Nothing much to say except Hello and Have a Nice Day!
John used to be your typical college student looking for a part-time gig until one day, he was offered a job that was too good to be true. Now, he's Discord's most prized student in a world of ponies to learn about friendship. Worst of all, he's having the hardest time trying to smoke without any hands.
Page generated in 0.083 seconds
Total duration
1,021 users online
2,298,662 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This has mountains of potential. Please keep writing this tale
MOAR!!!
There're some glaring (to me, at least) errors here.
This should be split up into two different sentences, like so;
This would work better as "bonded" instead. Or bound.
Nowhere
You repeated Not Going To Be here.
Comma afrer hooves. Or you could use dashes, it works too.
Other than these, this was a good read.
If this doesn't get featured, then someone's messed up
3360490
Oh wow, thanks for the heads up! I should have taken more time editing but I guess that's why i need an editor. lol
Good set up, grammar seems to be in shape, detailed descriptions of what is going on, though not too many that it takes too much time. I enjoy discord very much, he's my favorite character for a reason.
I can see a lot of good coming from this first chapter, and I can't find anything wrong with it to be honest. I looked, and looked, even a third time. I have absolutely no complaints! This is definitely a good plot, and something I don't see too often in terms of discord being used. Not any that I much care for anyway. But enough of my talking! I'm ready for the next chapter!
3362948
Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it and I'm always trying to improve myself. As for the story, I'm already outlining the next chapter and hopefully it gets out within the next week or so. For now, I'm being driven by everyone's comments and my pack of smokes.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
NO! anything but that!
3414867 low blow! LOW BLOW!!!
This is major BS. A comet is a piece of ice that travels in irregular patterns as it orbits the sun. The tail is always trailing away from the sun, and it orbits in an oval shaped pattern. Most comets leave the solar system. Meteors however, burn up in our atmosphere creating streaking lights. A Meteorite is when a meteor impacts the ground. Which happens very rarely.
3422441Thanks for the astronomy lesson. Damn, don't i feel like an idiot.
3422558 eh I wouldn't of cared if it was just getting the two names mixed up. The thing that kinda made me go "wut." Was when it said the fireballs are actually rocks that fall from comets and burn up in our atmosphere. I guess it's kinda true, it's just the rocks are not from comets lol.