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A half breed of a pony has been captured by the royal guard and is held in prison while they try to attain some type of knowledge from him. But as it seems he is going to stay there for the remainder of his life an unexpected chance is thrust upon him.
Man...Celestia's a bitch, where is Optimus Prime when you need him? As he would say "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings." I bet when he woke up that morning he didn't expect his day to go down hill so fast.
_Arrested for a crime you didn't commit
_Beaten by the police
_Racism based on your status as a halfbreed
_Enslaved
_No rights
_Voice removed
_Your old man set you up for said crime
_Your at the mercy of one god that has disgust towards you and other is your only friend.
Yep, today sucks.
The more you read this the more you want to take off and nuke to Canterlot from orbit. I mean not even Discord was this cruel or evil. "I don't turn ponies to stone." I do wonder about Talen's logic: make the best of the situation, huh? Dude, you are a slave, reduced to the level of a pet, and fed dog food, at that point I'd rather welcome death. The thing is because this is a ship fic and based on the content, I can only guess Celestia gets even more horrible.
Eh, kinda went downhill after the first chapter.
Also why are you not breaking things up by speaker? It makes it incredibly confusing and I found myself multiple times having to go back and figure out who was saying what. Please work on the formatting, it's not suicide inducing but it is really hard to read.
I would do that but I never really have got that down so I just write the way I see fit, and yes I have seen people breaking it up that way but I just cant really see for my way of writing to do that. If I ever do figure out how to do that perfectly I might just do it, and please keep in mind this is my first attempt at this.
It is a shame you haven't updated this, Talen. The story has the potential to be a great tale, given it has the time necessary to put into it as far as grammar, format, and a consistent storyline goes. Should think about continuing it, no? I'd personally look forward to reading more, and I'm sure so would a ton of other trackers.
Thing is I do know where I want to go with this story. But I have been having major writers block with this entire thing, and it doesn't help that I haven't had any good inspiration to continue writing.
And thank you for your confidence in my writing. I always assumed I was a sub-par writer. I attribute this to the fact that the only time I ever write is when I am extremely bored and have nothing else to do or an intense feeling of passion overcomes me forcing me to write it onto a page.
The feeling has been mutual. Only recently have I started writing again. But after... A handful of events, per say, I found it hard to be passionate about anything. As of late my passion has returned. I'd like to see for yours to build, too. You have the potential.
And for writer's block... I suggest you just sit down and start... Writing. Let the words flow from your hands. You'd be surprised at what you have written. That's how my most recent story was started (Which has yet to be approved... Damn website.) It tends to be the best remedy for writer's block. Besides that just try to quick-start your imagination. That'd help, too.
Eh. My stories always take shape inside my head and they do prefer to stay there. But.....When I try and force words to a page or a document they do not carry any meaning behind them. Plus I need something to base it off of, be it some random object or act to an episode of my own insanity. So given some time I might just start writing again, but in the mean time I am going to relax and read some stories to build some ideas.
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I ci wut u did der.
Also, you should create a new paragraph each time a new character begins speaking, it can be a little confusing.
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