I've been known to write. I've also been called a witch for using magic to do so...
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A few weeks have passed since I told them about what it was like before they showed up. Pinkie and Fluttershy felt like they were walking on eggshells for a few days and Rainbow became a huge Modern Warfare fan, but she would still go into other games. Pinkie occasionally took the TV from Rainbow in her vain attempt to beat Dragon’s Lair. I never can bring myself to tell her she isn’t going to do it.
I remember trying to figure out how she could possibly manipulate the controller as well as she could with hooves and wings. Then again, I’ve been surprised by several things as of late. First of all was Pinkie’s insistence that we literally drew straws, best made dinner and worst cleaned dishes. Chores around the house started to be broken down like that over time and in time the dreary February gave way to March.
March was when the fight for the internet connection began. The sixth meant Mass Effect 3, and Rainbow wasn’t going to stop me from playing multiplayer. My Mass Effect 3 account was found at odd times over the course of the following weeks. I was playing when chores, groceries, sleep, or work wouldn’t intervene. That isn’t to say I was playing exclusively, it was never that easy to do anything in a place surrounded by ponies. Even Twilight could pry herself from her research for movie night or game night. We held back for each episode of My Little Pony until after dinner every Saturday. There were also instances when I couldn’t use my computer, Twilight would hijack it for her growing addiction to puzzle games like the Myst series.
I still wrote mock letters to Princess Celestia, always whenever I thought I learned a lesson about friendship, and eventually I started to wonder something. “Twilight,” I said to her one day during breakfast. “I’ve got a question for you.”
She looked up from her stack of pancakes. “Yes Alex?”
“Have you been able to send anything to Princess Celestia?”
She sunk a little in her seat. “I’ve tried but, Spike keeps belching the letters back up.”
“Sorry Twi,” said the baby dragon, “but it’s not my fault. They just won’t go through or something.”
“The Princess must be worried about all of you though,” I said while pointing a fork laden with pancake towards Twilight. “It’s been about a month now and I’m sure she’s noticed something was wrong by now.”
Twilight nodded, “I’m sure Princess Celestia is doing her best to find us, but she still has to govern Equestria.”
I smiled at her, “I said I’d help in any way I can Twilight. Just tell me if you need my help.”
She shook her head. “No, you have enough to do as is. I can’t ask you to help us.”
“Twilight Sparkle, I want to help you.” I smirked, “got it?”
“I get it. Let’s start today.”
A little later on in the day I sat in the study, ready to listen to Twilight try to explain the complications to me. This was something I was actually eager to listen to, I mean it would seem cruel to think of the way between our worlds as a one way trip. It wasn’t something I liked at all since I knew they had no real position in our world.
“I shudder to think this only works one way Alex,” Twilight said. Her first words in this ‘lesson’ echoed my thoughts. It was this concept that made me wonder how much we may have in common. “That said, Spike’s inability to send letters to Equestria supports this disturbing theory.”
“I know,” I told her solemnly, “I really share your thought on this matter. I mean it sounds like some sick joke for you to have no way back home. Do any spells of yours not work here?”
“No, everything works except for relaying letters to the Princess. Do you have any ideas?”
“Well, humans contact each other immediately using the internet. I have no guarantee that something like e-mail would go to Equestria but-”
“I think it might be worth a try. Is there anything special we have to do?”
“We’d need some sort of e-mail address to send it to.”
“What kind of things are in an e-mail address then?”
“They follow a simple order. The first part is a name, usually the person you’re trying to reach followed by the symbol for at, then the domain name.”
“Well the name is easy enough.”
“Not really Twilight, I mean it could be Celestia, Princess Celestia, maybe some sort of shorthand, or even some more elaborate name. Then there’s the domain name.”
“What about that?”
“I think it could be something like ‘Equestria dot gov’ or ‘Canterlot dot gov’ but I have no way to know for sure.”
Twilight put her hoof to her chin and thought a little. “Gov would be short for government right Alex?”
I nodded. “You can see why that sounds like it would work Twilight?”
“Would we know if we were wrong?”
“Usually we should know very quickly.”
“Great, where do we start?”
I got up and went to my desk to retrieve a notepad. “How about you give me every name, formal or otherwise, she may go by.”
After several drafts, Twilight and I agreed on a very straightforward letter.
Subject: Dear Princess Celestia
My friends and I are stuck in a foreign world with no way to return home. Please contact me as soon as possible.
The real challenge came from developing every possible combination of Princess Celestia Daybreaker and Equestria.gov or Canterlot.gov.
“So why isn’t it just a clear-cut ‘Twilight Sparkle’ Alex,” Twilight asked after we came downstairs to the computer.
“Well, a fan claiming your name for their e-mail is playing against very high odds Twilight.”
“Well, that’s just… creepy. If that’s the case what are the odds of somepony having the Princess’ name?”
“I kinda doubt the existence of either domain in a conventional sense.”
After hours of trying possible combinations, everyone had found it a fruitless endeavor. Thousands of combinations had worn on even Twilight’s nerves. “Let’s face it Twilight,” I said after I realized I tried this combination already, “we can’t e-mail Princess Celestia.”
“Twilight, Alex,” called Rarity from the kitchen, “dinner’s ready.”
Twilight sighed and shuffled towards the dining room, her head down in defeat. “I guess so.”
I sighed and got out of my seat, glancing back to the inbox crammed with messages saying that the address a message was sent to didn’t exist. So much for that theory, I thought. It was a serious setback, something either Twilight or me just couldn’t quite accept; even if we had no choice.
Notice: Please do not bother SparkleT@gmail.com because of this piece of fiction.