Ever since Twilight moved to Ponyville, she's had almost no time with her teacher. Finally, they come together for tea, as they once did every week.
This is a little drabble I whipped up one day before work for the purposes of figuring out my perspective of how Twilight and Celestia would act if they were in private. This does stand alone, but it also includes a reference to Sworn to Soar. Not a lot happens here, but I liked it, and I hope you might like it too.
Update: So....in two days, the thing I spent the absolute LEAST time on to submit to this site...has the most likes. and the quickest accumulation of views. my big long thing has been around for a couple months and is still growing and doesn't even have twice this many views!
Chapters (1)
Awww, what a wonderfully touching story, I enjoyed this thoroughly.
An excellent little scene :D
A nice little moment between Student and teacher, if theres anything that I would have to say is that this felt like a smaller piece to something much larger. Also, as far as plot goes, there really isn't any conflict or strong drama at work here to entice a reader.
Sure, Celestia and Twilight have a back an forth. Twilight expresses her doubts and short comings to Celestia which Celestia then neutralizes and comforts her. But those were addressed and waved off with a sort of casualness one would expect about rainy weather.
Not a whole lot of substance here, just Twilight and Celestia havin' tea, which is okay. Not every story has to be about epic evils and giant laser battles over Big Macintosh. Build yourself up bit by bit to those longer works, more fun, works :D!
A nice little story. Short, but cute. Good job.
That makes it sound like she's expecting a coup.
Good effort, but you might want to keep an eye on your paragraphs. Story is screwing with my head canon a bit since you'd think Celestia in all her wisdom would have no trouble beating Twilight at chess.
Example:
“Ah-tut-tut.” She interrupted. “You know better. You simply need to remember the rule you're supposed to follow. There's no point in titles if we're equal in rank. Unless you want me to call you Princess Sparkle?” Twilight sank into her seat, shoulders slumped.
“I'm sorry. It's been months, and I'm still not used to all the changes...” She sighed, looking down crestfallen. A glimmering light caught her eye as a chess board levitated down between them. Likewise enveloped in magic, a cup filled with tea, with just as much sugar as she liked, gently settled onto the table in front of her.
The first paragraph is focused on Celestia. When you introduce something that isn't in tune with the paragraph you tend to break fluency. (The last sentence should probably be in the next paragraph)
3384021 oh, I got the longer works, don't you worry. I just wanted to try something that was short and explored the relationship of the characters. I did warn you in the summary page that not a lot happens!
3386793 yeah, I heard that from a friend too, but it felt odd to consider it flowing that way. still, you are providing substantive, well explained critique. in this, I feel I owe it to you to actually explore your advice. got a day off work coming up, I'll go back through it, hammer it into the shape you think it should be, do a little comparison type thing, see if I decide to submit changes, or keep it as it is.I would've done it when my friend brought it up, but he was like, "You should do it this way." and I was all, "Why?" and he couldn't articulate his answer in a satisfactory manner.
As a quick response to the description stating confusion for it being in Twilestia:
It's not a shipping only group, any story that primarily focuses on interactions between the two, in this case as good friends, gets a spot in the group.
3387882 aah. thanks for the clarification. removing that from the synopsis page thingy deal.