Twilight Sparkle is experiencing some strange new symptoms when she's around one of her friends. She's worried that it might be a new illness. Perhaps Twilight is wrong and the feelings she's dealing with are something else entirely.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 30th Aug, 2013
- offline last seen Yesterday
keulan742
"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist." - Dom Helder Camara
keulan742
Joined 30th Aug, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- MysteriousStranger · 2.2k words · 201 16 · 7.3k views
- Blue Dragon · 7.1k words · 112 8 · 4k views
- flutterdash1 · 3k words · 150 6 · 3.8k views
- Uncr3at1ve · 1.4k words · 41 7 · 1.8k views
- ThaStrangr · 11k words · 65 10 · 3.6k views
- Starlight Shadow · 1.1k words · 167 5 · 5k views
- cealdra · 1.4k words · 46 1 · 1.2k views
- BiriSpark · 2.8k words · 85 2 · 3.7k views
Featured In22
Shipping 💖11,669 stories ·9,737 members
The Fillyfoolers3,946 stories ·3,488 members
Twishy504 stories ·1,121 members
- Organized Shipping (Most Common)2,159 stories ·1,332 members
Twilight is Best Pony6,371 stories ·3,071 members
- F/F ships2,904 stories ·1,412 members
Short Stories5,069 stories ·547 members
Twilight's Library6,257 stories ·4,834 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.193 seconds
Total duration
1,048 users online
1,837,630 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Cute. I don't think Fluttershy would be that forward, but still cute.
I didn't expect this to be approved so fast. Wow.
This is my first story. If you think it's terrible, please be specific about any problems you had with it. I'd like to improve my writing skills.
3357231 I was worried about that part, but I figured Fluttershy would be more likely to act on her feelings if she got confirmation that Twilight felt the same way.
3357425 Oh its fine really, I'm no literary critic. Its a cute little story and should be enjoyed on its merits.
Cute, but very rushed. Your technical skill is fine, but you should work on your storytelling.
Edit: To clarify, this is actually pretty good for a first try. I can see what you were going for. You just didn't make the most of your conflicts.
Could elaborate a bit more, but I enjoyed it.
3357818>>3357751 Thanks. I do tend to be laconic in my writing. I'll have to work on that in the future.
3357846 Also, The beginning of this story reminded me this one. Experiments.
3357869 Yeah, I can see the similarity. I based Twilight's obliviousness to her feelings on my own experiences. I tend to be unaware that I have a crush on someone until I stop and think about it.
Yay! More TwiShy! We don't have enough of this ship
I say that because unlike some OTHER ponies Twilight has been shipped with, Fluttershy is an excellent match for her, personality-wise
Cute little story, and having Fluttershy walk in right in the middle of Twilight's ramblings, and then have that NOT turn out to be a coincidence, was a nice touch. Go Rarity!
Nice job for a first try. Very solid, has potential, but improvements can always be made.
The pacing is a little too quick, but other than that, this is so sweet!
Yay!
3357846
"Laconic" isn't quite the word I'd use. Brevity isn't a bad thing for a writer, but without a decent plot the story is nothing. (Literally.)
Seen this type of story before, but I liked some of your personal touches. Like Fluttershy walking into the library with Twilight talking aloud about her feelings.
3357425
Well, one thing is the book titles. You underline them if you are writing it with a utensil, but online, you italicize.
A new twishy story? HOLD EVERYTHING! *Reads*
*Later* That was cute and sweet at once. Could have been a bit longer, but then if that is the way you planned it then that's fine. Did like the moment Fluttershy strolled in to Twilight's rambling; never seen that happen before. Good job for your first story
Pacing is the only thing wrong here, but this is the best TwiShy story I've read so far, so here's a mustache!
3374590 Thanks.
I'm a new writer and this is my first story, so it's probably not the best TwiShy story on this site.
It's a short but cute story. And since I've already read it once, I just needed to do a quick skim to remind myself of the details before getting it approved for the Library.
tinyurl.com/mbho6go
(Just one suggestion, though: when you mention book titles in your text, italics look better than underlining.)
3376644 Thanks.
Also, I edited it so the book titles are now in italics instead of underlined.
3376675
Looks nice.
Short and sweet, I liked it
Quite a nice short read, perfect for satisfying my Twishy feels
Oh, and this?
PERFECTION
Perfection, my fellow shipper. Loved that bit.
3429612 I'm glad you liked it.
I'm glad so many people liked this story. I wasn't expecting this from my first story. There are so many stories on this site that are better than mine.
Short, sweet, and adorable. Normally I like a bit of conflict, but this story was just too cute.
Solid idea, but the pacing makes me feel like I'm runnin a marathon. Also, while they are, arguably, in character the rushed feel of the story quickly takes everyone out of character.
The dialogue has the idea of them, but only just. There's a whole bit of exposition that's just left to "Welp, I like Fluttershy."
More than once!
In the future, remember to take your time. Show me what's going on. You obviously have stories to tell, so tell them! Don't just sum it up!
This is the best TwiliShy/FlutterSparkle (I don't know what to call it)story i'v ever seen. keep up the amzing work!
3676488 Thanks, but I'm sure it's not the best TwiShy story on this site.
I am planning to write another story, and it might be a sequel to this one, if I can stop procrastinating.
Really good story line, only one reason why i wont fav (i will like though) and thats because i just perfer twidash stories over twilight x fluttershy stories (mixing there names does not even sound right!) but cheers to your future fan fic!
It had a nice sort of sweet... How do I call it... Innocence about it.
It was rather well written for a first fic, I guess, but it could with a little more depth.
Good luck with your future stories and thank you for writing this one.
Adorable fic. Short, sweet, and I loved the innocent feel about it.
>>ABronyJohn
Omg that avatar just love it
Says my little pony through megaphone at school 500 new bronies ftw
Oh dear lord rarity thinking of replacing cadence are u cuz i think u could
Good job there keulan, was your first fanfic tough? Well, keep up the good work, oh and can you please make another chapter. You don't have to, ya know.
4603223 It wasn't hard, but not really easy either, I guess. I worked on this story for 3 or 4 weeks, until I felt it was decent enough to submit it for approval. I wasn't expecting this many people to like it.
Sorry, I intended this story to be a single-chapter one-shot, so I won't be writing more chapters. I've been thinking of writing a sequel to it, but I tend to procrastinate so you might not see that for a while.
4605567 That's alright
4605567 SEQUALZ FOR DAYZ!!!
I. WANT. A. SEQUEL!
Um i-if that is ok with you that is 
Good work on this one and i relay liked it, then again i like all TwiShy. And another plus because you captured the characters relay well, but a minus because due to the phasing they kind of all out of character.
I'll give this one a 9/10 The only thing that is keeping that 10/10 from you is the phasing, it's a bit to fast, but everything else was great for a first attempt, hell you did better then my first attempt.
Yes that was very shameless promotion of me sorry
~Tobben
6238562 I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was a bit too fast paced I suppose. That's something I'll have to work on if I can stop procrastinating long enough to write another story.
6238888
Yea procrastination makes fools of us all. I wish you good luck in the future anyways.
~Tobben
This story does show its age quite a bit now; it's a shame you never published anything else. Twilight seems oddly dense at times, while Dash feels too sensible -- especially for 2013. Rarity's characterisation is much better, though, and is easily the most convincing. A shame the ending doesn't ring true.
7746633 I wrote this story between seasons 3 and 4, and it's actually set before Twilight became a princess, so yeah, it's very dated now. I meant to write more stories, and I even typed up a few ideas for stories in the months after I published this. I procrastinate a lot, so I never really got around to writing anything else, and now I don't really have time to write stories anyway. Maybe someday I'll write another story, but don't expect it anytime soon.
I don't expect any Mane Six ships to ever become canon, though TwiShy is one of my favorites because it's such an adorable ship.
Well shit that was cut dry print and done.... a Drive by shipping if you were