Fluttershy doesn't want to spend Hearts and Hooves day alone, and a certain white unicorn makes sure she doesn't.
Just a mellow little story I wrote with Fluttershy and Rarity. A little late for Valentine's Day, but I thought it was still cute *shrugs*. It can be read as either very close friendship or romance, but I put it under romance as not to offend anyone. I'd put it under the Sad tag but it's only sad for about ten seconds so yeah. It's not very long either, maybe it's too short. Dunno. My first story here c:
Chapters (1)
That was cute
Kyoot indeed
Awwwww, that was sweet. Ya did a great job.
Adorable story, nice one-off.
I loved reading this, it was refreshing; below is a precise, nit-picking review of the story that you can read at will, however I must warn you that the review is mainly compliments and criticism about grammar.
Overall review:
5/5
Grammar: 4.5/5
Sentence structure: 4.5/5
Writing: 4.5/5
Story: 5/5
My reaction: 29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lltzgnHi5F1qzib3wo1_400.jpg
You had better grammar and story-writing skills than most of the writers on Fimfiction; I was pleasantly surprised. You knew how to utilise quotation marks correctly and your grammar and spelling in general was flawless, albeit not flashy at all; semicolons and the extravagant stuff was missing. However, that is insignificant as your story doesn't need all of the frills, it being a short one-off RariShy story. The only grammatical error of yours was here: 'smiled, and'; putting a comma before the and is not required and generally not advised; even so, you succeeded on writing a mostly flawless story; it was short so it can't be said how you fare on a longer one but who cares, this one was cute
One more suggestion would be doing 'Fluttershy smiled. "Oh, it's cute.'; that is comprehensible as the subject still is the same, so using a full stop just looks better than a comma.
The story itself was written very well; you overused the comma as it should only be used in front of conjunctions like as, which etc... while you used it in front of other meaningless things like and and to. I still like it that you wrote well, never changing the subject and object of the story mid-sentence or doing any related stupid errors. Well written, especially for someone who is 'failing their English'.
There was D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW-ing of nuclear proportions had all around.
That one person who out thumb down is wrong
Short and sweet. I like it. Well done, youve earned five out of five moustaches and a follow
