Replaced

Pinkie Pie has been the premiere party pony of Ponyville for a long time. Discord is more than happy to lend a hand in party planning, but Pinkie has no desire to be usurped.

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Comments ( 9 )

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Bookworm Guardian

Bookworm Guardian #1 · Oct 5th, 2013 · · ·

I'm sorry to say that I couldn't follow any of that

TheTobacconist

TheTobacconist #2 · Oct 5th, 2013 · · ·

3305537
Please expound upon your statement.

Silver Starlight

Silver Starlight #3 · Oct 5th, 2013 · · ·

It cuts off at a really bad time, so I think you should add some more so as to actually resolve the plot. Also, I think Discord would be more creative than just burning the house down. Maybe he puts a giant stove under the house and the curtains catch fire or something?

TambourineBlossom

TambourineBlossom #4 · Oct 5th, 2013 · · ·

3305964
He's trying to do things by the book.
He's not very good at that.

TheTobacconist

TheTobacconist #5 · Oct 6th, 2013 · 1 · ·

3305964
Pinkie Pie is no longer worried about Discord replacing her. Discord's house in Fluttershy's closet is gone. I honestly see nothing left worth resolving.
Edit: Though I am now wondering if Fluttershy's closet is going to catch fire.

Silver Starlight

Silver Starlight #6 · Oct 6th, 2013 · 1 · ·

3306532 Pinkie sounds far from happy at the end. I know Pinkie said she'll get over it, but I honestly thought that was some kind of melancholic sarcasm. Perhaps you should add some body language. Personally, though, I feel that Pinkie would not take it that well. Parties and bringing joy are her special talent, after all, and being upstaged at your greatest talent sucks no matter who you are.

I honestly think it would be better if you had somebody explain the situation to Discord, and he went off to comfort Pinkie. Maybe reveal that Discord is trying to imitate her parties? Maybe he even gives her some delightfully random gift as a sign of their friendship. Cheesy, I know, but I think it works.

In the end, though, it's your story and I'll respect that if you want to keep it as is.

TheTobacconist

TheTobacconist #7 · Oct 6th, 2013 · · ·

3308541
You're a pretty good critic. But, unfortunately, this was written for one-shotober. I have to write a one-shot every day of October. Maybe I'll come back and edit once November rolls around.

Themaskedferret