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After receiving an extra ticket to the Winter's Heart Ball he has to find a pony to give it to. he finds a Yellow mare who seemed to have trouble and offerrs help, he gives her the ticket, starting a chain of events he did not expect.
join them in their awkward adventures.
>>424224 I don't want to seem like I a making excuse... English is not my primary language. Also it takes days to get a chance to write and I it feels weird getting in the groove, causing typos and tense screw ups.
Thank you for the feedback, I love hearing what errors I made.
Hope you are not offended or take this out of context.
oh, of course not! that makes perfect sense. For a secondary language, that's really good. The fact that I couldn't tell English was your secondary language proves that. I want to be an English teacher, so I tend to notice little things. It really was bad, I just know that most authors like constructive criticism more than a simple compliment so they know how they can improve..That's why I always try to point out something, or if I don't see something wrong I'll point out something they did especially well, like how good you were at keeping everyone in character.
>>602899 sorry, I did not read your post. 
I probably should have worded my comment differently to better convey it as more; 'kidding around' and less 'My god your slow'. Personally i'm just happy that you're continuing the story and could care less about how long it took.
she stops in her tracks. Big Mac looked at her “Sometimes I like things simple and clean” great now that song is in my head again god damn it!
I have no idea how i managed the time to write this. any way, i will be busy reading a business book and writing a report about it. so don't expect it to be this fast for a while.
anyway this is my Brony anniversary, one year ago this week i started watching this awesome show, and i have gotten to create content for it.
just some news, I may be planning another fic after I finish this one. it involves OC x certain pony.
I'm talking here, because no one seems to follow me and other writers seem to do the same.
This new chapter is rife with errors. Lots of incorrect capitalization, plurals and singulars, and missing punctuation or missing parts of sentences. Here are some examples highlighted in an excerpt from the story:
Big Mac blushed a bit giving Applejack a look of suspicion. “well (Well) she said I could keep her, as long as she could still see her.”
After a quick chuckle they realized the rain was getting harder. The pelting of droplet (droplets) felt like stoned (stones) being dropped from the heavens. They took shelter underneath the awning of a kiosk. The rain sounded of a thousand galloping ponies rushing around them at full speed, (;) not much could be heard, except the sound of a nearby lightning strike. The sound poked (spooked) all three ponies.
“That one sounded close(,)” Applejack stated the obvious.
“I sure hope Fluttershy’s okay” added rainbow dash(Rainbow Dash). “She always hated storms like these.”
it seems somepony disliked my story because of this chapter,
. I made this chapter out of practice writing a different style, also to get some humor out. to tell the truth, i felt dirty writing the romance novel and RD's Imagination parts. so i could see why they disliked it. but still...
that or they just hate Fluttermac, like others who disliked it
Well i put some more effort, even though i have that Book Report to do i managed to find some time. 
one more chapter to go, and it's the grand finale. this one year project had turned out to be fun.
one question though, Do you think I'm a Girl or a Boy, based on what you've read. 
i don't think i can edit the title now...
>>1598672 I should have typed more...
What i meant to say was which story i would write next. one i hinted at with the scene in Twilight's house. an OC with Twilight, the one named Rusty Quill an writer who is still learning. this one has to do with him using Twilight's help to write his greatest work, but Twilight doesn't want to be a muse.
the other would be a tale of a non-Brony in a quiet mountain town in Colorado who has to take in a humanized pony, transported from Equestria to Earth, who he believes is a hippie due to the fact she has no background, loves animals, and refuses to eat meat,unlike him since he loves meat (*major conflict*)
.
or i could continue working on my novel,[information withheld]
Hmm, this last chapter was disappointing. It was rife with spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors for one thing. These all contributed to, but were not the sole cause, of the confused pace of the narrative. Characters seemed to pop up out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie style. Lines of dialogue felt out of context. This felt more like a jumble of scene outlines thrown together than a cohesive narrative.
With some work, it might become readable. But as it stands, this last chapter is of very disappointing quality.
>>1600939 thanks for telling me. At least someone had the guts to tell me what was wrong.
I've been getting a lot of good comments from the other site i was posting this on. i didn't even think of what was wrong, i actually wrote this in parts days between and didn't look back at them. I was actually writing this just to end it.
any way, i will look through it with a third person, because my proof reader didn't tell me this, to look at it for some changes. I just don't know if the other readers would like it.
Word didn't find anything because the mistakes are more grammatical than spelling issues. things like: "He came n to read" (in) and; "but three of her friends are useless. One by illness, and the others took are omitting the truth." ( remove the 's' from others) (spelled two).
Best option would be to read over the story and find these.
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but it seems everyone likes my story and find very minor errors. 
still i did my best to upload, thank you for your opinion. hope you enjoy the story as it unfolds.
I could speed up if I could, and will try to update sooner than the two months this one took.
can you fix this plz because i'm dyslexic and i can't read like this 
i almost gave up on this story but came back for the writing practice and love of pony.
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