the Everdark: A twisting labyrinth of raw stone that spirals far beneath the crust of the surface. Few ponies dare delve so deep into the subterranean tunnels and caverns far below Equestria, or would dream of ever attempting to traverse the maze of rock and abyssal cliffs that make up such a terrifying place.
Flash Acumen suddenly finds himself separated from his friends as, during a friendly hiking trip, he is plummeted into the abyssal depths of Equestria following a sudden and violent Earthquake. With only his hiking harness, and a meager bag of supplies, he’s going to need to find his way out of the pitch-black caves of the spiraling Everdark before he starves to death, or the denizens of the deep devour him. But despite his bleak circumstances, he finds help from an unexpected sharp-fanged ally.
+All Artwork is done by (surprise, surprise): me
++Special thanks to my Editor: Ara (They make these chapters largely readable beyond my horrid first-draft scrawl).
Sharp fanged Ally?
*Pokes his teeth*
I'll do it!
*Reads the story premise*
Err you know what,
Mabey ill let some other changeling take this one,
I've been told i taste like muffins,
And i'd rather not give a monster the chance to find out.
Interesting
Good start, I enjoyed it! My only complaint is that you said she had a "British" accent, but that's just knit-picking on my part.
3403072 hey, no problem. Its just nice to have feedback. If you don't mind me asking, was it just that it was a specific accent? or was there a problem in your thoughts about it?
I'm writing this story for the Bat-Pony write-off for EQD. But honestly, after planning it out (and with my own busy schedule only just yesterday letting off enough time for me to write this, and essentially 5 days left) I don't know if I'll be able to have it done by the 31st. of October.
Either way, thanks for reading. Its seeming like people are responding positively to this so far, so I guess I'm doing something right.
3403179 It's just that Equestria doesn't have a Britain, so it would be weird to describe an accent by someplace that doesn't exist. I would've used a place like Trottingham or something else punny like that.
Good luck in the competition by the way!
3403260 hmmm, a wonderful suggestion actually (and a good point). I think I might just go edit something real quick
Thanks again
Huh and i though it would be changeling as ally. That tag misjudged me. Anyway i hope you won't make changelings as stupid obstacle ;p
3405597 I think everyone will be pleasantly surprised by their role in this story. I promise they wont just be just some bland bad guy
And yeah, I kinda purposefully put the changeling tag in there and added the "sharp toothed ally" bit in the summary to purposefully mislead folks looking into it. A nice simple surprise when people start reading further in.
3405604
Or reading few first comments when you say its batpony write off ;p
3405623 yeah lol, true that. But, I did JUST add that little bit literally an hour ago (just to be fair to you guys reading it). I considered not writing anything, buuuuut I'd rather have people on the same page as me with this particular min-story.
Bam! new cover art. All nice and colored with colored pencils.
Also, the story is essentially completed! yay!
Didn't finish it in time for the contest (missed the deadline by an hour due to a critical chapter failure. Lost about 8000 words worth of work... ugh). But here it is!
I promised to work on it, contest or not, and here you have it.
As always, I hope you enjoy.
-N.W.
Duh you didn't change to "complete" or maybe wanna write some epilogue?
You missed wings for Scout in cover art ;D
3429003
Still trying to decide if I want to write an epilogue or not.
Also when I was checking out changeling art, I was trying to figure out if they had a "wings folded up" version, and I couldn't really... find anything (-->didn't look very hard.jpg). So I decided to just go with the "lady bug" style of wings and just supposed they folded them back down under their back-carapace thing. So yeah... if he doesn't have wings, that's why
. Personally I'm more annoyed that Flash's head looks annoyingly big for his body, but hey. did it in under 2 hours, and I didn't have to pay someone else to do it.
So yay, no spending of money was required for the completion of this project.
So.... yeeeeaaaaah, that's bout it. It's kinda weird to essentially be done with this. I pretty much spent 12 hours yesterday and just wrote out the end chapters, inked and colored that picture, and then realized that I'd written 20 ,000 words over the word limit for the bat pony write-off... So, no submission. But I loved writing it!
And for how much the story focused on Flash and Scout, I think it's fair to look at it as being about more than just bat ponies.
Until next time
-N.W.
3430468
Hmm IDW theory its that their carapace is kind of wear on armor
derpicdn.net/img/2013/10/19/451780/large.jpeg
I for one don't like much that idea. Instantly changelings is less alienish (what is pretty cool).
Hmm about Flash head i didn't get any fells its too big, more scout grin is little out of place or something
3430564 interesting, good to know.
In the future I'm planning on doing a re-done version of the cover art, but for now I'm just gonna leave it up. I was super rushed on it, so I know I could do a better job.
As for scout's grin... I originally intended for him to be a much more "light spirited" type of character, and I suppose he ended up not being so to quite the degree I had in mind. Anyways, thanks for the feedback on it, its good to get some details on what peeps like or don't like for this stuff.
Yo, just as a big heads up.
I'm currently going back through the entire first-draft of this story with my wonderful editor, so expect it to be a while until I finish up this story officially. It needs a lot of editing, and in general, some polish. So far I've gotten essentially the first 3 chapters re-written, and they probably wont sync. up to future chapters perfectly because I'm re-writing a few sections (don't worry, its the same storry, just a bit more characterization and world building elements).
Anywho, I realize its frustrating to wait for the end, but you're all just going to have to deal with it. I wrote the entire story in 6 days (sheesh... makes me tired just typing that). there's quite a few mistakes to be corrected. I do apologize for the wait though, I know how annoying it is to wait for chapter updates. forgive me
Anyways, thanks for the patience and I promise to work through the story as quickly as humanely possible. This story will be completed, and (hopefully) by the end of the month I'll have worked through the majority of this and I'll be able to give you guys an awesome end to our little adventure through the dark here.
Edited chapters will say so in the 'Authors Comments' sections. Also, don't hold me to it, but I'm trying to make sketches to add pictures into some of the scenes. like a "From Flash's journal" kind of thing. They wont be perfect, but hey that's because I am, I mean... Flash
, is drawing them (lol).
Either way, have a good (insert time of day here), and I'll see all you fine people in the future.
-N.W.
just a question...why does it seem that it suddenly changes to third person in the second last paragraph?
3508019 If you look at the comment posts for chapter 11, you'll see the reasons for why the stories a little messed up.
To summarize myself though, I wrote the story in 6 days (which obviously left me with some glaring perspective/character/story holes), and I'm now working back through the story to fix said problems with my amazing Editor, Ara.
So far, we've gotten the first 3 chapters finished and we're actually right in the middle of getting the 4th. chapter edited. You'll know the edited stuff from the non-edited stuff because the finished chapters have the chapter number / chapter title at the top of the chapter.
So, in short, apologies for any of the chapter issues, and I promise I'm fixing them. I honestly considered taking all the chapters down, but I felt like that was sort of unfair to anyone (such as yourself) who was already past what I'd edited and was expecting to still have 5 more chapters of material to read. I guess just realize the story is being actively worked on, and there might be some issues with the older material.
Either way though, thank you for posting that issue with perspective. It helps to have something specific to look for when I'm looking over the entire chapters.
Thanks for the comment, and I hope you're enjoying the story so far,
-N.W.
Hey your story was amazing, but I also believe you could do better so I look forward as to what you will be changing and adding.
you might need it later
Oh and have a free heart
Hmm wait that wasn't ended ?
4001562 I decided to go back and add in a few more chapters, and overall re-write the entire story to make it better.
So yes, there's going to be new stuff/situations/scenes.
It'll still follow the same arc, and end up at the same ending, but this should help to actually pull out the characters personalities and create a more exciting story overall. Also, I really wanted to give more time to developing the characters for Scout and Citrine, and perhaps even some other new characters (spoilers on names there to those of you who haven't read this yet). They were fun characters, and I think they deserve more than just a few scenes.