Daring Do has been through many scrapes in her hunt for treasure and has always come through unscathed. That is, if you don't count the crippled wing she got on her first adventure. An injury that no longer permits her to fly.
Now when an old colleague and friend, the investigator Epsilon Hoof, comes to visit, he brings interesting news. After so long working seperately with very differing jobs, Epsilon asks for her help.
Daring Do and Epsilon Hoof must investigate a series of murders surrounding a treasure long thought to be nothing but a fantasy; the Teardrop Keystone. The victims had evidence bringing to light the location of this artifact, and the dangerous power it has. Now Daring Do and Epsilon must bring the criminal to justice while racing against a mysterious organization with their own plans to take the keystone for themselves.
Interested? Intrigued perhaps? Then read on fellow literate.
Branded teen with gore just in case I do happen to come across that bridge, which I think I will.
I must say, not bad for your first fanfiction. There were some grammar and spelling mistakes, but other than that, I thought it was a very enjoyable read.
The answer is Scotland Yards! Am I correct?!
Its an interesting idea, yes. But I'm not too sure if it fits the idea of Daring Do. She's more of an explorer than an investigator. Still, since they did leave her name in the previous chapter, its as good a reason as any to get involved. Would also like to see more focus on Daring's wing. Flying is one of the most important things to a pegasus pony. Losing the ability to fly would be a crushing blow. We're not really seeing too much of that from Daring right now though. Still, this could just be the start to an amazing adventure. Keep up the good work.
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Yes, the answer is Scotland Yard. I know Daring Do isn't much of an investigator, but the treasure hunting aspect of my stories has yet to kick in. You'll see that side of her soon enough. I do plan on addressing her inability to fly in later chapters. I promise I'll do my best to satisfy your swashbuckling side in this and future stories. What? You don't think this will be my only story involving Epsilon and Daring Do, do you?
First off, thanks for the comment!
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Well, I'm just concerned. Mysteries aren't Daring Do's area of experise. Without treasure hunting, it doesn't have the feel of a Daring Do story. And I'm more concerned for the emotional problems a pegasus would have without wings. Heck, they live in the clouds. It must be like exile.
And no, not really. I read you plan to have multiple stories made, which was part of the reason I decided to give this a try. Something that may interest you though, people are working on a Daring Do series. If you look up Daring Do on TV Tropes, you'll find a page about the stories currently in development. Currently, only one has begun posting, Daring Do and the Cloud-Held Eternity. Right here on FimFiction, actually! I would know I suppose, I'm the main editor to the story.
Anywho, I wish you luck. I'll be watching this story now.
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I'll do my best not to dissapoint!
Very nice start!
You've set up an interesting premise and didn't waste any time in introducing the main plot element. You've made the personalities of the OCs quickly apparent, which is always good, and they're quite likeable too.
The only issues I can spot are a few typos here and there, but a quick comb-over of each chapter should fix that up quickly.
This is my first Daring Do fanfic, I'll admit, but you've got a strong start, and I look forward to seeing where this is going!
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Thanks a lot!
Wait a minute...
This chapter is the average length for one of my chapters...
Whatever. I still think it was rushed.
Again, good job! I like the action in this chapter, although I think it wouldn't hurt to add in some more descriptions - I felt the third to last paragraph, with them trussing up Jackof, was, as you thought, a bit rushed. I'd recommend extending that scene a bit, adding in some length and such. For instance: "The other disciples leaped down from the balcony and gagged and tied Jackof." might be changed to something along the lines of "With a leap from the balcony, the other disciples aimed straight for Jackof. Though he struggled, it wasn't long before they'd managed to gag him, tying him up tight with coils of rope and dragging him out." That's just a very rough example, whipped up in a few seconds, and I am by no means trying to write your story for you. It's just that sort of general idea I'm trying to convey.
Nonetheless, I still greatly enjoyed the chapter! You're starting to really pick up the pace here, and it's good to finally see these mysterious villains. I'm curious as to who Celestia's Disciples are, and I think it'll be interesting to see more from them. Good job!
Also, Redwall reference!
Although I am severely disappointed I didn't catch that until you pointed it out. 
Looking forward to more!
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I think you and I could be good friends. Anyway, it is rushed, but I don't enjoy going back and editing after I've already published. It goes against what my code of writing is here on fimfiction. I know that's lame too, but hey, what can I do? 
You read Redwall? Ah-ha-ha YES!
Like I said, I will try to make the next chapters a lot better, and Celestia's Disciples will be included more. Although, as far as villains go...
Wait! Nope! No spoilers will go in here! And thanks for reading and the comment! Glad you like it.
Sorry it took me so long to get around to reviewing this!
Anyway, I'm already seeing a lot of improvement in the writing.
There's still a ways to go, and you could still probably do with more description on the places they visit, but there is definitely more detail this time around, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. 
You want feedback on Hydro? I thought he was great!
He's a pretty funny character, and having someone insane is always fun to read. And don't worry, he's still very likable. 
Also, glad to see some hints of Celestia's Disciples - I take it that's who 'Ragged' saw? Good way of adding some more mystery and intrigue to the tale, and I like how you're only dropping a few hints here and there, and saving the reveal for later down the road.
Also, I think my favorite lines of the chapter are:
"He was absolutely taken with Ruby. And she unwittingly married him!" Daring said.
"How exactly do you do that?"
Great job on doing some more character development, and I love the little teasing going back and forth between Jett, Daring Do, and Ruby. It shows some more of their relationship, and adds a sense that the trio are all good friends, and have been for quite some time. I think the only problem I'm seeing so far is a lack of Daring Do. We see her, but we don't really know much of what she's thinking, or feeling at certain scenes, and if you're intending to write in third-person limited from Daring's point-of-view (or various characters) then be sure to put down the character's opinions on what's happening. Are they scared, amused, etc.?
And haha, yes, I do read Redwall! I own everything single book, and I've read them all but the last one - I'm just a little reluctant to read "The Rogue Crew" knowing that it's the last Redwall book there will ever be.
But yeah, I absolutely love the series, with "Mariel of Redwall" being my favorite. 
What's yours? And yep, I agree, I do think you and I can be good friends! 
Anyway, again, great chapter! I look forward to seeing more from you, and remember, the critique is only because I know you have the potential to become an amazing writer, and I just want to help in any small way I can.
Looking forward to more of Daring Do's adventure!
- Aw yeah!
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And I'll try to put the characters reactions to various scenes in the story. And more description of the places.
Glad to see I'm improving. And glad to see you like Hydro! As for the teasing, I did intend for it to show some more characterization of Jett, Daring, and Ruby. And I know Daring really isn't active in these first few chapters. But remember, these are only the first five chapters. At the very least, I'm gonna have 30 chapters. Trust me. Daring will get more involved later in the story.
As far as the Redwall series, I haven't read all of them. I still need to read Outcast of Redwall, The Bellmaker, Salamandastrom, Marlfox, Eulalia!, Doomwyte, and The Rogue Crew.
It's a three way tie between High Rhulain, Triss, and Lord Brocktree. The main reason; the characters. I love the ottermaid Tiria Wildlough in High Rhulain. Triss was the first redwall book I ever read, so it holds a special place in my heart. Also, Triss is my favorite squirrel in the series. And Dotti the haremaid is an absolute joy to read in Lord Brocktree. It's so hard to decide a favorite book!
...Dayum...
My favorite book? Hmmm.
And I too am loath to finish the series, considering he passed away last year. Your memory lives forever in Redwall Brian Jacques!
Soooo...Thanks for the critique!
First off - I have to apologize for such a late review! I've been really busy, and I'm only just now getting a chance to catch up on updates for your story.
Anyway, you're improving by leaps and bounds! There was a whole lot of description in this chapter, and I really got a feel for the place you were describing. Great job on painting the picture, there - each setting was clear and easy to see in my head, and I applaud you on that.
My only bit of advice on your descriptions would be to vary the sentence structure a bit. There's a lot of "noun verb, noun verb" going on, and not too much else. Try starting off with a gerund, or participle, and do something like, "Looking around, Daring spotted a clue", instead of "Daring looked around and spotted a clue". (Note, these are just examples I pulled out of thin air, and not from your story.) Besides that, and a few typos here and there, I think you did a wonderful job on this chapter, and that you showed a lot of improvement! If you continue with this pace, your story's going to be fantastic by the end. 
Also, don't worry about the romance! Maybe it's 'cause I'm a sap, or what, but I find it absolutely adorable that Jett has a crush on Daring, and, I'll admit, I'm a sucker for the type where the girl is just completely oblivious to the guy's feelings.
More good characterization, and some good info and worldbuilding with the talk of the mines and the incidents there. Brother's certainly an interesting character, and I can easily see him as being the 'lovable rogue' type, so I won't object if he appears more in this. Don't fret about Jett's and Ruby's cutie marks - unless they play a key role in the narrative, don't feel pressured to add them in if you don't want to. If you do, then that's great! But if you don't, don't worry about it.
Off to the next chapter!
Hey there! Glad to see such a fast update from you, and I understand the feeling when you have something you just have to write down, and need to get it done right now.
A good chapter, but I feel like a lot was sacrificed for speed. This chapter lacks the descriptions of the previous one, and the whole first section felt like more of a summary, rather than an actual scene of a chapter. I feel like that could have been a good chance for some banter between all of them, and I would have liked to see exactly how they reacted to finding out they had both met Brother.
Continuing on, it's good to see some of Epsilon, and I like the introduction of this Professor Crane. However, the scene is mostly dialogue. This still manages to work, but some description would have been good too - maybe you could have described the hostility in the air, or Epsilon's tension.
A good chapter, and a good introduction to a new character, but I feel like you missed a lot of opportunities to be descriptive, and I think the opening part could have been an actual scene, with playful dialogue between the main characters as they discussed the day's findings.
Nonetheless, I still very much enjoyed it, and I look forward to more!
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I'll do my best to vary it up.
First off, thanks for being such a diligent and incredible critic! It warms my heart knowing someone enjoys my works. Secondly, as for the chapter introducing Professor Crane, yes, that sucked compared to Brother's chapter. I was working on it in the middle of the night and was too tired and lazy to be descriptive. I suppose putting in things like, "The tension was thick enough to be cut with a knife," would have been good. Man I'm a sorry excuse for an author. As for Jett and Ruby's cutie marks, no they're not key in anything really, so, I there's no need for them, I guess. And thanks for pointing out the tedious sentence structure! I didn't even realize that!
Glad to hear my description and characterization is improving, at least when I'm wide awake. Good to hear Brother's a 'lovable rogue' type and you're looking forward to more. And as for romance, um, I'm not entirely sure where that'll show up again.
Possibly never again. 
I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
So, thanks for the amazing critiques and for being a friend!
Silver, out!
Reading it, there were two main issues that I found with this chapter. One was the spelling and grammer mistakes. Like Dating Do. I actually had to reread the previous few sentences just to make sure I didn't miss something that would explain that. The other thing was the description of Daring dealing with her injury. Something that big should be shown, not told. Maybe in a flashback or something. But I did like how the idea of using a balloon hurts her pride. I loved the way you described it.
So yeah, this was mostly exposition, getting ready for the main adventure. Which can be good, so the reader isn't confused, gets it outta the way early. But I think you should try to find an editor, just for the spelling mistakes. But its still good, can't wait to read more!
I like the Trivial plug. :D
Anyway, I'll agree with you. The chapter felt short. Rushed. Although I wonder why you don't wanna edit things after you upload them. There are advantages and disadvantages for both strategies though. But I feel like you could have made it a lot longer by adding more descriptions.
But I do like the foreshadowing witht the clouds, and I really liked how you ended the chapter. Its good writing, but I felt that you could have done with more descriptions and showing, not telling. But at the same time, the plot is kicking up, and you're just beginning. Keep it up!
I am definitely liking where this is going! Getting caught up with this story is my new priority when I get home from work tomorrow
Also..."Being an investigator from Canterlot Yard" I see what you did there, and I approve
One bigger comment coming up;
Hmm... Interesting concept; not many nowdays tend to make Daring Do fics since the episode hailed quite lenghty time ago, kinda in similar way what has happened with Queen Chrysalis fics. And on other, I think you're trying to tie up two genres; kinda Indiana Jones adventure, treasure hunting type with the Teardrop artifact and ruins. That mixed with this cult that tries to destroy these shadow magic (do tell how come you didn't use the occult word?) artifacts, and them doing this through out terror that, I assume, Daring and her companions will put a stop to (Am I the only one finding a bit similarity to the nazis of the Indiana Jones?)
On refrences; those have been pretty good, especially the Redwall one as I simply adore the series close to my heart along with Narnia -series. Now you only need to rfrence Discworld -series and you deserve a doff of the hat.
And then the overall format...
Now, one thing that strikes me is, as Fox Scarlet put it, the lack of description on the details about the surroundings and for instance, on the actual characters. You didn't really descripe what Dabylon (one refrence I think everyone got) looks like, which would have been a great ending for the chapter 4 instead of blandly stating 'They had arrived at Dabylon'.
Click over here and check out the section 'The Color Purple'. Infact the whole thing is really great source of help, do think of reading it out.
And one thing is DON'T TELL, SHOW US READERS. But don't be dumbfounded, I think every single author has at some point has had this happen and... You haven't actually done that nearly too many times. That shouting is just to warn you for the future.
Cannot really say much else; overall the fic is what you could expect from the Daring Do format (action,foreign lands, treasures, known enemy ec.) , even though you've emphasized difference to other fics about her. Then again, I haven't read single Daring Do fic before and I can assume they try to mostly replicate the book from the actual episode.
In short, do continue to write and improve your skills, like it has been during these eight chapters.
-Hydkore-