• Member Since 31st Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 1st, 2014

PrincessoftheNight


Rarity is best pony. Never assume.

T

All stars die.

Stars have a life cycle just like any living being, but much longer. The sun and stars seem immortal, always there, never changing. Yet they too are mortal, born with a set amount of fuel, and no amount of pleading from the planets they nurture can save a sun once the time is up.

But no one is ever prepared for the supernova shockwave.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

The idea was already interesting to me, but your original description sealed the deal.

Twilight's feelings about Celestia's agony seemed barely touched upon to me, but I felt it didn't hinder the story. What did, in my opinion, was the use of 'what seemed like an eternity' three times in the same short chapter. You might want to use other expressions.

I likes the lines 'the setting sun burst through the clouds, turning them a thousand shades of crimson and pink and Philomena's cage into golden fire' and '"In my lifetime, I have faced countless wars, famines, Discord, and a demon possessing my younger sister. I think I can face hospital food without your help."'

I believe 'hoovers' should be 'hooves' in 'Twilight gasped, taking her mentor's limp, cold hoovers in her own.' You incidentally forgot the closing quotation mark before this sentence.

I'm looking forward to the next chapters.

3372053 Well, that's embarrassing.:twilightblush:

Thanks for the advice!

I liked it, but it was too short. This story can be so much bigger, because a small story like this doesn't fit it's goal. MOAR!!! :flutterrage:

But in all seriousness, you made a pretty nice story, but I think it should be bigger and better! Not that it's good not good, just make it more bigger, and I swear this will be in my list of favourites! A like and follow should be sufficient, though.

Keep going! :raritywink:

I really liked the story but I think that you should throw in a bit of adventure if you make another chapter. Maybe you could make it so Twilight has to go on a lone mission to find something (Like a life stone or something similar?) to revive the princess BUT WAIT! You can toss in a little corrupt (Emotionally possibly because of the loss of her sister?) Luna and spice it up a little bit! Also I liked the fact that in this story Twilight actually does teleport when she needs to. Thank you for this story!

I'm sorry to say this...but the feels. I felt no feels. In my opinion, it was a bit short and rushed. Make the reader feel what Twilight is feeling. Maybe, you could have Twilight run into Celestia's room and have her be barely alive, have twilight try to save her in a moment of desperation, and then...Celestia breathes her last. But it's your story and I leave all decisions up to you. Just tryin to help. Liked and faved, I await further installments!

3374383 sounds good but maybe something more dramatic than quicksand?

"Twilight's world ceased to exist."

And then so did the rest of the planet as the sun in the sky exploded then.

Login or register to comment