This story definitely has my interest.

Hope this has a happy ending for Ditzy and Dinky^^

Adding my voice to those hoping for a happy ending. And a proper lesson to any bullies. Tracking~

Haha, thanks guys. This is my first fanfiction, so don't be shy about laying on the constructive criticism as well!

But thanks, hope you guys continue to enjoy it!

Such a cute story!!~

Let's hope for a happy resolution to this. Said resolution involves an orange Earth pony mare introducing the malefactor or malefactors to severe physical pain.

Sorry to anypony that wanted this to be longer. I just can't really get a hold of where I want this story to go, and I don't wanna release stuff that's half-baked, so I'm marking this as Complete.

Ah well, bound to happen a few times while I get the hang of writing. Hope you all enjoyed it, in any case.

I'll be focusing on writing more one-shots for now, and try to get my long-story skills up.

This was really good. I reckon it was a good idea keeping your first work short. I'm having problems with depth for my first fanfic, and I think I've made it too long, so I commend what you've done here. Despite it's length it has enough emotional weight to it, and is an entertaining read. Congrats to you, sir! I thoroughly enjoyed it.

>>668966668966

Thanks very much, that means a lot. Good luck with your story, as well!

One piece of advice I have for you is that once you've gotten your story to a good point (say, what you think would be a chapter break), sit it down and leave it for a week or two. Try out some other stuff, maybe writing a one-shot or something of the sort. Once that's passed, come back and take a look over your fic again, and edit the hell out of it. Coming back after a while with fresh eyes really helps you weed out stuff that you would have otherwise missed. With this story, I had around two fortnight breaks between editing sessions. I came back over it a few times and edited it until I was fairly happy with it.

I'm also tending to write multiple stories at the same time, and I think this is why. Have something like four WiP stories in my fic folder at the moment. That might be a little over the top, but it's what I've done to try and get a good story. Good luck, can't wait to read your story when it comes out!

Aw...

The feels for Derpy are incredible, and I hope to see a happy ending too.

The only complaint I have for this is the continues breaks after only one or two sentences.  It works sometimes, but an entire story read in that fashion makes it feel kind of like having it delivered with a machinegun.

Some places could be nestled together without hurting the story's tone in any fashion, and one or two others would just need a tiny modification for it to work.

But really, it's just an aesthetic complaint; you've written a lovely story.

So much d'aaaaaaaaaaaaw.