• Member Since 30th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 9 minutes ago

RainbowDoubleDash


“If the youth are not initiated into the tribe, they will burn down the village, just to feel its warmth.” — African proverb

E
Source

Last year, Lute, a pegasus foal living in Canterlot, spent too much time lollygagging around, and got almost no candy on Nightmare Night as a result. He learned a valuable lesson then: time is candy. This year, he doesn't care about costumes, parties, the spirit of the season. He simply wants to get as much candy as possible, as quickly as possible.

But that is not in the true spirit of Nightmare Night...and the Nightmare does not approve...

A Lunaverse story, but barely. The cast is essentially entirely OCs.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 31 )

Lute is a little changed in personality from what I had originally suggested I was going to do with him. I think "cynical" works better for the purposes of this story, though.

3387566
I like it! Didn't much care for the "Mouth full of sharp, predator-looking teeth, teeth meant to rip and tear at living creatures, not plants" line, but that's more a personal beef then anything. Kudos, fair RDD:twilightsmile: I for one look forward to more:eeyup:

Oh, this is a nice start! Lute's a cynical little thing, but he's got spirit and a sense of fairness. Let's see how he and the two bullies manage with the Nightmare breathing on their necks. (And I really like the alternate Nightmare origin story!)

3387972
It's totally cribbed from Jack-o'-Lantern's story and not original at all, sadly. Still, it works for these purposes.

Looks like L-verse Luna is having fun with the Role.

Hmm, not too shabby. Admittedly I'm not a fan of Halloween but this... is rather good. I'm actually hoping Lute doesn't lose his entire stash. And that was so Trixie, wasn't it. :trixieshiftright:

3387992

Yep, I'm going to guess that Luna having a ball terrifying foals.

Everyone's got to have a hobby, even Luna.

Could've used a bit more characterization and descriptions of the new characters. But overall this was pretty enjoyable! Thanks for sharing.

Good chapter!

Life's no fun without a good scare. Nice.

¡This is good!

Also it's taken me literally until just now to realize that "Lute" sounds like "loot" and is, therefore, a perfect name for a foal who is introduced trying to get as much candy as possible on Nightmare Night.

I'm either a genius or an idiot. Probably the latter.

This was a nice conclusion. It is a conclusion, right? The story's marked incomplete still so I wonder what you can add to it since to me it reads as done.
Anyway, it was some nice catharsis to see those bullies put in their place and the foals getting their candy back was sweet. It has that made-for-tv holiday movie feeling to it.

Man, I'm even more curious about what this Nightmare is now. It kind of feels like that its either Luna playing around and having fun or that it's somehow a cast off piece of her. ...My theory's on the former at the moment, but this has still been a very fun read either way! :twilightsmile:

So, even without Nightmare MOON being part of the thing, Luna still gets to be something of a troll...
Good to know.

5212568

Yeah I can't decide between the two either, I'd go with Luna having the time of her life as well just because it's more fun.

Maybe another scene for Blueblood or Fisher or Puscience finding out their mansions but TPed, again! Although depending on the time line Blueblood may well have been dragged out by Pinkie to have fun.

5214076

The thing is I don't think Pinkie would be upset if a place gets TPed, as long as it's in good fun and the perpetrator comes back to help tidy up the next day.

5214095

Why do you think she got herself a little accomplice? She gets the sweets he gets the blame for messing up nobles houses, its fiendish!

Okay, the TP'ing bit was hilarious. I can just picture 'the Nightmare' prancing between the nobles' houses, internally giggling like a filly the whole time.

Not too bad an end to this tale. Don't worry too much about not being able to get stuff out. RL happens.

I take it that Princess Luna is the NightMare. After all, Princess Luna is the NightMare. I suppose that the next chapter will appear NightMareNight next year.

Good to get context on Nightmare Night in a worldline without its usual star. Also a nice little character arc for Lute. The design of Canterlot is alo quite nice. Reminds me of one of the D&D Outer Planes, the Seven Mounting Heavens of...

Celestia. Huh. How's that for irony?

In any case, thank you for this. Looking forward to anything else you may have planned for it.

9249884
There's actually a reason for it taking so long, sort of. I know exactly what I want the epilogue to be...but part of the epilogue is explaining exactly what the Nightmare is, mostly for the sake of a joke set up in Chapter 2. I kind of like the Nightmare remaining unexplained, however...

...so, basically, I keep wafting back and forth about whether or not I want to post the epilogue.

9254115
Not the universe as a whole, but I think it might hurt this particular story. Part of the fun of the Nightmare is in whether she really is what the witch in chapter 1 (implied but not stated to be Trixie) described, or if she's Luna herself, or if she's maybe just a cast off piece of Luna that's developed its own identity...

9254736
It's a single line, not worth taking out. The bit where Lute comments that the Nightmare must not worry about cavities with how little she chews, and the Nightmare gets an "if only..." look on her face.

9254855
I'm thinking of a few possibilities...

A) It's Chrysalis, taking the opportunity to revel in her superiority and snag some of the love-for-candy floating about on Nightmare Night. And regarding not having to worry about cavities... well Chrysalis is a changeling so she already has plenty of those.

B) It's simply Luna, taking the opportunity to let her mane down, enact a little personal justice, (something she gets far too little of as the ruler) and enjoy the candy. (Again, something she gets far too little of as a ruler)

C) It's Luna and Chrysalis working together!

D) It's Luna, appeasing her nightmare's craving for domination, tribute and the subjugation of ponies.

E) Or it's the wandering spirit of Moon Beam, forbidden the afterlife and permitted existence for one night each year as a minor mercy. Taking candy from babies, tormenting bullies and TP'ing a noble's manor seem to be right up her alley.

I was kind of hoping that The Nightmare was just Luna in disguise who just wanted to play pranks and make sure bullies got what they deserved. It would also make sense for why Trixie (you're not gonna convince me that the witch wasn't her) said she met The Nightmare before. Luna and Trixie could've been working together to make sure Nightmare Night is enjoyable...and to add some extra scare to the celebration. It would also make sense why The Nightmare hates the nobles...then again, there are a lot of reasons for anypony to have issues with the nobles.

9732730
You’re actually spot-on with all of it (including Trixie), but I ended up not including it directly in the story in order to keep some mystery, plus there isn’t really any way for Lute to learn all of this.

Hello! I thought I’d share this with everybody. I made a reading of the first chapter, and the second should be out shortly.
Thanks for writing your lovely stories, and for inspiring others to do the same.

but once again the mist revealed in image,

an

The mist at her hooves was showing her an image, not of Lute trick-or-treating, but instead of that pegasus foal giving her some of her hard-earned candy in thanks for getting Brawny and Peach to leave her alone.

him

even as the Nightmare herself spread her wings and took to the sky herself.

I think this would flow smoother if you took out one of the herselves.

Most of the time the colt or filly inside was asleep, so Zephyr and the Nightmare simply left a pile of candy at their windowsill.

That one tripped me up rather hard, had to do a second take.

Login or register to comment