Rainbow Dash had never done anything like this before. It was a moment she’d waited for all her life. Now that it was here, it deserved to be seen by everyone. In her precious hooves was a letter of recommendation to the Wonderbolts. She was in! Her life’s dream had been achieved. However, she wouldn’t be called up to serve until next season. She had too much left to do with Twilight and her friends in Ponyville. A loyal friend like her couldn’t abandon them for Canterlot so easily, so this was a fair compromise.
Still, this letter was something to be celebrated and that can mean only one thing; Mounting it in a frame!
“Stupid thing! How do I get it to stay straight?!” Rainbow fussed with the letter. It seemed every time she tried to close the frame, the contents would shift. “Phooey!” This was getting her nowhere. She had taken the whole day off to work on this project, but it was noon and there was no progress. It was time to seek assistance. After all, this letter deserved the best mounting of any letter in Cloudsdale!
She packed up her things in her saddlebag and glided down to Ponyville to ask for help.
Rarity was measuring out fabric patterns for different sizes. She put her pen down to answer the knock at the door. It was Rainbow Dash.
“Rarity! Do you know anything about mounting?”
Rarity was taken back. “Why?! What have you heard?”
“I haven’t heard anything, I just have some questions. I figured you’d be the one to ask. Y’know, cause you’re so creative and fashionable.”
“Oh,” Rarity was relieved. “Of course I am, Rainbow Dash. And, by the way, if you hear anything from the Racquetball Club, they’re all liars! Now what do you need to know?”
“Well, I’ve got something I’ve been trying to mount all morning, but I just can’t get it to fit right.”
The white unicorn was confused. “Um whom have you been trying this with?”
“Well, I’ve been trying this alone.”
A demure laugh spouted from Rarity, “Haha! Rainbow you need a partner for that sort of thing!”
“Yeah, I figured! That’s why I came to you!”
Rarity choked on her laughter. The choking turned to panic. With a simple “Sorry-just-remembered-I-have-a-dental-appointment!”, she rushed Rainbow Dash out the door and locked it.
Rainbow was puzzled and a little bit hurt but she continued on her quest for assistance. Later, she came across Pinkie Pie and Applejack sharing a Real Fruit Smoothie at a small cafe downtown.
“Hey, Applejack! I’d like to do some mounting today! Can you help me out?”
Applejack spit her smoothie across the table. “WHAT?!”
Pinkie Pie giggled.
“You heard me. Mounting is something want done today, and I need a partner.”
“And you want me to do it for ya? Just like that?”, Applejack was petrified.
Pinkie Pie giggled again.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, “Well, I’d LIKE it to be you, but I don’t have all day.”
“So, is that all I mean to you!?” Applejack galloped off in a fit.
“What’s her deal?” Rainbow Dash questioned.
Bless poor Pinkie Pie. She would have told Dash everything, but all her breath was devoted to rolling on the ground laughing hysterically.
That evening, a frustrated Rainbow Dash visited Twilight Sparkle in her library tree. The purple unicorn and the dragon were there working on checklists, as always.
“Twilight, I really need your help. I’ve been trying all day, but I’ve got no answers.”
“What is it, Rainbow Dash?”
“I need help with mounting. I don’t know anything about it and I have so many questions.”
“Spike, go to your room.” Twilight insisted. Spike complied, but only because he was too tired to argue.
Once they were alone, Twilight consoled her friend. “I know how hard it is ask these things. I have some books that will help.” She turned to get the key for her ‘special drawer’ of books.
“OK, can I do it on this table? I promise I won’t make a mess.” Rainbow said.
Twilight paused. “Wait, what exactly are you mounting?”
“I’m mounting this letter from Princess Celestia in a frame. What did you think I meant?”
Twilight panicked. “Wait, have you been asking everypony in town to help you ‘mount’?”
“Um, not everypony, there was just Rarity, and Pinkie Pie, and Applejack, and Pipsquek, and the Racquetball Club...”
Twilight facehoofed. “You do realize that ‘mounting’ is what it’s called when two ponies get together to reproduce, don’t you?”
Rainbow Dash was awash with a look of horror as the events of the past day were replayed in her mind. “Sweet Celestia!”
Twilight spent that evening consoling her friend over weak tea, and made sure the letter was properly mounted in its frame. An hour and a half later, Rainbow Dash was feeling better, and excused herself to use the little filly’s room. While she was gone, Twilight placed the frame on her own wall to admire it.
It truly was a fine mounting.
Just then Rarity burst into the room. “Twilight! You won’t believe what Rainbow said to me today!”
Twilight smirked, “She asked you to help her with mounting?”
“Yes! How did you know?”
“Because she asked me the same thing.”