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Mrrandomlulz 81613

Joined February 2012
32 followers

    Mrrandomlulz's Stories (8)

    • Pony May Cry
      Devil may cry crossover

      2,152 words · 1,024 views · 38 likes · 3 dislikes
    • Deadpool In Equestria
      Follows the events of UMvC3, and after season 2
      12,723 words · 2,417 views · 81 likes · 14 dislikes
    • Dead Rising : Equestria
      Dead rising crossover
      5,990 words · 1,084 views · 34 likes · 7 dislikes
    • Phoenix Wright: Lawyer In Equestria
      Phoenix Wright winds up in Equestria in an episodic series.
      6,756 words · 844 views · 13 likes · 2 dislikes
    • Injection
      6,613 words · 245 views · 8 likes · 3 dislikes
    • Ponyhunt
      1,956 words · 330 views · 6 likes · 2 dislikes
    • A Story of Insanity
      5,071 words · 230 views · 8 likes · 7 dislikes
    • Imperfect
      1,003 words · 138 views · 1 likes · 0 dislikes
    x

    Deadpool was stunned at the fact he was losing at his own video game , one Capcom had just made him, also Wolverine was tellling him about a portal to another dimension or something.

    "So wait and let me catch up ? You want me to go into the thingy that will happen when Vergil's gate thingy gets shot by Strange's magic thingy?" Deadpool asked, just starting to pay attention.

    Wolverine just sighed and said,

    "Listen, Vergil's sword will open the hellgate which  Doctor Strange will then use his knowledge of the mystic arts to  manipulate it into a portal to the source of the chaotic entity long enough for ONE of us to make it in alive ."

    Deadpool just stared for a second before finally responding "And why me?".

    Wolverine looked him in the eye and said.

    "Because if an idiot like you can survive whatever the hell is on the other side , than so can we."

    Deadpool shrugged and said.

    "Your just jealous of Marvel making me a more likeable character ", to which Everyone replied " Who?".

    Suddenly a muscular man dressed in military clothes by the name of Chris Redfield walked up to Deadpool and sternly said

    "Listen Deadpool, when you get there, no showing off, no dramatic entrances, no random singing, no quoting famous people, no partying, just get the mission done.",

    Everyone nodded but Deadpool simply said " You are no fun, you know that. "

    Suddenly Vergil said "It is time." in his normal calm collected fashion.

    Strange nodded and Vergil walked over to a large stone monolith , that set a humongous shadow making everyone feel rather ... uncomfortable, Vergil simply stabbed the large rock and thrust his sword upward creating a large portal which Strange then sent a bolt of light at.

    As the portal changed everyone expected a horrible terrifying image, as they all looked forward they saw the terrible, horrid ...ponies?

    Deadpool seemed rather unfazed, as though he had expected it, in fact he looked like he was anticipating it .

    As Deadpool jumped through the portal, he bravely  yelled

    " I AM GOING TO DO EVERYTHING YOU TOLD ME NOT TO,AND YOU ARE STILL NO FUN!" as a gesture to his fellow heroes, to a'sure them he would succeed at any cost.


    Applebloom was still mad at herself , she let Discord out and never gave him a piece of her mind , she could've easily beat that big dumb meanie, but no,  Applejack fixed her mistake.

    So why does she feel like she is about to get what she always wanted, what could be so great about the Everfree forest, why does it feel like she could give anything and I mean ANYTHING up right now just to  give that piece to Discord, -zoom- she saw a strange red whisp of smoke,  -ssss-. As it took form into something truly horrifying , a devil, a creature that knows nothing of good , but could give her what she wanted.

    "Greetings", it said, in a voice that sent cold shivers down her throat , a raspy voice with the sound of tormented souls in the background as soon as it opened its mouth , it continued seeming proud of her fear

    "I am Mephisto",  Mephisto, spirit of tormented souls and all things unholy.

    Applebloom remembered learning about him in Equestrian Mythology and how he tricked Discord into becoming so chaotic in the first place, but she still had the urge to ask him.

    Suddenly she heard Zecora's voice yelling out to her.

    "Do not do it  young Applebloom , for such a monster spells your doom, if you make an evil deal , it is your fate that he will seal!"

    With anger Mephisto merely put a transdimensional field around him and Applebloom. She had to decide between Zecora and Mephisto, one was her friend, but the other could give her whatever she wanted. She remembered the "Cutie pox" incident and remembered how she got what she wanted and how terrible it turned out. So why was she so tempted to take the deal?

    "So what will it be youthful one?" said Mephisto, slightly irritated as though his time was being wasted.

    Applebloom gulped ,stood up and said "Whats the catch?".

    Mephisto replied "Simple in order to give Discord a piece of your mind , you have to give him a piece of everyone in Ponyvilles. he will be a second voice in their heads  able to manipulate ponies into everything from arguing to ", the demon paused and let a chuckle escape "murder."

    Applebloom shouted with anger

    "THE PONIES OF PONYVILLE WOULD NEVER COMMIT MURDER, THEY ARE GOOD NATURED CARING CREATURES UNLIKE DISCORD AND THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN TO HIM!!!".  Mephisto merely smirked at this  

    "Well if you want me to leave then". She quickly responded

    " NO WAIT!".

    "You have wasted enough of my time, choose now, or choose never, it is your choice to make and my deal to offer, if you do not wish Discord to know how much suffering and pain he caused than that is your problem,not mine." Mephisto said.

    Applebloom sighed," You win, now let me tell Discord who is boss!".

    Mephisto let out a laugh at this,

    "Pretty soon he will be."  

    A mental vision of Discord then appeared next to him

    "Won't I", Discord smirked.

    Comments ( 22 )

    #1 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    *sees title*

    INSTANT TRACK!:pinkiehappy:

    #2 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    FINALLY! SOMEONE WRITES THIS! And there is only one thing left to say...

    *Dramatic pause*

    YOU. HAVE WON. THE GAME. I mean, really. Even though your grammar isn't the best, I love this. So. Much. I just can't wait until Deadpool meets Pinkie Pie... Bye-Bye, fourth wall, it was a pleasure knowing what's left of you... :rainbowlaugh:

    #3 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I feel like I should point this out in the rudest way possible.

    "so what do you think, where do you think i need to improve, and on what levels , plus if you see any potential in me that is great. Because I was thinking of another fic that portays discords origins using the movie Scarface (1983) Oh and enjoy this prequel to part 2"

    You see this? Get rid of it. Right the fuck now. Replace it with a bunch of ---- I don't care just get rid of it.

    Seriously though, the story itself is okay. lots of spelling errors you need to fix, spaces between words you need to add, and delete. Also, when new dialogue is added, a new paragraph is too. I know you would have lots of one or two sentence long paragraphs, but that's how literacy works.

    But I do like the story, and I'd like to see more, but it needs to be drastically improved.

    #4 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    :rainbowhuh:......:rainbowderp:......:rainbowlaugh:

    #5 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    For a workout of the imagination, this is a serious workout.

    I'm intrigued by the idea, but the errors make it hard to read.

    Not to mention that out of place portion in the middle makes me think you're just pitching this idea to people. If you wanna do it just go with what you want. I mean its Deadpool in Equestria go nuts!

    Also, if you have a mind to mention maybe making a revised version, you should have done it before you posted. That or not have mentioned it at all.

    That said, I still like the idea.

    #6 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Wall of text. :ajsleepy:

    Other than that, I may give it a chance. Seems a bit rushed though.

    #7 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>276005 I actually like how you didn't backdown you weren't afraid to tell me what was wrong and I respect that

    #8 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I believe the forth wall will be lost forever after this. YAY!! :yay:

    #9 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>276082 And I can respect someone who can actually take criticism. You sir, are on my respect list. :pinkiesmile:

    It's a somewhat short list...

    #10 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    We are gathered hear today to morn the passing of Fourth Wall, he died in the line of duty and will forever be missed.

    :pinkiehappy::Hi want to be friends, what am I saying of course you do cause I'm friends with every pony in Ponyvill and...

    (Fourth Wall resurrects)

    Also apple bloom why you so :facehoof:

    #11 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Lol matching my Spider-Man fic

    #12 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I really like the concept, and your dialogue and such is rather good. I don't want to harp on your formatting errors, as other people have acknowledged them. However, if you so desire, I'd be happy to be a pre-reader/editor for you. I don't think your story needs changing. The overall organization just needs a little polish is all.

    #13 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Now that these two epic worlds have collided, we must ask: Muffins or chimichangas?:rainbowhuh:

    #14 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>276535 That is easy neither. U always should choose a chimimuffinga. :pinkiehappy:

    #15 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    :derpyderp1::applejackconfused::rainbowderp::twilightoops: Deadpool in Equestria.......... WAAAAANNNNT!!!:pinkiehappy:

    This first chapter was pretty good. The story definitely has potential to be good. I'm assuming english isn't your first

    language from the story's grammar(sorry if i'm wrong), so i would suggest getting a pre-reader. You may also want to

    hire a contractor and construction crew to handle the 4th wall you're about to demolish! :rainbowlaugh: Looking forward to more.

    #16 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>275979 same here.... brohoof?

    #17 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>276923 brohoof. /)

    #18 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    its pretty good considering its your first work, i'm also new, and made some of the same mistakes you did (grammar, and the humongous paragraph), still, its not good to insert  a chunk of text telling us  about some other fic, or asking us what we think of you. you should leave that at the coments, your blog, or even as a note at the end of the document. also you should give it a few readings before posting, to try and fix every error you may find (i wrote my first chapter about 3 or 4 months ago and even though i kept checking grammar, i still had some mistakes when i uploaded it a few weeks ago.

    although i'm jealous of you XD. you got so many bronies here giving you constructive criticism, while i got mostly bad critiques because of a gary stu problem, that didnt even add up, but i digress, all and all i hope to read more of you soon, take care and you can always improve.:pinkiehappy:

    #19 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>276938 brohoof (\

    #20 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Yes! Deadpool is the only logical super hero choice to have a crossover with MLP: FIM

    #21 · 62w, 3d ago · · ·
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    This... this is Deadpool, sure, but the grammar is... OH GOD.

    I cannot, I CANNOT like this. Deadpool crossover or not, the constant usage of double  spaces and , wrong commas makes me very sad, and quite angry.

    #22 · 62w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Discord, Pinkie Pie AND Deadpool?!? The only thing not causing the entire multiverse to implode into a cloud of butterflies and chimichangas is the fast that Sheogorath isn't there as well; nothing can handle that much pure concentrated insane at one spot but this will still cause some strands of reality to tangle up with each other.

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