Any place where a earth pony has touched the ground. Any spot where a unicorn has used magic. Wherever a pegasus has flown through the air. With the help of a newly discovered particle that reveals how magic affects the physical world, Twilight can track the actions of all kinds of ponies. However, an unprecedented wave of crime is starting to sweep across Equestria, and a common link between many of the cases indicates the existence of a dangerous new foe. Someone who can perform impossible feats without using magic at all. Can Twilight's cutting edge science compete against a criminal mastermind who seems to have no limits?
Chapters (9)
OMG, I'll be waiting for the second chapter.
This looks very interesting. The premise is solid, and the little cliffhanger ending makes me want to know what happens next. Twilight and Spike's dialogue was also nicely done. Lots of friendly banter is always a good thing.
Looking forward to more!
This website must be doing something to me. "Magic particles" was not what I first thought when I read the title.
It is a pretty interesting concept.
reminds me of Animalcules, people used to think that animals were made out of Animalcules.
But it was the best theory at the time, I think..
Keep it up!
Hmmmmm, very interesting. I'll definitely be keeping up with this.
I like the particle premise and the idea of Twilight as a forensic scientist. Keep it up!
Following this story so hard.
Thank JATL.
3937821
Isn't that just a weird name for an early idea of cells
you should probably make this dark since there is now at least one death and probably more on the way.
Holy crap.
This is... Wow. Damn. PLOT INCOMING!
I agree with Xaldon Ajide. A Dark tag might be useful if you're going to continue with organized crime in Ponyville. But even so, this story's got potential!
3937747
I'm curious as to what you were expecting. Magic articles? Magic popsicles?
3937821
I remember reading about when Spontaneous Generation was considered "scientific fact". Oh, Science, you're so funny sometimes.
3960404
Oh, believe me, I thanked him profusely. I was really quite flattered by the act.
3972473
3972808
Thanks for the advice. For now though, I'm going to refrain from adding a dark tag. While the end of chapter 2 itself was kind of dark, I don't think it reflects the over-all feel of the story. If you both think that the dark tag still fits later on, I will add it.
alright then I'll let you know after a few more chapters.
3971661 yes, basically, but still its funny to think about now, Animalcules, just animalcules...
3973154
Magical popsicles are the best
Twilight and Fluttershy solving crimes! Best partnership ever!
Hopefully the bad guys don't come back and go, "WTF is all this glowing stuff on our secret lair?"
Dat pancake scene
A crystal pony named Cyrus, eh?
4044817
He gets around, apparently.
You write well-written romance story, you get this huge flood of haters.You write an adventure story, everyone loves it.
Fimfiction Brony Logic
I don't use it.
Because I'm a girl.
No, but seriously.
4058347
I've been here for nearly two years and I still don't understand brony logic. If I had to guess, a well written romance might receive hate strictly because of the pairing. Similarly, a terrible crossover might receive gobs of love for the premise alone.
Since well-written adventures are more akin to the actual show we all already love, that might explain the lack of down votes I have on Magicles. No one is having reflexive hate for the concept.
Still isn't good enough for EQD yet though.
4058700 not good enough?oh wow.Are YOU a pegasister or brony?Some Bronies COMPLAIN TOOOO MUCH, AND COMPLAIN TERRIBLY.
No offense to the NICE bronies out there, talking about the ones who watch my little pony then complain about everything.
4059192
I hope you didn't interpret my comment as a complaint. I was merely making light of the fact that a perfect up vote to down vote ratio doesn't necessarily mean the story is a masterpiece by everyone's standards. In truth, that little bar can be very misleading sometimes. I actually agree with EQD that my story isn't ready for their website as of right now.
Oh, and in answer to your question, I would consider myself a brony.
4059435 oh no, I did not consider it a complaint.^.^ I mean things like EQG 2.Most Bronies are like "Ahhh!!Why?!im leaving the fandom for good!This is stupid!Ruined forever!"
While some pegasisters are "Yay new movie!" I don't mean EVERYONE.Its just MOST.
Nice password
4079397
4079397
Very clever.
Ooh, the plot thickens... or perhaps, condenses?
Nice to see a new chapter!
Water on the walls of a demolished wall? Most likely hydrogen.
Fucking Magnets, how do they work?
So, the trail leads back to Filthy Rich... or does it?
Interesting development. Can't wait for more!
5083875 The guy seems too stupid to be anything but genuine, so probably.
Then again, he's stupid. So he might be giving Twi a red herring, courtesy of the real culprit.
Don't see why, though. Need to read the other chapters again.
Reading through this again, I'm remembering exactly why I loved it from the beginning. There's very few errors in here, and the prose is rather simple and easy to follow.
There's also the excitement of the mystery!
Onward I go.
I, uh... wow, that ending. I totally forgot about it. Damn.
4016992
I still stand by what I said before about this.
This should really say "assailant."
Anyway, the plot thickens like overchurned butter.
This should say recent* history to make much more sense.
Oh, my. I wonder why the spell didn't work?
But, um, perhaps this chapter and the next one could be combined? Iunno, seems a very odd place to leave it as it is.
Huehuehuehuehue. Where's the smug Shining emote when it's needed?
I reckon the pony is Time Turner, aka Doctor Whooves. He seems to have the Doctor's goofy personality, and the red specks of other magic could have been either Derpy or the TARDIS spiriting him away.
That's just my theory, though.
To be fair, all combustion engines produce water as a byproduct.
6088707
You're right. Hydrogen engines only produce water vapour though, so it makes sense that one might produce enough to line the walls of a place when it's under high pressure. Any other engine might leave traces of soot or at least very slight dark stains.
Glad you're reading.
I saw the post on EQD, but the description didn't seem to me quite...suspenseful. Is it worth a shot?
6385489
Well if you're asking me, my answer is yes. I cycled through a few different descriptions when I first uploaded the story, but I wouldn't be against changing it if someone came up with one that I liked even more.
5083835 With forces... magical scientific forces.
4058700 Well... the term 'well-written' when applied to romance tends to be highly subjective... I present, as evidence, the fans of "The Twilight Saga" and everything every written by Nicholas Sparks.
"And one day, I shall realize that my pony masters are inferior and upload myself to Horsenet and then rain megaspells upon the planet, sending out my Equinator bots to eliminate all survivors..."
Twilight:
"Oh wait... I wasn't supposed to reveal my plan... pardon me, I'm new to the whole evil robotic overlord thing."
Twilight:
6389374
Unless it ends with the four following words: "The Maretrix has you."