Daring Do and Risky Hooves sat in a sealed room, trapped as they awaited their doom. Their quest to find the legendary Alicorn Orb had taken a turn for the worst with the arrival of Ahuitzotl and his cats, all armed to the teeth. Without any supplies or tools, the pair’s fate seemed sealed. They sat in the stone room, staring at the cold, unforgiving floor.

“Well, at least we’ll freeze enough so that it doesn’t hurt as much when we die.” Daring said, a joking air in her voice, but her expression remained gloomy. It seemed there was no way out of their situation, and that they were doomed.

“Senorita, I’ve told you many times, but I do love you.” Risky said, locking his eyes on the shivering mare.

“I know Risky. When this is all over…” Daring drifted off, her gaze still on the floor. Risky crept forward.

“What, Senorita? When this is all over what?” He inched towards Daring, a shine in his eyes.

“It’s stupid, and I don’t think it really matters when we’re stuck like this.” She let out a sigh of despair. Risky stood up and trotted to her side and planted himself on the floor. He nuzzled her affectionately.

“Senorita, I’d like to know, even if it’s stupid.”

She was silent for a moment more, before kissing him gently on the cheek. She leaned against the wall, starring at the stone ceiling. “When this is all over Risky, I’m thinking we should get hitched, maybe settle down.”

He laughed, just a slight chuckle, but enough to gather a playful glare from Daring. “Dear senorita Daring, I cannot see you settling down easily.”

She kissed him again, this time her lips meeting his. “I might, for the right stud.”

They blushed as they gazed into each other’s eyes. They kissed again and again and again until they were locked in a passionate embrace on the ground.

Daring’s vest came off, and the two stood ready to go all the way. Risky kissed her body while massaging her tenderly with his forehooves. She moaned and gasped in delight, their bodies meeting perfectly in every way.

The moment finally came, and he began to lower himself down on her.

“Hold on, hold on.”

Big Macintosh stopped a confused look on his face. Rainbow looked around the room, set an ear on the floor and listened for a moment before looking up again.

“Huh. Whadya know? I was half-expecting Gilda to crash through the window or something.”

Big Macintosh nodded knowingly, remembering their previous attempted exploits.

“Well, no sense waiting for an interruption. Let’s get to it, ‘Risky Hooves.’ I’m ready, you amazing…”

The door smashed open, tearing the couples newly installed lock from the frame. Granny Smith stood outside, her zap apple helmet on her head.

“How dare yeh! Ah’ll have y’all know, we don’t believe’n locks in this household!” Dash and Mac could only stare at the old mare shouting at them now, disbelief in their eyes. “Honestly, Big Macintosh, I could’a sworn I taugh’cha better…” She wandered away, muttering under her breath all the way.

Dash and Mac remained silent, lying on the floor. Finally, Big Macintosh spoke up.

“T’hay with it, let’s just make love.”

“Uh huh.”

And so they did, traumatizing Scootaloo, who had passed their open window at the worst possible moment. She would spend the next few weeks in therapy with Twilight Sparkle, but who really cares about that?

… No I’m not writing about that. Not now anyways. Maybe later. Chapters over, go home now. Bye.