55w, 6dBlackWing is Awesome
After spending some time with his family, Alex got on the plane with them and headed home. He arrived in the morning, and his family headed off to their jobs. Having the day off, he started to think about the night he had gotten drunk.
"What a crazy dream that was. Well, it's the fourth day. I'll find out today whether or not I'm crazy. I'm super hungry, might as well make some food." Alex had two passions. The first was obviously his wood working. The second was cooking. He loved to make new meals. Normally breakfasts or lunches. Once in a while he'd eat something pre made, but he usually took the time to make something for himself. It relieved his boredom.
"Crack the eggs, gentle two. Grated cheese, peppers few. Add some parsley, herbs and spice, perfect omelette made just right." He sang a little tune as he cooked it. He put it on his plate, and cleaned the pan while it cooled. He savoured the smell, cut off a small piece, brought it to his mouth, and closed his teeth on empty air. Opening his eyes, he saw Celestia, in the familiar stone room.
"So close...." He said sullenly.
"Hello again. I trust you are in better spirits this time?" She looked at him, sitting on the stone floor.
"Why yes. I am feeling much better. Was about to have breakfast in fact. I'm also not drunk, so I can't use that as an excuse for why I'm seeing a magical talking princess pony. I'm either crazy, or this is real." He said, getting to his feet.
"I can assure you, this is quite real." The creature standing before her was an enigma.
"I guess I'll take your word for it, umm. Oh this is embarrassing. I've forgotten your name." Alex blushed.
"I am Princess Celestia. Along with my sister, Luna, I rule Equestria. I believe you neglected to give me your name when last we met, but given your state of mind at the time, your rude behaviour will be forgiven." The sun princess said sternly.
"Ah, yes, pardon my manners. My name is Alex, nice to meet you, for the second time. I have some questions, if you don't mind?" He said with a slight bow.
"I have questions for you as well." She stated.
"Then how about one for one?" He asked. She raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"You ask me a question, then I'll ask you one? We take turns until one of us runs out of questions, then the other asks the remainder of theirs." He suggested. She agreed.
"What are you?" She asked.
"My species is known as human. Closest similar species is the ape. We're basically tailless, hairless, except for the top of our heads and certain other areas, highly intelligent monkeys." Celestia thought it strange that a creature similar to a monkey was the dominant species of his world. She wondered if they acted like monkeys as well.
"I take it that ponies are the dominant species here. I've never seen a pony with a horn or wings before. Seeing as how you have both, I take it both pegasi and unicorns exist in this land. As for how I got here, looking at the circle I'm standing in, I'd say I was summoned by some sort of magic ritual, you being the caster. In which case, magic also exists in this land. So, a question, hmm, okay. Why did you summon me?"
Celestia was astounded by his reasoning ability. "I summoned you, because well, as the ruler of this country, I never had any free time, up until recently. Due to my sister returning from a thousand year banishment to the moon, she has taken over many royal duties, which I had been performing. I hadn't had this much free time in a milennia, so, I got bored. I started with smaller things, but then I decided to just cast out my line and see what I got. I got you." She explained.
"Alright, my turn. How is it you can walk on two legs without any tail? By all logic you should fall over either forwards or backwards without one." She asked. When she finished her question, she saw that he had picked up his right leg, crossing it over his left by the knee. He stood on one leg, whistling.
"Now you're just being ridiculous." She said with a laugh. At least this 'human' had a sense of humor.
"As for how, we have extremely sensitive feet, with two solid area's on them, one forward, and the other backward." He explained, taking off the shoe on his right foot, and pointing out the areas. "With practice, we can stand on one leg as well, although there isn't really any purpose for it other than martial arts. Since our feet are sensitive, walking without shoes would cause immense pain. We wear rubber shoes to cushion our feet, and socks to protect them from abrasion from the shoe." He explained, putting the sock and shoe back on, and standing on two legs again.
"Okay, you said your sister had a one thousand year banishment to the moon, that mean you and her are either immortal, or live for a very long time. I doubt that all ponies live that long, it's probably something to due with why you're royalty, or maybe the royal blood line. I don't know anything about magic, much less summoning, but just throwing out a line to see what you catch seems dangerous. The only reason you would do it is if you were immensely powerful, and thus confident. Given your name, 'Celestia' and the sun on your flank, I take it you have something to do with the sun. Given your lifespan, that would make you the sun godess of this world, dimension, whatever. Your sister's name was 'Luna' which in my world, is latin for moon. Given her name, and that you are of the sun, I take it she's the moon godess, and the two of you are responsible for the day night cycle." Celestia was appalled, and intrigued at the same time. This creature was taking every little thing she said, and using sound logic to derive a great deal more information about their world then she provided.
"You're thinking awfully clearly for somepony who just got pulled from their world into another one." She stated.
"I like puzzles." He replied simply.
"You also just said somepony. We speak the same language, although with some words being different, and have similar species in our two worlds. We both have a moon, we both have alcohol. My guess is that my world is an alternate dimension of yours, or vice versa. One where the dominant species is evolved from monkeys, and the other, ponies. I'm not making this very fun for you by guessing everything myself am I?"
She smiled. "You are correct. What's your next question?"
"I just asked it, remember?" He smiled back. She looked at him thoughtfully. Endless tact and wit. She could grow to like this human.
"You said you were about to have breakfast, what do humans eat?" She asked.
"Well, we're omnivores, so we eat grains like bread and dough, vegetables, fruits, dairy, and meat." He suddenly realized that telling a royal pony godess, powerful enough to make him into a splatter on the wall, that he ate meat was a bad idea. She looked a little disturbed.
"What kind of meat?" She asked nervously.
"Um, well, mostly chicken, pig, cow, and fish." He replied, swallowing hard. She looked thoroughly disgusted.
"What about pony?" She asked, thinking about sending him back and never bringing him near again.
"Honestly? In some cultures, yes. However, in mine, it's considered disgusting. It's not illegal, but it's certainly a mild taboo." He said nervously. She looked at this creature in a new light, and it wasn't a very good one. They were like monsters who would eat anything and everything they came across.
"How can you eat ponies, or cows for that matter! They have families, jobs, lives!" She had trouble understanding.
"Tell me, do dogs talk in your world?" He asked.
"Well, no, except diamond dogs, but they aren't really dogs." She didn't understand.
"In my world, neither do ponies, cows, sheep, or pigs. In fact humans are the ONLY species in my world capable of speech or rational thinking. The rest are just.... animals, like fish. And, often times, animals eat other animals." He explained, sweating.
Celestia thought about a certain griffin diplomat that had visited several times, making the mistake of asking for venison. Deer were not sentient, despite being cloven quadrupeds. They were mere animals, and the griffins ate them.
"In all fairness, humans don't actually NEED to eat meat. It's the most readily available source of iron, which is needed, or else we'll bleed to death. We can get it from other sources, such as mushrooms, potatoes, and such, as well as eggs. Lots of humans choose to, becoming vegetarians. I was having a parsley and herb omelette this morning, before you brought me here. It's actually still waiting on my kitchen table." She felt a little better at hearing that they weren't actually monsters that went into pony's homes at night and snatched them up.
"So, have you ever killed for food?" She asked. It was his turn to answer a question, but he decided it would be better to answer hers first.
"I've only ever caught fish. Most humans don't know how to hunt. We just buy it from a store. So, no, I guess." His answer put her at ease. No longer having to worry about him sinking his teeth into the first thing that couldn't kill him, she had finally calmed down. Wait, what if this was a trick? He was a summoned familiar, he could be lying.
"Stand on one leg." She commanded. He obeyed instantly.
"Jump up and down." He obeyed again.
"Tell me a silly rhyme."
"There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He awoke with a fright, in the middle of the night, to find that his dream had come true. Is there a point to any of this?"
"Stop talking." He obeyed.
"Stop breathing." He obeyed again, tears streaming out of his eyes as his lungs burned for air. He started to turn blue.
"Okay, you can talk and breathe again." He took a huge gasp of air, and fell over, panting.
"Are you trying to kill me!?!? I kind of NEED air to live you know! Wait a minute, why couldn't I disobey you? What the hell is going on here!" He yelled.
"Be quiet." She commanded. He obeyed.
"Part of conjuration is that the summoned, known as a familiar, is physically unable to disobey the conjurer. I am the conjurer, and you are the familiar. Basically, you have to do what I say, regardless of if you want to or not." She explained. He just sat there quietly.
"You can talk again."
"So pretty much, as long as I'm here, I'm your slave?" Alex asked.
"That's right." Celestia replied.
"And whenever you get annoyed, you're going to summon me here, and make me hold my breath till I almost die?" He was upset. She got upset that he thought she was that cruel. Then again, she did just make him hold his breath till he turned blue in the face.
"I'm sorry, I had to know if it would work." She explained.
"Why?" He asked.
"Because, familiars will often lie to their summoners in order to trick them. Tell me the truth, is what you told me before true, in it's entirety?" She asked.
"Yes." He replied.
"Good, you are never to lie to me." She commanded.
"It's just that I had to make sure what you were saying was the truth. If you were a danger to this land or it's people, I'd have to send you back, and never bring you here again. As Equestria's ruler, I have a responsibility to protect it's people, even if that means never seeing the most interesting creature I've ever talked to again." She said with a small frown.
"Interesting? I'm interesting? I'm average in every imaginable way. I'm slightly taller than normal, I have a low paying job, which is normal for someone my age, I have a normal family, do normal things. Life it utterly BORING. This is by far the most interesting thing to ever happen to me. Despite not being able to move around as I please, I like it here. It's something about this place. The air is, clean. But so much more than that, it smells like the air here has never even known a bad smell, like they don't even exist. It's smells slightly sweet, like sunshine on the morning dew of freshly cut grass. When I'm here, there's also a kind of tingle in the air, like static, except calmer. I don't know what it is."
"That would be magic you're feeling. Odd, most can't feel it. It takes a very long time to be able to sense it." Celestia mused.
"Probably because my world doesn't have magic. It like jumping into a pool I guess. You weren't in the water before, but now you are. If you had always been in the water, you wouldn't know the difference." Alex explained.
"If you don't have magic, then how did you know about the summoning circle?" She asked.
"Just because we don't have magic, doesn't mean we don't have imagination."