all okay there, Midnight?”
“Perfectly fine!” squeaked the mare, clearing her throat again, “I mean, ahem, totally fine.”
It was later that day. Preparations had been made. Everything was set.
“Good evening, Pinkie, just sneak in there... and ssshhh!”
“Oh this is going to be the bestest! I thought I was the only pony who made specially secret surprise parties but I’m so glad you invited me to this one cos surprise parties are the best types of parties and..."
“Ssshh! She might hear you! She’ll be along any minute!”
“Oh! Right!” Pinkie giggled and mimed a hoof passing across her muzzle, followed by some digging motions and something complicated involving construction. Midnight smiled despite herself.
Guests continued arriving. Fluttershy knocked so lightly Midnight almost didn’t hear her. She squeaked when the door was opened, “You... you really are a m-mare!”
“I am indeed! Come in!”
The next to arrive was Applejack, “Y’all seen Big Mac? Mah brother’s durn been missin’ all afternoon!”
Midnight nodded, “I had him run interference for Twilight, sorry. I’ll help buck apples tomorrow, okay?”
“Durn right ya will, missy!” Applejack stormed past, giving Midnight the evil eye. Midnight turned back to the door and came nose-to-nose with a skyblue, rainbow-haired pegasus.
“Midnight? Oh that is just too precious! Haaa haaa! You’re a little filly... harharhar! And are you... oh my gosh you are, makeup!”
“Rainbow Dash,” scolded Rarity, trotting in, “a girl should always strive to look her best!”
“Yeah, but when the girl is your boyfr- I mean... when the girl is a stallion? It’s too precious!” Rainbow giggled all the way in.
The last up was Big Mac. His knock on the door was loud and forceful, Midnight opened the door and looked up into those big green eyes and almost melted, before pulling herself together, “Hi-hi, Big Mac, come in. Where’s Twilight?”
“Twi’ll be along right soon, Miss Midnight.”
“Alright then!” cried Midnight, turning as Big Mac trotted in, “Everyone take your places!”
“Yippee! But first, there’s a whole bowl of punch I found Midnight! A toast to another party pony!”
“Wait? What? No!” cried Midnight, but it was too late. Everypony had raised a cup to their lips, apart from Big Mac and the dark blue unicorn herself, and drank. “Oh... horseapples.”
“Sooo... let me get this straight. Midnight found my R63 potion.”
“Uh huh.” replied Spike, nervously.
“And he thought he’d prank me with it..."
“But instead, everypony else drank it?”
“That’s about the all of it, Twilight... you mad?” Spike wrang his claws together, twirling a foot against the floor.
Twilight burst into laughter, “That is the most hilarious thing I’ve heard in my life! So, everypony is now... switched?”
“Well I’m not,” said Spike, “I’m too young for punch, and Big Mac isn’t cos he wasn’t in time. And you aren’t.”
“When I catch that delinquent unicorn, I’m going to..." Rainbow was fuming.
“Oh Dash, take it easy... or should I say Dashiel?” mollified Twilight, “I can reverse it, easy-peasy, just not today.”
“How long are we going to be... stuck like this?” asked a yellow pegasus.
“Flutter... guy... I’ll have to run some tests but it shouldn’t be that long,” Twilight smirked, then turned, “everypony? I’ll... I can fix this, just not tonight. Where’s Rarity?”
Pinkie Pie, who seemed totally unfazed by his new body, bounced around the purple unicorn, “I think he went to change clothes... maybe make clothes. He may be a stallion now, but he’s still a fashionista!”
“This... requires Tequila.” said Dashiel, breaking out a bottle and pouring himself a shot or two.
“I’m... really sorry, I didn’t mean..." said Midnight, taking the other shot.
“Ah, don’t sweat it, Twi can undo it.” another few rounds of shots went down. Another bottle was found - this one proclaimed itself to be rum.
“I really didn’t mean for... ooh, that’s warming... I really didn’t... you know, Dashiel, you make a pretty good stallion.”
“And you make a pretty cute mare.”
Two more shots went down. The red earth pony stallion joined them, trying to avoid his... brothers... eye. Pretty soon, everything was looking rather rosey and the party went ahead.
Midnight touched her belly, it was large and had been growing larger. She felt the movement under her hooves. She looked up at the doctor and he smiled, said a few placatory words, “it’s twins.”
“Twins? But... when? How?”
“I’m sure you know when, and how, Miss Midnight.”
She was being wheeled into the hospital, spread-eagled on her back as a team of unicorns around her cast examinatory spells across her body. They shouted words like “pulse is good” and “blood pressure nominal” until the gurney came to rest in a large operating theatre.
Twilight stepped up in doctor’s smocks, “you should know better than to try to cross me. Now you’ll be the first stallion to give birth!”
“And I’ll be here to help! Her number one assistant!” said Spike, sharpening his claws on a grinding stone, sending sparks flying.
“Nnnnoooooooo!” Midnight awoke with a start, panting hard. Her mouth felt like something had died in it and the room swam sickeningly. Slowly her eyes focused, she was in a bed, under the sheets. One thing was sure, it wasn’t her bed. She eased herself out into the open air and blinked. There in front of her in the pre-dawn light was a sky blue pegasus stallion with a rainbow mane. He woke up.
“Midnight? What’s up?” he said, rubbing a hoof across his muzzle to clear his head.
Midnight gulped, “Did we? Last night?” she felt suspiciously sore.
Rainbow Dashiel’s muzzle broke into a wide, evil grin, “Oh yeah. Several times.”
“Oh horseapples.” swore Midnight, turning over to face away from the grinning pegasus. As she turned, she froze. There on the other side of her was a large red earth stallion.
“Oh... oh no. You too?”
Big Mac opened his eyes, he blinked for a bit and considered, “Eeeyup.”